Dedicated to PenguinWizard03 who is always so sweet and makes me smile!
~~~
Rose did not see Tristan the next day, the day after, nor the day after that, and though she struggled to admit it to herself, she missed him greatly. Every time a tall man walked past in the distance her heart grew hopeful, only to be dashed when she realised it was not him. She missed spending time with him, she missed talking to him, she missed having his undivided attention. She was being silly; it had only been three days. To this madness there could be only one explanation.
She had developed a terrible, wonderful liking for the Prince. An infatuation, an attraction. She could not go a few hours without thinking about him and the way he smiled at her at least once.
Rose banged her head on the table she was seated by. Stupid, she thought miserably to herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she told herself as she began repetitively thumping her head onto the wood. How could I fall for the Prince when I tried so hard not to? She sighed deeply as she rested her head on the table. She was in trouble now. The Prince and a servant, the idea was so fanciful she almost laughed. He likes spending time with me though, Rose tried to comfort herself. He must like me at least a little bit, else he would not talk to me. Rose frowned. Was Tristan fond of her, too? Was this a good or bad thing? What would he do if he discovered how Rose felt? Rose sighed again and woefully banged her head once more.
"What are you doing?" Rose looked up to see Mistress Eudora staring at her curiously with raised eyebrows and humour in her eyes. She looked as though she was holding back a laugh. Rose felt her cheeks warm as she blushed, embarrassed.
"Mistress Eudora! I was just... well, you see... there was the table, and - that is to say, the table was here... but, of course, I," Rose babbled unwittingly, trailing off as she realised how foolish she sounded. Mistress Eudora stared at her in confusion. Her blank face abruptly turned into one of amusement. She laughed heartily to herself for a moment as Rose sat there in shame.
"Your forehead is turning red, perhaps you have bruised it," Mistress Eudora said between her laughter. Rose immediately raised her hand to feel her forehead. It did feel a little sore. Mistress Eudora chuckled at her embarrassment. "How have you been, my dear?" Mistress Eudora asked as she sat next to Rose. They were by a table outside under the shade of a tree. Rose smiled softly at Mistress Eudora.
"I have been well. Princess Suzanna is very kind, though I have missed spending time with you and the other servants," Rose answered.
"Well you are welcome to help with the chores anytime," Mistress Eudora chuckled. Rose giggled with her.
"I thank you. Perhaps I shall."
"But really, Rose," Mistress Eudora said, suddenly serious. "What were you doing? Are you okay?"
"I am okay, Mistress," Rose mumbled, averting her eyes. "I just have a lot on my mind."
"What is worrying you, child?"
"I am... in a situation where I cannot see a solution," Rose summarised.
"How very cryptic," Mistress Eudora said with another chuckle.
"I am sorry; I do not mean to be rude."
"It is not rude; all people are entitled to have their own secrets. You do not have to share your thoughts with anyone if you do not wish it."
"Mistress Eudora?" Rose said after a minute.
"Yes?"
"Will you pray for me?" She asked timidly.
"Aye, of course I will." Mistress Eudora shuffled over on the seat and took Rose's hand in her own. "Dear Lord, I pray for Rose, that you will be with her and help guide her. You know her thoughts, you know her heart, and you know her dreams. You are the God who makes the impossible possible and who works miracles. I pray for whatever situation it is that Rose is struggling with, that you will make her path clear and take away her fears. In Jesus name, Amen," Mistress Eudora prayed. Mistress Eudora squeezed Rose's hand gently and then let go.
"Thank you, Mistress," Rose said humbly.
"You are welcome, dear. Do not be fearful or anxious. God works all things for the good of those who love him."
"But what if what He views as good is not what I view as good, or is not what I wanted?"
"Sometimes in a situation we only see the bad - and it is true that there are very many bad situations we go through. But even then, God works things to bring good out of it. You will see in time, one day you will look back and see how God worked it all so that you would be happy. Even if the answer you get is not the one you wanted, it does not mean it is not good. What if He says 'no' to something you wanted because He has something better for you?"
"I suppose you are right," Rose mumbled, though her heart felt heavy.
"He loves you, Rose. Do not ever forget that. Think of it this way; a man might own a dog whom he loves. What if all the dog wants to do is eat and eat? The man cannot let his pet eat too much for he knows the dog will gain weight and grow sick. He wants the dog to be healthy, he loves the dog, but perhaps all the dog sees is a cruel master who takes away his food. God is like the man - He sees the bigger picture that we do not and cannot know," Mistress Eudora explained.
Rose smiled, suddenly more peaceful. "Thank you, Mistress Eudora. I truly feel much better."
