He realises his mistake, in this your dad realises his mistake and how he handles this seeing you this is from his point of view, each dad has some depression not all depressions are the same each is different, a warning some parts might be a bit sad for what they want to do from guilt you have been warned
Ciel
I can't believe I didn't believe her, why did I let what I saw be what I believed I should have known (name) wouldn't have done that to a person, and if she had of done it would have been for a good reason Sebastian's right that girl is like trancy and her father just lets her get away with it perhaps there very distant relatives
As I was out in London I saw (name) she was with lucy and ed, she must have gone to her grandparents it's the only other place she knows besides the manor, I could see she was hurt her smile was a fake one like I used to do she hadn't seen me but I knew she was safe that puts my mind at ease a little
I just watched her (eye colour) eyes where red from crying probably, why I wouldn't believe her she's putting on an act for them so they won't worry, I'm no father to her I don't know how to make it up to her or where to start
I just sit in my office or in my room just doing work from when I get up until I go sleep it seems everyone is worried about me even Sebastian, in all the years he's served me he's worried (name) doesn't know about our contract her mother knew she accepted it, but worried (name) wouldn't know me
It's ironic her biggest fear is now the other way around (name) wouldn't know her, I broke my promise to her I said I would protect her and never let her be hurt or sad and I did the last part, I hurt her more than I can imagine and I made her sad I sit in my study thinking what to do next but nothing comes to mind
I look at her note I've read and re read it thousands of times day after day the words wrote here hurt me most, she hates me the one thing I didn't ever want her to do is hate me and now she dose, if I was (name) I don't know what I would have done she's just like her mother strong, but me I don't know I broke down and let everything out the last time I'd done this was when I learned (mothers name) had died
Sebastian heard me and entered he couldn't calm me so he knocked me out, I'm no father (name) shouldn't have me in her life what father doesn't believe his own daughter, I'm a failure without my daughter I have no family no nothing my world is gone now I'm back in the black void of loneliness, my one ray of light is now gone just like her mother (name) doesn't deserve me no she doesn't
Sebastian
I can't believe I left it so long I should have told (name) sooner then she would still be here, it's been a month since she went my kitten I haven't seen her I'm afraid for her being alone, I know she's strong but against an older demon or experienced reaper she could get hurt or worse I don't want to lose her
As I was in London for the master I felt (names) presence I followed it to see her with someone she looked happy but her red eyes had no life to them, she was hurt by me I saw her look at me she glared her eyes flashing rose the woman said "(name) is something wrong?" (name) smiled and said "no it's nothing mother" and went, she made sure I heard that and she was with her mother she had found her
Why had (mother's name) given her to me if she was doing ok? even though (name) is a demon she still needs human food since she is young, it looks like she hasn't been eating she won't die but it hurts me to see her like that and to know, I lost the one thing that is more precious to me than any soul or contract my daughter my flesh and blood
I returned to the manor and went to (names) room it is still the same untouched I'm no father, I've been alive for 1000's of years but still I hurt her it's been a month since she left and the others have noticed and ask where she is, I don't say I'm a failure as a father she's right I should have sat her down and talked to her about her mother but no I didn't
Alois
I refuse to leave the manor what's the point if my princess isn't with me, I don't even know if she's safe? (name) doesn't know many people, in the end, Claude drags me out I growl and say "why the bloody hell did you bring me here?" Claude says "it is not healthy to be inside all the time, your highness"
As I walk pass I hear "stop it grandfather that tickles" that voice it sounds like, I stop and look to see (name) (mothers name) and two others (mothers name) said "father I think (name) can't take anymore" (name) ran to (mothers name) she hugged her and said "thank you mother, don't let him get me, grandmother help" she's laughing and smiling she found her mother
(name) sees me she glares at me with so much anger hatred and sadness is it because she misses me? or the sadness I've caused her? god I'm a bloody fool I say "let's go, Claude," he bows we return to the manor, I lock myself in my room and trash it I sit against my bed running my hands through my hair, god I'm a bloody fool its clear she hates me she's forgotten about me and refuses to acknowledge me anymore, maybe I should just die that should make her happy that's all I want for (name) my princess is her happiness
Claude
(name) is being childish she was more than happy before but since that dam woman her so-called mother came, she heard everything and now she's gone his highness wants me to spy on lord phantomhive so I am going to, as I watch I hear "Alex can you help me" that's, I look from the trees and see (name) she's with that crows son she has disobeyed me
Soon Michaelis comes if he so much as lays a finger on her I will kill him, (name) shows him he smiles and says "well done (name) your skills are improving" she smiles and hugs him Michaelis pats her head, why is she with him? (name) says "you're lucky Alex," he says "why is that (name)?" she says "because your dads so nice and kind, he praise you I mean mines heartless he may be my father but yours acts like one mine doesn't"
Sebastian says "now why don't you serve them to the master its almost time for afternoon tea" (name) nods and leaves with the boy, I return to the trancy manor and sit in (names) room, what have I done she's right I've not been a good father perhaps I was too strict on her, but the way she looked at him its
I sigh and take my glasses off and rub my eyes, how can I fix this? I need to get her back, has she found her mother? I might have to ask that damn crow how to get her back, no I will not give him that satisfaction of knowing
Grell
I can't believe I pushed my little ruby away, I just lie on the sofa my hair is no longer red I've dyed it back to that hideous brown but why should I have things bright and cheerful around me, my sunshine is gone I hear the door but don't answer I then see Ronald he says "yo Grell, whoa what happened here?" I say "she's gone my little ruby's gone, what's the point my daughters gone," Ronald says "she's ok and safe"
I bolt up and say "you know where she is tell me" Ronald puts his hands up and says "calm down, I've seen her she's fine but she's ticked off at you big time" I sigh she's really mad at me, she thinks I don't want her and never did sure I was unsure at first, but when William said she was mine I loved her from that moment
Ronald said "I know where she is at the moment" I look at him he says "why don't you get changed and go see her, even if she doesn't see you that way you know she's ok and not hurt, I know you care just give her time to calm down and I'm sure she'll come to you"
I nod I change into black I put (names) red ribbon in my hair, it's the only bit of red I will wear besides my glasses, I follow Ronald and see (name) she's smiling and laughing with (mothers name) she found her, is she staying with here?
Ronald said, "you know the woman she's with?" I nod and say "its (names) mother she looks happy with her, she doesn't need me now (name) has her mother she can look after (name) much better than me, I'm a failure as a father" I leave and return home its quiet no laughter no happiness, no welcome home dad or let me guess overtime again
I go to (names) room and lie on the bed I can't die I'm immortal but I wish I could, I don't deserve to be here I hurt my daughter I hate myself, and (name) I don't blame you in the slightest my little ruby, a few tears come out of my eyes I say "I'm sorry (name) daddy's so sorry my little ruby"
Undertaker
The little earl and his butler are here normally a joke from the butler and I'm in stitches but no, nothing can make me laugh the earl says "what's the matter, undertaker? sebastian hasn't made you laugh once and I need my information" I just hand him the paper and say "all you need to know is here" the butler says "this is serious master, he has willingly given information over without payment" the earl says "yes, Undertaker is it to do with (name)?"
I nod I miss her laugh it brightened up my day to hear it, the earl says "this must have shocked him, having (name) mad at him your jokes normally work in an instant" after they leave I close up shop and walk around
Soon I see (name) she looks sad she has no smile, I've hurt her more than ever I should have gotten her that day so she could have heard about her mother, and yet I didn't the only thing I can do is make it up to her the best I can, it won't be easy but where do I start?