A/N: This chapter happens the same time as the last chapter. It could be implied here but I still think it's best if I tell you guys beforehand. Enjoy.
TREVOR~
“Are you still seeing the redhead?”
I sharply turn my head at Xavier, my eyebrows meeting, for such a question out of the blue.
“No. I talk to Bethany over the internet, because I can’t just shoo her away just like that.” I furrow my brows further and flash a disgusted look. “And why the hell do you make it sound like I’m hitting on her?”
“Well, dammit,” he says in an equally annoyed voice. “Because she’s Jane! I mean, she’s Jane’s face!”
After giving him a frown that kept him quiet for a moment there, we continue walking towards the elevator. There is this VIP elevator for us special guests in the area, and I hate it and Xavier hates it, but we’re left with no choice. They say it’s for our security, convenience, but the damn elevator can only accommodate four people at one.
“I still can’t believe it, hothead,” Xavier continues, munching on a double-sized burger. “Kailey is Jane!”
“Don’t remind me,” I growl.
“But you shouldn’t be just shrugging the girl away—”
“Waaait!” a voice from behind screams right after Xavier and I stepped into the elevator. It’s Rick, waving at us with a smoothie on one hand. By the time he gets inside the suffocating room he spills some of his sweetened beverage on my shirt.
“Hey, watch it!”
“I’m sorry!”
I quickly undress my unbuttoned checkered shirt, revealing the black t–shirt I’m wearing underneath. Kailey asked me to dress this way more often, because she said it suits me. Oh, Kailey. I haven’t talked to her for days. I throw my head backwards and hit it on the metal wall when Xavier and Rick aren’t looking. I just felt like doing so.
“So, as I was saying...” Xavier says as we watch the elevator doors close before us.
Go on and scold me all you want, I tell him silently, suddenly feeling sorry.
“I know you need time to processes all of this, but at least don’t be so hostile with Poxy.”
“I’m not being hostile, I’m just distancing myself,” I defend. “You know how terrible that lie is, right? She should’ve just told me before.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, ya know. I bet she’s planning to keep it a secret forever but then Bethany showed up. Poor girl had no other choice.”
The elevator falls silent, and I could only hear Xavier chewing that juicy patty, and Rick’s earphones in extremely high volume I could practically listen along to his playlist. “Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, ya know.” Sigh. I’ve never thought of that. But she didn’t have to create a Jane just to get my attention. Or maybe, I wasn’t giving her enough attention before? Ah, goddammit!
“Kailey, Jane. Come to think of it, if they’re the same girl, then you’ve been in love with the same person all along.”
“...you’ve been in love with the same person all along.” Damn, he’s right. This person; I look at him from head to toe, still indulging in that snack of his. He speaks of these things like it’s just so natural to him. No wonder Xavier and Rachel have been so stable for almost half a decade.
“Same person over the years.” He pauses to swallow. “Hmm, now that’s destiny.”
Destiny. I bit my lip as I felt my cheeks burn, and bow down so Xavier wouldn’t see. I give a furtive sigh, thinking of what Kailey and I have, and this possibility called ‘destiny.’ Ugh, sounds corny, I know.
There is silence inside the elevator again. Xavier finishes his last bite. Rick starts to headbang at a Metallica song he’s listening to, his player overpowering the elevator music. I wonder for a moment how long will the elevator take to bring us to the 25th floor, because I fear that Xavier would start talking like a love guru again.
Xavier crumples the paper used to wrap his burger. “Funny, and very unusual of you,” he says with a sly smile. “You aren’t arguing with me, hothead.” His face is somehow telling me that he plans to further find my fault in this incident between Kailey and me, to tell me that it’s three-fourths my responsibility to patch things up.
I only scoff and turn away from him by an acute angle. I’m in no position to argue anyway, not when he just started to make me feel guilty about this.
“I know I’ve been telling you this quite a lot before, but I’ll say it again. Swallow your fucking pride. You’ve got a relationship to protect.”
I know I know I know I know, I say in my head.
“Are you aware of those assholes that got their eyes on Kailey? Yeah, assholes. One of them is that lead singer of Melodies For Sleepless Nights—what’s his name again?”
