I was fury.
I was rage.
I was fire.
I was venom.
I was every tear that I ever spilled. I was every broken heart, broken nose, broken bone, and the fragments of my broken soul.
I was wrath.
I was ignited.
I was vengeance.
I was the power coursing through my veins. I was the potential that my future held. I was the hope that filled my heart every time a new sun arose in the sky, I was the roar pouring out of my wolf's mouth, and I was the love my new family constantly surrounded me in.
My paws felt like they had wings as we tore at the grassy floor, flying towards the prey that my wolf was damn well set on finishing. Ending. Her life and blood were mine to have today.
I had never felt more alive, more electric, more savage, and more desire than I did in that moment. It courses through my veins like tendrils of lightning and powered my paws as I ran.
The smell of the bear's fur teased, tantalized, taunted, and tore at my senses like nothing I had ever felt before. It was like the blood pumping through its veins was humming its own tune, calling me, just me.
I answered the call.
I darted and drove my paws into the soft ground as I dared to challenge the female to a fight to the death. Nothing had ever felt so natural. Nothing had ever felt so right. All this time I had just wanted to be free. Free to make my own choices, to be myself, to walk without shame, and to live my damn life how I pleased. I wanted to be released from the chains of my past to start a new life. To start fresh. To be my own woman who was in control of her future.
This was my liberation.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, though. This female did not last this long in the wilderness because she was weak. You had to be savage to last so long out here where mankind's hands could never reach. She was no weakling, and my beast and I knew that she would not go down easily. Not at all.
But we didn't want her too.
We wanted the thrill of a fight, the feeling of adrenaline sizzling through our veins, the taste of blood and flesh in our mouth, and the satisfaction of a job done well. We didn't want this to be easy, and lucky for us it didn't look like it would be.
The water was bitter as my paws glided over it. My beast cared not for the cold, she cared not for any pain to come, she only cared about one thing–the bear that she charged towards after our paws hit the other side of the bank.
Before the female, drowsy as the sunshine called her to a nap, could realize what had happened my beast had pummeled into her and bit down hard on the back of her rear leg, on her Tibia bone which crunched a bit as her teeth clamped down hard on it. We quickly released and darted away, out of range for her to swipe at us.
She was pissed.
She quickly got to her feet, shifting her weight away from the one I injured and roared at me. She sounded like a damn lion. My beast cared not though, the sound of her war cry only fed the fire burning in us. It fueled my fire, it certainly did not kill it.
My beast let out a bloodthirsty growl of her own that so loud, so filled with a cold storm of vehemence as it rumbled off my chest, that it vibrated the ground beneath us and caused some of the wolves watching closely from the safety of the tree line to whimper.
The bear eyed me coldly before hissing out at us. A last warning.
We didn't give a rat's ass. We charged at her again, ducking her swipe and nipping at a tendon on her unharmed back leg. She stumbled a bit as she turned to snap her large teeth at us.
But my wolf was quick. Fast. Too fast for the large bear's movements that were less flexible than our own. We could do this dance all day; a tango between angry lover's.
We kept at it.
We remembered Levi's words, we had to wear her out. She was starting to get more dangerous, more violent the more and more we pissed her off. We were only getting started, but so was she.
My wolf nipped at her front paw, then darted around and raked her belly with our teeth–that one really did it. She stood on two legs and roared at us. She was huge, this female. The size alone was enough to be insanely intimidating, but my beast and I were so consumed with the hunt that it meant nothing to us.
Standing on two bad legs was stupid. My beast looked her up and down and snarled with vicious contentment.
My beast charged at her and bit at one of the two legs the bear was standing on; she bit and took it in her jaws then yanked at the tendons and bones as hard as she could. The bear came crashing down with a sickening cry, but not before she kicked us hard off her leg.
We skidded across the ground, but quickly picked ourselves up as she charged at us. She cared not for her wounds, this female was powered by her anger; anger that flooded out any pain in her body.
We were going to have to work harder.
We needed to get on top of her, on her back so we could sink our jaw into her neck or the tender flesh that connected her strong legs to her belly.
