I don't wake up until lunch time when I feel the foot of my bed dip noticeably. I snap awake and sit up, unable to help the spark of hope that dies instantly when I see the long flaming red hair of Ginny. She has a plate in her hand piled with sandwiches which she places next to me on my nightstand.
"I was worried when you didn't come down to eat," she says when I rub the sleep from my eyes and focus on her.
"Sorry, I didn't get to sleep until early this morning," I mumble, my voice thick with sleep. I push myself up into a seated position and reach for the bottle of water next to the bed. Once I drain it, I pick up one of the sandwiches and take a bite. Ginny is watching me closely and I roll my eyes.
"I am fine Ginny, I am not going to explode or burst out in tears. I am just going to eat a sandwich," I tell her and she finally smiles.
"Sorry, but when my best friend is upset, it is hard not to worry a little," she shrugs unapologetically.
"Its okay, I am doing better after I got some sleep," I lie. In reality, my stomach is still churning and my chest feels empty and cold.
"Good, have you decided which boy toy you are going to hang on to then?" she asks and the curiosity in her voice is plain.
"Draco made the decision for me last night when he found me reading this," I tell her, grabbing Ron's letter off the side table and pushing it into her hand. She is quiet for a minute while she reads and when she looks up, there is a definite scowl on her face.
"That git! There was no reason he couldn't have picked up a quill and written you a letter. This had to take him all of what? Ten seconds? If he were here I would curse him into oblivion!" rants Ginny. Everything she said and more passed through my mind last night, but hearing someone else say it seems to make it even worse.
"Stop Ginny. It doesn't matter anyway. Draco pretty much told me he doesn't want anything more to do with me last night when he saw me reading that so it doesn't make any difference anyway," I explain, struck again by the cold feeling in my chest.
"Well I guess that explains why Nicola was all over him in the Great Hall," mumbles Ginny.
"What was that?" I ask, a cold trickle creeping up my spine.
"Down in the Great Hall, that Nicola girl was all over Malfoy at the Slytherin table," explains Ginny.
"And what was he doing?" I ask, trying to sound uninterested and failing miserably.
"He was soaking it up, but I couldn't help noticing that he couldn't stop searching our table and I have a good idea I know who he was searching for," says Ginny with a sly smile.
"Well he has moved on, he obviously doesn't need to be searching for me," I snap. "Sorry," I say when she raises her eyebrow at me, reminding me that it isn't her fault that any of this is happening. It is my fault and my fault alone.
"Oh please Hermione, he is only with that troll to make you jealous because you hurt his manly pride," says Ginny, rolling her eyes.
"I hurt a lot more than his pride Ginny, I think I ruined everything."
Draco
I can barely stand the feel of Nicola's body pressed against mine. She is worse than the giant squid and will not leave me alone. Her perfume is smothering me with its sickly sweet abundance and I can't stop wondering if she bathes in the stuff or if she even has a sense of smell left. We are sitting in the Great Hall, eating dinner. Well I'm trying to eat dinner anyway. The girl will not let go of me long enough to let me take a bite.
I didn't actually mean to lead her on, it was sort of an accident. I had just come back from flying my broom again and didn't want to go to my room and risk running into Hermione, so I went into the Slytherin Common Room to see who I could find to talk to. Nicola was sitting on the couch, but when she saw me, she was suddenly all over me, inviting me to sit with her. I gladly accepted her offer, hoping she could distract me from the gnawing ache in my chest that has taken up residence there since I fought with Hermione. And now I can't get rid of her.
Unintentionally, my eyes rake the Gryffindor table...again...and for the first time, they land on a pair of sad brown eyes watching me from across the room. I have to fight away the guilt that swamps me and I remind myself that she rejected me, she didn't want me so why should I feel guilty for being with another girl? I shouldn't. But the urge to shove Nicola away and run over to Hermione, sweep her into my arms and run so far from this place no one will ever find us, is hard to resist.
"The mudblood is staring at you again. Should we giver her a show?" Nicola breathes in my ear and anger pulses through me. I shove away from her and turn, jaw clenched with trying to suppress my rage.
"Don't you ever, ever call her that. Don't ever call anyone that," I snap furiously and everyone within hearing distance turns to stare at me.
"But Draco, baby, it is what she is. You have said so for years," she reminds me with wide, scared eyes.
"I was wrong. And if I ever hear you saying that word again, you will be answering to the head boy, and I am not a forgiving person. And I am not your baby," I tell her with cold fury and without a second glance.
Unable to go back to the Slytherin common room or even my own common room, I head out to the grounds, grab my broom and fly across the lake to the trees beyond. While I was trying to escape Hermione, I found a small alcove on the opposite side of the lake and that is where I head now. When I get there, I sink down on the soft grass and stare up at the darkening sky. If I don't stop talking to girls, I am not going to have anywhere in the castle that can go to avoid them.
