I ate the cold food Rayner had brought home after we showered and was in the process of cleaning up our mess when I saw the clock on his stove. Realization hit me like a truck. "I have to work in an hour." I said frantically running to the bathroom to look at myself. I'd borrowed a flannel that was too small for Rayner and put my black jeans back on. My face hadn't a drop of makeup but I didn't really mind that much. "Will you take me to my car?" Rayner had followed me into the bathroom acting weird again out of no where. His vibe was off, he was standing as if he wasn't going to let me leave the house.
"I can just take you to work." He suggested shrugging nonchalantly. I nodded combing my hair trying to look as decent as possible remembering Jackson most likely took the car when he went in at noon anyway.
"Okay Jack is working tonight anyway so he's probably taken my car. I'll just ride back with him and you can bring me Kato later." I decided but he didn't agree like I thought he would. His face held some kind of unsure emotion I'd never really seen before. His jaw clenched along with his biceps as he squeezed the doorframe.
"I can pick you up it's no problem Tori. What time?" He told me as if it weren't a big deal but I knew better. I raised my eyebrow at him stopping what I was doing completely to focus on him. "I'll get you." He decided a possessiveness in his eyes that made me uncomfortable.
"Don't be silly Rayner. I need to go home anyway and it's more work for you to go all the way to my work and back and then back to my work to get me when I could just ride home with Jackson." He clenched his jaw again staring at the ground. He shook his head leaving the room and I followed quick on his heels. "What is it?" I questioned grabbing his arm so he'd turn to face me.
"I'll get you Tori it's fine." He insisted slipping on his shoes plopping down on the couch. "What?" He asked because I'd been staring at him like he had a second head, as if he wasn't acting totally bizarre. I showed him that I saw straight through him with one simple gaze. "Okay... I just want to get you is all." He smiled suspiciously and grabbed my hand gently pulling me closer to him. I removed myself from his embrace so I could focus.
"The truth please. What is it?" He swallowed and scratched the back of his head. I mentally scolded myself for drooling over the way his bicep flexed tugging at his shirt. "Are you still upset about that night?" I wondered aloud wanting to know if he'd still had hard feelings. He shook his head staring blankly somewhere behind me thinking about something deeply.
"Tori I just found out some things about Jackson that made me very uncomfortable and I just would feel safer if you'd stay with me for the time being." He explained vaguely and I understood now why he wanted me to move in so suddenly. His eyes still didn't meet mine looking everywhere but me.
"What kind of things Rayner?" He shrugged and I wasn't sure he'd spill. "Tell me." I pushed but he kept his mouth shut tightly. "Then I'll just have him come pick me up right now." I turned away to get my phone and he grabbed my arm tightly with a vigilant look in his eye.
"Okay Tori but I don't want you to think badly of me because I really shouldn't have looked in his file. I could be suspended for not only looking but telling you what I saw. That was the least of my worries at the moment because Jackson was in my home. "Jackson got into some trouble after he disappeared which he'd been in trouble before but I'm sure you could've guessed that. This time was different. He assaulted a police officer, went completely mad. They arrested him and he was placed in a psych ward for 72 hours. He's unstable Tori and he only came here because his family was afraid of him and he knew he'd be able to use you." My stomach contorted with confusion and betrayal. Rayner sat me down next to him and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.
"Rayner, he told me he had some unshared secrets of what happened while he disappeared. This is heavy but I can't turn my back on him surely you understand why. He needs help even if he is just using me." Rayner shut his eyes tightly taking deep breaths trying to calm himself down. "I went a little crazy after too, I still can't sign my name without having an episode." I told him defending Jackson despite my reservations against him at the moment. He nodded his head not saying anything probably trying to hold his tongue from saying anything he'd regret.
"I don't think I could forgive myself if he hurt you even if it was accidentally Tori. I already can't sleep at night knowing what happened to you while you were in my care. If I can prevent something bad from happening to you I will. " I sighed heavily and leaned my head against his shoulder. I had no idea that he was that worried about Jackson living there.
"Jackson isn't going to hurt me and you did everything you could at the time." I reassured him even though it would never help him to feel better. "Now I need to get to work. We can discuss this later." He kissed my temple and grabbed his keys from the hook.
