Here I sit, contemplating, waiting.
Waiting for what i have no clue,
maybe something better, something new.
I have all these thoughts running through my mind,
thoughts that I've been trying to ignore, I tried to leave them behind.
They keep following, thoughts about life, death, the world, love, everything unknown.
I thought that it would get better once I was grown.
Now all I see is that I'm stuck and alone.
It's hard, to get past all the thoughts that make me want to stay in bed.
That doesn't make anything better I've learned, the thoughts keep on in my head.
I wish I could be like others and just ignore all the problems of the world,
but I'm not like the others. my thoughts are all a swirl.
Everything streams through my mind,
each new thought a new flame, one of a kind.
I hate it.
I hate not being able to turn my mind off at night,
to be able to relax and enjoy the simple light.
That would be too easy, though nothing in my life has ever been given.
All my life my thoughts made me hard and driven.
Driven to someday be able to get rid of all these bad thoughts inside my head.
That someday, my anxiety, my doubts, and fears would be put to bed.
I learned to work with the thoughts in mind,
hoping that one day they might show me a sign.
A sign of what I'm supposed to do with my life,
or why I've always been surrounded with strife.
Maybe it's because all of this has made me stronger,
made it so that I can last in this harsh world longer.
I don't know why my mind is busier than a new york street,
I'm learning to dance to my thoughts musical beat.
Shuffling around on my two left feet,
learning how to follow and take the lead.
I will tame these thoughts like a trusty steed.
I won't give up, even if I bleed.