"It is my pleasure. The world is a dark place and people are quick to blame God. But if the Bible is true and God is a good God, then He cannot be bad. I think He does not cause suffering or pain or death, that is just not who He is. He may let it happen, but He does not cause it. There is a good God and a bad enemy; so I do not blame God for the hardships I have suffered, I simply rest in Him and know that He will work everything out to bring good for me," Mistress Eudora said with a wink. She stood up and brushed her hands on her apron. "Right, then. I should be returning to the kitchen before the servants are too idle. You know where to find me if you need me, child." Mistress Eudora bent and kissed Rose gently on the top of her head. Rose beamed as he chest filled with warmth. Rose may have grown up without her parents, but Mistress Eudora made Rose feel like she had never gone a day without a mother.
Rose watched as Mistress Eudora trotted away. She smiled. When she was brought to the palace she had not expected to have a mother-like figure enter in her life. Rose turned her gaze to look out at the scenery. The sun was bright, the sky was blue, and the clouds formed the most amazing images. It was a beautiful day. To her left she could just see the tip of the village in the distance. Further beyond that was the immeasurable expanse of the woods, which curved alongside the village all the way to the castle. In front of her was nothing but endless, rolling green hills where she could see the dots of sheep grazing. To her right she could see the palace gardens spanning out as far as her eye could see. Rose's gaze paused on the flowering gardens. She immediately thought of the hidden garden and the time she had spent with Tristan.
Tristan.
Rose groaned and went back to banging her head on the table.
"I hope you were not planning on torturing your head all day," a voice said. Rose looked up quickly, hopefully.
"Tristan!" She cried out when she saw him a few paces away, grinning at her. Rose immediately stood up and ran to him. Without thinking she reached up on her tip-toes and hugged him tightly. His response was instant as he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her back. Rose breathed in deeply and wondered why she had felt so stressed; all the tension within her faded when he embraced her. She refused to think about her status as a servant. How could it be wrong to be with him when it felt so perfect?
"Rose," Tristan murmured, his breath tickling her ear. His arms seemed to tighten around her.
"I... I missed you," Rose stammered, suddenly shy. She let go of him and took a step back; Tristan let her go. "I am sorry, I should not have hugged you in such a public place," Rose apologised, though she looked around and realised there did not seem to be any people in view.
"I do not mind, for I missed you too," Tristan said, still smiling at her. Rose felt like her head was in a cloud as he said the words - they were too perfect. Tristan gestured to the table and they both sat down.
"Where have you been? I never saw you, not even from a distance."
"I was in a scouting group with some of my Knights. We received warning of a possible threat in the forest - a group of bandits or rebels of some kind forming. We searched but could not find any sign of them. It is probably nothing, though, no need for concern," Tristan said hurriedly at seeing her anxious face.
"I am glad you are home safe now."
"Thank you. I was surprised, though, to see you abusing your head so," Tristan spoke, gesturing to the table, his eyes lit up with humour. "What were you trying to do?"
"Er... nothing," Rose answered, blushing, hoping Tristan would not figure out her reasoning.
"I think you have a bruise forming," Tristan chuckled. Rose covered her forehead with her hand sheepishly. Tristan reached up and removed her hand, holding it gently in his own. Rose looked at her hand resting in his. His skin was a little darker than her own. His hand and fingers were larger than hers. On one finger was a ring with the royal seal engraved onto it. Rose raised her other hand and lightly ran her finger along the ring. It was made of a blue gem that looked delicate and priceless. It was beautiful.
"Your ring is very lovely," Rose commented, surprised she had not noticed it before. Tristan squeezed her hand, causing her to look up at him. He was sitting close, one leg on either side of the bench so he could face her. He looked at her so attentively that she wanted to sigh.
"Will you not share what is on your mind?" He asked gently.
"How do you know there is something on my mind?" She challenged.
"People do not usually knock their heads against hard structures unless something is bothering them," Tristan responded. He was smiling in a teasing manner, but Rose saw real concern flash across his eyes.
"You do not need to worry about me, Tristan," Rose told him quietly. Tristan let go of her hand for a moment only to weave the tips of his fingers through her own. Rose knew she should remove her hand but she did not want to, she wanted to stay with him.
"But I do worry about you."
"You should not."
"But I do," he insisted. Rose giggled at his stubbornness.
"There is nothing to worry about. I am well, I am safe, and I am happy." Tristan hummed to himself in response as he looked down at their hands. He looked up after a moment.
"I should go. I have not reported to my father yet and he will grow angry if I tarry much longer," he explained.
"You should have seen him earlier; I do not want you to be reprimanded because you came to see me," Rose responded with a smile.
"I wanted to see you," Tristan confessed, his face showing no guilt.
"I am glad, I wanted to see you too," she admitted, blushing a little.
They stood up and Tristan raised her hand to his lips. He kissed it gently. Rose anxiously looked around but saw no one near them.
"Farewell, Rose," he murmured as he released her hand. "I do not know when I will see you again, but hopefully soon."
Rose nodded. "Okay. Be safe."
