This chapter is dedicated to Abby2402
I was told the chapters are too short, so I decided to make a longer chapter today. What do you think? Is it okay or too long? This is the longest chapter I have ever written. I need to know If it's okay by you guys.
A love that hurts is true. If it doesn't hurt, it isn't true
-yabookempress
They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I knew he probably didn't even know I existed. And it hurts so much, so much that nothing seemed to be right anymore.
Each day went by so slow and I could feel my self gasping for air everyday. I felt suffocated and trapped in my own feelings.
It hurt so much that I had to pretend we never knew each other. I had to pretend we were never anything close to falling in love or kissing each other.
Why did it have to hurt this much? Maybe it was because I fell for the wrong person.
The moments we shared just appeared to be something that never happened. I had tried to pull myself together so many times, each passing day but the memories of us kept pulling me down and making me weak. Maybe if we were never so close, it wouldn't hurt this much.
Days had gone by, weeks too and pain was the only thing I knew. I cried and paused, then I cried again because tears was the only thing I had left. Sometimes, just to make room for a heart full of smiles, people have to cry out all their tears. But I hope I would ever be able to smile again. Even if I smile, it could never be the same. The darkness that have overshadowed my heart was much more than the smile or happiness that I had left in me.
I stood by the window just like always hoping something would happen. Something good, something that would take the pain away. I was only wishing that he'd show up like he always did.
I could hear a soft knock on my wooden door and I didn't really bother to answer. I only stared outside of my window without a word. My door screeched open and that didn't make me to turn around.
"Hey sweetie" It was the soft voice of my mom calling. She had been so worried for the past few days and no one seemed to know what the problem was or how to help me stop from sinking into an ocean of depression.
Depression
It just occurred to me that I was really going out of my mind. I really didn't want to start talking to a stranger about what was hard to believe, what I couldn't tell my friends and my family. But what was I really suppose to do? Forget about ever being close to him? Forget about the sweet little moments we shared? How could I possibly forget that his girlfriend was really not the right person for him...
"I made some steak and cheese toasties, would you have some?" . My mom said, like I would agree to eat this time around. I had really not been eating like before and I have refused to to talk to or see anyone, even Emma and Kim.
Emma and Kim, I miss them.
My mom have really tried her best to talk to me but I had been trying my best to avoid any conversation with her. And I was pretty sure she would be having a fake smile on her if I was to turn around. I shook my head without turning around. I wasn't ready to let her see how swollen my eyes were.
The door creaked shut and I finally turned around knowing my mom already left the room. I heaved a soft sigh of dejection. I really didn't like myself these days, I rejected what I loved to eat most and I didn't even find anything interesting, not even science that I loved so much. It was not that I had been going to school. But science always wanted me to be in school everyday but not these past few days.
I slowly walked away from the window, I could feel how exhausted I was.
I crawled into bed and laid my head down hoping to wake up to a brighter and painless day.
***
"Alex! Alex!.." I heard a voice calling me. Was it another meaningless day already? My eyes were too heavy to open up but I forcefully half opened them. My head really ached so bad, I guess it was as a result of my constant tears and unnecessary thoughts of him.
"Alex!" The voice called again and now my eyes are widely opened. Kim and Emma were standing in my room. Kim with her enchanting smiles as always and Emma with her-I really don't know. She also have lovely smiles, but that is only known to those who were close to her. She only lets you see and know what she wants you to. But I knew she was the most intelligent and bravest girl I know.
"Emma, Kim" I called softly. I tried to sit up as they throw their arms around me together. 'Group hug' we call it that.
"We've missed you" They both said. I've missed them too and I know they would feel bad for me and even worse since I refused to see them. I really didn't want anyone feeling bad for me. Now Kim isn't smiling anymore, she seemed like she would cry any moment.
"I've missed you both so much" I said. really did miss them, more than anything in the world. But I missed Kent more, I missed him so much that I wished I could stop breathing. I wanted to stop breathing...
They both sat down beside me on the bed. Kim cupped my face in her hand as she looked me straight in the eyes.
"Why did you refuse to see us? Have we done something wrong?" Kim asked and I really felt bad.
"How could you say that, you both should know I would tell you if you did something wrong. I just don't want anyone to see me like this" I replied. My voice was still a little bit low. I haven't talked to anyone in days.
"You don't want us to see how good looking you are?" Emma joked and I could feel my upper teeth escaping from behind my lips. She always knew the right thing to say. I love her for that. It was obvious I really don't look good but they were both ready to make me forget how bad everything seems.
