The Headline
Valentine's Day was coming up, which led to the usual feeding frenzy in the common room. Sirius and James leaned against the wall, watching it go down with raised eyebrows. "So bloody glad I don't have to deal with --" Sirius waved at the nervous collection of sweaty-palmed boys on one side and giggling peeking-over-their-textbooks girls on the other, "-- all that lot."
"Yeah. Bloody rub it in why don't you?" James said, "Just go on and pour all that salt in the wound, Padfoot."
Sirius crossed his arms, smiling smugly. "You know what you need to do, Prongs, is get your game on," he said. "You need to select a lady and go for it and forget about Evans."
"I know... but just the thought of letting go of her makes me feel sort of empty inside," James said with a sigh. He looked over at the table, where the girls were all sitting. Lily was the only one actually concentrating on her homework. The others were either gabbing about the dates they'd already made or else speculating who would end up going with which boy. He sighed, "I just don't fancy the other girls like I do her. Next to her, they're so... plain."
Sirius grinned, "Maybe you'd rather fancy one of the blokes?"
"That's your shtick," James replied.
Sirius laughed. "Rather, it's a howling fetish, what I've got" he said, eyes twinkling.
James was still staring at Lily.
"Alright mate, what about a girl from another house?" Sirius suggested, "Is there anyone else? A brilliant little Ravenclaw? A goody-goody Hufflepuff?" He smirked, "Maybe you like'em naughty... we pick you up a Slytherin girl down in the dungeons..."
James smirked, "A Slytherin girl?" he laughed, "Is Snape single?"
Sirius laughed, but half heartedly, and he asked ,"So? What do you reckon? Maybe another house?"
"Maybe," James answered, "I dunno."
"We'll get you a date," Sirius promised. Then, spotting Meg Johnson and McKenna Alliston looking over their way, he said, "C'mon, let's go upstairs." He grabbed onto James's arm and hauled him up the steps to the boys dormitory.
Meanwhile, down the path that wound away from Hogwarts, in the heart of the village of Hogsmeade, a great commotion was going up... Flashes of light - red and green both - shot across the main street, bursting windows. A great firework spun out from within, swallowing up the display of Zonko's before smashing into the popcorn vendor's cart and sending kernels of corn into the air to rain over the body-strewn street.
"MORSMORDRE!" bellowed a voice from behind one of the terrible Death Eaters masks, and there was a horrible, shrieking cackle that came from a figure directly beside the caster of the Dark Mark.
The bartender of the Hogshead leaned against his locked door, eyes closed, clutching his wand to his chest... More innocent lives gone... more pain caused by wizards seeking to wield powers that were never meant for them...
FIFTEEN KILLED, MANY MORE MISSING, IN HOGSMEADE AS DEATH EATERS WRECK HAVOC ON WIZARDING VILLAGE, read the Daily Prophet the next morning, with smaller headlines detailing the deaths, including Mr. Honeyduke himself, who'd been setting up his window display for Valentine's Day with chocolate cauldrons, and Madam Rosmerta's brother, Jasper.
The Great Hall was on fire with worry - they'd come so close to Hogwarts! How had it happened? How had He Who Must Not Be Named and his followers been able to sneak in so close, right beneath Dumbledore's nose? Where were the defenses that supposedly kept Hogsmeade (and, consequently, Hogwarts) safe? Where were the aurors? Where was the Ministry? The Resistance? Where where Dumbledore?
"This isn't good," whispered Frank, leaning over to talk to Sirius and the other Marauders. His eyes were dark with worry. "You don't reckon they were coming after us?"
Sirius's eyes darkened. "Like revenge."
"Yeah, exactly," Frank said lowly.
Sirius stared at the table; the Death Eaters could be looking for him, he thought. They could be there to avenge Eileen Prince, to kill the boy who killed one of their own... What if that was exactly what had given them the gumption to attack so close under Dumbledore's nose? What if all those people - fifteen and counting! - were dead because of him, Sirius? He suddenly felt extremely dizzy, like the entire world was spinning and he needed to vomit and he shoved himself up from the house table and ran out of the room.
Frank looked surprised, "What was that on about?"
"Dunno, but I'm finding out --" James started to get up to go after Sirius, but Remus shook his head and waved his hand for James to sit.
"I know. You lot stay here. I'll take care of him."
At the Slytherin table, Regulus Black had watched his brother run from the room and he wondered what was wrong. Part of him wanted to go after Sirius to see if he was alright, but he didn't move.
On his way out, Sirius nearly slammed into Evan Rosier, who was coming in late to dinner from the dungeons. "Watch where you're bloody going," he sneered. It was a mark of how upset Sirius was - and how close to throwing up - that he didn't pause to snap back at the Slytherin, but kept going until he was out the door and began to wretch loudly over the side of the stairs into the brush that lined the castle.