We turned and led her downstream, towards our group. My beast knew it would be safer for us the closer they were just in case this went badly.
She leaped onto a rock then jumped onto the female's back. The female cut our thigh with her long claws but we cared not. We sunk our teeth into the flesh that connected her back legs to her belly and ripped without mercy at it. We took flesh with us in that act.
The female let out an enraged growl like moan, and we quickly dug our claws into her back then pounced off of her, leaving her back with gaping wounds. We turned as she limped towards us. She was not going to quit, and we didn't expect her too. We didn't want her too.
We were bleeding, but we didn't care. Our thigh had a good sized gash in it and we had cuts all over our body, but we cared nothing about them. They would heal quickly and we had been through worse before. We would endure. We could endure.
We would fight.
We couldn't let her get her teeth on us. Her teeth would cause more serious damage to us, weaken us, potentially make us her prey instead of the other way around.
We stalked around each other. My beast eyed her up and down, contemplating her next move while the female grizzly did the same. We were two boxers in a ring circling each other as the crowd held their breath in anticipation of the first fist to fly.
She charged at us, and while we were able to take a bite out of her front leg, she knocked us hard in our ribs with her paw armed with sharp claws; sending us flying again across the ground. My beast got up quickly again and charged at her. We bit her up by her cheek, working our jaw back and forth to tear the thick flesh apart.
The bear was falling over, stumbling. We didn't let go of her though, we weren't done with such an act yet. But she was. She took her paw and threw us hard off of her, piercing her claws into the skin she had already broke
My wolf and I bit back a pained moan. We would show this female no weakness.
She was missing part of her cheek, yet it was like she was smiling with devious satisfaction at us as we laid in the grass. This infuriated my beast. She got us as blood spilled from our side and charged the bear again, but the female was smart this time; she ducked her head and sent us flying backward, slicing our front leg with her sharp teeth on the way. We landed hard on the ground with a loud 'thud' and rolled a little until we finally stopped.
The wounds were starting to heal, but blood was still coming out, and we were starting to feel their pain. I could hear Liam in the background whining and growling loudly, the male didn't like seeing us tossed around like a rag doll. We didn't either.
But we would not quit. We would back down. This was a fight we not only wanted to win, but had to win.
The bear roared again at us. Testing us to see if we would dare try and take her again.It sent us aflame. If there was one thing my beast and I didn't like, it was being looked at like a weakling.
Like prey.
Our blood wasn't just boiling it felt like lightening buzzing through as a new sense of power we found from deep inside our soul and seemed to consume us. It was addicting, like the feeling of adrenaline-laced with energy that burst like fireworks inside us. The power in my veins, the alpha blood coursing through me, powered my beast to easily get back up.
The bear eyed us up and down then started to walk slowly towards us. Very slowly. She was bleeding, hurt; it would take a while for her wounds to heal and the sight itself filled my beast and myself with pride. We did that to her.
But she was relentless. A worthy opponent. She was not just going to lay down and die, she was going to fight to the bitter end, and for that, my beast and I respected her in a way.
But this bear was about to learn a lesson, a classic chapter in the 'Book of Levi.'
This bear was going to learn that she as not on the very top of the food chain out here; that she was not the baddest beast in town, not the one whose roars would make the forest kneel, and certainly not the one who I would submit to.
She was not the one who would make the forest tremble, nor the ones that caused the small critters of the forrest floor to flee with gut wrenching fear upon the sight. She was not the one other females would respect and males would desire. She was no longer none of these things.
No. This bear was about to learn who to true alpha female of this forest was, whose blood held the power that made weaker species tremble, and whose jaws could giveth and taketh away life.
My beast licked her lips and started to walk in a large arc. Eyeing the female as she approached us with new found resolve.
The bear charged us, but my beast was too smart for her, too cunning.
She leaped and landed crisscross on the bear then sunk her teeth right into the soft flesh of her belly. My beast would show no mercy to this bear because we damn well knew she would show none to us. She ripped at the bear's belly and raked her claws hard across it, drawing another painful cry from the bear as her tender flesh was shredded.