"Of course," Tristan agreed. He pulled her head to his shoulder and gave her the briefest hug. Rose took her chance and breathed in his scent one last time. Tristan smiled at her and released her from the hug. He waved as he reluctantly began backing away from her.
"Goodbye," she called as he turned away. She watched him walk until he was far off into the distance. Rose slumped back down onto the bench when he was out of her sight. "Oh Father, I do want what you want, but I am scared you will take Tristan away from me," Rose whispered into the wind as a tear fell from her eye. "Please do not take him away... I cannot bear to lose him. I know I am just a servant and I have no right to hold onto him. But I think... I think..." she stopped as a choked sob escaped her. I think he has stolen my heart... I love him.
When Rose went to help Suzanna prepare for bed, the Princess had a whisper of a smile on her lips, as if she knew a secret. Rose tried not to pay attention to Suzanna's expression while she worked but she found it rather unnerving. Suzanna was unusually quiet but Rose did not want to presumptuously ask what was on her mind. It was not until Rose was undoing Suzanna's braid she had created that morning that the Princess spoke.
"I saw you with my brother today," Suzanna said simply. Rose's hands froze. Suzanna's tone was not rude or angry, but rather open.
"With - with Liam, my lady?" Rose asked, feigning innocence. She forced herself to focus on her task, though her hands shook. What had Suzanna seen? What if she had seen Tristan and Rose embrace? What if she had seen Tristan kiss Rose's hand? How had she managed to spot them? Rose had not seen anyone near them.
"No, not with Liam, silly," Suzanna said with a light giggle. Horror filled Rose as she realised there was a window in the palace that overlooked the table Rose had been sitting at. "With Tristan," the Princess finished. Rose's breathing became shallow. What would Suzanna say? Would she tell Rose to stay away from her brother? Would she scoff at Rose's mere servant status? What if she told other people - what if the King found out?
"M-my lady, I do not know what you saw b-but, but there is nothing-" Rose stammered.
"Oh silly, sweet Rose," Suzanna interrupted with a laugh, standing up from the stool she was in so she could face Rose. Her face was alight with joy and compassion. "Why are you so afraid? You have nothing to fear from me, I promise," she giggled.
"But I - but you saw-"
"I saw my brother smile more than he has in years. I saw my brother speak to someone who is not just his family. I saw my brother care for another person - truly, deeply care. I saw him laugh. I saw opening up when he has been closed for so long. Tell me, how can any of this not be a good thing?"
"Please do not tell anyone," Rose begged.
"Of course not, I would never. When I saw you run to him and watched him hold you I felt sure I had never seen anything so romantic. Why, my heart flutters now just thinking about it," Suzanna sighed dreamily. "It was a most beautiful sight. I have never seen Tristan hug anyone but his siblings. How joyful I am to know he has opened his heart - and so he should, you are very beautiful."
"Th-thank you," Rose stuttered, beyond surprised.
"You are welcome. Now sit down with me, I want to know everything," Suzanna said, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously. Suzanna led Rose to a chair by the fair which she sat on in a daze. Suzanna sat opposite her eagerly. "I thought you did not like my brother, is that not how you came to be here in the first place?"
"I did not like him. He had made mistakes which had hurt me deeply, but as I grew to know him I realised he was not the person I though he was," Rose answered. She was uncomfortable talking about her feelings, but at the same time it was a relief for her to be able to confide in someone.
"You saw beneath his exterior," Suzanna said with a big smile. "And now?"
"And now what?"
"And now how do you feel about him?" Suzanna asked. Rose would have gawked at Suzanna's intrusion of privacy, but she was so startled by the sudden question that she did not find offence.
"Now... Now I-I," Rose stopped talking. She did not know how to answer and she did not want to reveal her thoughts for she knew she would become upset. "I cannot say. I do not wish to talk about this anymore."
"You love him," Suzanna said. It was not a question but a statement. Rose stood up swiftly, bothered that Suzanna was prying so much. Or was she bothered that the Princess's words had truth to them? Rose turned her back to the Princess as she inhaled deeply, trying to calm her emotions.
"It does not matter, I am only a servant," Rose finally responded.
"Rose, surely you cannot believe that is true," Suzanna murmured, standing up and walking over so she was in front of Rose. Rose swallowed as tears threatened to fill her eyes. She would not cry; she would not cry. "You are more than a servant."
"The rest of the world will not see it that way."
"Well dash the rest of the world. You have a right to your own heart, do not let fear or anyone take that away from you. Besides, if I know Tristan - and I certainly do - he will not let anyone stop him from holding onto someone he cares about," Suzanna encouraged. Rose smiled at the Princess.
"I am glad to have your support, Suzanna. I thank you." Suzanna nodded in return.
