ENJOY PPLS I HOPE IT DOESNT SUCK THAT BAD AND THAT ITS REMOTELY DECENT LOL LOVE U THANKS FOR READING
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Jess
The next day. Luke helped Jess pack late last night, and he slept over her house. No they didn't do anything you dirty minded humans.
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"I can't believe this is actually happening. You're moving, and I'm not fine. Like, at all," Luke said to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, while pulling me closer to him. I cuddled up to him and he started to braid my hair, although he stunk at it. Loose pieces kept coming out of the braid.
"Don't worry Luke, things will work out in the end," I explained.
"But seriously, how are you holding up with everything?"
"I'm not great, my dad's in a coma, my best friend just died, I just lost my ex-boyfriend to a slut, I'm leaving my current boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I've known my damn whole life so life is pretty damn suckish right now," I explained, letting a small chuckle escape my lips, shaking my head.
"Damn. I can't even fathom how painful it is. You know I'll always be her for you right?" He said, kissing my hand. I nodded, smiling. "Do you even know where your going?" He asked.
"I think somewhere in Nevada. Las Vegas? Honestly I don't know, and I don't give a crap," I said.
"Speaking of crap, I have to pee. I'll be right back," Luke yelled to me as he rushed over to my bathroom, holding his crotch for dear life. I sighed. Only Luke. I untangled my loosely pulled together braid, and let my hair fall to my shoulders.
Luke and I were just hanging out at my house, lounging the couch, and just watching some of our favorite movies. Right now, we were watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower. This movie is definitely one of my absolute favorites. Sometimes I feel like I can relate to Charlie. He feels so broken, so lost in his own mind, constantly swimming in an endless ocean. Attempting to deal with the hell hole that is his life.
I've been longing, so badly to do what I've needed. But I've been clean for a few months now, all thank to Luke. The temptation still pulls me to the blades, and I am always ready to do it, but then I think of Luke. How he wouldn't want me to do this, or anyone for that matter. I can't withstand his reaction if he found out that I harmed myself, again.
I just feel so empty, so useless, that no one wants me here. And I know that's not true, but I just can't help but feel it.
If I didn't have Luke, I'd probably be dead by now. I would've committed a long time ago.
I had a letter all planned and written out, that I was going to leave for them on their bedside table. But Luke actually burned it. That day I actually realized that Luke really truly cared for me, and that's something worth living for.
"Hey, I'm back. Miss me?" Luke asked, hopping on the couch and putting his arms around me.
"Let me think. Mm, no," I joked, pushing him away from me. I laughed at the sad pout that was plastered on Luke's face.
"Aw, you love me, stop lying to yourself," He said, puckering his lips and going in for a kiss.
I put my hand over his mouth. "In your dreams, lover boy," I said.
I felt a vibration coming from under me, signaling it was my phone ringing.
"Who is it?"
"I don't know. Usually it would be you but you're here, so I don't know."
I took the phone out from my pocket, looking at the caller ID. I didn't think I'd hear from him again.
"It's Nate. From the party you took me to recently," I stated.
He shrugged, and I pushed the green button on my phone, and put the device to my ear.
"Hey Jess," He said.
"Hi Nate."
"Um, how are you?"
"Fine. You?"
"Alright."
"So.. I was wondering, if you were, um, busy? Any day this week?" He asked shyly.
"Oh Nate, I'm um- I'm leaving." I slowly said in sadness.
"Leaving? For what? Like, vacation? Because we can always reschedule-"
"No Nate, you don't understand. I'm leaving Australia. To go to America," I said as I rubbed the back of my sweaty neck.
"By the way, I have a boyfriend. But no hard feelings right?" I said, looking at Luke who was playing with one of those toys where you put both of your fingers into the material and you have to try to take them out. I was always amazing at it, but Luke was always horrible.
"Oh, um." Nate gulped which I heard over the phone. "Yeah, of course. No hard feelings. I'm just- why are you leaving for- leaving Australia?" He questioned hesitantly.
I chuckled, and shook my head. "My father has been diagnosed with lung cancer. There are better hospitals in America then there are here. We have to leave immediately. My dad, he's- he's in a coma." I said, struggling to accept the fact that he is on the verge of death. But, as he always told me, never lose faith. So, I'm going to keep my head held high and hope for the best.
But, I just don't understand. Why does he have to have cancer? Why couldn't I be the one in the hospital bed? I'm the one with the issues. I'm the one with the attitude. I'm the one who has a sucky life. He is kind, gentle, understanding, compassionate. He doesn't deserve any of this.
