How to Be Cliche (A Novel)

By katrocks247

5.8M 140K 44.9K

Cli·ché: a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. Meet Pepper Ballard. In... More

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How to Be Cliché
(1) Out of Sight, Out of Mind
(2) If My Calculations Are Correct
(3) Oh No She Didn't
(4) Did I Just Say That Outloud?
(5) Barking Disease
(6) I Could Tell You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You
(7) Mr. Trinidad
(8) What Part of Human Don't You Understand?
(9) That Escalated Quickly
(10) Blue Slushies 4 Lyfe
(11) Backstreet Wolves
(12) Yah, Horsie!
(13) Blindness
(14) Fruit Loops
(15) Potato, Potato
(16) Smile, Bishes
(17) Bedazzle This, Betch!
(18) Hasta Luego, Estúpido!
(19) Wadda Ya Say?
(20) Chugga Chugga Choo-Choo
(21) Ninety-nine Percent Trinidad
(22) Balloons
(23) Grounded for the Rest of My Peppery Life
(24) I Put the "I" in Stupid
(25) Backstabbing Emo
(26) Help Me Smile
(27) Lovely Neighbors Across the Street
(28) Let's Not and Say We Did
(29) Killer Looks
(30) Vamp Hickey
(32) Confessions of a Chimpmunkaholic
(33) Nacho Business
(34) Operation
(35) Pretending
(36) Cereal Killers Are Much More Gentle
(37) A Dash of Paprika
(38) How to Rule the World
(39) Hashtag Deep
(40) The Fuzz
(41) No Me Gusta Smiley
(42) You Got Me Right in the Kangaroo

(31) Silky Briefs and the Evil Twin

89.8K 2.6K 1.1K
By katrocks247

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              I was resisting every fiber of my being by not following the evil, mysterious twin out of the room. I mean, seriously. Could he be anymore cryptic and sexy? He was totally keeping something from me. Something I had done before I had woken up in his bed, and I knew that something involved his neck...and possibly even those heated flashes of us in the bathtub...

                  I definitely had to bring that whole bathtub thing up before things got awkward.

                  Eying the bedroom door, I leafed through a few of his books in his room. Most of them were thick with heavy leather bindings and titles I couldn't understand because they were in foreign languages. My fingers fell on a book that stood out from the than the rest of them. It was thick with a dark sapphire leather cover. I pulled it off of the shelf and flipped to the first page.

                  Hunter's name was signed on the inside in beautiful calligraphy. I shut the book, staring down at it in horror and then turning my head towards the bedroom door as if Hunter would be standing there.

                  Hunter had a diary. I couldn't really imagine Hunter reading any of the books or writing in a journal. Well, mostly because he was blind... but still.

                  I ran my hand over the sapphire cover. Hunter had a diary just like I did, except his diary was huge and his handwriting was unbelievably perfect. The binding was flawless, the blue leather looked barely touched. I pressed my nose briefly against the cover. It still smelled like leather, which meant my fingers did too.

                  Then it dawned on me: Hunter probably had a whole hell of a lot to write about if the journal was so big. All of the endless possibilities of secrecy and mystery within one diary started to eat at me alive.

                  I opened the diary and flipped through some pages. My eye caught a beautiful sketch within the diary of a girl with haunting eyes. Suddenly, I felt like I was invading an extremely private side of him and shut the diary, quickly putting it back on the shelf.

                  I shook off the haunting image of the girl and explored a giant, deep maple wood dresser by Hunter's king sized bed, popping open the first drawer and getting on my tippy toes to see what was inside. Yep, it was his underwear drawer. I started to close it, when my perverted side got the best of me, and I quickly reached into the drawer.

                  I stared down at what I had in my hands.

                  Behold, briefs...  Low cut, mid-thigh, silk, black briefs to be specific. So he was a silky brief kind of guy, huh? Silky briefs... A solid choice for guys that physically moved around a lot. Good support for the manhood region, yet comfortable. Hunter did wear a lot of leather pants, though. Did he even have any room down there for silky briefs? Yes, my girly hormones quickly got the best of me. I started visualizing Hunter slipping on silky briefs after taking a long, hot, wet shower...

