CHAPTER FOUR
Oddly enough, Saturday quickly approaches without warning. Mum and Hannah disappear to the food shop, while Dad has travelled away for a business meeting. He's frequently away from home because part of his job is speaking with other companies regarding legal services.
With my family out of the house, it just leaves Lucy and I conspiring in my bedroom alone. She lays across my bed, snuggled in with a pillow chattering about her date with Jackson. I peer into my wardrobe mirror poking and prodding my eyes with borrowed make-up from Hannah's collection.
"He tried to kiss me, but his breath stunk of chilli and cheese, so I pretended to cough. Do you think he's offended? I hope not," she says.
"Uh, I'm not really sure." I didn't know enough about him to question it.
"Should I try and kiss him? I might offer some mints beforehand."
"Just let the moment happen whenever it happens. If you really think he needs the mints, then offer him one."
"I'll try but I'm not very good at waiting." She sighs. "Speaking of waiting, are you almost done?"
"Almost there, I think." I grab a fluffy brush from the pot and begin blending the eyeshadow on my eyelid. The colours begin to blend, and it looks almost decent for me. You won't be able to see much of the makeup, but I thought I'd make more of an effort for this video.
Once I'm finished, I collect the makeup and return it to the bathroom. As I walk into the room, I catch the beaming smile on Lucy's face as she stares towards her phone.
"Is everything okay?" I ask.
She slowly sits up and discards the pillow she'd been cuddling.
"Jackson wants to meet up for lunch. Would you be okay if I left?" she questions.
I don't want to sound too excited, so I take a deep breath and then slowly nod.
"Sure, I hope you two have fun!"
"Really? You are the best!"
Lucy springs up from the bed and races towards me. I brace myself for the tight hug and squealing that quickly follows in pursuit.
Once my bones are squished to the point of almost breaking, she releases my body and whirls around the room collecting her belongings. Lucy slips on her ballet flats, scoops her bag from the desk and takes a moment to view herself in the mirror.
She combs her fingers through the ends of her hair, then turns to look at me. With a look of determination, she marches towards me.
Lucy places her hands on my shoulders and deeply gazes my eyes.
"Don't forget how amazing you are! You can overcome whatever is in front of you, you just need to want it bad enough." She gently hugs me before leaving the room.
I wander towards the wardrobe mirror and look at myself.
"You can do this," I whisper. "I know you can."
Grabbing the mask from my wardrobe, I plonk onto the vacant desk chair and shake the computer mouse. The computer boots to life and I quickly sign in. I open the webcam and then reach for the guitar. If I'm right, I've roughly got an hour to record something.
Taking one last deep breath, I hit the record button and re-adjust myself in front of the screen. I begin softly strumming the keys and let the music take over. I'm not so nervous now because the music gives me the confidence I need.
"Say it isn't hard, put it on some paper. Say it isn't easy, put it on a price. Say you're not worth it, put it on your life. Say it isn't easy, tell me how to play it," I sing.
I end the verse on a soft note, allowing for a smooth transition into the second verse which has an upbeat undertone.
"Your leaving me hanging on a broken memory. It's like you've forgotten who we were. Oh, so forgotten, yeah, so forgotten. I'm tired of playing this part, the part where you leave."
As soon as the song finishes, I end the recording and lean the guitar against the desk. Discarding the mask on the table, I sweep my hair into a bun and watch the video. For a first take, I'm impressed.
I tried a few more takes before deciding to go with the first one. It's a raw and emotional take opposed to the other versions which feel forced. I open the editing application and input the video clip.
I add in an opening and an ending slide along with a brief explanation to why it's two verses instead of a full song. Once the video is done, I start the uploading process to YouTube.
As the video uploads, I relax on the bed and watch the loading bar slowly increasing.
It's only when it's towards the very end that I hear car doors opening and slamming shut.
"Why now?" I grumble under my breath.
I peer out the window and capture the glimpse of them walking towards the house with plastic bags filled with shopping. I leap towards the bed and sigh when it's still going slow.
I open another document and pretend to be typing when Mum opens the door.
"We've got a lot of food to put away, can you come and help?" she questions.
"Sure, I'll be down in five, just writing the conclusion to my essay and I don't want to forget what I have in mind," I lie.
"No worries, Rils." She smiles.
The video only takes a couple of minutes to finish uploading – then I'm downstairs shovelling potatoes into a drawer in the cupboard. I glance towards the kitchen floor and sigh at the amount of shopping bags on the ground.
"How many people does she think we're feeding?" I whisper.
"Tell me about it," Hannah grumbles as she places more bags on the ground.
I rummage through bags to put the cold food away first. During that process, I hear high pitched squeals radiating from the loungeroom. As I go to inspect, I hear my song belting through the television speakers.
"This song is amazing!" Hannah shouts with excitement.
Without meaning to, a smile spreads across my lips. I awkwardly dance as I hop over bags in the kitchen to my own song.
When my song ends, they continue playing the music loudly. I poke my head into the lounge room and find my mother and sister dancing.
"Come dance with us," they call.
Despite shaking my head, my mother tugs on my arm and attempts to swirl me around. It's only when they start badly sing that I decide to dance with them. I awkwardly bob from side to side and throw in some ridiculous moves like the sprinkler.
I smile at the sight of my family – they don't care what they look or sound like – they are just having fun.
Life shouldn't be about looking good for everyone else, but about throwing your arms in the air and accepting the bad dance moves and the enjoyment life can bring. All you need to do is just live, and that's what I intend to start doing.
Lucy's boyfriend's name has been changed to Jackson :)