What if?
What if today is my final day of asking what if? What if today is my final day of doubting? Because what if my worries are almost always about losing him and what if today means I will never lose him again? What if today is the beginning of the rest of my life?
What if? What if? What if...
---
I straighten my dress before the mirror, letting out a nervous sigh as a smile dances upon my lips
My body feels energised with excitement, my heart thumps fast as I begin to pace back and forth to calm myself. It's only minutes until we stand before a registrar and claim our love for one another. We decided to have a civil ceremony, everyone else however protested that they wanted to help us celebrate the day so once the ceremony is over we are heading from the justice building to the meadow where there is a whole party planned by the former planner herself, Effie Trinket Abernathy.
Tick tock, tick tock. The arena was a clock, the world is a clock. The time is ticking down to the moment where my world will change in one way but at the same time nothing will truly change. Peeta and I will still be the same, promising to stay with one another was enough for us but marriage is something to just express your love to everyone around you, everyone you love to show that your relationship is real. My mother is not here today. Peeta had convinced me to send her invite, telling me I would regret if I didn't but the reply never came, not even a letter. I felt some bit sophisticated for finding it in myself to even invite her but not one part of me was surprised with the missing reply. But today is not about her, not about everyone who will be waiting outside this building in an hour. No, this is about Peeta and I.
Effie finishes off my hair, adding the final touches before placing the comb aside and sighing with a grin at my reflection in the mirror.
"Perfect"
She says, clapping her hands together, a gleam of success in her eyes. I have to admit she did a beautiful job as much as I protested for my usual plait
It looks elegant and simple and I know looking at it that Peeta will love it. I turn to her and say with a huge grin on my face, as I know in my head the time nears
"Thank you Effie. For everything you've done for the both of us"
She gasps and pulls me into a tight hug, sniffling as she pulls away and with her hands on my shoulders and a smile pulled through tears of joy on her face she says
"Good Luck Honey. This is the day you deserved"
With that said she gives me one last and quick squeeze before leaving and once again I am alone, with minutes counting down until I walk out the door and get married. I begin to add the final meaningful touches to my outfit, my charm bracelet on my wrist and Peeta's medallion tucked beneath the lace of my dress. Finally I pull out the small wooden box, blowing off the particles of dust and opening the rusty clasps to reveal the familiar object. My mockingjay pin.
I pick it up slowly, passing it back and forth between my fingers for a moment before brushing it off. Then slowly I pin it to the second layer of my dress, hidden and unseen. Because this pin is seen as a symbol of many different things, destruction, war, death... the list goes on. But to me, to me it represents where this all started. So in wearing it today it shows that all things will turn good eventually, that badness will eventually die out and that everyone will eventually be granted peace and joy.
---
10 minutes later and I walk through the door to be welcomed into the small but beautiful room
Since the room is almost empty I immediately see the registrar and then I meet his eyes. Peeta Mellark. And immediately my jitters are all washed away, and my giddiness is wiped away with a sense of joy as I walk slowly toward him. I watch as his smile grows as I approach him, eventually standing beside him. I haven't seen him in over a day so in a way I feel as if this is a reunion. I whisper with a grin
"Hi"
He laughs quietly, knowing well I didn't know what else to say. He takes my hand and holds it tight as we sit down before the registrar. The ceremony carries on, not much happens until he asks us have we prepared our own vows and we both nod at the same time. He then asks us to stand and speak our vows to one another. Peeta and I stand up, facing one another hands joined between one another as we look deep into each others eyes, nether of us breaking the lock. He asks me quietly with a smile
"Do you want to go first or will I?"
I smile nervously and tell him
"I will"
And for the first time I know everything I want to say to him, because I simply have to name every single reason why I want this, why I want to spend everyday of the rest of my life with him. And that is simple, simply telling him why I love him. And there is a thousand reasons to that.
"Peeta , I promise to forever give you my heart and my honesty for my whole life. I promise to try my very best to give you the good brilliant life you deserve and I promise to try fill every dull moment with my joy and love for you. And even though I haven't loved you for a lifetime like you have for me I promise you that right here right now all I ever want is to spend my lifetime with you. Everyday I've had with you has been a roller coaster ride and I can't help but fall more In love with you. And there's nobody else I want to spend my life with only you. I was so busy in the games pretending to fall for you, I eventually did. And you've always been there for me even when you were the one loving me when I wasn't true to the love at all. And this is when I thank you for that. And in reality people say that I was the one who saved you.......they're wrong because if it weren't for you I wouldn't be standing here today. And I also want to thank you for always being so kind when I wasn't and for ignoring every imperfection I have and waiting for me to realise how I am desperately in love with you.I have no regrets Peeta Mellark and I can't wait for the future that lies ahead...And with this ring I vow to forever love you, always"
By the end there is several tears sitting in my eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and a few already have left his and slipped down his cheek I slip his wedding band onto his finger. He squeezes my hand tighter before he begins to speak
"Katniss Everdeen, the second I met saw you in the school yard I knew I was hopelessly and crazily in love with the girl with two braids. And that girl grew to be the girl with one braid, to be the girl who saved my life. Before I went into the games with you it felt like I was sleepwalking and then when we went into the games I suddenly woke up to this brutal reality you pulled me out of. And between games I always found you would keep me going, that beautiful smile you have could turn my whole day around. And even when I completely lost myself after the rebellion... you never gave up on me. And after that I was positively positive that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I know we've had our up's and down's, our arguments as everyone does but there has never gone a day where my heart doesn't long for you. I will always love you with all my heart, with every move I make, with every breath I take. And I know there is probably a million other girls out there, but none like you. I want you, I need you to stay with me always. You stole my heart Katniss Everdeen and I'll gladly give you mine. I love you, always. And with this ring I vow to love you always and forever"
He slips the ring on my finger and we continue the ceremony, tears stained upon both our faces as our smiles remain. It isn't long until we are asked to rise to our feet again and are pronounced husband and wife.
---
I'll never forget that kiss, like the first it will always remain in my memory as the kiss that sealed our words. I'll never forget the cheers as we opened the doors and our friends and family flooded upon us with cheers and calls of congratulations. I'll never forget how beautiful the meadow looked that day, scattered with people and lights as everyone danced and celebrated.
I'll never forget our first dance as husband and wife, never will I forget the sparkle in his eyes as he twirled me before pulling me toward him. I'll never forget that first feeling of knowing the future holds great things for us, for since then I haven't gone a day without feeling that rush of hope. I'll never forget looking at everyone as we finally have a day in which we are all together in peace and joy. I'll never forget when he came over to me and took my hand, the warmth of his wedding band against my own. I'll never forget the warm smile I gave him, as my excitement and joy bubbled up within as I asked him
"What now?"
And most of all I'll never forget the smile he returned, the smile that made me shoot up the roller coaster once more as he said to me
"Us"
And that's where it all began, the next roller coaster