Prologue
"Respect means success." -Don Ciro Ferrari
"Stop!" I cried out, tears flooded my face, "Give him back!"
My cousins ignored my pleas. They were far too focused on playing their stupid games to care. Left and right they passed my favorite toy around. It was the same thing every day whenever they come to my house. Bun, my bunny, was thrown across the living room roughly. I was afraid he might rip. Again and again he was hurled countless times. There was no way I could even hope to catch him. The older boys were having a blast while the others just enjoyed my torment. No matter how hard I begged their laughter channeled me out. This time Bun took a hit for the worse, literally. He had a free fall- a nose dive into my Mother's flower pots. I had no idea how to react. I wanted to kick, scream and cry, maybe all three.
"Stop!" My voice faltered. "Give back Bun!" I reached out trying to grab him. It was no use. I was smaller than all the other kids in the household. They were all bigger and taller than me. I couldn't do anything about getting Bun back.
"No way are we giving your stupid toy back!" One of the kids called out. "Yeah," another said, "We're having way too much fun." My lips quivered in defeat. There was no way I was ever getting him back.
"Come on guys' that's enough." I twisted my head in an odd angle to see Viola Leone scolding everyone for being mean to me. They blew her off, even going as far as shoving her out of their way. If I could I would have beaten their asses down for hurting Viola, but I wasn't exactly the fighting type. Instead I just shouted, "Leave her alone!"
The laughter died down. A few sniffles left my mouth. An echo of steps filled the living room but other than that, it was quiet. Leonardo Costa walked my way. I quickly tried to wipe off my face, still the tears fell. There was no way Leo was going to make fun of me crying. Not this time around at least. That seemed unlikely no matter which way you put it.
Try as I might, I could not dry my water works. I shouldn't have made an effort to help Viola when I couldn't even help myself. Today I knew I was in for it. Leo's face said it all. The other kids covered up their smirks and giggles. Still it was apparent that they were going to enjoy every moment. From the corner of my eye, I saw a look of concern on Viola's face. With his sly smile Leo strolled over. The other kids made a path just for him. With Bun in hand he dangled him in front of my face. He made it obvious that he was bigger, taller and stronger. Trying to show off his control over me, I knew better than to reach out for Bun. The time that happened wasn't something I would like to reminisce about. Instead I kept my hands in my jean pocket, head low.
"Aw, was the little baby crying?" Leo mocked in that sharp, sloppy Italian of his.
"I'm not a baby," I mumbled quietly to myself.
"What was that baby? I couldn't hear you." Leo teased. "What are you like five? What five year old boy has a stuffed animal?!"
"Nine." I replied. "I'm nine years old." It was still no use. Leo only paid attention to the things he wanted to hear. Right now, to him I was just a five year old. With all this crying I was doing now, it was no shocker. There was this struggle in me. I didn't know whether I should escape while I still can, leaving Bun and Leo's taunts behind or hold my ground. Father always told me to stand-up for myself; to prove my worth to others. No one is going to do it for me. If I didn't prove to others, I could never hope to satisfy myself. No respect means no success. That was what Father constantly told me.
The thing is Leo was scary. He was a big, scary, mean bully. I hated how he could make me feel so insignificant and worthless. There was something I wanted to tell him. Give him some quick-witted remark just to bring down his ego a notch. At least make me seem less of a victim. Do something that will show him I'm not the cry baby he and the others make me out to be. The problem was my mind was practically shut down. I couldn't see past this moment. All bodily functions were disabled. I stood there still as a pile of rocks.
"What's wrong baby Nico? Why the sad face?" Leo questioned shaking Bun right in my face.
This just brought fresh new tears to my eyes. Droplets fell on the floor. I knew I couldn't get my bunny rabbit back from Leo no matter what I do. I was just too afraid to take it from him.
"You want your bunny don't you? Well take it. I promise nothing will happen if you take him back."
This was almost too good to believe. Leo, actually willing to give me my Bun back? My hands slightly shifted from that thought. I knew a bluff when I heard one. I wasn't that stupid. Leo was a dirty liar. No surprise either, his father was the best. Looking up, Leo's devious smile turned sour. He was probably disappointed that I didn't fall for such a predictable trick. It would take a lot more than that. Besides, I've been bullied plenty enough times by him to pick up a few things. After all, my Father is the Don; I know a few things.