Hermione
I watch dumbfounded as Draco storms from the Great Hall after obviously getting into what looked like a fight with his girlfriend. Ginny looks at me with confusion all over her face and I probably look just as confused. I look down at my nearly full plate. Watching Malfoy with that girl made it hard to choke anything down. And it was obvious that he was enjoying her attention up until she said something in his ear, then everything changed. He shouted at her and left to go who knows where.
I know I am not going to be able to eat anything else, so telling Ginny I'll see her in the morning, I head to my common room. But just as I am leaving the Great Hall, a slytherin girl I have never talked to walks up to me and without looking at me or stopping she says:
"He was defending you, just so you know."
"Wait, what?" I ask and she slows and looks over her shoulder.
"Draco, he fought with Nicola because he was defending you. You should keep than in mind while you are messing with him. He deserves someone better," she says and then she is gone.
I don't fully comprehend what she said until I am standing in the center of the common room. When it does hit me, I feel like I have been slapped awake. If Draco really did hate me, he wouldn't have fought his new girlfriend for me. The girl in the hall was right, he does deserve better. But that last two days have been pure misery. I feel like a giant has grabbed a hold of my lungs and is slowly squeezing tighter and tighter. I was sad to leave Ron, but being away from him hasn't caused me nearly as much pain as the last 2 days avoiding Draco.
I sit down on the couch and put my head between my knees, trying to fight back the dizziness that is spinning the room. I know what everyone thinks I should do. I know Ron is the safest choice, the easy choice. But I am sick of making choices just to make everyone else happy and to avoid trouble. Maybe it is time I started making decisions that will make me happy and just let everyone else either accept it, or hate me. My hands are shaking as I realize what I am planning, so with my head still between my knees and a pale face and shaking hands, I must look pretty sick when Draco sweeps into the room.
"Hermione! Are you okay?" exclaims Draco, rushing over and standing in front of me. He reaches out and places a cool hand on my cheek, checking my temperature. His touch ignites a warm glow under my skin that starts to chip at the ice that has taken up residence in my chest.
"I'm okay, just thinking," I tell him, looking up. He immediately steps away and the flash of relief in his face is quickly replaced by cool indifference.
"Whatever. I don't know why I asked int eh first place," he mumbles and, turning on his heel, starts to walk away.
"Wait Draco!" I shout, louder than I intended.
"What do you want Hermione," he sighs. There is no anger or hate in his voice. He just sounds very, very tired.
"I was wrong," I tell him, staring at his back which is still facing me.
"About what?" he says with quiet exhaustion.
"You. I was wrong to push you away," I mumble quietly. To my surprise, when he turns, it is anger that fills his face and voice.
"Why are you doing this to me Hermione? Isn't it enough that you have taken away the only friend I had at this stupid school this year? Isn't it enough that you shoved me away and treated me like a parriah? I can't take any more Hermione, I don't have anything else to give you. What else could you possibly want from me?" he shouts, his hands clenched.
"You. I just want you," I whisper and his eyes widen slightly.
"For how long Hermione? Until Ronnie writes you another sappy love letter? Until your friends start to hate you for being with me? I deserve better than that Hermione, I can't take you pushing me away again. You can only stretch me so far before I finally break," he snaps and I can feel warm tears begin to fill my eyes. Maybe I was wrong and he doesn't want me anymore.
"I'm sorry Draco, I shouldn't have said anything. I am just...sorry," I mumble as the tears spill over . I can see the hurt and anguish coloring every feature of his beautiful face. His jaw is clenched so tight I don't know how his teeth haven't broken.
Then, the anger is back and he is stalking toward me. Soon he is towering over me and I step backward. He follows me until my back it to the wall and I am staring up at him in fear of what he may do. His arms come up and smack on the wall on either side of me. I am pinned with no hope for escape. But he doesn't hit me, instead he lowers his face so fast I barely have time to brace myself before his lips claim mine. He takes another step closer, dissolving the space between us and pressing our bodies together so I am pinned tightly between the wall and his hard body.
His mouth is fierce and demanding as it moves against mine. I can feel every ounce of hurt and betrayal I caused as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, bringing with it the taste of chocolate and moonlight. My arms wind around his shoulders and my fingers tangle in his hair, poulling his face tighter against my own.
My body is on fire. I feel like every nerve ending is about to burst as the flames burn down to pure passion so intense it is almost painful. Impossibly, I press even closer to him. It is like we are trying to meld our bodies into one. The heat is coming off of his hard body in waves, sinking through my skin and adding to my already blazing blood. Every sensitive area of my body is humming with a life it has never known before and I ache for more contact. But instead of more contact, he pulls his lips from mine. For a moment I am disappointed, then I see the look of pure burning passion in his eyes and I know that no kiss could ever compare to the feeling that those eyes give me in that moment.