"Everything will be good in the end, you will see," Suzanna assured. Rose bowed her head in thanks. As she finished assisting Suzanna for bed, she could not shake the thought that Suzanna's statement had echoed Mistress Eudora's earlier words. God works everything for the good of those who love Him.
Rose walked to the servants' quarters with only a candle to light her way. She had been dismissed from Suzanna later than usual after their talk. The castle was completely dark; she would have felt scared if it were not for the fact that was too tired to care. As she was walking down the hall a flicker out the window caught her eye. Rose paused by the window and peered out into the distance. She could just make out the black, murky shape of the forest. In the far distance of the forest an orange light was barely visible through the trees, but it was there. It was small, not vast and wide. Orange light... Fire, she realised. It was not large enough to be a wild forest fire. A campfire? Who would be camping in the woods at night? Rose shook her head. She would mention it to Tristan or Samuel, but it was probably nothing.
When she reached the servant's chambers she expected everyone to already be asleep. She opened the door quietly but was surprised to see the room alive with action. The candles were all still lit and it seemed like all the maidservants were on their feet. Rose entered the room and closed the door behind her, blowing out the candle in her hand. None of the women paused to see who had entered or to greet Rose. Rose placed her candle down on a nearby cupboard and looked across the room, trying to find Anabelle.
She spotted her friend on the outskirts of a cluster of the women. "What is going on?" Rose asked as she approached her friend. Anabelle turned around with a frown darkening her face.
"It is Keira," Anabelle told her, gesturing to a girl Rose could just see in the heart of the crowd. The girl was sitting on a bed, her face red and blotchy as she cried. A couple of the maidservants sat on either side of the girl, trying their best to console her.
"What happened?" Rose asked, shocked. It was rare to see any of the servants crying. Rose did not personally know Keira, though she had definitely seen the maidservant before.
"We do not know. She came into the room crying about fifteen minutes ago but she has not said anything." Anabelle and Rose both stopped talking and watched the maidservant anxiously.
"What happened, Keira?" Some of the girls crooned as they tried to calm the girl down. Keira shook her head as a quiet sob escaped from her.
"Can somebody get her some water?" One girl called out. A maidservant rushed out of the room in response.
"Do you think we should call Mistress Eudora?" Rose whispered to Anabelle. Anabelle shook her head immediately.
"No, we already offered to get Mistress Eudora but Keira refused. She does not appear to want any help."
The maidservant returned a moment later with a cup of water and a damp towel. Keira drank the water. It seemed to calm her down a bit as her crying eased and only a few tears escaped her eyes. One of the maidservants wiped Keira's face down gently with the damp towel.
Rose left her place by Anabelle's side and weaved her way through the crowd. She managed to reach Keira, and hesitantly she knelt in front of the girl. Keira looked at her with cold, blue eyes.
"Keira, you do not know me, but my name is Rose and I would like to help you. We all would," Rose murmured. The maidservants chorused their agreement and added their own words of encouragement. "Won't you tell us what is wrong?" Keira sucked in a shaky breath and slowly nodded. A maidservant handed her a new cup of water.
"The... The Prince has been absent on a scouting trip the last few days," Keira began. Rose frowned. Tristan? What did he have to do with Keira's tears?
"Go on," some of the girls encouraged.
"He told everyone he returned from his trip this morning, but he did not," Keira said as another tear escaped her eyes. She took a sip of the water she had been offered. "He returned last night. I was walking through the halls late last night because I remembered I had left my shawl in the ballroom and I wanted to retrieve it before it was lost. Well, as I was w-walking down the hall someone grabbed me and forced me into one of the guest chambers. It... It was the Prince. He s-stole my virtue and forced me to lay with him. I went to him this evening and demanded he take me as his wife to preserve my honour, but he refused. H-he stole my virtue, and he does not even care," she cried. Rose went cold at Keira's words. Her stomach seemed to drop down to the floor. Tristan? Accosting a maiden? It could not be true... it could not be true.
Rose's heart ached as she tried to cope with the news. Why would Tristan do such a thing? A grief so strong hit Rose as she tried to take a breath. Could he truly have done what Keira said? Rose tried to force away tears.
Tristan would not hurt her like that. He had made it obvious that he cared for Rose. Surely he would not hurt her this way... Unless... Unless I am part of a game he always plays. What if I am not the only servant he speaks to alone? What if he treats all the servant girls the same way as me?
Rose's heart felt crushed. Was he truly the type of person that would willingly hurt her? She had been led to believe that Tristan cared for her, that he wanted to talk to her and spend time with her.
How could this be true? Unless Keira was not telling the truth. Rose stared at the maidservant who was being consoled by all the other servants. Was the girl lying? Would she truly risk fabricating a lie that would shame the Prince? Why would she do such a thing?
Rose stood up, shaking, and tried to make sense of the information. Her tears threatened to spill but she forced them away.
Tristan would not do such a thing... would he?