                  "You've been quiet, kitten."

                  I whirled around with a gasp, briefs clutched to my chest.

                   Hunter stood at the front of the room, a long-sleeved black shirt replacing his previously exposed, sculpted chest.  His short black hair had grown a bit since the first time I had met him, and was dry, meaning he had left me to go blow dry his hair. The first change in him that I noticed, was not his hair or his shirt. It was the fact when I turned around to face him, I saw that Hunter's blind eyes were on his bookshelf, where his diary was slightly sticking out over the edge of the shelf because I, Pepper Ballard, was the biggest idiot. I hadn't covered my tracks, and now, Hunter was staring right at it.

                  I thought I was seeing things. I thought, for a second, that Hunter's eyes just happened to be focus on that spot. That he didn't know. But when Hunter started walking leisurely towards the diary and pushed it back until it hit the back of the shelf with a single finger, I knew otherwise. If Hunter could see the diary dangling off of the shelf, maybe it was a full moon and he could see, just like Vlad had told me.

                  "Are you aware of what brain plasticity is?" Hunter wondered with a cynical eyebrow raise. "It's your brain's capablity to make up for the loss of one of your senses by strengthening your others. More specifically, the loss of my vision has made my sense of smell, touch, taste, and hearing impossibly perfect. I might not have my vision but I know precisely where everything is in the room. Now you know how I can ride a motorcycle. Blind guy can see through his other senses."

                   My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach and my stomach turned on like a blender, shredding my pounding heart to pieces. At that moment, I might have even muttered the F word many times under my breath. If Hunter could see through his other senses...

                  "I know what you did, Parsley."

                  I swallowed a lump in my throat, remaining silent.

                  "I know what you did because I can smell your fear, as well as the vague scent of leather on your hands. A special leather, a binding that I did myself on my... diary." The corner of his mouth lifted in a smalls snarl. "I should have known you would go through my things the first chance that you had. Had you been a stranger, let's just say you'd be in many pieces right now."

                  "I'm sorry," I quickly sputtered out, carefully trying to slip his underwear back into his drawer.

                  "Sorry doesn't really cut it, kitten." His voice was terrifyingly sweet, and his legs slowly ate up the distance between us.

                  I balled my hand into a fist. "Stay over there, Hunter. I might be a newbie at all of this fang-doggy stuff, but I'll kick your ass if I have to. Don't mess with me."

                  Hunter had moved across the room before I could even blink, now looming over me like a massive black shadow. I immediately tried to punch him in the face, but he easily secured my hands in front of me with a throaty, intimidating growl. In the process, he had ripped his underwear out of my hands and tossed it across the room. "I'm the one that you shouldn't mess with, Cinnamon," Hunter whispered huskily at my neck. "What would you do to a nosy little brat who invaded your most personal possession and your underwear?"

                  I couldn't breathe. I felt his mouth press against my neck, making my knees quiver. Hunter was angry, but it wasn't just because I had touched his things. This had to be because I denied his proposal to become his mate. "I-I think I would try and hug it out?" My eyes went wide as Hunter parted his mouth, revealing undeniably sharp fangs. "Maybe...we can write really, really angry letters to one another?" I squeaked, then, "Or play a really intense game of Scrabble?"

                  "Or maybe I can just Scrabble your throat out with my teeth!" Hunter roared, gripped my head with one meaty paw-hand, turning my face to the side and exposing my neck. He easily pinned me against the wooden dresser behind me by putting his knee firmly between my legs. "You like my knee between your legs, kitty-cat? You like that?" Hunter growled out in a  dangerously rough voice.

                  You're so close to those dang nipples! Concious screamed, which was entirely true. Hunter's piercings kept rubbing against my collar bone because of the close proximity of his chest.

                  Conscious! You're alive!

                  Damn right I'm alive, and half-doggy! Now touch those nips, girl! You've got him just where you want him! Touch those piercings as much as my--your heart desires!

                  Suddenly, Hunter faked a lunge at me with his fangs and I screamed.

                  Maybe later, Concious! He's kinda trying to eat me right now!