The car ride was quiet with just the gentle blow of the heater. I sensed Rayner's uneasiness the second we pulled into the parking lot. Memories of the altercation clouded my vision and I hadn't realized he stopped the car.
"Thank you." I gathered my things and reached for the door handle. "I love you." He leaned in and kissed me sensually with that same intenseness he'd had this entire time. As if I were going to disappear before his eyes.
"Are you sure I shouldn't pick you up?" His eyes were coated with worry I nodded and stroked his prickly cheek. "I love you. Call me if you need me." He said as if I needed the confirmation. I nodded giving him one last kiss and escaped inside the building.
Jackson was already hard at work in the kitchen today. I was put on waitressing duty my least favorite thing to do. I wasn't an incredibly social person and this job forced me out of my bubble. Not to mention I hated seeing people my family use to be close with. It was awkward and no one knew how to properly interact with me afraid of insulting me. Luckily this was a short shift of 4 hours.
I'd made decent money in tips once we'd shut the place down. After giving the bus boys a share I waited in the front lobby for Jackson. He revealed himself after about ten minutes of me waiting on him looking beat. He was only wearing a short sleeve polo and his standard black slacks. I handed him the jacket he'd loaned me and he gladly relaxed into it.
"You look tired." He nodded sighing heavily handing me the keys to my car indicating I should drive. He'd just worked a long shift but this was beyond exhaustion.
"Will you drive please?" I nodded feeling slightly concerned for my friend. "I didn't sleep well I think your nightmares are contagious." He teased leading us out of the building and to my car. "This was also a very long day. It was really busy." The holiday times were always the busiest time of year. Once we exited the building he stuffed his hands in his pockets and I folded my hands under my arms for warmth.
"Yea I was here for four hours and never want to take another order again." I chuckled unlocking my car as we got closer. We hurried inside and I let the car heat up a bit so I could feel my fingers again.
The things Rayner had told me were still prevalent in my mind and I had so much curiosity I couldn't quench. I glanced at Jackson slyly but he caught my staring.
"What?" He rested his heavy head back against the seat sleepily. "Why are you staring?" I shrugged putting my car in drive deciding it would help distract me from him because I'd be looking at the road. "Tori you're terrible at hiding things." I felt my lips purse and my stomach was fluttering with anxiety. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't. "How'd things go with Rayner? You make up?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him sticking my tongue out because I'd never give him any details about all that.
"He's not mad at me anymore if that's what you're asking." He chuckled rubbing his eyes stretching in his seat. "Are you alright?" I interrogated suddenly paranoid. He smiled nodding and then yawned loudly.
"I told you I couldn't sleep. I was scared cause you left me home alone." He pouted at me sticking his bottom lip out. I knew he was joking but a part of me believed that he could've been serious. "I'm only teasing Tori you look so guilty." He shook his head closing his eyes. "Are you leaving me again tonight?" I shrugged though I probably wasn't going anywhere.
"Hadn't talked to Rayner about it yet it's kind of late though and I'm tired too." The fighting I'd done this afternoon had worn me out. My muscles ached and I already knew I was going to be sore tomorrow.
The second we were home I went straight to take a bath after calling Rayner and letting him know I was home and staying in to get some rest. My muscles ached incredibly and welcomed the warmth of the water. I had nearly fallen asleep when I heard shuffling in my bedroom that startled me. I drained the tub and wrapped myself in my cozy robe. "Jackson?" I called from the bathroom tying my robe tightly.
I'd figured he'd already have gone to bed but he was hunched over on my bed looking rough. "Hey, what's wrong?" His bloodshot eyes met mine and for half a second I could see the torture in them. He shook his head sleepily. I sat beside him on my bed a few strands that had fallen out of my bun dripped with water.
"Can we talk?" He asking swallowing, looking up at me again. "You can get dressed first." He looked away clenching his jaw pointing at the closet. I nodded closing myself in my closet and changing quickly into a baggy shirt, long socks, and a pair of shorts. I sat back down beside him focusing all my attention on what he needed to say. "I think it's time we talk about things." I nodded. He played with his hands nervously.
