"What did Malik do now?" Niall sighed at the question, snapping shut the book he was reading and turned around to face Kendall. The brunette girl continued to stare back at him, eyes unrelenting. It had been a while since she had arrived at Niall's place and more than an hour when she had noticed how his eyes were stuck on the same page of the book, not moving but just staring and in all honesty, it was starting to creep her out.
"Nothing." The blonde sighed, receiving a scoff from his best friend. He wanted to smile and just pour his heart out but seriously, even he didn't understand himself anymore. It was stupid for him to be feeling like this, specially since he had kept on reminding himself that Zayn Malik was nothing but trouble, he was nothing but a crook and a blackmailer but now, somehow, Niall was finding himself falling for that said troublesome lad. He didn't even understand why since all Zayn ever did was tease him to the point where all Niall wanted to do was smack the Pakistani's head open and then there were those incredibly embarrassing pet names that Zayn always called him out with. There was absolutely nothing to like about the tanned man but yet, Niall couldn't help it. He was already in too deep.
"Is it because of that girl?" Kendall asked after a moment of silence, biting her lips as she waited for Niall to respond.
"Which girl?" The blonde asked rather quickly, clenching his fists as he wondered whether the news had already traveled to everyone at school. He was sure that tomorrow would be an embarrassing day and while he had managed to somehow leave school early today, he knew he couldn't possible fake sick every other day. No matter how much he wanted to do so. It was just the thoughts of walking down the hallways of the school and being pointed at by every single person as the guy who got played by Zayn Malik, being looked at with pity and humor, that was making Niall sick to his stomach.
"Some new girl. I heard people talking about shit but I didn't believe them. The ways Zayn treats you is just so...different." The girl concluded, nodding to himself when she was certain that she used the right word to describe whatever she felt when seeing her best mate with his boyfriend.
"How?" Niall asked, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He wanted to know, more than anything else in the world, as to how him and Zayn appeared to the eyes of the outsiders. Sure they were just pretending but was it the same anymore? Everything just came so easily now. It was as if he already knew Zayn both inside and out. He knew it well when the older lad was lying, knew how much he loved to paint and draw, how he could possibly stay up all night just staring at the stars as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. And even though it wasn't enough, it was still something because Niall knew that Zayn liked his coffee with less sugar, he knew that Zayn would always sleep on the left side of the bed and wasn't particularly into cuddles but would always give him some, he knew how Zayn would always ride his bike in the woods without any helmet on and as risky as that was, Niall knew it gave Zayn a rush. He knew so many things that were probably not even relevant but they were just somethings which caught his attention.
"It's just the way he looks at you and the way he treats you. He's always putting you first, he's always bothering you and paying attention to every single thing you say. It's like he hangs on to your every word."
"That's not true."Niall whispered, reminding himself that it was wrong to be feeling this way for Zayn. It wasn't that he could even stop himself from loving the Pakistani lad but he could definitely try to prevent himself from fall way too hard and hurting himself in the process. He could at least control his own feelings. Keeping whatever they had as strictly business, strictly a means to stop Zayn from leaking out those fucking pictures and showing them to the Principal and his parents.
"It is though." Kendall argued, getting up from the chair she was sitting at and sat on the bed instead, facing Niall. "Talk to him once, clear every single doubt you have and then tell me if I'm wrong because he loves you so much and it's visible from the way he looks at you." The soothing feminine voice calmed a big part of Niall down. He wanted to believe it so much, that Zayn Malik, the school's troublemaker, might possibly be in love with him but it was all so absurd. He had a fiance and they were definitely going to get married someday and to top it all off, she was gorgeous while Niall, in his own opinion, looked like a potato sack compared to Kehlani. How was he ever going to compete with that?
"And if he happens to be an actual jerk then screw him, I'll find you someone better." And just knowing that he had Kendall by his side (even though Kylie and Liam were always missing) somehow made everything a bit more clear.
..
There's a difference between knowing what you want and knowing what you need. Niall didn't know whether he should take his parents permission before escaping the confines of his house to meet Zayn or whether he absolutely needed it. He had never been the kind to leave the house when it was just seven in the evening and that in itself was sure to arise questions because firstly, he was supposed to be sick and secondly, he never left the house at this time. And the only hours that he actually went out to for parties with Liam and the girls, it was always way beyond nine and he would, obviously like a sensible teenager, sneak out rather than inform his parents. So it was weird that he was walking down the stairs, towards the TV room where all his family members were sitting, there eyes trained on his figure.