"Come on now! Take it!" A kid said in the background. Most likely it is one of Leo's cousins. Nothing stopped them from getting some free entertainment.
I made no effort to take Bun back. The thought of Leo turning his offer against me was too fearful. It was best to do nothing. I mumbled my apology to Bun. Hopefully he will forgive me. Leo on the other hand wasn't quite done with me yet. He pulled out of his frustration, a new scheme already formed. That sour look was promptly replaced with a crafty grin instead.
"Last chance Nico." Leo answered, switching over to English. "You sure you don't want your stupid toy anymore?"
I hung my head lower giving no response. A big mistake that was. A snipping noise jerked my head up completely. My eyes grew wide with terror; a new coat of tears decorated them. Leo was smiling brighter, his eyes reflecting joy from my own distress. In his hands weren't the safety scissors we were given at school. No, they were big boy scissors. The type people use to cut duct tape. Thick and sharp he brought it close to Bun. Leo took his time enjoying the horror he gave me. He was easing closer and closer to Bun's stuffed neck.
My eyes followed every subtle movement. There were no more tears left to shed. I was done crying and done simply watching. All sense of reason left me. I was on my own...
There was no warning, I wasn't even aware I did it. It all happened too fast. My short legs went up and as hard as I could, I kicked Leo. All my energy went into that kick. Leo sucked in his breath trying to act like the tough guy in the situation. There was no hiding it, his face said it all. With his furrowed eyebrows, eyes squinted and teeth clenched. Not to mention that funny hop he did; I did a pretty good job distracting him.
Not a second to lose, I rapidly grabbed Bun from the floor. Tossing the pair of scissors from Leo's reach I made my break for it. I dashed passing the crowed that formed around us. One of Leo's cousins blocked my way. In a panic I stopped short hoping to turn the other way instead falling down hard.
Leo recovered a lot faster than I had hoped. In an instant he was hovering over me. Running on adrenaline made me quick on my feet. I crawled swiftly under Leo. His cousin made a sprint for me. He was close but he tripped over my feet missing me. Leo crashing into his cousin not before he grabbed my arm forward. There was a tearing sound but I didn't notice. Quick as light, I sprinted out of the mess. Every ounce of strength went into escaping from Leo. Up ahead there was a small gap out of the circle. It was small enough for me to get out. In the mist of the fight the kids went into a crazed frenzy. It was the perfect time for me to save myself.
My heart pounded, my legs burned going up the staircase closet to me. In one hand tightly held was Bun. A smile crept up to me once I replayed what happened. Even still, with that small victory there is another battle. So I can't let that cloud my mind. Leo would be back sooner or later to kick my ass. Slowing my pace to a jog up the stairs I heard several feet catching up to me. I let my feet do the thinking. Leo can kick my ass later, much later. I was out of breath once I was at the end of the stairwell.
In the distance Leo grumbled some words I didn't understand. With adrenaline still pumping inside me I made haste looking for a hiding spot. Leo and a few other footsteps were drawing near. Without a second thought I opened the first door I saw. They were heavy dark oak but I managed to pull them open. The room was dark. I couldn't see a thing. I was slightly hesitant about turning on the lights but Leo made the decision for me.
"There you are you little rat!" Leo roared. I whimpered inching farther and farther back.
"Don't be afraid now," One of Leo's cousins said, "We are all friends here and we won't hurt you much."
I broke into a scurry heading straight for the wardrobe. Leo tried to grab me but missed. I hoped in the wardrobe locking it from the inside. The pounding of my heart was reaching my ears. It drowned out all other noise. Still I felt the hammering on the other side. Paying no mind to them I focused on my breathing.
Then I realized something. It was odd. Just a minute ago I could have sworn Leo was still banging on the wardrobe door. Not it was complete silence. Cautiously my hand unlocked the door. I was careful not to make a single sound. It wouldn't be a surprise if Leo were to pop up out of nowhere, still I was curious...
At first there was a blinding light but as my eyes adjusted to the setting a new wave of dread over took me. My heart dropped once I realized whose room I was in. Here in this grand wardrobe, I was within the office of the most important man in New York: my Father, the Don of the Ferrari family.