“Bryan.”
“—Bryan, and he’s on tour with us, and there a lot more out there that I could actually give you a list. A lot of men bend down for Kailey Poxlier and she’s charmingly unaware of it. Look, we’ve got one competition in front of us now.”
I turn to the guy in front of us, unmindful of our conversation. “Rick?” I ask. I don’t think Rick is much of a threat, much less a competition.
“Yeah, but he isn’t categorized under ‘assholes’, more like ‘idiots.’”
I chuckle at the truth, and laugh because Rick isn’t aware that Xavier’s already calling him an idiot when he’s this close to him. However, my laugh only lasts for a few seconds or so. My thoughts return to Kailey, and imagining her with another man just makes me nauseous.
“Poxy’s human and she’s got her limits too, you know,” Xavier adds after finishing his own hearty laugh. “You don’t want Kailey to fall in the hands of an asshole.”
“Of course not!” I blurt out angrily. “Kailey’s mine!”
He has awaken the quick-tempered side of me. Damn that guy. Xavier knows exactly how to make me enraged and he’s successful in it. As usual. Always. And poor me for I’m stuck with him for life. “Oh, so you have no plans of dumping her?” he says teasingly. “But you act like you’re going to.”
“I’m not dumping her, I LOVE her!”
“What the hell was that?” Rick exclaims loudly, still with his earphones jammed in, but the surprise in his face evident with the widening of his eyes.
We could’ve fabricated lies for Rick, but then our attention is suddenly drawn to the elevator door opening at the nineteenth floor. We see Morgan and her face smeared with makeup and smudged mascara underneath her eyes. Xavier and I only exchanged looks and move to give her space. Morgan seems to have cried a river. What the hell is going on?
“Hi Morgan, nice makeup...”
Idiot Rick receives an immediate slap from Morgan. She glares at all of us, takes one step back and makes a rough twist of her body to turn to her left where I believe the staircase is.
“What the fuck?” Rick says.
“Seriously Rick? That’s an insult!”Xavier booms angrily and then faces me. “See? I told you Rick’s an idiot. No wonder he doesn’t get a girlfriend.”
“What?!” Rick snaps, finally unplugging those earphones but still leaves it playing. “Zephyr’s an idiot, and he’s got a girlfriend!”
“Correction, Zephyr’s a fucktard, but knows how to get some chics. Unlike you, you’re just some plain half-a-brain.”
I let them continue their little argument while I hope on two things. One: I hope that Xavier and Rick would carry on this dispute until we reach the our destined floor so that I won’t hear more words of wisdom from Xavier; and two: I hope Kailey never thought that I’ll be dumping her. That is so wrong.
The ting of a bell tells us that we’ve finally reached the 25th floor, with my hope number one fulfilled. But, just when I thought I had heard enough argument inside that elevator, by the time we step out I hear fuming voices which I assume to be males shouting at each other somewhere nearby.
“Yeah, fucker! You kissed her right in front of me! I saw it with my own two fucking eyes!”
“Morgan kissed me! It ain’t my fault! If she loves you then she wouldn’t do that! But look! She did! Because you’re not good enough for her anymore, you little shit!”
A group restrains Mark, and another group is doing the same thing with Aldwin. Around these two groups is a circle of watchers who seem to entertain themselves with the fight, where Xavier, Rick and I just included ourselves in. Things aren’t looking quite well. Since Morgan’s name is mentioned, I figure the reason why we saw her on the nineteenth floor with messy makeup. Honestly speaking, I don’t really care right now, but I think I’m siding with Mark here.
“Well, I don’t give a damn about this band anymore! I fuckin’ quit!”
“Aldwin, without you the whole band’s going to collapse again. They need you!”
“Yeah dude. Think about Morgan!”
“The hell I care about Morgan! And the hell I care about Archer’s Ashen Shits! I quit!”
Whoa, nasty. Am I hearing right? AAW will disband again? For a moment, a victorious smile spreads across my face even if I did absolutely nothing to achieve victory. A smile also plays on Mark’s face and he folds his arms over his chest, like an antagonist having his arch nemesis bow down before him.
