"You weren't there!" He repeated, loudly this time. "It was my fault! I left you alone." His face crumpled as tears flowed freely.
Bowing his head, he began to cry softly. I was absolutely still after hearing that story. There were so many things... so many things I'd been lied about. I wanted to... I needed to know.
But right now, I had to take care of my elder brother.
I moved closer to him and placed my other hand on his head to smooth his hair down. He seemed to take comfort in my proximity. Wafi shifted forward and buried his nose in my shirt as he shook against me. He took solace in my presence as my head reeled.
My entire life. My entire life was a lie.
The Fire Regent has a lot of resources. For that, any Regent has a lot of resources. So the fact that they couldn't find a simple building hidden in the forest is practically unfathomable. Either they didn't search hard enough, or they lied to Wafi. Both these reasons are far-fetched but right now, that's all I can assume. No one, in the Elementalist world at least, would not expend every resource they have. They would look in every hole, overturn every stone, dig if they had to. But they wouldn't stop till they found a Royal.
And why would they lie to Wafi? What would that give them? Two royals are better than one... I hate thinking like this. The idea of being one of... them is still alien to me.
I absently smoothed down Wafi's hair as a doubt niggled at the back of my mind. A cottage? Mich always told me he found me in the forest, like I'd been abandoned. Despite not caring who my parents were, most of the time, that had hurt. Glancing down at the flattened blonde hair, I frowned. Which one of them was telling the truth? What do I trust? The memory of a five year old, or my guardian?
Wafi's shakes had subsided. I slowly pulled away to let him recover and regain some face. I may not have any experience with a sibling whatsoever, but I do know big brothers don't like to show emotions.
"Sorry..." He spoke slowly, not looking up. "I messed up your clothes."
"Don't worry about it." I replied softly. "Are you okay? Do you need a glass of water? There is beer in the fridge too."
He chuckled and looked up. There were tear marks on his face but his eyes were crinkled up in amusement. "Really? Beer? I'm still hurting after last night."
That's not all he's hurting from. "Okay. Alright." I trailed off, unsure of how to continue our conversation. An awkward tension ensued on the room as Wafi unabashedly searched my face for some sign and waited for me to speak. I didn't know where to start, I didn't know how to start. There were more questions to be answered before I could say anything that may put him at peace.
"Fiera?" He prodded eventually. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Insecurity lined the sentence. He didn't want to get rejected again.
I stopped observing my feet and looked up. All I could manage was a shrug. Confusion crossed his face. "Wh... What?"
"Wafi, I..." I sighed heavily. It gave me a moment to choose my words before I began. "The only thing I can say for sure is that it is not your fault we got separated. Not at all. You were just a little boy searching for your parents. I understand, and I don't blame you for it. No one does. No one can." His shoulders sagged a little but I could see he wasn't satisfied. "At this point, I have questions. You're telling me something and Mich told me something else. I... I don't know what's going on anymore. My... Our parents were killed apparently, for who knows what reason. You say I was in a cottage, Mich says he found me abandoned in the forest."
"That's not true." Wafi immediately defended. "Mom and dad loved us. They would never have abandoned you."
"See?" I threw my hands up. "That's what you say. Mich says something else. You're the only one who remembers our parents. I gave up the idea of even having them a long time ago. I gave up the idea of a family. Mich was my only family up till now and... and I don't know who to trust. I don't know what to say or what to do until all my questions are answered. I have to talk to Mich. Face to face."
Wafi seemed pained. Hurt. But there was nothing else I could do except hope he understood. I needed to get the truth. Or what would satisfy me. Fill the holes in the story.
Wafi sighed. He slumped in his seat. "We need to talk to Mich."
"We do. But he's not coming back until next weekend."
"I am not waiting till next week." He turned to stare at me meaningfully. "Call him."
"No." I replied immediately. "I want him to be here when I ask him questions. This is not something you do over a phone or a screen."
There was a groan of irritation. "All this technology and we have to wait a week to get answers."
"Be patient. You've waited sixteen years, you can wait six more days."
"Seventeen."
"Don't remind me."
There was a heavy silence as the two of us went over all that had been revealed. The heaviness faded away to something awkward and I shifted uneasily as Wafi fidgeted with his shirt button.
"Uh... It's getting late. Uncle will be worried." Wafi spoke up slowly. "I should get going."
I stood up, internally relieved. "Right. Give him my regards, or whatever." I managed a genuine looking smile as he stood as well. He threw one back, more genuine than mine. He has more practice after all.
I quietly followed him to the door and held it open for him. The beer can from last night still lay desolate on the gravel as we walked to the car. I picked it up as Wafi turned around to face me. He glanced at the can before smiling again. A better one this time.
"I never did thank you for last night. So..." He shrugged and held out a hand. "Thanks."
