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"Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with a lie" – unknown
My dad said that he killed those women because he had no choice. What gives him the right to play god by taking their lives?
"Look you got to give her some answers," Levi coaxed. "You already confessed that you killed them, there isn't anything now stopping you from being honest with your daughter now.
"
"I said I will." Daxton mused, "Be a little patient, my friend, I want to enjoy my visit with my daughter."
Is this his way of maintaining control?
Online it says that serial killers kill to control and dominate their victims.
Is this what the woman saw before they were killed?
----This insatiable thirst to control every moment.
-----The sadistic desire to prolong his victims suffering
Even now, he still wants to be the one controlling the cards.
I reached for Levi's hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. We didn't want to rush Daxton especially not knowing how jail has affected him.
Has he had any psychological consequences of long term solitary confinement?
He's been in isolation for so long that he's lost meaningful social contact.
I would feel rage if I was stuck in a small room for an extended period of time. ----like those poor whales they have in small aquarium tanks at Sea World. The whales bang their heads into the tank walls and bite on steel gates. In the wild they are so use to swimming 100s of miles a day but in these small tanks they just swim in endless circles.
There is nothing exciting about that.
There's nothing new and stimulating about the same routine over and over again.
Daxton had to be a broken man.
Jail breaks people.
Daxton leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Your boyfriend sounds like a cop, Maisie."
"He's an officer."
"Hmm," He frowned with disgust. "I'll answer any question you may have Maisie but you will not like my answers."
I know.
I know I'll hear things that I won't like but it's better than having no closure at all.
I needed this.
I needed to understand.
"---You said you had no choice. Why did you kill those women then?"
"Your mother and I were struggling financially," he began. "I worked in telemarketing and it simply wasn't paying our bills anymore so I took a second job. I became a hired assassin. Mostly I was hired to take out competition for drug dealers." There was a long pause. "I had to protect my identity, Maisie. The women I killed....one way or the other witnessed something they shouldn't have. I had no choice but to take them out."
The women died, not because they did something wrong, but because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I felt sick.
Good people ended up dying because they saw something they shouldn't have.
They were innocent bystanders and my father took them out.
"They didn't stand a chance," I spat out, instantly angry. "You killed innocent people!"
Would it have been easier to forgive Daxton had the women deserved what happened to them? Maybe. That's because I was raised around the just world hypothesis---idea that people deserve what happens to them.
I've been victim-blamed before.
I know how that feels.
People make bad choices. It doesn't mean that there life matters any less.
These women were as innocent as they come.
"I made a bad decision, Maisie," Daxton agreed. "I know that and that is why I'm okay with being locked up."
He's accepted responsibility for his actions.
I glanced over at Levi whose face was stoic and my heart ached. I was deeply embarrassed that he had to sit through this.
I was greatly embarrassed that this man sitting across from me was my father.
When Levi noticed me staring at him, a hesitant smile spread across his lips in a thin line. "Go on," he prompted with a nod. "What else do you need to ask him?"
Daxton looked at me with an apologetic frown. "I've apologized in court many times now."
"---Your apology won't bring them back."
**
"There you are," Levi approached me as I leaned against the wall outside of the visitors' room.
"Here I am," I said in a monotone voice as I pushed off the wall.
"I'd ask you how you're doing but I already know by the look on your face."
"I'll be fine," I gathered a handful of his shirt in my fist and pulled him towards me. I kissed his cheek.
Levi grabbed both of my wrists and pulled them to either side of my body. "Have you thought about what you want to do now? Where do you and your dad stand?"
"I want a relationship." I was almost embarrassed to admit. "I don't have much family left, Levi." I was tired of feeling alone.
"Is he someone you want to surround yourself with though?"
"I can't exactly surround myself with him 1,100.6 miles away," I gave a short laugh. "We'll talk to each other on the phone when we can." We'll find a way to work something out.
"I was worried you'd want to move back to Dallas." Levi said, releasing my wrists.
"Why?' I chuckled. "You worry too much, Levingston, I lived in Dallas for 3 years. Wake Forest has been my home for much longer."
"Good," Levi guided me backwards so my back was pressed up against the wall. He trapped me against the wall, both hands on either side of my head.
I stood on tiptoe, pressing my lips against his. "Someone seems eager to go back to Grandma Mary, Anne's."
