SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Memories by Panic! At the Disco
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I hadn't talked to Nano in forever, that's probably why it was six o'clock by the time I got home. I'd desperately tried to contact Maria since the photo incident last night, but she hadn't responded to a single text. This had made me quite upset.
I collapsed on my bunk just as the door opens. So much for getting some rest.
"Jacky!" Alex calls enthusiatically with a grin on his face. I groan and turn my head to face the wall and away from him. I hear his footsteps move closer until his long fingers tap my shoulder. "Hey, Jack. C'mon. Get up!" He whines in my ear. I groan again and shove him away from me.
He sighs dramatically from behind me, and I can picture the scowl on his face. "Are you okay?" He asks quickly.
"Fine." I mumble back with a sigh.
"Can we talk?" He asks quietly.
"No." I snap. I'm done with his bullshit, I hate hearing about him and Lisa and their stupid relationship. I hate looking at his stupid smile every time he mentions her. I hate everything that worked out in their life that didn't in mine. I hate that Stella and I are over.
"C'mon. You need to get this out. Nano texted me and said we should sit down and talk about Stella." His tone leaves no room for argument.
"Why the fuck would Nano text you?" I growl out quickly. Traitor, I think.
"Because he's concerned. We all are. You haven't been the same since you broke up, and we miss the old Jack."
"What's wrong with the new me?" I ask, dismissing their concern.
"You're tired, and quiet. You'd rather sleep than play guitar, and some random girl on the street knows more about you than we do."
I sigh. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
"And above all, Zach and Rian suck at beer pong." He adds quickly. Selfish bastard.
"Well, I don't know what to say. We broke up and that was the end of it."
He laughs from behind me. "If that was it, you'd have moved on by now. We both know that."
Fucking best friends.
"Okay. Ask your questions." I slide out of my bunk and move to sit on the couch, keeping an eye on Alex.
"What happened?"
"We broke up."
He snorts. Why does Lisa find that attractive? "No shit, Sherlock. Why?"
I swallow and feel tears cloud the corners of my eyes. "She- she wasn't into me. Didn't love me anymore, and-" I pause. This was hard.
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Four and a half fucking years. That's how long we'd been dating. She was over it in no time, but then again I guess she'd been over it for a while before we broke up. It wasn't really a big deal to her anymore.
"Hey, can we talk?" Stella asks from behind me.
I nod distractedly as my fingers fly furiously over the buttons on my Xbox controller. "Yeah, one sec. I just gotta beat this boss." I mumble quietly as I hit another button combo.
My health bar on the screen filters dangerously low as the large creature explodes into a ball of light. That was cool.
"What's up, Stells?" I ask, placing the controller on the couch beside me and turning to look at her. That's when I take in her appearance.
Her hair is in slight disarray. The strands falling down her shoulders in choppy waves. Her clothes are crumpled and wrinkly, and her feet are bare. But that's not what bothers me the most. Her makeup is running down her face in thin black lines. The skin around her eyes is blotchy and red. She's been crying.
"Jack-" she murmurs quietly.
I move to embrace her. "Shh. What's wrong." My lips move against her hair, and I feel her tears against my shirt. Then she pulls away.
"Jack," she begins again before taking a shaky breath, "Jack. It's not working anymore."
In hindsight silence probably wasn't the right answer, and neither were the tears that started to gather in the corners of my eyes. In fact, I don't think anything I did was right, 'cause she still left.
"Say something." She pleads.
I swallow the lump in my throat. "Is that what you want?" I whisper quietly.
She nods and I try to blink away the tears before she sees them.
"Then I guess that's it. Isn't it." I tell her with a sad smile. She moves to take something from her pocket and my breath catches in my throat.
No, baby, please. I think in my head as she produces a necklace. Not just any necklace, the one I bought for her seven months ago. Our four year anniversary. The delicate silver star hangs from a silver chain with a small moon overlapping it. Simple and beautiful, just like her.
She called me cheesy when I pulled that line, but I could tell she secretly liked it. I told her I was the moon. I told her I loved her and wanted us to last as long as the stars and the moon. She laughed and told me that most of the stars we saw were gone, and that's why our wishes never came true. Maybe that's why we didn't last, because I wished on a star for forever, but I was just calling to an empty sky.
"Here." She mumbles as she passes me the silver chain.
"I can't." I whisper as I close her finger back around the pendant.
She closes her eyes and looks up at me. "Jack, don't make this harder than it already is."
"It's yours Stells. You have my whole heart, I can't just take it back. Keep it. If I can't have you, I want you to have a piece of me, a memory to keep. Please." I murmur.
She looks at me once more before turning away and walking through the door.
But the idiot I call myself wouldn't let her go.
"Stella, wait!" I shout. My feet move to chase after her before my mind is comprehending what's going on.
"What." She snaps as she turns to look at me.
"Why?" I ask softly, shying away from the glint of anger in her eyes.
"It's not you. Jack, we fell out of love and it's not the same. I've known it for a while, I thought I had time to distance myself properly before we broke up. But then I met another guy, and he was into me. He was different, he wasn't like you. He's great. He treats me like I'm the only one who matters, and- I don't know. But I wanted to give him a shot, you know? We both know how unfair it would have been for us to remain in a relationship if I'm always thinking about him and not you, and I didn't want you finding out about something that wasn't even there yet. I never cheated on you, and I never would have. That's why it's over." She murmurs quietly. This time I'm too stunned to stop her from leaving.
And that's what she does.
She leaves, and never returns.
Because I lost her, she's never coming back.
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"That's harsh." Alex murmurs after a moment.
I nod, don't I know it.
"I'm sorry man. That's really rough." I know.
But truth is, I'm not sure what hurt more. The fact that she left me because she didn't love me anymore, or that I wasn't enough to make her stay.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I hate like everyone
WATTPAD RECOMMENDATION:
I Don't Want to Fall In Love by chasingtheleaf