There’s a lot more commotion afterwards but I take this opportunity to vanish from Xavier’s sight so I could ask for Kailey’s room number. She isn’t around when the quarrel is happening so I’m hoping that I’d find her in her room.
It takes me several minutes to spot a trusted bandmate of hers in the pool of people. Terence told me that her room is ‘four rooms away from the larger elevator.’ When I’ve reached the larger elevator, I remember that I forgot to ask which fuckin’ side of the corridor.
I stand before the larger elevator like a waiting page boy, trying to figure out which one is the door I’m supposed to knock on. I can’t just make hasty decisions. What if I chose the wrong door? I could be socially awkward at times, you know.
The larger elevator opens just when I least expected it to. It’s around midnight already so I don’t think a crowd of people would still be awake, but I’m wrong. Worse, these people are Irony Affair’s fanbase and street team, simply put, the craziest of the crazy fans.
Ah damn, wrong move.
And so there I am, forced to sign and entertain. While signing my name on their merch and smiling for photos, I’d take a glance behind me often for I haven’t taken my mind off about having a talk with Kailey. I spot Brynn leave a room at my millionth glance and I immediately count. One, two, three, four, five... four rooms away from the elevator!
The left! The fifth room on the left!
Three guards finally appear and control the fanbase for me. I thank them, and proceed to my target room.
Here it goes, I remind myself.
I start to rehearse my lines I’m about to say the moment Kailey opens the door. Kailey, I’m so sorry I shouted at you. I just want you to know that I don’t really care about Jane anymore, I just got carried away. The fact that you are Jane is no big deal to me anymore.
No, that’s a lie. I had enough lies already.
Kailey, I understand why’d you do such a thing, but you shouldn’t have to keep a callous lie from me for so long and you should’ve told me before so it wouldn’t have to get Bethany involved here...
Now that sounds cold. It’s like I’m blaming everything at her.
Kailey, we haven’t been talking to each other in days. How about we get some fresh air and then we’ll talk about this thoroughly?
Argh, that didn’t sound right as well! What I need is a completely honest thought. Honestly. Just plain honesty.
Kailey, I miss you. I love you and I’m sorry.
Perfect.
Filling my lungs with as much air as I could get, I give two heavy knocks. No answer. I knock twice again. There’s still no response. I double the number of my knocks but still, no answer. I try twisting the knob slowly, but it tightens as I twist it, only to tell me that the door’s locked. Damn, she could be sleeping like a dog, or she could be out of her room.
“’Sup, buddy?”
I startle at a voice behind me. I sigh a breath of relieve when it’s only Kailey’s bandmate. “Hey Oliver, do you happen to know where Kailey is?”
“I don’t know, but I’m so sure she isn’t there,” Oliver says as he points to the door I was knocking at.
“You sure? But I haven’t seen her around and this place—”
“Yeah,” he cuts me off. “And if I were you, I won’t go around looking for her just yet.” He hovers over me, so close that I actually inhaled the scent of champagne from his mouth. “She’s really mad at you, you know. She says she doesn’t want to see you.”
“B-but,” I stutter, suddenly feeling sweaty and pale. “That doesn’t sound like Kailey.”
“Yeah,” he says in an annoying way. He rolls his eyes and one corner of his lips curls to a smile. I had this impression that he’s ridiculing me inside his head. “Says you who barely had time for her to me who happens to be around her all the time.”
“What do you know?!” I snap. Remember the time I told Kailey that I don’t have a good feeling about this guy? I will never take back what I said.
“I saw you shouting at her in New York.” He shakes his head and kisses his teeth. “That’s just so unforgivable of you.” He turns away and leaves me here, in front of the door, pitifully waiting for someone to come out of this room when I know that no one’s inside.
Dammit. Kailey’s mad at me. Well, I could say that it’s reasonable, but she’s also at fault here! Couldn’t she just give me some time to sort things out? C’mon! For heaven’s sake she is Jane and she fooled me over the years! Does that actually give her the right?! No, no right at all.
I return to where the quarrel between Aldwin and Mark was at, and there I find Xavier. The two groups have finally dispersed but a fraction of the watchers still stay. Think of it as moviegoers who remain seated until the roll of credits reaches the end, and Xavier’s one of those moviegoers.
