I sit there in the hospital for a while. My mother had to go back to her cafe because an employee got sick and had to go home, they were the only one that's actually able to work at the front desk so she had to take over. I look around the room for a while. The paintings I've done for my father, what ever he wanted, I drew. There was one of a dog eating a flower.
He told me that he saw a dog do it when he got to take a walk outside and that it made him laugh. It made me smile to think that my father would laugh about something so goofy. Honestly, if this would have never happened... My dad would have never loved me like he does now. And I would have never met my mom. These things were supposed to happen so that I can make it here.
I smile at another painting he told me to draw. It was of a butterfly sitting on a rose. "The butterfly resembles you." He told me when I had painted it. "How?" I had asked. "You'll understand when someone explains it to you.. Then you'll see what I mean." He smiled. His smile was one of those things that he could never stop doing. If cancer would have never found my dad, he would have never smiled.
He would still be that stuck up, grouchy man he was a couple months ago. I look at all the other paintings. They all symbolized something, about him. All that he had hidden inside himself. I just transfered it to canvas.
"Paint for me Faith." He says as he lays there. I smile and stand up. "Okay." I say as I walk over to the supplies I always left. "What is it today?" I ask. He's quiet for a while. His face had no hair, neither did his head. He was like a wrinkly raison, chemo does that to you I guess. "The sky." He says. "The sky now or the sky of tomorrow?" I ask. He chuckles. "The sky of.. After life." He finishes. I look at him odd. I wasn't really sure of what he was thinking.
"How do you see the sky dad?" I ask. He closes his eyes. "Lots of blue, different pigments and shades of blues. And beautiful clouds that are soft to the touch." He explains. I get to work. "The sun rays cutting through the thin clouds." He says. I then start to Invision what he wants, and paint as he watches. "You're an amazing artist Faith.." He says. I smile as my paint brush glides along the canvas.
"You've told me many times." I chuckle, even though I wasn't tired of him saying it. "Its true.. I don't get why I didn't see it before.." He pauses. "I wish I would have payed more attention to you.. And what you wanted." I turn and look at him. "Why do you keep saying things like you're not going to see me again?" I ask.
His eyes had a tight grip on mine, and I knew that he felt something I couldn't.. At least the way he did.
Pain. I couldn't feel his pain. It reminds me of that time that he couldn't go to sleep because the chemo was giving him head aches and his bones hurt. What was he thinking as he looked into my eyes? Was he thinking of something specific?
"What are you thinking dad?" I ask. He tilts his head. "I don't know.." He says. I frown. "I feel." He adds. I'm surprised.
"I feel that all this has happened to me for a reason.. To teach me a lesson.. To make things happen not only for me, but for you.." He pauses. "Maybe if I wouldn't have gotten Cancer.. You wouldn't have met your mother.." He bites his lip then looks at the painting. "Even if I don't go to Heaven.. I know that you'll be okay.." He lays back, looking up at the ceiling.
"Faith.. I'm proud of you.. As my daughter and the human being that you've become. And thank the Great Lord Almighty you didn't come out like me. You came out like your mother." He let's out a breath. "I wish I can take it back.. Forcing your mother away.. Forcing you to do what I want.. But you're successful on your own, and I'm happy for you." I turn and continue to paint.
"That's why I know.. When I'm gone. You'll do great." I stop, the paint becoming a blotch as I leave the brush pressed on the canvas. "I love you.. So m-uch.." His voice cracks. I blink back my tears. "I just wish that I would have loved you like I should have your whole life." I turn to him. "You can continue to love me..." I tell him. He doesn't look at me, his tears falling down he cheeks. We don't say anything for a while, finally..
I decide to say something once the painting is done. "I love you so much dad.. I know you'll get through this.. You're strong." I look at him, a smile on his face. "Do you like it?" I ask picking up the canvas.
He nods. "I wonder if I'll see the really thing.." He mumbles. "Its beautiful." He says. I smile. I set it against the wall to dry and sit next to him. "Faith.. Promise me one thing.." I look at him. "Yes dad?" He touches my hand. "Continue to be my little butterfly.." I don't understand but I nod. "Okay." I smile. He adjusts his head. I see him close his eyes. "Dad?" I ask. "Hmm?" He hums in response. "Are you tired?" I ask. He nods slightly.
I stand up and kiss his forehead. For a while, I sit there the only sound is the beeping from the machine that shows my dads heart rate. I decide to head down to the cafeteria. Its a bit dark, all the walls were glass, showing the angry sky that was pouring down hard. I buy a muffin and sit at the table closest to the heater. I stare out the window, the droplets trickling down slowly. My body jumps to the sound of sirens.
