Remus's POV
"Look, you said we had to go out into the forest, you didn't say how long we were allowed in there for."
I absentmindedly listen to James make some form of a haphazard excuse as to why we were out all night. McGonagall berates him profusely until he smugly points out that he technically didn't break any rules. After a considerable number of minutes spent on debates and quick scans through a thick, leather bound book, she finally gives in and lets us go back up to our rooms to get ready for our first lessons.
As soon as I'm back in my room, I go to take a long shower, washing away the dirt from the forest and the vague memories of the transformation last night. Though they're faint, I find it hard to get rid of them. You'd think that I'd get used to it after all this time, but I haven't. Somehow I just can't.
Each memory seems to distort itself, moulding and transforming into bigger and more deadly versions of myself. I climb out and wrap a towel around my waist whilst trying to shake the water dockets from my messy brown hair. I wipe away the fog in the mirror and look at my face, studying it like it was the last thing left on the Earth.
I've tried to fade the scars as much as I can, but they're still there. Taunting me and making my skin look like the Grand Canyon in some areas.
I return from the shower and face the boys, all sitting on their beds and arguing quietly about something. As soon as they see me they stop talking and turn away quickly. I suspiciously look down at them, waiting until the silence became too uncomfortable to bear until I speak.
"What is it? What did I do?"
"Nothing, you didn't do anything." James reassures me. "It wasn't your fault."
"So something did happen." I interrupt and frown when they don't reply. "Well? What happened?"
Sirius hits James on the upside of his head and mutters something about how he should just have kept his mouth shut. He just replies with some smart mouthed answer about how I was going to find out eventually.
"Ok moony, so you have to promise that you don't freak out, but last night, in detention, you were about to turn when Imogen appeared. She didn't see you as a werewolf, but she did see Sirius and Peter as animals." James says slowly.
"It would've been ok if James hadn't promised that he'd explain everything to her." Sirius says sourly.
"Well, of course I'm not going to tell her everything." He says with an eye roll. "What was I supposed to say then? Pretend like this didn't happen and never bring it up again? She's a smart girl, she was going to get to the bottom of it herself, even if we didn't do something."
I sit on the edge of my bed and run my fingers through my slightly damp hair in irritation.
"Ugh, I do not want to deal with this right now. I've got to prepare for the DADA test." I huff, picking up a book and flicking through to the right chapter..
James laughs but stops as both Sirius and Peter shoot him glares.
"Sorry, it's just that it's a test on werewolves, I do think that you have to worry about failing." He says, hiding a small smile. "Ok, sorry, I'll be serious." I watch as Sirius's jaw clenched in annoyance. "What? Siriusly I promise."
Sirius gives him a deeply unimpressed look, but somehow their exchange manages to bring a ghost of a smile onto my face.
"Oh my gosh! Remus can smile! May this day forever be recorded in history as the day that Remus John Lupin actually smiled!" Sirius manages to join in and laughs, nudging me with his elbow.
We slowly drift apart, getting things sorted for the first lessons before heading down to the classroom. I take my normal seat and wait for the test, trying to not let my eyes droop shut. As soon as its placed in front of me I try my hardest to race through it so that I can relax for a bit.
I can sense Imogen writing away beside me and it's oddly comforting. I also sense when she freezes and discreetly looks up at me. I make sure to keep my eyes down, trying to look like I'm focusing on the test. My heart beats painfully and I bite the inside of my lip out of nervousness.
After what seems like hours, she looks away from me and returns to the test. I silently pray that she's still as oblivious as I would like her to be, though I don't think that's the case.
As soon as the lesson is finished she jumps out of her chair and races off down the corridor. My eyes follow her as she goes, only to be interrupted by a hand falling on my shoulder.
"What was that all about?" Peter mutters.
"No idea." I lie, trying to convince myself just as much as I'm trying to convince him. "How did you find the test?"
"Ok, bits of it were tricky but I think I did well in the end." He smiles in relief and I feel oddly proud of him.
"Good. Good." I mumble absentmindedly, my brain whirring away and thinking of a million different scenarios and ideas in my head that will never come true or are just my mind getting overworked and frantic. "Yeah, anyway, I'll catch up with you in a bit. I've just got something to do."
"Ok, do you want me to tell Professor Binns that you've gone to the medical wing."
I look at him with gratitude and relief. "Thank you so much, he won't question you, and if he does, just blame it all on me." I thank him.
"Don't worry." He grins. "Teachers hardly give me a second glance."
"Thanks." I repeat. "I owe you one."
I head off in the same direction that Imogen left and keep my eyes open for anything that might tell me exactly where she went. I look down each corridor, look in every open room that I can, until I find her.
Her head is leaning on the desk in the middle of the library as if she's exhausted and sick of the world unfurling in front of her. Scattered in a semicircle around her head, various textbooks lie with their spines up, all marked on particular pages. I try to inch my way forward to get a better look at the titles and almost knock over a precariously placed stack by my feet.
She jumps at the sudden sound and I quickly dart behind a shelf, hoping to look like an innocent student hunting for a book if she catches a glimpse of me. Through the gaps in the shelves I see her shake her head and turn back to the books, pounding her fists into her skull angrily.
She suddenly stops. Angrily throwing all the books into a pile on the desk and walking back out. I shrink back into the corner between shelves as she passes, shaking her head and mouthing something wordlessly. To me, she looks as if she's having an internal argument with herself, torn between two sides. I know all too well what that's like.
As soon as she's out of eyesight, I head over to the pile of books she was studying. I flick frantically through the pages and my stomach drops as I realise what they all have in common.
Werewolves.
She knows.
----
Aloha everyone, how are you today?
Ugh, I'm going back to school tonight, boarding school sucks at times. Anywayyyyyy I finally finished watching Captain America : Civil War and oh my good glob Tom Holland as Spiderman is beautiful. I'm mixing with ideas for a new fanfic for him. Also for QuickSilver in X-Men.
So I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, it's been half term and I've been busy with work and holidays and being sociable which is strange for me.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha I'm so tired of humans.
QOTD : what's all your schools like??
Mines good on the whole but I just get so tired and frustrated. I honestly sometimes think that ME + SCHOOL = ANXIETY + STRESS.
Stay awesome my little unicorns xxxxx
P.S. Did you know that I try to read every single comment you guys make on this story? Haha, some of your reactions are my lifesaver.