When Remus came hurtling around the frame of the door next, though, he really did collide with Rosier and they both stumbled backward from the impact. Evan glowered, "What the bloody hell is with people running out this door ---" and then he saw who it was and he grinned maliciously. "Oi, Puffer Fish, you on your way to comfort your puking little boyfriend? What'd he do? Have a look at your ugly, hacked-up face?" Remus didn't answer, he just stepped around Evan and went on toward the front door, which had caught slightly opened in its jam, letting in the cold air as well as the sound of Sirius's heaving. Evan laughed, "I know that face of yours makes me want to puke... You're just so bloody ugly!"
"Go on. Say that again." Lily had just come up from the dungeons stairs as well, Severus Snape, wincing at the light of the entrance hall, right behind her, holding her hand, even...
Rosier's eyebrows went up. "Oh my - the mudblood and the halfblood, you lot are a grand couple aren't you?"
Lily's voice shook, "Watch your filthy mouth, Rosier."
Evan Rosier laughed and held up his hand as Lily drew her wand. "Sorry, blimey a guy's just headed to dinner," he smirked as he backed into the Great Hall... but he looked at Remus as he did... and made an obscene gesture with his thumb in his mouth, and winked, before ducking 'round the corner.
Lily glowered.
"He's absolutely terrible," she growled, looking to Remus, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just -- Sirius --" Remus waved to the door and he hurried out to comfort Sirius, who had sunk to sit on the rock.
Severus stared after Remus's disappearing back. "That boy is strange," he commented.
"What? Remus?" Lily's voice carried an edge, "No he isn't. He's one of the best --"
"No, I don't mean it as an insult, I mean there's something strange about him. I can't see his mind. There's many times I've been around him and the legilimency comes some what naturally, like I can feel emotions people are feeling and all that with very little effort, see pictures their minds conjure with the spell... but I can't feel his mind at all. He's a very good occlumens."
Lily tried everything in her power not to think the word werewolf or to feel nervous at all. She shrugged, "Maybe he's a natural at it the way you're a natural at legilimency."
"Perhaps." Snape stared at the front door. "He's always sneaking about, too, and how bloody many classes has he missed and nobody ever says a thing about it."
Lily said, "C'mon, let's just get our food and go."
"Alright..." he replied, turning to follow her, but the mystery that was Remus Lupin's closed mind still pressed against him, making him wonder... what was different about Lupin? And what had brought the feeling of unease from Lily just now? What did Lily know about Remus that she wasn't saying?
"I'll be right back," Lily said, "You wait here."
Severus nodded.
She went into the hall to go and get food from the tables while Severus lingered by the great hour glasses that counted the house points. He stayed where he was for a moment or two... but then he glanced at the big entry doors... still just open ajar... the sound of Sirius and Remus's voices carrying, muffled... and inched closer... eager to hear what they were saying...
Sirius squeezed his eyes shut, the whole of the world spinning about him.
Remus held his hand, crouching beside him. A light snow was falling, leaving a dusting over both the boys and everything else on the ground. "C'mon, you can't stay out here, it's freezing. You'll catch pneumonia."
"Then maybe I'll bloody die and everyone'll be better off," Sirius muttered darkly.
"Better off?" Remus demanded, "You think I'd be better off without you?"
"In the end," Sirius said, burying his face in his arms.
"Don't be stupid," Remus exclaimed.
Sirius didn't move.
"Sirius. Don't be stupid," Remus repeated and he grabbed at Sirius's face, making him look up at him, "You're absolutely wrong if you think, in any way, that I could possibly be better off without you. I'd be terrible without you. You know how many times you've saved my life? How many times you've cleared out bad feelings from my heart?"
Sirius looked up at Remus with sad eyes, "Rey, I'm just so fucking scared I'm going to turn bad. I'm so fucking scared."
"You're not bad, Sirius."
"All those people are dead because of me, Rey."
"That's rubbish and you know it," Remus said.
"It isn't!"
"It is!"
"I'm what's rubbish. Me. I'm a horrible, murdering bit of rubbish and I should be thrown away."
Angry, Remus shook Sirius's shoulders one good jolt, "STOP!" he snarled, "STOP IT. Stop talking about yourself like that! I bloody love you and you're breaking my heart to be saying such horrible things about yourself that aren't even true. Voldemort being in your mind -- he's left a dark cloud in there. He's hurt you so bloody badly and I hate him and I ever get the chance I'll... I'll -- I'll avenge you! I'll make James change into a stag and I'll climb aboard him and we'll charge into whatever cave Voldemort's hiding in next and we'll bloody blast him to very pieces!"
Sirius couldn't help but laugh, even though the tears, at the image of Remus riding James into battle.
Remus reached over and lifted Sirius's chin so they were looking into one another's eyes. "Please fight this sadness as passionately as you do everything else, my love. I can't fight it for you. I wish I could. But I'll be here to hold you as you do."
Sirius closed his eyes as Remus slid over to sit beside him and pulled him into his arms. "Just like this?" he murmured.
"Exactly like it if that's what you need." And Remus leaned in and kissed his forehead.
Lily came back from the Great Hall to find Severus standing by the door, a pale look on his face.
"Sev?"
He turned to look at her. His eyes were like stone.
"Are you alright?"
He was trying to make sense of images in Sirius Black's frantic mind... broken fragments of images... pictures that didn't quite add up to a full story...
"Severus?"