"After I was tased and that man dragged my body away back to his van I figured he'd try to kill me but I was barely conscious. I sat up and kicked him in the hip and he fell to the ground. I wasn't expecting it to be that easy. I got up and booked it back inside but someone stopped me a third guy. I didn't see his face just his fist when he knocked me out cold." My body stiffened at the mention of the third man again. I hadn't seen him that night. "He must've been the driver or something because the next thing I knew I was waking up a few towns down in an alley behind a dumpster feeling like actual death." He recapped bringing mental images I didn't want to picture. "I was scared and alone, and I was in shock. That's when a police officer found me and tried to help me out noticing I was injured but I don't know what came over me. I attacked him." He shivered his eyes were cold. "I was beating him to a pulp when another officer pulled me off him slammed me into the ground and arrested me. I apparently wasn't making much sense because they put me in a nut house Tori." He laughed humorlessly.
"When I got out I was released to my family who was afraid of me. They were afraid to set me off but like I'd said I saw the disappointment in their eyes. They thought I was on drugs because I was acting so crazy. Grabbing any girl with Carmel brown hair. I'd lost it." His voice was laced with pain. "I knew I had to see you and our phone calls weren't enough. I remembered what you'd said about your college. It was a long shot but I sold some stuff, got on a plane with my one little bag. Told my family I had to get away, they didn't argue. I wasn't expecting to actually see you and the first time I saw you I thought I was hallucinating again. I followed you around for a week to be sure and now here we are." He shrugged. "It was hard to share that." He breathed out a sigh of relief. "I feel better now." I pulled him into me hugging him proud that he'd told me.
"Didn't the police try and contact you for a statement?" I asked knowing they had and he hadn't given them one. "I don't think I could talk to another police officer Tori. I'm too paranoid and you should understand the episodes." I nodded. "Those guys are behind bars for now anyway. They don't need to talk to me." That third man was still out there somewhere. I wanted more but he looked too exhausted to continue this conversation.
"Jackson you should to get some rest." He nodded his head yawning. "Go ahead and climb into my bed I can take the couch tonight." I insisted. He was hesitant but his eyes were longing and I knew he'd missed sleeping in a real bed. "Bed." My voice was stern. He ripped off his shirt throwing it in the corner not saying a word and got under my fluffy blankets. "Goodnight Jack." I flicked the light off and I could hear his even breathing already. I chuckled shutting the door behind me.
I pulled out the couch bed and flicked through channels on the tv trying to take my mind away from all the conversations. My eyelids were heavy but my phone rang loudly jerking me back to life.
"Come let me in." Rayner demanded and then hung up on me. I snickered bouncing off the bed unlocking the door pulling him inside. "Hey." He smiled sniffling from the sudden cold to warm temperature change. "Where's Jackson?" He asked looking around suspiciously.
"I let him sleep in my bed. He looked exhausted." I explained dragging Rayner down on the sofa bed with me. He kicked off his shoes and he draped his coat over the side of the couch. "He told me." I admitted snuggling into his chest watching the tv. Rayner stiffened holding me tighter.
"Let's not talk about that please." I nodded shoving my face into his warm neck leaving gentle kisses above his collar.
"Why are you here?" I mumbled into his chest while he dug his fingers into my hair loosely. He held me even tighter against him.
"I was worried." He admitted. "I just want to protect you. You're everything to me Tori." He planted a kiss on my forehead smoothing my loose hairs away from my face. I smiled halfway asleep now.
"Where's my dog?" I mumbled falling into a deep sleep only to be awakened by my own thrashing and screaming hours later. Rayner held my arms tightly shushing me reminding me where I actually was. Jackson flew through my bedroom door his eyes landing on Rayner.
Tension was still apparent. Jackson scratched his head lazily nodding his head in greeting to him the way men did. Rayner nodded his head back holding me flush with him so I couldn't really look in Jackson's direction.
"Tori you alright?" Jackson's voice was was deep and scratchy, full of sleep. Rayner still held me tightly into him so I could barely look up and before I could respond he did for me.
"I got it thanks Jackson. She's alright." Jackson nodded his head disappearing behind my door closing it with a bit too much force. "It's alright." He whispered soothing me back to a dreamless sleep.