"Jess? Is something wrong?" Nate asked.
"I have to go," I said quickly, and pressed the red button that ended the call. I ran over to Luke who was still on my bed playing with the toy. I jumped into his arms, sobbing into his red flannel.
He whispered comforting things into my ear, as I cried uncontrollably.
"Don't ever give up. Don't ever give up on me. I love you, you know that right?"
I picked my head up from his chest, and looked up to his crystal blue eyes. He was smiling down at me, and I nodded in response.
"I love you. But, I think I stained your flannel," I chuckled, wiping my eyes with my palm.
I sat up, and looked at the mascara stained clothing.
"Oops."
"It's okay, I mean, if you weren't my girlfriend, I would probably be mad. But I'll let it slide. Just this once," He explained.
"Oh will you?" I asked as my fingers lunged at him, tickling his sides. His eyes widened, shocked at the sudden burst I had on him.
"N-no nO JESS, STOP IT I CAN'T TAKE IT I CAN'T BREATHE STO-OP I- CAN'T HANDL- LE IT-" Luke squealed, giggling uncontrollably. I continued to tickle him until I heard my mother knock on my door. I stopped, and sighed as I got up to open it.
"Honey, it's time to go." She said as she looked at me, then at Luke, and back at me. She sighed, and walked back down the stairs.
"I-"
"Say no more. I'm coming with you. Well- I wish to America, but I'm talking about the airport," He said, walking over to me. Once he reached me as I was frozen in place, he kissed my head and I felt my muscles relax.
"C'mon. You're gonna miss your flight."
He helped me grab all the boxes, and I took one last look at my room. Well, now ex-room.
All the memories in this room flooded over me like a tidal wave. Sleepovers with Luke from when we were 12, playdates from when we were 6, going on throughout our lives. From when we stole the beer from the liquor store that one day when we were 16 going on 17. I hated the odd taste of the alcohol, and I never drank again. He slept over that night. He said his mother would freak if she smelt the alcohol from his body. We just stayed up all night and talked. Nothing more, nothing less.
Looking at the empty room made my eyes glossy, and I shook my head and rushed out of the room, and started walking down the carpet stairs. I took my time, considering this is the last time I'll ever walk down them.
I sigh, and place the boxes that were in my hands onto the table in the kitchen. I looked outside as Luke was helping my mom put the boxes in the moving truck. That truck would eventually take the boxes to a separate plane that would fly them to the U.S.
I walked down the empty hallway, looking at the bathrooms and Mom and Dad's room. I went in their room, and sat on their mattress. I laid down and stared at the ceiling, wondering what the future holds for me.
Will I have a future with Luke? Will I marry Luke. That's a long shot, a voice in my head told me. Sure, me and Luke will be best friends forever, but there's no guarantee that we will love each other the way we do now in twenty years.
"Jess, you coming?" Luke yelled into the house. He grabbed the boxes that were on the table, and took them outside to the moving truck.
"Yeah. I'm coming," I whispered.
I took one last look at my old house from the inside, then stepped outside. The warm australian weather hit me like a brick, but I'm used to it. I stepped back, and looked at my house from the outside. It was an average sized house. A basement, a bottom floor and an upstairs floor. I smiled at the house. I looked away, knowing if I stared at it any longer I would start crying, again.
"SHOTGUNNNN," Luke hollered. I rolled my eyes at his silliness.
"Actually, Luke, can you sit next to me?" I asked, fiddling with my fingers.
"Yeah, of course baby," He smiled, getting into the back of the car. My mom got into the front of the car, waiting for the truck to move so we could leave.
She looked back at me, and I looked into her eyes, and they were just as glossy as mine.
"You ready?" She whispered.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I answered.
I looked over to Luke, who smiled at me. I saw a tear fall from his right eye, and I wiped it with my thumb. He intertwined our fingers, and I leaned on his chest. The sweet sound of his heart beating made my heart flutter, but also break because I wouldn't be hearing this sound for a long time.
I started to cry, while Luke twirled my hair with his index finger. He tried to stay strong, I know him, but he finally let loose and started to cry also.
"We're messes," I said, laughing.
"Messier than Messi," He remarked, laughing lightly.
The truck pulled out of the driveway and my mom started to back up. I looked at my house that I lived in for all my life, and I watched it pass me by.
I'm never going to see that house again. And soon, I hate to say it, but I might never see Luke again. He laid his chin on my head, and he sniffled as we started our drive to the airport.