We jumped off but only turn quickly and ran under her legs. My beast caught the bear off guard and used the opportunity to take a large bite out of what would be her armpit. It was a tender flesh that caused the bear to buck violently. We ripped the flesh with us as we tore away from her, out of the way before her rage could end us.
She swiped her paw, though, as we ran and caught the flesh of our back. My beast stumbled and skidded into the shallows of the water. Blood started to run with the cool water that the bear once hunted from. Blood that we knew would heel, but that didn't mean that spilling it didn't hurt.
The water ran red from my wounds; it would be running red later with her's.
My beast rose up quickly as the bear roared at us again, snapping her jaws like a maniac in a desperate attempt to ward us away.
We had enough of her games.
It was in that moment that it clicked in our brain. It was a notion, a thought, a light bulb that sparked to life and caressed my brain with what I knew would change my beast and I forever.
We had to do this together. This was not my beast's fight, this was not my fight, this was our fight. This was a fight that belonged to both fur and skin and would take both fur and skin to win.
We had to rely on each other. Work together and trust each other so this bear would not get the best of us. We were a team, she and I, and teams always worked best when they worked together.
My beast and I were not perfect, but together we complimented each other in the most perfect way. My beast growled in agreement as the warmth and strength of her love, her devotion, her loyalty, and her power seemed to bind itself deeper into my soul.
We were formidable, fearless, and fantastically fierce together. I knew from this moment on that our bond would never be the same, it would be stronger. It felt like her DNA and mine were bound together so tightly, so strong like iron. It was from this moment on that I let go of my old life. I let go of the fear, the feeling of shame, the feeling of helplessness and self-pity that was toxic like poison. I let it all go and set fire to it without even shedding a tear. I would never forget where I came from, but it no longer had power over me.
I was done with it.
I was done with it and it felt like I had freed myself from some invisible irons that bound me down. Irons that had kept me from moving on, tethering me to the pain of my old life to be relived over and over and over again.
My soul felt stronger and more full of life, and my beast, well my beast and I felt like every step we took, we stepped away from the old and embraced the new. Embraced who we are.
We were a werewolf. An alpha female. We were no weakling, and we were in control of our fate–our destiny.
My beast slowly stepped forward and let me come forward. It was time to show this bear who she was truly dealing with.
I shifted back into my skin, an action that seemed to draw a complete silence from the forest. The bear just gawked at me before its eyes flashed with rage. I snarled at it bitterly and with so much venom that I could detect a faint wince from her when the sound hit her ears.
She charged at us again and this time we did not hesitate. We ran on our two legs towards her. Towards the prey that made our tongue wet with desire for her flesh.
Before she could even jump into the air I sprang up and shifted back into my fur. I shifted and crashed straight into her and sunk my teeth deep in her neck.
My beast was ruthless. The bear clawed at my back but we didn't care. We chomped and chomped and chomped until she fell to the ground with limp paws that could do no more with all the blood they lost.
We stepped away from her and eyed her cautiously. She wasn't dead yet, but the gash in her neck was bleeding out quickly. Still, she flailed like a beached whale. She tried to move her limbs that were succumbing to blood loss, but she failed miserably.
My beast stepped forward after her flailing quieted down a little and went for her throat again to end her; she snapped at us, a last attempt, and we were quick to move away before her jaws could get us.
We had enough.
My beast growled at her then struck quickly at the bear, ripping her eye out of her socket with her teeth and swallowing it whole. The female cried out with insane desperation. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do about it.
My beast licked her lips then tore into her belly. We would have killed the female quickly, but after she snapped at us we tossed what was left of our grace out the window.
We dug into her chest and clawed through the thick layers of fat and muscle that protected her chest cavity. She had eaten well over the winter. The layers of fat and muscle we dug through were proof of that.
She roared one last time, gurgled and sloppy, then tried to swipe at us. My beast pulled out of her chest then snarled maliciously at her and snapped at her with her sharp teeth and snout that was soaking wet with the bear's blood, shutting her cries quickly up. She was going to damn well lay there and die because we told her too.
