"So let me get this straight. You're asking me about—"
"Shut up!" Liam exclaimed, his cheeks burning. "And don't say it. I'm already embarrassed enough about it."
"It's not embarrassing," Harry told him, laughing as he cleaned off the bakery counter. "It's normal. I just think it's funny that you asked me."
"You're gay, and you've been gay for a long time. Longer than I have. So, yes, I'm going to ask you, because of that and because you're one of my best friends."
Harry rolled his eyes. "You want me to tell you about gay sex."
"You make it sound like I'm planning on making a porno!"
"I'm not judging you. Trust me; I'm not one to judge."
Liam was about to say something else, but his mouth shut when Louis walked in. "Hey, guys. What's up?"
Liam gave Harry a glare to tell him not to say anything, but Harry laughed and said, "Liam wants a lesson in gay sex ed."
"Harry!"
Louis laughed. "I shouldn't have asked."
Liam covered his eyes in shame. "I hate you both."
"What did I do?" Louis asked in mock defense.
"You interrupted our private conversation."
"You knew I'd come here. I come here every day."
Liam rolled his eyes. "Can we just get this over with so it can never be brought up again?"
Harry stifled his laugh. "Okay, um, so when two boys love each other very much—"
"I hate you. I'm not asking where babies come from."
"No, you're just asking about a dick going in an asshole. Shut up and let me talk."
"Could you at least get me the tea, H?" Louis asked. "Because I won't be able to endure this if you don't."
"You've got a dick, don't you, Liam?"
"No. I've got a vagina. Or, even, I've got nothing. What kind of a question is that?"
Harry ignored him. "And you know what makes your dick feel good, don't you? That's all it is."
"Can I video this?" Louis asked.
"No," Liam answered, hitting his shoulder. "And you can't tell Zayn."
"He should know."
"I'm sure he'll find out soon enough, Lou," Harry said, laughing. "Look, just — start slow. You don't have to do anything more than, say, taking your clothes off. If I could go back and change pretty much everything, I would. Too fast isn't good for any relationship, no matter how close you are."
"Then what should I do?"
"I doubt you want me to go into too much detail, Li."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Go slowly. One step at a time. If something feels weird or you're unsure of anything, stop there."
Louis grinned. "I think it's funny how you know what you're talking about and I've never seen you with anyone."
"Yes, well..." Harry smiled. "I don't date people just to date them. I've got to at least like 'em a little, of course."
"That's typically how relationships work, Harry," Liam commented sarcastically.
"You're acting very rude to me, Liam. Go tell Zayn to get over here so you'll stop insulting me."
"Zayn's allowed to do what he wants after sch—"
"You guys are joined at the hip and you know it," Louis said, sipping his tea. "I'm surprised you don't feel each other's pain or something. That'd be creepy."
"You're creepy!"
"Oh, no, I'm so offended! I can't believe I ever called you my best friend!"
"Me either. You suck."
"You too."
/ / / \ \ \
"Hey, um, you guys are friends with Liam, right?"
Louis looked up from his phone and the texts from Harry. "Yeah. Something wrong?"
Sophia blushed, sitting down across from Louis and Zayn awkwardly. Louis nudged Zayn's side under the table as if to say to not say anything. It was hardly a secret that Sophia liked Liam, and most people believed Liam liked her back.
It pissed Zayn off to no end.
"No, of course not. It's just, um, I haven't really gotten to talk to him much and I... I don't know. I guess I just want to make sure he's alright."
"He's fine," Zayn said shortly.
"Oh, okay," Sophia said, looking a little nervous and a little worried. Louis felt sympathetic — she didn't even know that Liam wasn't single. "If you get a chance to see him, will you ask him to talk to me?"
Zayn muttered something inaudible under his breath. Louis smiled at her and said, "Sure."
When she smiled a little back and walked away, Zayn grimaced. "Desperate. She doesn't even know."
"If she knew, she'd back off. You know that, and Li knows that too. You could tell her that he's your boyfriend if you want it to end."
"He's mine, even if she doesn't know it," Zayn responded. "And he won't do anything with her while he's with me."
"No, but you can't stop them from talking to each other. She really likes him. Maybe he even liked her at one point."
Zayn glared at him. "I hate you."
Louis shrugged. "You can't stop her from flirting with him while she thinks he's single. You know Liam wants you to tell people. Maybe you could start with her, and get her off Li's back and make him happy. Kill two birds with one stone."
"Why don't we talk about your drama?" Zayn irritably picked at his food. "I know you've got some shit going on with Harry and with your parents, so you may as well tell me about it."
"My parents are being ignored, as usual. Harry's being amazing, as usual. There's no drama."
"Amazing? God, you're in so deep. You may as well go and confess your undying love now."
"It's not undying love. It's not even normal love. I'm seventeen. I don't even know if I'm gay. I have no idea how to figure this out."
"Ask Harry. He seems to be the all-knowing being around here."
"What does that mean?" Louis asked.
Zayn rolled his eyes. "Li's talking to him more than me. It's not that important, really. I just wonder what they talk about sometimes."
"They talk about bullshit and Liam asks for gay advice. You're not missing out on much."
"'Gay advice'?" Zayn asked, bewildered. "What the hell do those two words together in one sentence even mean?"
"You don't want to know," Louis told him truthfully. He was just glad to have his best friend back.