I sat in the back of Blake's car, next to the windows that were down and blasting wind through my hair. Bann, Mical, and Claudie are tailing behind us and I secretly wished I was in there with them.
Why?
Blake is blasting Friday by Rebecca Black and it wasn't even Friday, it was Sunday.
"It's Friday, Friday. Gatta get down on Friday." He screamed at passing traffic, trying to be heard over the wind circling throughout the car.
Please shut up. Please, I'm begging you.
"Gracelyn!" He yelled, "Dance, dude! This is the best song ever!" He seemed so proud of his musical choice, but I knew it was a joke. His type of music was electronic pop, so this defiantly wasn't his thing. Was it just to annoy me? If so, it's working. Blake's head bobbed to the beat in a fake love for this song, his hand bouncing on the steering wheel as he pulled into the exit.
We just got packed up to surprise Aaron at the beach and it took me about 10 minutes to persuade them into letting me sit out and just watch them swim but I had to agree on one simple task to make them shut up.
Not dress like it's suddenly winter.
I agreed for only one reason; I had tattoo makeup and it wasn't 100% waterproof, making me slightly uneasy about my choice.
I'm not completely sure why I chose to even tag along, Maybe to feel like a real teenager, but at the same time, it was a huge risk. I haven't worn a tank top in years and it felt unnatural. I felt free and out for the world to see.
Are my tattoos showing? I can't tell.
Was this a mistake? Have I just ruined my chances of finally settling down and not worrying about people trying to slit my throat? The thought made a chill run straight down my spine, a huge ball getting stuck in my throat. I've found people, actual cool people, to be as free as I want around and just thinking about leaving them behind made my heart sink.
You're becoming too comfortable, Gracelyn.
Maybe coming here wasn't the mistake. Maybe that was only the start.
Allowing myself to become too attached to people and feeling normal was the real mistake of the year.
Who am I kidding, these entire two months were a mistake and it's too late now to take it back.
✦✧✦
I followed the guys to Aaron's spot on the beach. Apparently, he always went straight to this spot because it usually wasn't crowded with hundreds of people swimming.
A floral towel and yellow umbrella were smack dab in the middle, a blue cooler with an opened beer inside the built-in cup holder. Aaron's brown hair looked darker under the shadow cast upon his head as he ate some watermelon in a bowl.
"Bro, you're such a bitch," Mical screamed at him and Aaron jumped in surprise. The guys laughed as A looked confusingly around.
"Why are you here? I wanted to celebrate alone, obviously." He took another bite of his watermelon as his eyes landed on me. He abruptly stopped his chewing and his eyes slightly widened. "Am I hallucinating or is G showing off her arms?" Claudie plopped down beside him and sighed, his long arm wrapping around his shoulders.
"No, my good sir, she is actually wearing a tank top." Blake laughed as he joined the two under the umbrella, Bann and Mical still standing in the sun. I stood awkwardly with my arms crossed, trying to act as innocently as I could.
"Why didn't you invite us? You know we love the beach." Claudie looked expectantly at Aaron, who shrugged off Mical's question. "Just gonna act naturally about it?"
"Yea. What if we wanted to see hot chicks too?" Bann's comment made me suck my lips in and take a breath through my nose.
No girls for you mister.
Mical walked toward Aaron with a hand extended toward him. "It's like the time we met Gracie." Everyone looked toward me as they smiled, except Aaron who touched his back with a grimace. The guys laughed as they plopped down next to him on the towel, leaving me alone over here, surrounded by awkwardness. "Come on. Let's go swim." Aaron rolled his eyes and took Mical's freakishly large hands, getting pulled in the direction of the water.
"Slow down dude! I'm gonna fall over and bust my nose." Mical's laugh was the last thing I heard before they were out of earshot, yet I could still see them annoying the shit out of each other.
"G, get your nice ass over here." Blake laughed as he scrambled over to me and pushed me toward the 2 other guys swarming around Aaron for food. Blake's long fingers brushed along the back of my neck, chills running straight down my spine. "Come on buzz kill. We're about to go swim." I looked at him with a sudden urgency and shook my head, sitting next to Bann.
"Awe, why not? I was going to splash you and throw you around. You know, random shit like that." Claudie pouted as he took a large bite out of his sandwich he obviously stole from Aaron's cooler. "It would be so much more fun with you there with us." His dark eyes begged me to come, like a lost puppy. It was almost impossible to resist.
But still, I shook my head and stared at my knees.
"Oh yea, at the house you said you didn't want to swim anyway." Blake extended his legs outward, his feet somehow finding my lap. "Might as well live to her requests."
Bann sat in silence as he listened in on the conversation, his eyes focused on my arm.
What, is there a bug on me? I glanced at my forearm, confused as to what he was staring at, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. I poked him lightly on the forehead and he was freed from his deep trance, his sight still lingering near my elbow.
What the hell?
"Uh, sorry. Just got lost in thought." He remarked, stealing a bite of Claudie's, or Aaron's, sandwich.
"About what? How beautiful G is and how you wanna F her?" Claudie teased. Bann's eyes widened, red forming along his cheeks and nose as the embarrassment flooded his face. With his pale skin, it took nothing for him to blush. Almost any comment brought color to his face, only some not as extreme as others. "Awe, look how cute he looks!"
"Shut up, Claudie!" He whisper yelled, shoving his face into his hands. I laughed at how embarrassed he was, even though I knew Claudie was only joking. "I swear I don't wanna fuck you G. Don't take him serious at all!" The words stung me a little, for no reason whatsoever, but I still nodded, feeling the smile sneak its way onto my lips.
Blake jumped into the awkward conversation, helping everyone out. "How about we go join the losers out there?" Claudie nodded toward him, standing up and staring towards us with a raised eyebrow.
"You coming guys?"
Bann looked at me and smiled, leaning back on his arms.
"I'm good."