Confusion passed through me as I looked at the offered palm before I remembered I'd told him I don't like getting hugs from strangers. "Oh. Well, I couldn't leave you out there. And I guess this makes us even for the whole nose thing, so..." I slowly spread my hands, a sheepish look on my face as I tried to hide my discomfort. "Truce... brother?"
Surprise took up residence on his face. His vision flickered from his outstretched hand to my outstretched arms before a sudden change took over him.
His face lit up like I hadn't seen before. A wide grin, happiness in his eyes. They crinkled at the edges, his gray eyes seeming to light up from within. It was breathtaking. He moved into my arms without a second thought. His hands closing tightly around my body as he pressed his face into my shoulder.
"Thank you." He whispered to me. "Thank you for coming back."
My arms wrapped around him out of habit. I let him hold me as long as he needed, his nose pressed to my shoulders, arms wrapped so tight around me I could barely breathe. I didn't like hugs but... this felt nice.
I stayed outside to watch him leave. Wafi waved from his car one last time before he zoomed away. I had a few decisions to make. It took a while for me to make up my mind. The silence helped me think. A little digging around fetched my trenchcoat and a pair of thick leggings. A twenty minute walk in fine, non-trench weather took me to the portal. Luckily, my favorite attendant was on duty.
"Hey, Maria." I called out before entering the metal detector. "Been a while."
"Fiera!" She chirped happily. The Hispanic, forty-two year old with a wide posterior waved her security wand over me as she decided to escort me over to the portal. "Where to, hun?"
"Wherever Mich is now." I sighed and turned a sheepish grin towards her. "You know how it goes."
"It's a bit cold in Europe this time of the year, sweetie. Sun's almost about to set as well." She threw my outfit a concerned look. "You're going to get sick."
I shrugged. "I won't be long. An hour or two. I'm just surprising him for dinner."
"Aww. That's sweet." She smiled as she finally retreated to the operating room. "He deserves small treats like that now and then." Thankfully she didn't comment on my lack of parcels for him.
Saying that, she set to work. I inhaled deeply as I shrugged my coat on and closed my eyes.
The portal was made by a collaboration with every element. It was ancient magic, one whose origins and technique had been lost, yet it was going strong. There was no contingency for if it failed or not but there was surprisingly strong faith in the people here that something would turn up to save the portal. I'm not one to knock someone's belief but they should prepare for the worse.
There was a soft sigh in my ear and I felt my body relax before a burning started from my feet, climbing up. This was fire. Almost immediately, my body cooled, air. The air changed into light moisture on my skin as the smell of damp earth filled my nostrils and finally, light. It bloomed behind my closed eyelids, a soft glow.
There was another sigh and the soft light disappeared, darkness taking its place. My eyes opened, yet I was unable to see. It was dark. Reaching out, I blindly searched for the doorknob I knew was there and grasped it. The door opened into a warm glow as I stepped out of the storage closet into the basement and ascended the stairs.
Soft conversation reached my ears and I pushed the door at the top open into a kitchen. Some eyes turned towards me but I knew for a fact that everyone who worked here, even the owner, was an Elementalist. I smiled at familiar faces as I closed the door behind me and walked towards the exit.
A blast of cold air hit me as I pushed the door open. The sky was a dull orange, covered with clouds as usual and I smelt the signs of rain. Yay.
The dreary gray alley led into a dreary gray path filled with people in dreary dark clothes and dreary dark moods. Gas-guzzling behemoths they called taxies lumbered past and I sighed as I headed right to begin a cold walk to our apartment.
My heart seemed to squeeze in my chest at the thought of Mich lying to me. I couldn't fathom the possibility that he knew my parents and maybe what had happened to them. There was another possibility. One that terrified and if it turned out to be true... I... I don't know what I would do but Wafi would certainly kill him.
The lobby was a bit warm. I involuntarily uncrossed my arms as I headed to the elevator. The guard behind the desk didn't say a word as I stepped in. But the lift attendant did.
"Floor?" He spoke rather nasally.
"Fourteen." I replied.
He pressed the button for me. Such a terrifyingly taxing job.
Our apartment was 14B. I turned to the right and pulled out the key to unlock the door. As expected, it was silent inside apart from the soft snores emanating from one room in particular.
The door was ajar, the floor strewn with work clothes. A jacket on the chair, the shirt on the dresser, the tie dangling from the mirror, a sock visible from an upturned shoe. And Mich tangled in his sheets wearing only boxers. My heart twisted once more. They do say ignorance is bliss but I'd rather get the answers before Wafi.
Picking my way across the room, I sat down on the edge of his bed and gently shook him. "Mich." I spoke softly. "Mich, wake up."