"We refused to listen to your mom today, we just came right to your room. You can't hide from us forever" Kim said.
"How are you? How are you feeling?" Emma asked. She couldn't keep her eyes off me, especially the bags under my eye.
"I'm good now" I tried to force a smile to convince them.
"What happened that day? Did anyone say something to you?" Kim asked
"Not really" I looked away. I really wasn't sure of what to tell them.
"Was it Kent? Or Tia? She is so dead" Emma's fist was already clenched. Was she really going to beat Tia up for me? She haven't done anything to me, though she deserves some slap for treating Kent like a fool. But I wouldn't blame her either, it really wasn't her fault. If there was something I had learnt in the past few days, it was not to judge people the way we see them. People act the way they do sometimes for a reason. Getting to Know Kent had made me to realise that, and then Tia too.
"No Emma, she didn't say anything. No one did" Emma raised her brow at me. She didn't seem to be convinced.
"I swear! No one said anything" I wouldn't want Emma to make a big deal of this issue, the whole school would get to know I was crushing on a cheerleader's boyfriend and I could be the school clown.
"So, what happened? Emma asked
"I don't know...I just-"
"You were so happy that you forgot you don't even mean anything to him, so you felt disappointed when you finally saw him" Kim said before I could come up with an excuse myself.
"I guess" I shrugged my shoulders. That was easy.
"Oh..Alex" Emma exclaimed and slightly shook her head. "I can't imagine going through this. Is there a chance you could forget about him?" Emma tilted her head to the side with a pout. I can't believe she was asking me this. She knew what Kent mean to me.
I shook my head "A tiny little chance?" Emma asked again. But all I could do was sigh. That was enough to show I wasn't ready to give up on him. Not now.
"He doesn't even know you exist and-" Before Emma could finish, I raised my brow at her to stop her from talking bad about Kent and she grabbed that immediately. I really didn't like it when someone talked about Kent in a bad way just like Max did every time. I would say she was becoming like Max if she wasn't my friend. "OK...I believe everything would be fine" Emma added
"Yes" I replied
"That reminds me...Guess who was so worried about you" Kim said. I hope this is something good. I focused on her as she batted her eyes continuously hoping she would spill the beans. "Bryce..." She said and gave a broad smile.
Bryce was worried about me? I couldn't help but wondered. Why was he worried about me?
"He should call you soon, I gave him your phone number" Kim said, still smiling. Does she really have to smile at everything
"You did?" I stared at Kim in amusement. She didn't even ask me before giving out my number to the new boy. She didn't even care if I wanted Bryce to have my number or not. I looked at Emma hoping she would say something.
Emma shrugged. "Don't look at me like that, the poor guy really wanted to come with us but I refused to let him. All we could do was give him your number. I can't even believe he doesn't have your number, how come?" Emma started to wave her hands "...this is a guy that always gets to be with you any time possible, any chances he gets and he doesn't have your number...what has Kent done to you?"
I raised my my brow at her again. She shouldn't have to talk like Kent was a bad person.
"I only asked a question" Emma huffed and looked away.
"It seems to me like you guys changed within those few days I refused to see you. If I can remember clearly, You hated Bryce"
"No, we don't" Kim defended herself
"Yes, you do. You didn't want me to have anything to do with him. But now, he seems to be a hero and not the player you once said he is"
"People change, Alex" Emma replied
"I can't believe this" I said and shook my head. My headache has suddenly start to fade away and I am enjoying my friend's company already. "What happened to you both? Is he blackmailing you?" I couldn't help but asked. Emma is suddenly taking Bryce's side.
"No" Emma chuckles "I just thought you could give him a chance" Emma said and I raised my brow at her and she could notice the change on my face "I'm not saying you should give up on Kent yet, but you could try and see if you can really like someone else. He really seems to like you so much"
"Oh.." I exhaled. I haven't really thought about thinking of someone else beside Kent, it never really crossed my mind that Bryce like me, I admired Bryce but in a friendly way. Maybe I liked him but it was nothing compared to how I felt about Kent.
"Think about it" Emma added while hold my hands. She couldn't be serious right now.
"Ok...enough of the boys' talk" I said. I was not really interested in that but I could say I was happy to see them. I didn't know why I refused to see them at first, maybe I would have been over my heartbreak.
I could have been over Kent without regrets.
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