“Xavier. Hey, I need to tell you something.”
“Oh there you are! Where did you go?” he asks me, but when I’m about to answer he interrupts. “Wait, did you hear? The damn tour’s cancelled!”
“What? Because of some stupid fight caused by a girl who dared to make out with another guy in front of her boyfriend?”
“Yep. AAW broke up already. How sad, no not really. I’m kinda glad, but I don’t want the tour to be cancelled.” He pauses to take a sip of his root beer. “So why’d ya come here again?”
“Kailey.” Her name came out of my mouth even before I knew it. I give a loud sigh. “It’s about Kailey. Help me out Xavier. Oliver said she’s very mad at me.”
“Whoa, sounds serious. Maybe you should give her some time and space then.”
“But she’s—”
“Calm down, idiot. She’s hurt as much as you are!”
“But—”
“Look, if you’re being too impatient, at least text her or give her a ring, if she doesn’t reply then a voice mail would do.”
I gulp, scolding myself for not thinking about that, and for the news that would surely anger Xavier as much as I’m infuriated in myself. “I lost my phone.”
He looks at me disbelievingly. “You fuckin’ what?!”
“I lost it during photoshoot, okay? I remember handing it to Brent before I stepped inside the designer studio and when I asked him for it, he said I never gave it to him, instead he pointed to my guitar tech Jaxson, and Jax said he saw Kenneth holding it, and Kenneth said no my phone was with Francine but it wasn’t, and Francine blamed other people I never knew was a part of our team, in the end I remember shouting at them saying, ‘ Fuck it, I don’t care about my damn phone anymore!’”
That rising voice of mine has gained watchful stares from people around us. Damn, I’ll never learn. Furthermore, I think I’ve managed to give away our location to Brent, who I see is toddling to us right now. “We need to leave first thing tomorrow,” Brent says.
Xavier raises an eyebrow. “Why so soon?”
“Because Radburn’s got another photoshoot!” he half shouts and points a rolled magazine to my chest. “And don’t blame me for the loss of your phone!”
Our little quarrel doesn’t end here. Brent is one who’d always treat my temper as a challenge, and I’d be an immature one who’d never be willing to back off. Thankfully, Xavier, and a few others had always been there.
The next day, first thing in the morning, we left, and even though I itch to stay for a while so that I could see Kailey I was left with no choice.
*****
It’s a sunny day. The sun is unusually hot, the breeze intensifying the heat as it blows through our skins. The accumulated heat produced by the mass of people on our west further adds to the uncomfortable feeling. Typically not a good time to arrive at the airport to leave for England.
I made sure to stay behind Xavier so I’d be hidden from the people. Damn, I’ve had enough attention already. The moment my eyes lay upon a group, three men with cameras on their shoulders, two women with microphones, a short boy unwinding a roll of cable as he runs, and a brawny guy carrying a lighting, I knew we’re gonna waste minutes with another interview again.
Much to my dismay, Zephyr asks us to stop walking away from the people chasing us. I know we have to, and I know it is inescapable.
Zephyr and Xavier start to entertain the lady with the microphone with things related to England, and the recent AAW breakup and the cancellation of the latest tour. I force myself to give my opinions every now and then, just so I don’t look like a useless screen space snatcher on cam.
Then what I fear happens. The interviewer steps to my side, and I curse Rick for moving away to give her more space. “So Trevor, any got inspirations?”
I give a laugh, which I made it obvious that it’s a humourless one. “Nah, I’m kinda busy.” Now please leave me alone, I’m not in the mood, I say in my head which of course, I don’t dare to tell her in front of the camera.
“What’s with this news between you and Kailey of Flame Alyconia? You’ve been caught together off cam these past few tours!”
“Oh, Kailey, huh?” I removed my aviators sitting on my nose and quickly place it back again, an unconscious gesture of mine whenever I receive unexpected questions.
“Yeah, her! Is there something between you guys? Dating? In a hidden relationship?”