"Doctor Yun please report to room 302. Please report to 302." I hear on the intercom. I shoot up and run down the halls. When I make it to his room, nurses and doctors are rushing into his room. My heart is pounding not only from the run but from being scared. I walk up, I peer inside and they're pushing on my dads chest. My hand flies over my mouth trying to keep myself from screaming.
"Defib unit! Stat!" The doctor reports. A nurse rushes to a cabinet and grabs a box like thing. They hook it up to my dads monitor that had nothing but a straight line across it as a shrieking sound leaves it. "Clear!" The doctor yells as they press the metal plates against my dads chest, causing his body to flop. I slowly fall to my knees, unable to see anything through my blurry vision. "Run it again!" The doctor demands.
The nurse resets the machine then rubs the plates together making a static sound. "Clear!" The doctor yells as the nurse presses it against my fathers chest again. His body flops to the side, his arm draping off the bed. "Run it one last time!" The doctor demands. The nurse does the procedure one last time, "clear!" The doctor yells. And once again nothing. I sit there, watching in horror. The doctorpeans over the bed, grasping his face with his hands.
"There was nothing we were able to do sir." The nurse says. The doctor stands up straight and turns off the monitor. "Official time of death... 3:18 pm.. Saturday. December 20th." The nurse jots down everything. "Thank you." He says and they both head out towards the door. I find the strength to stand up. The doctor looks at me surprised. "Faith wha-" ,"Am I allowed to see him?" I ask cutting him off. He nods and steps aside.
For a while, I just sit there crying my eyes out. The sky only got darker since my dad had left me, his soul.. Not his body. I touch his hand, his skin cold. "I love you dad." I cry. I turn and look at the painting that I had made for him, the last minutes that he was a live. "You're seeing the sky dad.." And I cried for hours.
"Faith.. Hours are over.." I hear at the door. I nod and give him a kiss on his cold bald head. I walk out of the room. "I'm so sorry for your loss Faith." The nurse tells me. "Its okay.." I wipe my tears.
**
I didn't have a umbrella so the rain consumes me as I walk through the gloomy atmosphere. My hair clinging to my face and neck. My heart has literally shattered to a million pieces. I can still hear his voice talking to me. Telling me words that I had longed to hear for as long as I've lived.. And he told be before he took his last breath. I look up and see a couple share a kiss under the shelter of a umbrella. My eyes widen. "Hoseok." His name leaves my lips.
**
Hoseok's POV
I get a feeling that nows the time, to go and tell Faith. I don't even think twice, I get up and head out of the house. The pouring rain waits for me as I stand on the porch. I take a step out into the rain, the water automatically soaking my shoes. I run to the direction of her house, I was determined to make her mine. The rain making it a bit hard for me to see. I stop in my tracks when I see a small figure running my way in the distance. "Faith?" Leaves my lips like a sweet melody.
**
Faiths POV
I run pass my house when I see a person standing there. Once I get closer I notice its Hoseok. I run even faster, though my legs are ready to give out. "HOSEOK!" I scream as I run to him. "FAITH!" he calls for me. I slow down and stop in front of him. His hair clinging to his face, he looked attractive actually. My heart pounds in my chest. "Fait-" I pull on the back of his neck bringing him to my level and I press my lips against his.
He doesn't hesitate at all, his arms wrapping around my body bringing me closer to him. I wrap my other arm around his neck as I deepen the kiss. I've longed for this, to feel him the way I was supposed to.
The electricity runny though my body like crazy, it was exhilarating. The rain made the kiss more romantic. We kissed for a whole longer. I slowly pull away from him. "I love you." I say right after. "I love you so much I can't help it." I look into his eyes. "But what about Shawn?" He asks. I let out a laugh. "He's history." I say. He's quiet. "It was always you Hoseok.." I tighten to grip on his neck. A bit nervous because he's not saying anything. A smile splits his face.
"Its about time." He presses his lips against mine again. I smile against his lips and kiss him back. "I love you.." He says against my lips before reconnecting his with mine again. He gives me a quick peck then pulls me into a hug. "Let's get out of the rain?" He asks. I nod we head to my house since we were close by.
**
Hoseok's POV
My heart pounds as she presses her head against my chest. "You hear that?" I ask. She looks up at me. "My heart only pounds like that for you.." I tell her. A smile spreads on her face. "Stay with me.." She says as she inches up closer and puts her face in the nape of my neck. "Always." I pull her tight against me, making sure to never let her leave my grasp again.