                  "You think you're so brave with your tight leather outfit and your blades. You're not that tough, kitten," Hunter spat in my face, gripping me by the jaw. I was too afraid he would snap my neck if I tried to move. "You might be a hybrid and a hunter by blood, but you'll never be able to be a killer. You're too weak to kill Smiley on your own. You're just a little girl in the wrong town."

                  "You hate me just because I denied your offer," I cut him off. "I get that asking me to be your mate is important to you people, but isn't this going a little too far?"

                  "No, I hate you for many reasons," Hunter corrected. "I hate everything about you, really. You're extremely impertinent and uncivilized. I regret giving you my blood."

                  That stung. "You're the one who's uncivilized, you crazy Alpha-male. Why did you want me to be your mate if you hate me so much? Why did you let me bite your neck? Huh? HUH?"

                  Hunter snarled a little. "You smelled nice so I wanted you as my mate. I like smells." Possibly, realizing how girly that sounded, Hunter's eyes darkened and he pressed his knee firmer between my legs, making me involuntarily gasp. "And you grabbed my dick when you were transitioning, so I let you feed off of me until it was over. It wasn't just my neck where you fed from with your mouth, you know." He grinned slowly as I let that sink it. "That's right, kitten. You're welcome for the imagery."

                  "I smelled nice and what?" I started to stutter like an idiot. "W-w-what did I grab and what did you let me feed off of?"

                  He grinned like a wolf.  "Don't get too excited. You fed from my neck and my thigh. I unfortunately still had my underwear on through the whole process. Kept my hands in the appropriate places, too. Still think I'm uncivilized?"

                  I was unable to speak. "Your thigh? I fed from your...THIGH!?"

                  "That's right, kitten. You were my little wh*re for a good two hours. Minus the sex, that is. Nevertheless, can't say it didn't feel amazing having you feed there. It was definitely more than pleasurable on my part." His wink was scary as hell. Scratch that, everything about Hunter was scary as hell when he had a mouthful of fangs. "It's a shame I'm too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a newborn, you were just so close to another beneficial area."

                  I looked down at his knee between my legs. Gentleman. Right. When I was transitioning I was a little wh*re-monkey! And Hunter encouraged it! Great, now I felt like I was going to throw up all over the place like a damn sprinkler.

                  "Stop screaming, bitch. Remember that plasticity thing I told you about? I have very sensitive ears. Don't shriek in my ear or I'll snap your little neck...again." Hunter pressed his fingers against my thigh, leaning his mouth closer towards me. "The thigh has the juiciest, most beneficial artery of them all," he hissed. "Be happy that I let you shorten your transition by feeding from there. Now, I'm hungry. Perhaps I won't kill you, but I certainly plan on at least making you scream in agony for going through my shit."

                  "Wait!"

                  Hunter paused, a low growl rattling his chest. "What is it?"

                  I was literally half-hyperventilating, half-wheezing at this point. Anything I could do to postpone those massive fangs in my neck was good to me. "Does Sin know about this? Where I fed from you?"

                  "What do you think, bitch?" Hunter spat. "He won't know anything. If you piss me off again, he won't even know that you made it through the transition because I'll drain you dry and put a stake in your chest before he gets back. Don't. Piss. Me. Off."

                  With all of my might, I tried to block out the image of me touching Hunter's thighs because my face was literally on fire with embarrassment. I took a deep breath, trying to make the situation I was in less intense and life-threatening. "Hunter. Please. Let's be reasonable here. I'm sorry that I denied your proposal, but I couldn't commit to you like that. I'm only 18, Hunter. I'm too young to be committed to anything but a college. If we got hitched, I would be a mess! I would constantly look down at the ring and start thinking about taxes, and divorce papers, and those really brutal Hollywood articles where the wife goes crazy and throws herself down the stairs--"

                  Hunter pressed his hand firmly against my mouth. "Can you just shut up for like five seconds so I can eat your neck?" He mouth then leaned in towards my neck, licking hungrily at my throbbing artery. "I've always wondered if you would taste as good as you smell. Let's hope that I stop before you pass out."

