Well, school was a living hell this afternoon...also at breakfast...kinda...
At breakfast, the "friend" I made told two students that she was only pretending...
How could I not have seen that coming...?
But they told me that they'd be my friend...but...I still felt...empty...I wanted to cry so much...
But I didn't...
Things got better, but after lunch was just insane...
Gavin was behind Tommy, I asked if I could get in between them because they argue so much, Tommy at fist said no, but then said yes.
Gavin told me to back off and started running down the hall, but both Tommy and Gavin got in trouble...
In class, I grabbed my folder and a pencil.
Although when Gavin grabbed a pencil, I accidentally jerked the pencil thing away from him, although it was just a reflex...
He then said I was rude.
THEN he he said I tried to kick him...and I got so upset...I just didn't understand...
I shouted at him then started to cry...I...I was just so confused...and..I didn't like him lying about me even though I know the teacher wouldn't believe him...
He apologized...but...I ignored it...
"Sorry"...that doesn't fix how you hurt me...it truthfully doesn't....
I don't understand...I really don't...they say to not let it bug me...but it's hard..it really is...
I'm at a behavior school, my anger used to be out if control and the smallest thing could make me mad...although it's lessened over time..
It still hurts...
No matter what, I'll have those issues...my anger isn't as bad...but I still can get upset over things easily.
It's something I can't really describe...but it's really hard for something like that to not bug me...
It hurts...it really does...
I'm just so confused...I don't really understand my emotions anymore...I don't understand life itself anymore...
I feel...lost...I really do...I feel like nothing can really help...I feel an endless amount of sadness inside me...it won't go away...it'll always be there...
Haha...why do I even try...?
But hey...at least the others are there for me instead of picking on me...right...?
*sigh*
I'm sorry...I just...had to get this off my chest...