"I still have my own questions I need answered, Maisie Brooks." His expression was suddenly serious, I could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes "One minute your practically begging for me and then the next thing I know you walked out on me."
"---Maybe I want to wait and experience that whole, "I'll know when it's the right time," thing." I said, running my hands down his arms.
"That doesn't sound like you one bit."
"You're not the only one evolving, mister." I said. "Maybe you should rethink how you're influencing me. -----Unless you want nothing to ever happen."
"I wouldn't want that." He pressed his chest against mine then flicked the strap of my spaghetti tank, causing it to hang off my shoulder. There was a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. He kissed my neck where it met my shoulder, sending shivers dancing down to my toes.
"Mmm," I closed my eyes and let a quiet moan escape my lips.
This man.....
The warmth from his breath and lips sent shivers down my back.
"Maisie," a voice called, clearing their throat.
My eyes shot open and I looked over Levi's shoulder to see my dad standing by the door entrance. A guard stood beside him, a hand securely on his shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked, hopeful.
"I think so."
"Wonderful," my dad smiled at me. "Should I expect to see the boyfriend as well?"
Levi looked over his shoulder, he shot my father a dry look. "Where she goes, I go."
"Be nice," I told Levi.
His hatred for my father was very evident.
I ducked underneath Levi's arms and approached my dad. The guards muscle tensed as I stopped in front of them. "Can I hug him?" I asked. "Is that alright?"
"Maisie, I don't think that's a good idea." Levi warned.
I ignored him and waited for the guard to respond.
"She's my kid," my dad told the guard, muttering the same words he said when I was 3 as he was being taken away.
**
It was a nice couple of days in Dallas. It was a short stay but it was nice to visit my dad and be one of those tourist couples visiting the city.
It ended badly when I decided to ignore Levi's warnings about visiting my dad alone.
"God Levi, just yell at me already!" I shrieked, as we walked through the doors into our townhouse.
Immaturely, Levi was giving me the silent treatment. He was quiet on the plane and he was quiet on the taxi ride home.
Levi settled our luggage on the couch in the living room and whirled around to face me. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something but then closed it shut.
"I didn't think visiting him alone was such a big deal!" I went to visit my dad alone on the last two days of our trip without letting him know. He thought I went out with Carmen.
"He's dangerous, Maisie."
"He's also my dad!" I arched my brow. "—He wouldn't hurt me..."
Levi cuffed his face with his hands and sunk down on the couch. "I don't trust him. There's something about that man is off."
"He has been in jail for nearly a decade, Levi. Of course he seems a little off. I'd be socially awkward to if I was living alone in a 6 by 8 cell." Daxton doesn't have a cellmate because he is a known serial killer in the jail. They say it's for his protection but he believes that the warden is more concerned about everyone else's safety. ----Can you blame her?
He says he is in his cell 23 hours of the day with just one hour of recreation time. He's put in a separate cell outside during his free time.
"Can we move past this, Levi? If it makes you feel better you can even punish me.---Put me over your knee and spank me a few times."
"No," he said.
I put my hands on my hip, "Grow some balls, Levingston. Get over yourself."
Levi stood up to leave the room but stopped midway. He said over his shoulder, "I don't want you to get hurt. "
"---I'm perfectly safe," I wrinkled my nose. "You don't need to worry about me."
"I'll always worry about you."
I rolled my eyes and walked up behind him. I jumped on his back, wrapping my legs around his waist. I kissed his neck and nestled my face into his neck. "Trust me, Levingston."
Levi gripped my thighs and said in a hushed voice, "I don't trust other people with you."
I know my dad is a serial killer but he's in Dallas. Levi can't worry about him when we are so far from each other
Sterling is in jail. He's taken care of too.
Letting out a long sigh, Levi let go of the back of my thighs and I knew the moment was over.
He's always been so hard to convince.
My feet met the ground and I stood up.
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door.
Bang
Bang
Bang
Uh oh, gotta hide. I ran into the nearest room and leaned against the wall. I kept near the door so I could hopefully listen in.
Levi walked to the front door and answered it, "Oh hey, Melody."
"Don't hey Melody me, where is she?" Melody stormed past him into the hallway.
"Where's who?" Levi asked, playing dumb. He closed the door behind her.
"Maisie. You both go on vacation at the same time...You both come back on the same day. What is going on Levi?!"