||Pius||
After taking a quick shower I step out of it and wrap a towel around my waist. I take another one to dry my hair. I asses myself in the mirror, taking in my terror-like appearance.
What are you doing? Something chimes in.
Do you want history to repeat itself again?
Isn't that how it happened? The thing that has been haunting you?
Why do you even care...?
"Stooopppp!" I yell, punching at the mirror against the wall, shattering it in the process, leaving a splinting noise echoing throughout the bathroom, with glass scattered all over the floor.
It's one way to burst my bubble and remind me of my fucked up past.
I take in a baited breath and look down at my hand. It's bloody and bruised. My knuckles are creased and bleeding. I pick up the towel that fell down on the floor during my emotional tantrum, to wipe away the blood. I see myself from the peripheral view from the remaining portion of the mirror still remain attached to the whitely painted wall. I look like a mess. My eyes are blotchy and I have bags under them like a sleep-deprive lunatic, which in fact I really am.
I didn't sleep in the last 24 hours.
Why?
Do I even know the reason?
Yes, you do you dickwad, that irritating inner voice yells from behind my mind.
It's time to man-up and face your emotions, it adds.
Face what?
Emotions?
I release a humorless chuckle, erupting through my closed mouth, splattering spit all over the broken half of the mirror.
I don't know why I feel like this? Like my world has been shattered into million pieces? Like everything just doesn't make sense anymore.
I can't deal with this no more. I hate being in pain, and not just any but emotional pain. Why? Because it causes under-surfaced emotional turmoil to suffice and I don't want that shit weighing me down.
I have been having an internal brawl with myself.
About what?
My upcoming house party.
Why? What's there to celebrate? that irritating inner voice questions.
I think you might have an idea. But it's not more of a party but a way of burying my emotional trouble showing that bitch that I don't need her.
She betrayed me.
How?
I kick at the soft-cushioned black chair next to me against the opposite wall, breaking it into splinters, frustrated. I stagger backwards, gasping.
A lone stray tear runs down my cheek.
I wipe it away quickly with the back of my hand.
I don't like this. She breaks me. She makes me feel things I don't want to feel. She keeps breaking my walls slowly without even lifting a hand or putting in effort. I hate being weak, because weak means vulnerable and vulnerable means pity and that's one thing I ain't going to take from no one.
I need to get her out of my head. My life. She needs to vanquish otherwise my life will turn into a complete carbon copy of what it used to be.
I love my life. Just the way it is.
I need her gone.
And there is only one way to do that.
DRINK.
Like shit load and forget all the shit that's in my life. Even if it means history repeating itself.
Because that's how it happened.
At a party in my drunken stupor.
Fuck. Consequences.
Fuck. Everything.
Fuck. Her.
My name is Pius Starke. I'm Power and I'm triumphant.
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One hour and seventeen minutes later I'm completely wasted, flanked by four girls on a couch. The party is at my place. It's a good thing Xavier is crashing with my grandparents meaning I don't have to worry about him.
Xander was against the whole party thing when he found out. He said something about being preoccupied with stuff whatever that even meant, meaning he will not come mess all this fun up.
Currently, my house is filled with horny youngsters to full capacity. Music blasting through the rooftop. Bodies swaying and moving in tune with the beats. Couples stuck against each other in heavy make out sessions. The reek of heavy alcohol and smoke wafting throughout the house with red buzz cups all over. Everyone is separated into groups. There are those playing poker, spin the bottle. There is not even enough space to pass around the house. It's a hustle to walk around because everywhere you look it's just school idiots drinking their buttholes out.
Seems like everyone is enjoying their Saturday.
I rest my head against the couch and take in a huge breathe, to will myself not to lose my mind from the nonstop blubbing in my ears. My head is already pounding hard and having to hear the bullshit about the lives of the bitches by my side makes my inside coil into something I don't even know.
The girls suddenly stop talking, which is weird, because the one who goes by the name Thresh, Tessa or whatever never shuts up. She is so desperate to get laid. She has been throwing herself at me and it's only me avoiding her like a god-forbidden plague. When I said in the beginning that the guy between my legs has earned a reputation, I wasn't lying.
I open my eyes to check what has halt their insistence blubbing just to be smack by the presence of the psychotic bitch otherwise known as Natasha Yates. They don't even waste a minute around me, as they hastily scamper away without her even having to say anything because they know full well how things will end if they even linger for the slightest second.