I had to tilt my head away from the camera so they wouldn’t have to catch my saddened expression. Kailey’s still mad at me, that’s for certain. “No. There’s nothing between us,” I mumble. I think this isn’t the right moment to do some revealing. “Now if you will excuse me I think the heat’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I’m really sorry, could we get a shade?”
The interviewer nods and even asks her co-workers to vacate a spot under an awning.
I feel a quick jerk on my elbow. “Why the hell did you say that?” Xavier whispers roughly.
“What?” I ask, lost.
“You just denied Kailey in a live interview! You know how females get overly sensitive over stuff!”
I scoff. “I don’t think she’s even watching right now. She’s probably making a new song or being interviewed too or something.”
“Dang, I just hope she isn’t watching right now,” Xavier says.
It’s a long way to get inside the airport and a much longer wait for our flight to be called. Eventually, we are able to board the plane. The airplane is now prepared for take-off, the seatbelt lights turn on, and the flight attendants announce that it’s time to turn off our electronic devices.
“Dude, your phone,” Xavier reminds me as he gives me a nudge on my shoulder.
“Oh yeah.” I retrieved my phone just a few hours ago, in the hands of some guy whose name I forgot, and whose face I can’t remember. All that’s fresh in my mind is me scanning my unread messages for a text from Kailey, but I received none. Frustrated, I threw it inside my bagpack, and I’m sure it’s underneath the stacks of papers and CD’s I’ve brought with me. “I feel so lazy to take it out, Xavier,” I say as I slouch on my seat.
“Trevor. We don’t wanna be blamed if the radio signals get jammed.”
Oh, Xavier, playing the good guy role. I wait for the engines to roar before I stick my hand inside my portable pit to search for my device. When I finally got a grasp of it, I draw it out and check its screen one more time. There is one text message.
Hi Trevor. I miss you. Talk to me soon, okay? :) –Kailey
Kailey! Kailey texted me!
My heartbeat accelerates while my fingers tremble to type a reply, ignoring all the dangers I could cause. Unfortunately, the phone’s signal is out. Holy fuck no! I press the send button repeatedly and frantically, but it’s useless.
“Trevor.” Xavier places a hand on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Kailey! Kailey texted me! I need to reply, but where’s the damn fuckin’ signal when you need it?!” I feel my heart pound even faster as I look around. “I need to go out, Xavier! I need to reply to her, and then give her a call!”
“This isn’t the right time—hey!”
I run to the aisle and then to a flight attendant. I explain that I need to do an emergency phone call but she doesn’t allow me to get off the plane. She says I am too late, that I approached her when the plane is already taxiing on the runway—I didn’t feel the damn plane moving horizontally from my seat, what the hell—and that she can’t interrupt the pilots now.
"I've got a relationship to save!" I shout, but they were too rule-abiding.
But I was insistent. I resorted to using my I’m-Trevor-Radburn-and-I’m-famous argument, and even included paying them a great deal of money, but none became effective.
It came to the point that Brent and other managers had to stand from his seat and pull me away from the attendants. I have already lost my sanity. All that I want is to get off of this plane which is now airborne. Brent reminded me to behave, that I need to turn off my phone, and that I must not make a scene inside the plane for I will stain the name of my band.
Giving in, I head back to my seat just behind the plane’s wing. As I walk, I am given glances that for a moment I realize the shame I’ve done. I’ve been shouting. I’ve been a lunatic in their eyes. I’ve already caused a scene.
I. Don’t. Care.
All that I do inside the plane is to pray that I’d set foot on land soon. I sleep the all throughout the entire flight. When the engines have stopped roaring, I quickly stand up with my phone on hand, push my way out of the plane until I get a good signal.
Good news: there’s one text message. Bad news: it isn’t from Kailey, rather, it’s from an unknown phone number.
I check the message out of curiosity. It’s a picture file so I had to zoom it, but as I set the image into a clearer view, I freeze. It is a hard slap at my face.
Worse news: It’s a fucking photo of Oliver and Kailey kissing.
~*~*~
A/N:
I’m gonna post another chapter (Kailey’s POV) before the epilogue. The final two chapters just doesn’t sound right and aren’t fit to be the ending to the book. I’m crying huhu