"What's wrong Niall?" Maura frowned, obviously concerned as to why her son was out of his room. It wasn't even her fault that she felt so shocked and worried. From the moment Niall would come back from school, he would always stay locked inside his room studying or sleeping or playing his guitar until he was called down for food or some serious talks. For him to be out on his own will was rather rare.
"I just wanted to go out. Get some fresh air. I feel suffocated inside the house today." Niall whispered softly , keeping his gaze locked with his mother's. He knew full well that lying was bad but he needed to follow Kendall's advice before he could change his mind and considering that he had already texted Zayn and prepared them both to meet at the park close by his house, Niall had only about half an hour left to prepare himself for his conversation with Zayn and deal with his parents.
"Of course! Greg will accompany you." Bobby responded, smiling brightly at his younger son with a proud nod of his head .
"No. That's not needed. I just want to be alone for a while. I'll be back in a few minutes." The blonde huffed, feeling awfully conscious with the way his parents and his older brother were staring down at him. Maybe he should think about putting the conversation with Zayn on hold or postpone it for tomorrow when they would cross paths once again in school. Or maybe, just maybe, he should forget all about it and rather focus on his education and on his sleep. Those were things he was really neglecting ever since Zayn Malik happened.
"Is everything alright?" Maura asked, getting up from the chair to walk towards her younger son. She looked tired already and it might have been the old age creeping in but Niall was certain that just a few months ago, his mother looked more alive and young.
"Everything is fine. School is just stressing me out." The boy replied honestly because all his lessons were nothing more than a hindrance and with the exams approaching, he knew he would have to start spending extra time at the library.
"Is someone bullying you?"
"No. Zayn would kill them if they even tried." The words seemed to tumble down his lips before he could even process them and both his and Maura's eyes seemed to widen at the sentence he had just spoken.
"And this Zayn kid is the same boy you brought home with you, am I right?" The woman asked carefully, her eyes frowning knowingly but there was still a hint of hesitance in them. It made Niall wonder that if he was ever to properly figure his sexuality out - which most certainly was anything other than straight - would his parents even accept him? A large part of him didn't even understand why a person's sexuality was such a major issue. If you're straight then everything is normal for you, there are no comments thrown your way for being with someone of the opposite gender and really, it's just peaceful in that sexuality department. But if you're anything other than it, suddenly it's like the entire world turns against you and Niall didn't get why. If he was ever to have kids and they were ever to bring their partners home, he wouldn't frown or worry or ask a million questions and probe about his child's sexuality. He would just accept them, whether the person they loved was of the same gender or the opposite. As long as they treated them well.
"Yes. He's a new friend. Can we talk about this later? I really just want to go for a walk." Niall quickly rushed the words out, smiling a little when Maura nodded and without giving a second glance, he pulled the sleeves of his white sweater down to cover his fists and left the confinement of his home, sighing in relief when he had successfully managed to do so.
On the way to the park, the blonde gave himself the time to think about what he was going to say but nothing made sense anymore. He was ready to put his feelings out there but saying them out loud made it all the more real. When it was only in his head, he could at least pretend to hate Zayn but once he would have spoken it out loud, even that wouldn't be possible. The blonde sighed, ruffling his hair up and checking his phone for any new notifications, a blush coming unknowingly on his cheeks when Zayn had arrived to his last message with a 'waiting fr u by d swings.' And although Niall wanted to cringe at the abbreviations, he somehow managed to ignore them, increasing the speed of his walk until he had rounded about towards the entrance of the park.
"Took you a long time to get here." The crisp voice filled the air, the layer of cigarette smoke surrounding his face gave Niall a bit of time to compose himself, to prepare himself for everything he was about to ask and say.
"You know how my parents are." The blonde spoken out, reaching towards where the raven haired man was sitting by the swinging, a cigarette dangling between his lips and without hesitance, he took it out and brought it closer to his own thin pink lips, inhaling a deep puff before exhaling the smoke out. He sighed in relief at the taste and after taking at least three more drags, passed the cancer stick back to his "boyfriend."
"I've got more if you want them." Zayn cocked his head to the side, bringing the entire pack filled with cigarette out and even tossed his lighter over to the blonde who just chuckled.
