Copyright © 2011 sexy_love_panda
All RIGHTS RESERVED
Silver Bullets
Fate is a universal principle.
Many people believe in fate and destiny, accepting that destiny could have made them 'accidentally' bump into their 'one true love'. But maybe, just maybe, and I'm going on a limb here, it was just a big fat coincidence.
Obviously I'm not one of those people, but my oh-so-fabulous grandmother is and she accepts fate like it's the explanation for life. "Oh John died, well that must have been his destiny. What can you do?" That was my grandmother for you, no remorse. She just goes with the flow and accepts everything 'fate' throws at her. So when I was told I was being sent away to a 'special' school for people like me, you can guess how that went.
"People like me? What is that supposed to mean? Is there something wrong with me?" I ranted, pacing in front my mother. We had been going on since morning, we were both utterly exhausted. I stared at my mom's warn out face, the years have not been good to her. Her light brown eyes had been burn out and consumed be the darkness. Her brown was done in a tight bun making her look much older then she was. Her high cheek bones had cave in and sadness and agony was written all over her face, wrinkles and the wrinkle in the wrinkle had a grueling and excruciating tragic tale to tell. How could someone so young, look so old? Her body was different story, her baggy clothes hung on her bony like body. It was like a part of her died and all she could do was hang off the little life she had left.
"Well honey, people that need special help," My mom replied, trying to defuse the situation. Yeah like saying I needed special help was so much better. "I mean people with issues," - slap me in the face why won't you! -"People with anger issues, honey."
My mom wanted to send me to a place with deranged teenagers? In my opinion, a place for angered teenagers wasn't the brightest idea. I mean having adolescents with anger issues in one area, all equally pissed, was bound to be a disaster. Was I the only one that saw the logic in this?
"Honey, it will only be for a little while," my mom explained, attempting to calm me down. She was all ways this gentle, I wish she would get mad at me once in a while. The look of disappointment drove me insane.
"A little while?" I said in total disbelief.
"Yes, just until you get better, that's all."
"But there's nothing WRONG with me!" I roared. I hated how people kept telling me to 'get better' when there was obviously nothing wrong with me. My grandmother that chose that moment to walk into the game room and stand be my mother, scowling at me like always.
"Raven Conner! Don't you EVER speak to your mother that way." She reprimanded, wagging her finger at me in disapproval. I looked at her, she shook her golden blond hair at me and not one wrinkle dared to live on her smooth skin her skin. Her brown eyes shone with wisdom glared back at me. I felt ashamed and angry with myself; lately I had been getting way out of line. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and counted to ten so I could calm myself.
"Mom please reconsider, I'll get better. I-I-I won't scream or slam the doors when I'm angry. I'll stop getting into fights with my classmates, I promise." I said sincerely. "Mom please, just don't send me away to a boarding school." I got teary-eyed and begged her with my sad, betrayed puppy eyes.
I knew it was a low blow; she couldn't resist my puppy eyes. I was pretty sure it was working, but before she could give in my grandmother stepped in, knowing all too well that my mother adored me and didn't want me to go. The whole thing had been her idea and we both knew it.
"No, sorry but you're still going," my grandmother said, not the least bit sorry. "It's your destiny." She declared those three words as if they were a good enough excuse for ruining my life. My eyes narrowed at my grandmother as a rush of rage ran through me and I had a sudden thought to lunge at her. I stood there narrowing my eyes at her, taking every aspect of her like i did when she came to temporarily live with us. After my father died she came to be a supportive mother to her daughter and granddaughter. But the truth was she was out to get me, she never liked me. I could read her disgust as I ate my food or washed TV. Everything I did was revolting so I stopped being the nice little granddaughter and regarded her with the same looks. We were in a war behind my mothers back. Ignoring my previous thoughts and tamping down the anger, I looked to my mom.
"Mom?" I said pretending to be oblivious to my grandmother. We didn't exactly meet eye-to-eye on anything. My mother closed her eyes, seeming to bask in the peace of the temporary escape. I knew she was tired of the fighting and arguing, but I still selfishly wished she would allow me to stay. She turned to walk away and for the first time in a really long time I felt hopeless.
"You are going Raven, end of discussion." She whispered and walked away. There was a long pause after she left. I stood there in disbelief, staring at my mother's retreating back before turning to glare at my grandmother's over-joyed face.