I was this close to slamming the door shut. This was bad. No more than bad. This has got to be the worst possible experience yet. I rather face Leo than face my Father, especially in his office. Under no circumstances was I allowed here, ever. I cringe at the thought of what might happen if he were to catch me. My Father was a firm man. He needed to be to run his line of business.
"Rotten kids." A familiar voice said. There was a mumble then the door was slammed shut. Nice, now there's no chance of me getting out unnoticed. My only exit was blocked off.
"Watch it Hugo," A deep, stern voice answered. It echoed, bouncing off every nook and cranny making his voice as grand and powerful as life itself. "That's family you are speaking of. Haven't I always taught you to respect family?"
I was never one to eavesdrop yet here I was. I know my place, given the circumstances I was willing to sacrifice. It seemed alright for the moment. Gently I opened the wardrobe slightly more.
I saw my big brother Hugo striding across the polished wood floors. He looks as grand as my Father. In his clean, pressed suit he has just as powerful of a presence as our Father. I clutched on Bun tighter, all focus and energy drawn to their conversation.
"Yes Father, you have." Hugo replied respectively.
"I'm sure you remember every lesson I thought you? Don't go around discarding them." Father added calmly.
Hugo nodded standing in the middle of the room in a formal manner. Father gestured him over to a nicely polished, plush chair while he seated himself across the office table. Hugo never did take a seat and instead he stood.
"Now what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you back home my son? I take the Manhattan branch is doing fine?"
Hugo was stiff. A position I never saw him in before. He was always so carefree yet at the same time engaged in his business. The very pit of my gut gave me a bad feeling. All I could do though was watch.
"The branch is thriving Father as are all the other branches we have," a faint smile traced his lips. "But I'm not here to discuss business Father."
"Oh. Is that so my son? What are you here for precisely?" Father leaned in curiously, worry settling in.
"I'm here about me Father. I'm here about me leaving the family business and trade." Hugo's words never faltered or stammered. They were strong and bold as his character and own personality. His words sounded so right, so calm, and natural even. Just like the sun rising and setting. At the same time they felt wrong, a blow not only to me but the family name.
The pause was long and brutal. Hugo added one more thing breaking the silence into a million distorted pieces.
"I don't want to live a lifestyle like this anymore."
That was it. Sort of like throwing fuel to the fire. I pulled myself out of the wardrobe doorway utterly stunned. I could not process the information let alone accept it. It was all too much. I was lost in my thoughts, misinterpretations and confusion. I blocked all other noise. I turned my face away from the drama. Father's reaction was something I never want to see.
Their harsh words ricocheted across the room flying past me all a jumble of hate, anger, disappointment and fear.
"You don't belong to this family anymore. Get out...You are not fit to be my son! You are better off dead!"
That was the last bit of the argument I managed to hear. Every other word was lost. Father tried as calmly as he could to tell Hugo to leave but his emotions got the best of him. His Italian was firmer and a lot more potent. His voice held mixed emotions. It was hard to tell exactly how he felt. But one thing was for certain, Father was angry.
I covered my mouth with one hand to muffle my crying; the other hand held Bun tighter than ever. Footsteps alerted me of someone close by. I pressed my right hand harder over my mouth, my panic bringing me to the farthest crook of the wardrobe.
"Good-bye Father." I heard Hugo say. Not a trace of emotion covered those words.
I saw Hugo's hand on the wardrobe door. My heart pounded out of my ribcage. I forgot how to breathe.
"Good-bye Nico," I froze. "Big brother will be back for you. I swear."
From his pocket a single envelope was pulled out. In one smooth movement it transferred from his hand and slipped under my feet. I dare not move.
"I love you Nico, take care." His voice was strained holding back tears, but he maintained his cool exterior.
Those were his last words before closing the office door quietly behind him. I stared at the envelope not really seeing it. Not thinking but staring. In the background my Father, the strongest person I knew cried. His soft weeps were the saddest sounds I heard. It wasn't safe for me to cry. All I could do was stare at the envelope letting my own quiet tears fall.
My brother was gone and all I could do was silently cry.
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