I had the dream again that night. I hadn't had it for so long, I forgot all about it. Actually, it was similar to the first dream, the one where a man was cursed by a mermaid because he threw her egg out, but it was more of a continuation.
He was a few years older now, and still proud as ever. He had a nice car and a small house of his own, bought from the family money. A pretty girl lived with him, but she wasn't human. He didn't know that, he thought she was the love of his life even though she was a lie.
She played with magic whenever he was gone, continually bewitching him and leaving him in a dizzying sense of his former life. He was still vain, handsome, charming and whatever else people knew him as, but now there was confusion. He didn't know why he loved her when clearly he should have been looking for his mate, all he knew was that he wanted her. He did everything to make her agree to marry him, but she never would. She was just playing a game.
Then, in our first diner, which he owned, an out-of-towner strolled in, alone. She looked his age, and as vain as him. I could tell she earned it, though. She was a beautiful rebel in her own time, as women then were treated much lower than now. Walking alone in a new city made her an easy target for him to taunt, but then they locked eyes and the deed was done. Her sharp brown eyes softened and his proud mouth slacked when they came to be a foot apart. At that moment his witch girlfriend entered the diner, probably for spending cash. Even though I knew she didn't want to be with him forever, seeing him with his mate enraged her with a dangerous jealousy. You couldn't see it, what with the graceful smile plastered on her face, but I knew. She grabbed his arm, and then he was confused.
Then the dream sped up in multitudes of images as I saw him go from girl to girl, trying to figure out why he was behaving so erratically. He eventually conceded that, indeed, he accidentally laid a mermaid's curse on his family line. He tried everything to fish the mermaid back out but the waters were clear of any magical creature. Then, he decided he didn't want the out-of-towner, which was his big mistake. Being with the witch confused him and tore his mind apart, until he developed a sort of schizophrenia. She left him as soon as she found out and his poor mate came in, too late, to try put the pieces back together. The final scene was of her cradling his head in her lap, while he talked to an invisible mermaid, with their only son sleeping in a bassinet by the fire.
I woke up with a start. This was not going to happen to me. Whatever Chris thought, Zack was just a human boy that I let grow into my heart. I may have been lying to myself but I don't think anyone would want to accept the truth, with the knowledge that we might become something less than ourselves. It was scary. I used to giggle at the idea of crazies, like the ones in the movies who made everything seem more comical than real life, but that dream scared the shit out of me. I didn't want any possibility of this happening to me. I never wanted to look like him, with haunted eyes and a crazy laugh when he talked to his invisible mermaid. I didn't want to give up on Zack.
I purposely left my phone in my room, so I could better ignore his calls and texts. I didn't want to make any more rash decisions, now accepting the idea of risking my sanity. To make my day more confusing, Chris acted different around me. Casually touching my shoulder when he passed by or smiling at me from across the table, and taking care to really engage in conversation, as if he was trying to figure out every last detail of my life. He even played a little soccer with Joey and Marco, either to impress me or learn about them, either was I was secretly proud. I kept accidentally comparing him to Zack, but I found it hard since Zack never met any of my family. Nothing had to be a secret with Chris. He did live with us.
"Can we go for a walk?" He asked about an hour after playing with the boys. I was getting ready for work but decided my family owns the place, I could be late if I wanted. He led me outside, past the huge piles of crap for Tony's wedding, which was only a week away, and handing me an extra jacket as it was becoming frosty outside.
He took my hand and led me out towards his car, in which we climbed in and immediately turned on the heat.
"Thought we were going for a walk," I smirked, both my hands now resting in my lap. He smirked back.
"I thought you were probably cold," he gestured towards the heater. Chris cleared his throat and looked at me seriously. "I wanted to say sorry for ruining our date yesterday."
"It wasn't a complete disaster," I half-smiled, thinking about how great a time we were having before and during dinner. He was actually a funny guy when he wasn't serious. Kinda goofy, very witty. "I just think I'm too confused to make any rational decisions."
"I agree," He nodded, "and I just want you to know that I'm here. I'll be here."