"I prefer the brand I smoke over Camel." The Irish lad bit his lip, his blue eyes staring at Zayn's deeper hazel ones in the dim lit park. It was mostly tensed and weird for them both to be around one another, especially when Niall had so much to ask but he couldn't bring himself to just open his mouth and speak his mind out. So he patiently waited for the Pakistani to break the eye contact and speak something instead.
"I'm sorry." Zayn spoke softy, swinging his legs before getting up from the swings and walking towards Niall. He walked the way those long eyelashes seemed to gently touch the blonde's cheeks and smiled upon noticing just how small and precious Niall looked in that white sweater he was wearing, with his blue skinny jeans. "I should've explained everything to you before."
"Then explain it to me now." The blonde whispered softly, raising his chin up to meet Zayn's tall frame with as much confidence as he could muster. "If you had a fiance then you really didn't meet me around."
"It's much more complicated than that, kitten." The Pakistani groaned, feeling utterly helpless in the situation.He just wished they could move past this and go back to teasing and cuddling one another. The way it should be.
"Don't call me that until you explain it all to me."
"There's nothing more to explain. The other stuff doesn't concern you." Niall bit his lip, wanting to cry out in frustration.
"Then don't bother with me. Leave me alone. Let's just stop with this entire fake relationship stuff because it's really tiring me out now." Niall hissed, keeping his gaze focused on the hazel eyes. He wanted to so badly run his hand down that rough stubble that Zayn was trying to grow and he wanted to just stay in those tattooed arms he had come to love so much but what was the point if he wasn't even getting a bit of truth out from the boy he was starting to deeply care and love? With that, Niall turned around on his heels, getting ready to leave but a firm hand gripping onto his upper arm, and bringing his back close to a muscular chest made his breath hitch, stopping him in his movements and locking him in a tight embrace.
"I will tell you everything but with time. Right now, I just need you to trust me." Zayn spoke slowly, his voice begging and just desperately hoping that Niall would understand.
"How can I trust you when there is another girl that you're fucking engaged to?" The blonde's voice broke the moment arms wrapped tightly around his waist and Zayn's breath smelling on mint and cigarettes hit the back of his neck.
"Because she means nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'll deal with her so please just don't stress over Kehlani." The older of the two spoke with purpose, making Niall sigh in relief because at least one of them knew what they wanted. "Do you trust me kitten?" The words were spoken with such absolute care that Niall felt his heart melt and he wanted to just kiss Zayn's face and scream out a string of yes's but that would be a lie, because even now, he was unsure. Not with Zayn, but with Kehlani. They were still soon to be married no matter what the Pakistani said.
"Should I?" Niall whispered, turning around so they were chest to chest and face to face. Zayn quickly eased his arms around the blonde's waist, bringing the smaller lad closer and inhaling the familiar scent of peaches and cherries and something distinctly Niall.
"I would say, yes, you should." The Pakistani whispered before leaning down to press a kiss to the blonde's lips, their lips moving together as they tired hard to hold onto one another and everything was going perfectly before Niall's mouth decided to speak without taking permission from his brain and when Zayn bit on his bottom lip, making the blonde moan out a "Fuck I love you," the moment was broken as quickly as it started and then there were hazel eyes, widened in surprise staring at him.
"What?"
AN/ It was all going too smooth and fluffy in the beginning, I didn't like it at all. I have a problem with cheesy romance it seems. lol
I'm back home which means more update and I feel very blessed right now because my exams are over and I just had delicious red sauce pasta yesterday and now I'm going to shop for more books to read and this is definitely the life I wanna be living. There's no stress and everything is almost perfect.
Apart from this:
Thoughts on the chapter?
Thoughts on Kendall approving of Ziall?
THoughts on where kylie and Liam are all the time?
Thoughts on Kehlani?
Do you think Maura suspects something between Ziall?
What do you think about Niall's confession?
DO you think he should have waited?
What about Zayn's reaction? What is it going to be like?
What's going to happen to Niall now?
NEXT UPDATE AT 85+ VOTES AND COMMENT :D
Random question: How have you all been? ALSO WHO READS CAMREN? I REALLY WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING GIRL ON GIRL. NOT TOO HARDCORE OR OVERLY SMUTTY BUT JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SEX AND EVERYTHING. YA KNOW? SHOULD I?? SHOULD I ?