His snores stopped and he groaned into the sheets, his head turning up to squint at me through a sleepy, hooded gaze. "Fiera?" He mumbled. "What are you doing here?"
I pulled my arm back to place it across my chest. Mich noticed the gesture and his brows furrowed as some of the sleep cleared from his eyes. He struggled with the sheets for a moment before he sat straight up and tugged on a shirt which had been buried somewhere in the depths of the bed.
"Fiera?" He repeated, the shirt on. Concern strong in his expression. "Why are you here? What's wrong?"
I inhaled softly, my mind blank as to an opening before blurting out, "Wafi and I made up." My voice was carefully neutral.
His brow cleared, happiness passed through his eyes. "That's good! That's great! I can't believe it..." He paused as he noticed my unchanged stance. "But..."
I continued. "He told me something." I looked away from my guardian's searching gaze. "Something that... we need to talk."
"About?" A slight tremor. He was worried.
"How you found me. Wafi says we lived in a hidden cottage. A cottage no one can find. You say you found me abandoned in the forest. Wafi also said my parents may be dead but they certainly didn't abandon me. He feels guilty he abandoned me because he left me alone to search for our parents."
I paused to close my eyes, still not looking at Mich. "Have you been lying to me all these years?"
No reply. I didn't even hear breathing. A few moments went by like this before I opened my eyes to make sure he was still there. He was there, but he seemed like a statue. The color had rushed out of his face. He seemed gaunt. His eyes haunted and breathing shallow. I hadn't seen this look on him before.
"Mich?" I spoke softly. "Are you okay?" I was tempted to reach out. My fists clenched as I fought the urge.
He blinked, breaking the spell as he looked away and closed his eyes. "Fiera... I... I don't know what to tell you." His tone was one of pain, sorrow. It twisted within me.
But I needed answers. Keeping my voice strong, I continued. "Mich. Have you, or have you not been lying to me my whole life?"
"Fiera... don't make me do this, please. You're like my daughter, I lo-"
"Mich, answer me."
He pressed his lips together, his eyes squeezing tighter as he nodded once, twice.
I felt a deep tug, one in my gut. "Why?" I involuntarily whispered back. "Who are you? What have you kept from me all these years?"
"I had to keep you safe." His voice sounded choked, like he was on the brink of tears. "They were searching for you. They still are. It's why we always move. It's why I lied."
I frowned. Moved? "Who? Who am I running from? You always said it was your job." So many lies.
"I can do my work from my own room." His hands clenched in the sheets. "I had to move." His eyes suddenly opened as his head jerked up. An urgency in in his face for me to understand. No, desperation. "I had to keep you safe. You are my goddaughter."
God... daughter?
Despite the tense situation, I scoffed. My body relaxed by a fraction as I leaned back on the bedstead and rolled my eyes. "So, you're my godfather? Right. You need to know my parents for that."
Mich finally looked up at me. There was so much pain in his eyes, so much sadness. "I did know them, Fiera. I was there to help when you and Wafi were born. I was the witness, the only one, at your parents' wedding. I helped them build and hide that cottage. I... I was the reason they found each other."
My jaw went slack, my breath shallow. Mich? "But... But my entire life... you said you-that you didn't know them. Why... Why have you lied to me so much?"
"I had no choice, Fiera." He continued, shifting closer to me. The desperation for me to understand his past actions filled his eyes. "I had to keep you safe. But it's... it's my fault you and Wafi got separated."
"H-how? How are you responsible for everything that's going on in my life right now?" I could feel a lump form in my throat. This was too much.
"I was still reeling from my own child's death and Mira's departure. I thought I could take you in and raise you away from here and-"
"Keep me safe." I snapped, completing his sentence. My oscillation between confusion and anger was at its angriest arc right now. "I get it. But from what?!"
Mich flinched at my raised voice once more and shied away from me slightly. My anger filled me. It gave me an unknown energy, a need to vent it all out. I bounced up and started to pace the room. My hands clenched and unclench as he decided to continue.
"Fiera, I could have dropped you off at the Water Regent's palace so you could grow up with your own kin. Bu-"
I screeched to a halt as my head whipped towards him still pathetically pleading me to understand on the bed. "Water?!" I gasped. "I'm Fire, Mich! Wafi is Fire! Why Water?!"
Mich seemed to shrink, the features finally distorting to something akin to panic and realisation started to settle in me. A cold started to spread from my joints. My knees went weak and I stumbled away from the bed to lean on the wall. My mind was going blank as I slid down it. This was not possible. This was... This was... I was...
"Fiera?" Mich interrupted my thoughts, my head blankly turning up to look at him. He clambered clumsily off the bed, the lights in the room hitting his tear trails. "Are you... Stupid question. Fiera?" He reached out to me.