"Better start packing Raven, you have a long journey ahead of you." My know-it-all grandmother said, grinning. I knew deep down that I shouldn't be mad at her, that she was wiser and older, but I was still angry. I stomped all the way to my room feeling like the biggest brat in the world. I slammed my door and for a second leaned on it for support. My grandmother's words mocked me "better start packing, cause your leaving!" I turned around and I yanked open my drawers and started to pack, muttering curses under my breath. My mom briefly came in and handed me a phone; she couldn't even look me in the eye.
"Call your friends and say goodbye, we're leaving early in the morning." She left without another word. This wasn't sudden we had been having these min-arguments leading up to today.
I stared at the phone in my hands. Who could I call? Who would care that I was leaving? Lana? No, she hated me for almost getting her in jail. Jake? No, he hated me too. Truth was I had no real friends. They all ditched me when I started to become trouble. Even Lance, and we were inseparable - best friends since he saved me from Robin McCane in second grade.
Robin was the boss, what he said was the law and whoever messed with him... well, let's just say no one messed with him. He loved school because there he was the big Kahuna, the king, and unfortunately I was his favorite subject. Laying on my bed I couldn't help but take a trip down memory lane.
"EWWWW! Look at that ugly Raven." Robin said, pointing his finger at me with pure disgust. Everyone looked and started to laugh. I shrunk back and buried my head deeper into my book.
I was sitting at the corner or the sandbox, which wasn't helping my case. No one played in the sandbox any more, only babies do. It was a perfect place for an outcast who doesn't want to be found. I guess that day hadn't been my lucky day.
"Raven, hey Raven! Where are you from - ugly-ville?" More laughter, I ignored them. "Even your name sounds ugly! What kind of name is Raven, huh?" Robin sneered. I tried to continue ignoring them, I really did, but sometimes I couldn't help but believe what they said. I really hated recess, there's never a teacher when you needed one. Robin started to make crow noises with my classmates following suit. The noise was painful to my ears, and, only wishing to hide, I remembered closing my eyes.
I didn't see a boy approach and with his two small hands, touched my shoulder before giving me a firm push. Suddenly I was on the floor covered in mud and my eyes wide in surprise. I had landed on dirty, cold, disgusting mud. I should have seen it coming; how could I have not seen the mud pile next to the sandbox?
This time I couldn't ignore them. My new book was ruined, I was cold and alone and so I did what any six year old would do. I started to cry. No one helped me up, they just stood there laughing and Robin was probably right just then. I probably did look ugly with all the snot and salty tears running down my face and making clear streaks down my 'mud mask'. I sat there feeling hopeless, and destroyed.
That was about the time a hand extended towards me. I stared at it for a moment before slowly lifting my eyes to the hand's forearm, shoulder, and finally the face of my savior. The 'trail' led to a gray eyed boy looking down at me. He had glossy black hair, and was as skinny as a stick. When I didn't take his hand he reached down and took mine. He pulled me up gently. By now the laughter had stopped, our audience just gaped at the mystery boy. No one helps the ugly girl, they could get cooties, or worse - get on Robin's bad side. The crowd parted as we walked by, and I was taken to the nurse and given extra clothes courtesy of Miss. K.
As I changed in the bathroom I wondered who the gray eyed boy was. Maybe he was new? I guess it didn't matter, once he found out who I was he wouldn't be so nice.
I took off my shirt and went over to the sink. I grabbed the stump that was under the sink and stood on it. I wished there wasn't a mirror there, so I wouldn't need to look at the ugly person staring back at me.
I was plain, plain ugly, that is. I looked into my muck colored eyes searching for something. At least my eyes matched my tarnish skin. Spinning the knob on the sink I began to wash away the dirt. When I was done I grabbed the over-sized shirt that reached below my knees and put on sweat-pants as well.
I pulled at the door handle and went out only to be greeted with pity. Miss. K smiled weakly, for she knew it was hopeless to ask how I got all dirty or why I was crying. I wouldn't say anything, or more accurately, I couldn't say anything. She came up to me and hugged me. The comfort was empty but at least I got a lollipop.
I walked out of the nurse's office sucking on the luscious lollipop, slightly cheered now that recess was over. The gray eyed boy was waiting outside the nurse's office, and boy was I surprised!