We went back to digging in the female's chest. I stepped back a bit and let my beast have more of this moment, this moment that was driven insanely by her instincts.
She clawed at the ribs then pulled them apart with her teeth. Tossing them our of her way until she could fit her snout through a decent sized hole she had created. She reached in and bit down on something tough, like a muscle, then ripped it out.
The heart.
She backed away then started walking; holding the heart in her mouth and letting the blood create a tiny trail of red as she walked.
Levi and some of the other's stepped out of the tree line. His beast walked forward and eyed mine curiously as she closed the distance between them.
She dropped the heart at his feet then sunk to her belly and backed away. She gave him her prize, what she had fought so hard for, because she wanted to. She wanted to show her alpha, and her adoptive father how much she cared and loved him. He saved her. He saved me. He saved us. He deserved more than the heart we could give him.
The male looked down at the heart then back at us. His silver eyes were swirling with pride and admiration. He nudged the heart back towards us until it hit the tips of our paws.
My beast looked at it then back at him. He growled in approval at his pup. Her heart swelled like a damn balloon. She ripped at it while the rest of our group started to slowly come out of the woods. Some of them would try to approach her kill, and she would just snarl at them; which caused them to retreat with their tails tucked between their legs quickly.
No one was taking her kill from her.
She finished the heart then stood up and wagged her damn tail like a kid who won the oversized stuffed bear at a carnival. Levi's beast walked towards us and looked over the injuries we had accrued. There were many but we were still filled with so much adrenaline that we couldn't feel a damn thing but the elated energy from our kill.
He licked at a few of the more severe ones and helped to stir the healing process along a little more. Our father was proud of us. He was proud and so we were. We were proud of us.
We had done it, together. We would always do all things together. We were not the same girl who came on this trip, no, we were much more and we knew it.
We embraced it.
Levi shifted to his skin then slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a long gray thermal that Elliot tossed him. Elliot walked slowly over to us then stroked our fur that was still soaked in blood and kissed our cheek.
My beast yipped at him and licked his hand which caused him to laugh and shake his head. He dug out a long sweatshirt and handed it to Levi who unfolded it for us. My beast let me easily come forward and shift back into my skin.
My limbs were tired and I could feel the blood sliding down my skin but I didn't give a rat's ass. I just killed a damned brown bear. A bear. Me.
Last year at this time I was too afraid to kill a spider. I had gashes and spilled blood, but not from a battle. I had lost my soul and lost myself as I bleached it all away with every lie that Marcus fed me.
I was no longer that woman. That woman was gone and a new one had been born.
I let out a sigh and let Levi slip the sweatshirt over me. It clung to my skin and immediately began to stain red from my wounds. Immediately, I was glad that Derek packed for me, I knew I had a couple fresh ones in there because of him.
I pulled it down and made sure it covered my thighs. Before I knew what was happening Levi had wrapped me in a warm hug. He was careful not to squeeze the areas that I had endured as his arms secured around me.
I hugged him back and as he kissed the top of my hair. "I am so damned proud of you girly." He pulled away and smiled at me then started shaking his head as he reached into the backpack and pulled out a couple of knives. He looked at the bear then looked at me like a dad whose kid just won the damn Olympics, and turned the knife around, handing it to me handle first. I took it from him and felt my heart swell with pride and joy. "Alright, let's go skin her. You still want a blanket?"
I walked after him and nodded. "Yes! Although I think I may have tore her up a little too much."
"Nah," Levi called over his shoulder as I caught up to him. "There's plenty of her to make you a nice blanket, and besides, the gashes will be more like decoration."
I gave him a long look then rolled my eyes as he chuckled. We walked over to the bear and Elliot followed with a few saddlebags and a duffle bag.
Levi taught me how to skin the bear, well, he mostly skinned the bear. I was too afraid of messing up and cutting it wrong. I didn't want to screw up my damn blanket, I fought way too hard for that.