As I watching his hand approach me to check if I was okay, there was a flash of disgust and before I knew it, I'd leapt up onto my feet and was stepping back from him, towards the door. "No." I whispered. "No. Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I don't know you... you're just a liar."
His hand rose to his chest as if I'd shot him. His face crumpled as a few more tears fell down his face. "Fiera..." He choked out. "You're like my daughter. Please. Just hear me out."
"WHY?!" I screamed. I hated to see him flinch, but my anger controlled me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to let it all out. "WHY SHOULD I?! YOU KEEP SAYING THAT YOU WANTED TO PROTECT BUT YOU KEEP REFUSING TO TELL ME WHAT FROM OR WHY!!" I stopped to take a deep breath. "All... All you've told me is that you knew my parents, you helped them get together. You helped them with everything!"
My voice dropped once more. I was begging now. "Just... something, Mich. Tell me something that... that wasn't a lie. That hasn't changed."
Mich straightened slightly. Probably saw a chance to restore himself a bit in my eyes. I don't know. I apparently don't know the man standing in front of me.
"Fiera..." He stepped off the bed towards me. "I never lied about myself. I was married. Happily. My wife had a miscarriage. We divorced." He closed the distance a little further. "It had only been six months or so since you'd been born. I would visit as much as I could because you... you were and always will be the best thing in my life.
"My love for you, Fiera." He was very close now. He reached out. "I still love you like my daughter. You have been nothing less to me than that. You will always be my own daughter, even if you decide not to consider me your guardian anymore."
I could feel the lump grow. I swallowed but it was too late. My tears spilled over and I felt my shoulders shake as my head bent over. My tears spilled warm down my face, collected on the tip of my nose before they fell to the floor.
Mich's hand was warm on my shoulder as he moved closer to me. My head rested on his chest once more, like it had many times before as I cried. My hands were still clenched by my side as my anger refused to simmer down. It flared up once more as my hands made a weak attempt to push me away.
Even that made Mich step away and give me space.
I used the separation to wipe my eyes sloppily and clear my vision. Mich still had his hand outstretched towards me. I shook my head and stepped back. Still shaking my head, I turned around and ran towards the door. My hand snatched out to snap up my coat as I opened and slammed the door behind me, cutting off Mich saying my name as a last plea.
The lift was still on the floor, luckily, so I quickly barged in. The attendant's eyes widened at my tear streaked face and I snapped at him to head to the ground floor. I hurriedly wiped my face as best as I could and shrugged on my coat before I stepped back out. The security guard didn't even look up again. I think he was snoozing.
The sun had set. The cold winds from who-knows-where were rustled through the alleys and hit whatever exposed skin I had. My breath frosted in front of me and I subconsciously turned on my aura right as a lady passed by.
She gasped at the sudden flare of heat from me but I barely registered it as I warmed up. The restaurant came into view and I stepped into the side alley where the exit would be— right as I heard a car screech to a stop right in front of the restaurant.
I pushed the back door open. The gust of cold air I let in turned eyes towards me and I managed a smile as I stepped through. Some smiled back, some watched me with concern. Did I still have marks on my face?
"Fiera?" I heard a voice from the right, turning my head to see Sal.
A tall man with light brown colored skin and a hefty beard. He owned the place. Mohammed Salim 'Sal' Hamid, an Earth user and a great cook. I dredged up another smile for him as his big frame approached me. He had a fondness of pulling my cheeks.
"Hey, Sal." I greeted. "I'd stay and chat but I really have to get back. My friends are waiting for me."
"Not here to chat." He shrugged easily as he leaned against a counter. His hands moved to his pockets. "Mich told me to stall you leaving for him."
I scowled and started to open my mouth to mess him up only to be cut off by another cold blast of air. My words were preceded by the door bursting open as Mich wildly looking around. His eyes locked onto mine and my scowl deepened.
"Okay, bye." Sal said hurriedly as he spotted my expression and strode away.
I twisted on my heel and increased my pace towards the basement. Couldn't go too fast with hustle of the people already working there. But Mich caught up to me right as I reached the bottom of the stairs. His hand landed on my shoulder as he twisted me around.
In the dim light, I saw his features were contorted into worry. "Fiera, give me a-"
"No." I snapped, not waiting for him to complete. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. Next time you try to touch me, I will burn your hand off."
Mich gave an exasperated sigh but the agony in his eyes gave away his true feelings. "Fiera, give me a chanc-"
"A chance?!" I cut him off, my voice rising. "You had many chances! Seventeen years worth of them! I don't want to be near you right now, don't you get it?! You've lied to me my entire life, and you refuse to tell me why!" His eyes flickered to the ceiling and back to me. I attempted to lower my voice.
"I want my own space to think. I'd prefer it if you don't follow me or call anyone else to stall me. I'm going home and I'm not going to answer my phone. Goodbye, Mich."