I sucked in and nodded, trying to look anywhere but his face. This nice guy act really made him earn some serious brownie points. When I happened to look back at him, he looked sad for once, sort of like he had something more to say.
"There's going to be a meeting today, for your pack," His tone was almost melancholic. "But I don't want you to go."
My eyebrows crinkled, "why not? Isn't the pack the most important part of our lives?"
He gulped. I reached out this time and took his hands in mine, hoping I wasn't giving off the wrong signal. He spoke again, slowly this time, "They're going to announce the chosen fighters and other positions for the upcoming battle. Rita, you're one of them."
"What are you talking about?" My mind reeled. My mom warned me but girls aren't always picked. "I'm a girl."
"We've had to allow concessions." One of his hands stroked my cheek. He leaned in so far, our foreheads were touching, "I'm so sorry. I tried to talk them out of it. I tried to reason but the other Alphas agreed the list was definite. They said I wasn't the only one risking the life of my mate."
"I don't understand," I whispered.
"You barely reached the height and weight limit for our women fighters," his eyes gazed into mine, his breath was warm and minty. "If you stay with me, you won't have to hear it again, and you won't have to feel the hurt all over."
How could he sense my emotions? He did call me surprising. I closed my eyes and counted to ten.
"We both have to fight?" I asked, trying not to cry. I was being such a girl because I am one! Now both my sanity and my life were at risk, and if I wasn't careful one could lead to the other. Either way it was entirely possible for me to lead a damaged life when this was all over. Then I thought about losing Chris and my heart broke even further. In that moment my brain put two and two together. I couldn't live without Chris. Even if it meant hurting him by being with Zack, I could never let myself live if he wasn't. I tried to picture it that way for Zack, but I couldn't.
"I'm trained, my pack is trained. We're the best of the best," he grimaced. "I'll do my best to protect you out there, and train you. I don't know if I can do this though."
His voice was beginning to crack. Having a mate is a thousand times more intense than simply falling in love. You come to see them as more than a love, this is your soul mate. This is exactly who you're meant to be with and any risk to that would cause irreparable pain on your behalf. No matter what I thought I felt about Zack, I knew I loved Chris. He was kind, genuine, funny, not to mention handsome. He was charming to everyone and he tried to make everyone feel as equal as possible. He was damaged, more than me, having become Alpha at a very young age, right after his father died and married the widow of his best friend. I knew he loved me in the same way.
"I know you're confused and hurt," he whispered, putting both hands on my cheeks, "but never forget that I will protect you. I already love you."
Forgetting my decision not to make rash decisions, I kissed him. He was surprised but kissed back, passionately. Perhaps it was because we were so afraid of losing each other or because we held out for so long, but we couldn't stop.
Our kisses became a frenzy, with no thoughts of repercussions, only that we needed this. His pressed against my neck, then mine pulled at his earlobe. The car was becoming swelteringly warm, we both took our jackets off, not bothering to stop kissing in the process. His breath made my skin tingle, while his hands caressed my back and arms. Suddenly he pulled back, much to my dismay.
"We can't do this, not here and not now," His breath was uneven and his lower lip was a little swollen. I couldn't think, only breath. Why not do this now? If everything was going to happen to us, why couldn't we just let go. "I can see what you're thinking Rita."
I blushed.
"When I make love to you, I want us to be rational and romantic. We'll regret this later," he lowered the heater. "Besides, having sex in a car is really difficult."
I laughed with him and sat back, "I'm sorry. I keep leading you on, it's just... I thought about what life would be like if you were gone and I don't know if I could live. Not happily anyways. Even if I made the selfish choice to be with Zack, I won't be ok if you're dead."
"I forget how old I am with you," he chuckled huskily, "and right now, I don't care. I only care about you, no matter what you decide. I keep saying it, but I'm already in love with you."
"I love you too," I whispered. His phone rang. Well intimate moment ruined for sure now. My senses were still buzzing and my mind was on a cycle of love, loss, sanity, and life itself.
