Zayn's P.O.V.
It's interesting what Life can throw at you. How it can throw the hardest, most Violent, most negative things at you, yet exspect you to get up and move on.
Niall.. he's gone.. Harry.. he's gone..My father he's gone. As i walk down the sidewalk 2 days after Niall died I can't help but realize I'm the reason I'll never see any of them again.
I enter a old flower shop that my father would always go into, when he needed to buy flowers for my mom after he nearly beat her to death... I took a deep breath before walking in.
The smell of various flowers entered my nose. I look around trying to find one single flower that would explain everything i had on my mind..so i didn't have to say it myself. I walk around through the small aisle. Until i saw a yellow rose with a tint of black at the tip. To me it represented me perfectly.
The yellow represented everything i could be...free. Happy. loving. fun. bright. But just like the flower black is covering all that up.
I quickly grab the flower and take it to the counter. A woman around her thirties smiles at me.
"for that special Someone?" her sweet motherly voice asked.
I just shrug handing her a twenty dollar bill. She went to give me my change, but i just hold my hand up gesturing for her to keep the change.
It looked like she was going to protest but I just walked out of the shop and back out on to the sidewalk. I begin to walk down the street to a path i promised myself i would never walk, but i decided i needed to prepare myself for Nialls funeral in a few weeks.
I near the Cemetery that my father was buried in and flashes of what went on the night he died jammed there way into my mind.
Flashback:
"You did as we asked." Louis father stated as he sat behind his desk with his cigar in hand.
I nod in response feeling guilty already.
"What are you going to do to him?" i ask my 15 year old voice cracking near the end.
"Nothing. but you will." he says looking straight into my eyes with no remorse.
with that in walks three of the mob members with my father in hand.
"Zayn. thank god, you have to call for help." My father says with panic in his eyes it was weird seeing him in the state he normally puts me and my mother through.
"Zayn, take this." Louis father says removing a golden revolver from his desk.
My dad looks at the gun then at me.
"I can't he 's my dad." i say looking at him with hurt in my eyes.
"Well it's either this or we can go visit the rest of your family.. How old are your sisters?" Troye asked with a wicked grin.
I look at my dad again with complete remorse in my eyes, before i took the gun in my hand.
"Look him in the eye." Louis' father says.
I bite my lip to keep it from quivering as i lifted the gun aiming it and making eye contact with my father.
"It shouldn't be hard, just like it wasn't hard for him to forget the debts he owed me....or how it wasn't hard for him to beat you and your mother every night."
This caused me to cock the gun as anger built up in my gut.
"Zayn... no your my-" my dad began but his last word was drowned out by the sound of a gun shot.
and the tears of a monster.
End of flashback
I forced the images of that night out of my mind as i arrived at his stone.
His name was carved into the tombstone so descretly that it was barely there. I place the flower down by the stone, and i was going to walk away emotionless, but i couldn't help but say something.
"Its Zayn, I..I don't know if I should be crying. I don't know if i should hate you or if i should hate myself. But things have been fucked up, I can't help but wish that you dieing is to blame but I can't. Seeing as I cant Love you....or Hate you I guess the least I can do is forgive you." i say silently towards the end.
I could forgive my father for all the things he's done but i would never be able to forgive myself. I feel the shittiest I've ever felt and as I walk out of the cemetery, I was about done. I think it's time for me to leave i say to myself letting all the negative emotions take over my body as I arrive back at the road, cars whipping back and forth because of it being rush hour.
I walk to the edge of the sidewalk planning to end my life by walking in front of one of the cars. I look down at my old boots then i let my eyes drift open looking across the road and what i saw was unimaginable, Niall.... He began to walk over to me with his same well spirited smile but there were cars coming.
"Niall!." i yell as a car comes in contact with his body... but thats the thing he just vanished the air swallowing him whole until he was once again gone...it wasn't Niall...It was a sign, It's not my time to go. I think as i back away from the road letting my back lean up against a fence that lined the sidewalk.
I need to fight for whats right for once not just give in...I need Harry....Harry needs me.
With this thought i bring out my phone which I've been avoiding for the past few days.
There were tons of text from josh none from Liam or harry...but i knew the real reason im on my phone is to text harry so i take a deep breath before sending him a message
To Harry: I need to see you. Please.
Harry's P.O.V.
"Get the hell over it Harry." Louis says as we look at the three samples of cake the wedding planner set out for us in the Tomlinson mansion dining room.
"My mums allergic to chocolate." I restate.
"Then i guess she doesn't need to come to the wedding." he says slamming his fork down on the table.
"If my mom doesn't come neither do I." i say rolling my eyes and pushing away from the table and walking out to the foyae planning to walk upstairs.
I feel Louis grab my arm and swing me around slamming me aginst the nearest wall knocking the wind out of me.
"what the fuck did i tell you about running away from me!" he screams the rage showing in his eyes.
"sorry i won't do it again." i whisper under my breath.
His hand flys to my face causing me to collide to the ground.
"What was that?!" he screamed. befor kicking me in the stomach.
"sorry I won't do it again." I cry out in pain.
"You make me sick." louis says walking away from me leaving me in pain. It doesn't take long for me to hear the door slam as he leaves the home.
I struggle up off the floor and climb the stairs to the bedroom..
30 agonizing stairs later i arrive in our bedroom and I immediately walk straight to the bed. sitting down putting my face in my hands. Realizing what i'll be living with for the rest of my life.
About 15 seconds later my phone vibrates. I sigh before removing it from my pocket and seeing a text message from Zayn.
From Zayn: I need to see you. Please.
There was so much at stake at this point...but I needed to see him as well. Badly.
To Zayn: Lou's gone come to the balcony on the master bedroom.
I text back. Adrenaline was rushing through me. Knowing that Louis is on such a edge he would Kill Zayn as soon as he saw him.
I run my hand down my face. as i refocus on the choice i just made.
From Zayn: On my way.
I read this over and over agin hoping the text message will just dissapper into imagination, but everything was reassured to be a reality when a half hour later I hear a tap on the glass doors that seperated the room from the balcony.
I took a deep breath. and I rose from the bed and walked to the balcony. I open the doors and there Zayn is his hair going every which way and his eyes colorless and less vibrant. I almost couldn't recognize him.
"zayn I-" i began but just like any other time he cuts me off but this time with a Kiss. making every charecteristic and feeling he was feeling travel throughout my body.
"I'm not giving up...your stuck with me." zayn says looking into my eyes sending happiness throughout me but guiltiness as well.
"Zayn we can't." i say but he kisses me again.
"shut up and let me make love to you." he says letting our lips meet.
And just realizing how much we can't gave me all the more reason to let him.
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A/N: so another chapter.... I would like to say there has been a lot of sad moments but happiness well be here soon and Next chapter will be pretty intense. This was just a chapter based on Zayns self actualization. But i hope you enjoyed and btw my computer broke down so i have go write on my pgone :( sorry about the grammar and spelling.
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