I sigh and slump down the couch.
Someone shoot me dead. Please?
The other students have noticed her presence and are eying us in pure curiosity, whispering, and drinking at the same time. The music is still unperturbedly loud and banging.
"What do you think you were doing?" Natasha raises her voice, with her hips cocked out to the side in her signature stance.
"I'm... I'm n-not into your bullshit today, so just fuck out of my sight." I slur, finding it hard to enunciate the words correctly, staggering into an upright position. I don't need her bullshit right now. I don't need anyone's bullshit. I just want to be alone. I just want...
Her.
I move through the drunken teenage high school schlock's, looking for a way out.
I see Natasha following me out of the corner of my eyes.
I turn around slowly, sending her my famous glare that I'm sure can melt an ice sculpture if it were in close proximity. Natasha can be bitchy and what-what but she knows that look and what follows it, so she cowers back.
"Don't even think about... about follo...ing me." I retort and start moving myself on my wobble-y legs, zig-zagging out of wasted kids, looking for the door to exit this fucken house. There are two idiots making out, standing in my way.
I clear my throat.
They slowly retract from each other to look at the person that ruin their five-seconds-of-heaven.
I lazily raise an eyebrow, cocking my head to the side, which turns out to be a lot of effort in my boozy state.
They hastily scurry out and away from my sight.
I mumble a thank you which I'm sure they didn't even hear and push the door open, waltzing into the open air, which bombards my drunken state with freshness. I start working, alongside the front lawn and out of the yard.
I don't know where I'm going, I just know I'm going somewhere. Some place where I'll not have to think about her. Where my ratchet heart will not ache like this and just come back to some humanly controllable normalcy.
I don't know why her being pregnant hurt so much but it does. And not wanting to admit that fact won't change anything. It's just the rotten truth and I don't like it. I don't want to care about any shit going on in her life. I don't want to care about anyone because caring means pain.
I don't know how long I have been walking but I find myself, staggering alongside the Sea Bridge built into the ocean by few meters, as a tourist attraction and what-what.
I lean against the ridges and close my eyes, calming my mind, taking in the peaceful silence of the night, just the sound of waves splashing. Cool breeze conditioning and fanning my face. Freeing my dark soul from all and every shit that scalds it into abyssal darkness.
In the wave-splashing filled silence, I hear a sniffling sound like someone crying. I try to ignore it but I hear it again.
And again.
And again.
Suddenly, a face flashes through mind.
Valeria?
I immediately open my eyes, swirling my head in a rotational motion, searching for the source the noise came from.
And then I see something.
I'm stunned by the sight far ahead of me.
I move myself along the rail to get a better view of what it is but am hit by the familiar strawberry cologne, and I immediately know it's her before I even get a glimpse of the person. That's one smell that's glued to my senses always and...
Not forever?
My heart instantaneously goes into rapid over lapse and starts thumping against my rips, thunderously.
What the hell is she doing?
Seeing her balancing herself on top of the railings makes my sanity go into an overdrive and I think my drunken stupefaction is forthwith deemed invalid and forgotten.
Please let it not be what I think it is. But what else can she be doing standing on a bridge railing with hands stretched out as if willing herself to fly?
As if she felt my presence, she looks back.
As her eyes connect with mine, they widen instinctively.
My heart feels like it's going to jump out anytime because of the delirious state it's in now. Its pounding so hard, I'm sure I can feel the heartbeat in my ears.
I close my eyes and breathe in, calming my ever escalating heart to take a beat, but it doesn't. I open my eyes and slowly motion in her direction, with an arm outstretch. "Please don't Valeria. Please. Think about—"
"What's there to think about?" she cuts me off, shaking her head with tears streaming down her face. "It's done. I'm done. I'm sorry."
And with that she releases herself free falling into the angry sea, landing into the ocean with a loud splaassshh!
"Valeria! Noooooooo!" I scream and leap forward.
I come to a standstill at the railing she was standing on a few seconds ago, panting.
I hold onto the ridges with both hands for balance, because my mind is fuzzy.
My vision is blurry.
She is gone?
"Oh, no!"
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A/N: Thanks for reading. Please don't forget to VOTE, comment and share.
Until next time.
-Stephen