We got all the meat we wanted and packed it in black trash bags that Elliot had brought. He had insulated totes packed inside the duffle bag that we stuffed them in to keep the meat cool. We tossed some ice in with them, ice that Levi had Taylor and Ben's dads bring when they picked up their sorry excuse for sons. Levi said the ice in the insulated bags should keep it cool until we got back home.
After we got all the meat Levi helped me to skin the bear enough so we could carry it back to camp. It wasn't perfect, but he said we could finish skinning it for a blanket when we got back to camp. He was a little worried about some of the gashes I had that were still oozing out a steady trickle of blood and wanted to get me back so Claire could have a look at them.
As we rolled up the skin I could help but look at the other wolves. They hadn't shifted to their skin, they waited in their fur for us. Their eyes all stuck like glue to me and watched my every move.
They looked at me in a new light. It was a mix of admiration, fear, and respect. I looked at Claire who seemed to be beaming at me while Liam's wolf eyed me with a look of desire that made my skin heat up.
I wish he would find his damned mate already. My beast agreed. We were tired of this dangerous dance between the two of us.
But mostly they looked at me like I was a new wolf, a different female. I stirred in my brain as my wolf stared inquisitively back at them. Levi looked at me then back at them then chuckled.
"What?" I asked as we tied the rolled up skin together.
He shook his head as we laid it on a black trash bag and rolled it up. "Don't you see girl?"
"See what?" I looked back at his knowing eyes.
He sighed and shook his head then handed the black bundle to Elliot who gave me a playful wink. "You're not a little girl to them anymore, girly. Not the human who somehow survived the turn. They see you for what you are, an alpha female who's proven her rank." Levi shrugged a little as we stood up. "They also may be a little fearful. You did a real number to that bear. I'll let you watch the video, Elliot recorded the whole damn thing on his iPhone."
"What?!"
Elliot shrugged as he zipped the duffle shut. "Sorry not sorry," he said with a sing-song voice.
I let out a breathy laugh and shook my head then started to help Levi secure the saddlebags, with the extra meat, shut. Once we got everything secure, we shifted back into our fur. Levi had Elliot put the saddlebags on him, he didn't want my back to get torn up more than it already had.
Everyone in the group yipped at me as I walked towards them. Claire trotted forward and rubbed her cheek against me then started to look over my wounds. She eyed the rest and sighed. Her motherly nature could not be held back.
Lander nipped at me playfully as we trotted back to camp and rubbed his cheek against mine. He looked back at Levi then to me and nodded.
We made it back to camp in pretty good time. I shifted back to my skin; it felt like the bandage of adrenaline was starting to wear off. My wounds were not insanely painful, but they were definitely not fun.
Elliot slipped a new sweatshirt over me as some of the others shifted as well into their skin. "I'm going to throw your tent up. You should sleep in your skin tonight. You'll heal faster that way."
I nodded quickly as Levi walked over to me while he pulled on his thermal. "Go let Claire take a look at you. I think Lander's got a first aid kit over there."
"What about the skin?"
"I can help him, Char," Lander replied quickly. He wrapped me in a gentle hug and ruffled my hair. "You did good kid, real good."
"Thanks, Lander." I smiled at him before he turned to Levi who was pulling out the knives again.
Elliot walked with me over to Claire who was pulling a long thermal, almost like a dress, over her body. She smoothed it out then turned to me with a beaming smile.
She walked quickly to me and wrapped her arms around me then kissed and nuzzled my cheek. I returned the hug and let my wolf bask in the motherly love she was giving us. It warmed our heart and soul down to the core. "I am so proud of you."
I sighed and nodded against her chest. "Thank you."
She pulled away slowly and looked me over. "Alright, let's get you cleaned up. There's stream where we can wash the blood out of your hair."
I smiled and linked my arm in hers. "It's not so bad, I mean it's like a new trend, right?"
She laughed as we headed out into the forest. "You are something Charlotte, the moon has big plans for you, I can feel it."
I sighed and looked back to camp where Levi and Lander were stringing up the skin so they could skin it properly. I looked over at her and nodded. "We'll see."
She smiled and kissed my forehead. "Yes, we certainly will."