His responses were terse, and he kept sneaking worried glances at me. He hung up and looked at me again, "We're going to the Rossini house for the meeting. Only pack leaders and their families allowed, so you can spread the news to the rest of the pack, who should be waiting in their homes for news."
"So no work for me," I tried to smile. We listened to a random country station, neither of us changing it even when commercials came on. Our minds were preoccupied. Much less cars were there than the meeting before. I counted about one for each leading family in our pack and the leftovers were probably the other Alphas who were staying with our clan for now. We walked in behind my family, who positioned themselves between Debbie's family and Hannah's in the meeting room. I saw Mickey and his six younger siblings dutifully standing with their parents at the front, facing us. He winked at Debbie and gave me a head nod of recognition.
"We have posted our list of fighters, healers and others. Here," Alpha Rossini gestured to his wife, who handed out stacks of flyers to each of us. There was my name, beneath Tony's, under Fighters and Chris's was one of the first listed. My heart skipped a beat. Debbie was listed under Healer, lucky her. She was incredibly small, although I don't know how she'd feel about all the blood. Oh and Mickey's was also high up on the Fighters list. My dad was listed as a secondary fighter and Mom was a Caretaker for the kids and feeble who'd be left behind. Hannah wasn't on the list, but I never expected her or the boys to be. She was pregnant after all.
"We also have another announcement," Mickey's dad shouted over the din of people's chatter. Everyone silenced in an instant. "Our alliances with the witches has allowed us to have them join. We have only a handful to help, but they will be treated with as much respect as any other person here."
A group of five made their way to the front of the room. I almost fainted. Sarah, Zack, and their two roommates were up there with another girl I didn't know. I wanted to throw up. Zack gave me the most apologetic look and Sarah was biting her cheek, but I couldn't feel anything but anger towards them. The signs were there, I knew, but they could have told me! Sure, Sarah did, but not Zack. He knew what I was the whole time. He tricked me.
I wanted to faint in shame. My pack started murmuring. They recognized Zack, since everyone made it their business to know who he was. No one else knew he was a witch. My own parents gave me abashed, frightened faces. Debbie's mom looked like she wanted to hug me. The Rossini's said nothing.
Chris put his hand on my waist and led me away from everyone, back outside. We stood in the cold, on the porch, while I cried into his shirt. He didn't say anything, just soothingly rubbed my back. He told me. Chris was the only one who warned me but I didn't believe him. I didn't want to. Zack was a great actor. He now broke my heart twice.
"Rita!" Zack shouted. He must have run out after us. I sniffled and looked miserably at him.
"You're sick, you know that?" My voice was cracked, but I did my best to sound strong. "I told everything. I gave you almost five years of my life! I trusted you."
"Rita please," He gave Chris an exasperated look. Chris wouldn't let me go and I didn't want him to. "Rita, I love you. I didn't want to hurt you. I knew you'd be an outcast-"
"Just shut up Zackary Walters!" I shouted, uncaring of who heard. "You lied!"
"You lied too!"
"I told the truth! You let me believe the lies even when I told you everything you already knew!" I hiccuped. Chris pulled me away and stood erect, overbearingly, but still keeping his left arm around me.
"I think you should leave," his voice was threatening. Zack didn't respond. Then Debbie and Mickey ran out, although Mickey was trying to pull her back. She was a surprisingly strong midget.
Debbie gave Zack one hateful look, then slapped him hard.
"If you're gonna fight with us, you stay the hell away from her! Do you understand?" Debbie said menacingly. She looked like she wanted to change into full wolf form, but restrained herself. She dragged Mickey and me and Chris to Chris's car. She made me sit in the back with her and Mickey take the passenger seat, then ordered Chris to drive back to my house.
I laid my head on her shoulder and sobbed. She squeezed me the whole way home.
A/N: Whew! Twice in one day! Now tell me your thoughts! I know a lot happened, but I did say the story was going to speed up :). Go Debbie! Haha. I don't know when the next chapter is coming but let me tell you a secret-I've been waiting to write it. I'm aiming to write again today, but I have been pushing my homework back so we'll see. Would you forgive Zack or is Rita acting stupid?