                  "Mmm!" I screamed against his hand, kicking out.

                  "Hunter." Sin's voice was surprisingly calm, controlled. He was now at the front of the room, his hands clenched at his sides and his features somehow more angular than I had ever seen them before. Although Sin had sounded relaxed, his pupils were huge and his fangs were out like a threatened animal.

                  While Hunter was distracted by his brother, I down hard on his hand and immediately tasted blood. "Ow--!" Hunter reeled back, clutched his hand, and snarled at me. "You insolent little bitch, you almost bit off my finger!"

                   I moved like lightening, leaping over Hunter's bed and putting distance between us, but he leapt over the bed as well and threw his shoulder into  me like a linebacker, slamming my back against the wall.

                  I slapped him in the face, stunning him.

                  That was a big mistake.

                  "I'll eat you for that," Hunter said, his entire mouth full of fangs like a wolf, paralyzing me entirely.

                  "HUNTER!" Sin roared.

                  "Goddamnit, Sinny!" Hunter cursed at my neck. "You always ruin my meals! Aren't you the least bit curious what she tastes like? Maybe I'll get something out of her about who killed her." He ran his fangs against my cheek. "I'll put his head on a platter for you if you tell me who it was, Parsley. But only if you let me eat your arm."

                  He started to move towards my bicep, jaws wide open like a sharks--

                  "Hunter!"Sin stopped his brother again. Sin definitely had some sort of control over Hunter that I didn't quite understand. "No, I'm not curious in the least because I don't get bent on revenge like you do," Sin began. "Now let her go, she needs to go home to her family," Sin growled out. When Hunter didn't budge, Sin raised his voice. "Let her go, or so help me God, I'll convince mother and father to lock you up again. For good. I'm serious, Hunter."

                  The air went frigid. Hunter didn't say anything for a while, just ran his fingers up and down my back underneath my shirt. I had goosebumps all over the place and a cold sweat down the back of my neck.

                  "Whatever you say, little brother," Hunter ground out tightly, winking at me. He started to pull away from me, when suddenly, he was back at my neck, his hot tongue sliding along my neck once, and his lips pressing a hard kiss on my throbbing artery. In a soft, barely audible voice, he whispered, "Full moon's in one week. Keep your window closed unless you want it doggy style, kitty."

                  "Brother, ENOUGH," Sin barked.

                  "I heard you the first time, p*ssy." Hunter gripped me by the upper arm and practically threw me at Sin.

                  Sin steadied me gently with his hands and pushed me behind him. "You alright?" he asked softly.

                  "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll just be keeping my window locked," I said hoarsely.

                  Hunter flashed that 1000 watt smile of his, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against his wooden dresser, snickering. "We'll see about that. Have fun in chipmunk town, Pepper Ballard. I expect a friendly hybrid wrestle next time we meet, so have your...rape whistle ready."

                  He does know my full name, I thought, which I quickly realized was definitely not a good thing. "How about I have my stake ready?" I shot back.

                  This time, Hunter grinned scathingly. "How quickly you gained your bravery back once Sinny-boy stood in front of you."

                  "I don't need Sin in front of me to show you who's boss." Now I was heated, shoving through Sin so that I was now in front of him. "Would you like that stake shoved up your ass or in your chest?"

                  Hunter snickered. "Careful, Sin won't always be around to toss me a bone and distract me from you."

                  I put my hands up and spun around. "Well, here's your bone. Come and get it Stevie Wonder."

                  Hunter's roared at me, startling me as he half-laughed, half-barked like a wolf.

                  "Enough. Let's go, Pepper," Sin said, taking my hand and leading me out of the room. I noticed he turned and mouthed something to Hunter. Whatever it was, Hunter let out a loud, alarming growl that was so earsplitting it was psychotic, shaking me to the bone.

                  "You better protect her from me, Sinny-boy!"

                  My legs felt like two wet strings of spaghetti all the way to Sin's car. We sat in the vehicle for a good minute or so, silent, before Sin turned to me and surprisingly gripped my hand again. "Did he hurt you?" he asked, then, "because if Hunter bit you or hurt you in any way...I don't think I'd be able to live with myself."