"My name is Lance," he introduced himself, smiling. "We are going to be best friends." I stood there shocked and then slowly began to smile. Looking at him up close he had gold specks in his eyes, and I didn't notice his tan skin before. I wish I had tan skin; I was paler than paper.
"Best friends forever," I stated.
We shook on it and since then we've been inseparable, until now. Until he left me.
He didn't really leave you, a small voice in my head said. Lance had been sent to his grandfather's place for some unknown reason. He had called me every night until one day he just stopped. I got his grandfather's phone number, that's how bad my obsession to hold on to our friendship had become - I was left to harass an old man.
I was convinced that Lance had gotten hurt or something horrible had happened. He would never just 'forget to call me' like his parents claimed! His grandfather said he was sick, so I called and begged to just speak to him until even his grandfather stopped answering the phone. Lance had forgotten about me, and it wasn't like I could just jump on a plane and go to California.
I didn't know why I didn't stop. Sometimes I wish I had just given up, all the pain wasn't worth it. I wish he'd never called me to begin with, it could have saved me many sleepless nights and the heartache. But being the naïve best friend I still harbored a bit of hope, calling and leaving embarrassing voicemails. He still didn't call, but it didn't take long for him to return my calls after I threatened to leave my small town and find him. I'll give him credit, that coward was smart. When he called he made sure I would still be in school, so he would go straight to voicemail instead of actually having to talk to me.
"Raven, I don't want you calling me or my grandfather anymore. Just-just leave me alone, okay? I mean I thought you would get the hint, I don't want to be your friend anymore. I just want to be left alone." There was a long pause before he really reeled in the big one. "Goodbye Ray, I don't want to see you ever again, that's why I'm not coming back. You're just too weird Ray. I mean it feels like you're my stalker or something. I mean, don't you have a life?" Another long pause. "I hear you've gotten in all sorts of trouble. What the heck Ray? What's going on? They say you're some kind of bully? I don't want a friend like that and I know that this isn't you Ray... Why don't you get yourself together? Goodbye Raven," He hung up after that.
When I got his message I cried, okay maybe that was an understatement. I had sobbed, screamed, wailed, wept even, as if I was mourning the dead - I had been heartbroken, and still was. You really can't just swallow a pill and be cured, no, life was cruel, there was just no cure for a heart ache.
I wanted to call him, but I didn't. In some freaky way Lance had saved my life. So I respected his wishes by not calling him back. Still, without him, I would have never gotten through elementary and middle school so how was I supposed to get through high school? I was drained to the last drop and thrown away like a rag doll.
When school came around in September, I wasn't the shy, nerdy, Raven anymore, no... I was don't-mess-with-me-Raven. Luckily Robin had also left school because I knew with him around I would have been forced back to square one.
Sadly, I had lost everything because I couldn't control my anger issues. It didn't take much for me to lash out nowadays. For example yesterday at school some Jock bumped into me and I punched him in the jaw. He was out for three hours, not that I'm bragging. I still think it was a huge mistake, I mean it hurt me more then it hurt him. My hand throbbed with pain and no one took that into consideration!
There-forth I was out of control, and soon I had became too 'dangerous' to hang out with. My old friends either abandoned me or were forbidden to hang out with me. My mom said it wasn't my fault but every finger pointed back at me. I started the fights, I broke into cop's houses for fun, I vandalized property; I was a bad apple and nobody wants a bad apple. Except, of course, other bad apples and those bad apples eventually became my friends. Which is harder them it seems must of them had unbelievable trust issues.
Candy the redhead was an alcoholic and a high school drop out, Shane was a thief and my closest friend since Lance was Alexander, and he was a street fighter. It seemed I was better off by myself, but still they stood by me when nobody else did and I respected that.
I sighed, I was exhausted. Re-living my past took immense energy. I got my phone and called Candy's place. Candy, Shane and Alexander all lived together, but Candy was more likely not to pick up her phone. It was easier to say I was leaving instead of explaining why when I barely knew myself. Her phone rang three times before it went to voicemail.
"Candy, sup girl um... just calling to say goodbye, I have to leave. I don't know where but my mom's sending me off somewhere. Uh...tell the guys I said bye. Okay, uh...call me?" I silently prayed she wouldn't. I dropped the phone on the floor, and laid on my soft bed. Oh sweet paradise. I closed my eyes, letting all my troubles fly away.
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I want to thanks *awesomx_writers47* for the outstanding, book trailer! If you have time check it out! And tell me what you think =D