                  "I would tell you, Sin. Believe me, I would. But for once, I don't have the slightest idea what your brother's motive is. I'm usually pretty good at reading people, Hunter is the most unreadable, unsystematic person I've ever met. That honestly scares me. He...scares me." I then quickly added, "Don't tell him I said that or I'll cook you on the grill like the hot dog that you are."

                  I turned to the gorgeous, good twin, smiling slightly, to find him staring out through the windshield with a distant look. My smile fell. "What's wrong?" 

"I lost my brother to something monstrous a long time ago," Sin said sadly. "I should have never left you with him. Believe me, I had no other options. I had to get you food..."

                  "I understand," I whispered, fighting back tears like a wittle hybrid baby. "Dang it, is becoming a hybrid like being on my period times a million? Because these intense feelings are seriously not ok." I was trembling so hard that I thought I would rip out of my seat belt, tear through the windshield of Sin's car, and run in any direction until I passed out. "I'm fine, really. I'm...fine."

                  My mouth parted to say something else, yet nothing came out when the hair at the back of my neck stood up straight. I let out a long, shaky breath, turning my attention to the large shadowy house we were parked in front of. It was the first time I actually saw what Hunter's place looked like. It was an old, haunted-looking Victorian house with a dark, grey-ish blue color. It was then that I looked up at the third floor of the house, where a single window was lit with dim lighting, and a large shadow of a man stood, carefully watching us.

                  "Your brother is keeping something from us," I concluded, "something big, and I think that I might have found out what it was while I was transitioning. There's a part of memory that I don't forget, and that's when I apparently fed from him. I think I found something out about him that I shouldn't have and he made me forget. Or maybe...he found something out through me."

                  I thought back to what Vlad told me, praying that I hadn't blurted out what I knew about his and Hunter's history while I was transitioning.

                  Sin turned in his seat. "He made you forget something? Are you sure?"

                  "I don't know, Psycho, I don't exactly remember," I spat out, then quickly put a leash on my emotions. "I'm sorry, that must be the whole hybrid thing making me bitter. He can take away my memories, right? Vampires can do that?"

                  "No, only Alphas can. Vampires can hypnotize if they've fed from you." Sin's voice was low, distant. "Alpha's can take away memories of those that they have shared blood with." Sin shook himself. "But he wouldn't--" Sin shook himself again as if convincing himself of something, gripping his steering wheel hard. "My brother couldn't keep those memories permanently from you unless you were mated or a part of his pack. Besides, he hasn't used his Alpha powers on a woman for as long as I've known him. It's against his morals and his Alpha code to use his powers a female. If what you'll saying is true, you'll do something within a few days or weeks that will trigger those memories to come back. He knows that you'll get them back. But Pepper...I truly believe my brother wouldn't be that invasive."

                  I went back to Hunter's knee between my legs and once again thought otherwise.

                  "Riiiight," I drawled out. I shifted my gaze back up at the shadow in the window of Hunter's house. "Well, what I'm afraid of, Sin, is that you don't know this new side of your brother as much as you think you do. I think I accidently found out something about him, something big, and now he's waiting for me to remember again. Waiting..."

                  I briefly turned to Sin, unable to finish my sentence. Waiting with a stake in his hand, I wanted to say.

                  When I turned back to the house, the lights abruptly turned off in that upper window where the shadow of Hunter stood, and the property went pitch black.

                 * * * * 

AHOY!

If you guys didn't know already, I'm not submitting HTBC into the Watty Awards because I want to take my time with this one! I'm having a lot of fun writing this book, and I can't thank you guys enough for supporting this story! Please, if you have the chance, vote and comment on each chapter to help me get this story up on the rankings! (But only if you think this story deserves it!)  :)

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QUESTIONS:

1. What do you think shall happen next?

2. What do you think Hunter or any other characters are hiding?

3. Do you ship #Sepper or #Hepper?

4. Is this book turning out how you wanted it to?

5. How many clichés have you spotted so far in the book?

6. What clichés do you expect to see in this story in the future?

 p.s- I need banners! :)

                  

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