JADE
It has been the most difficult 3 weeks of my life. I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained. Althea insisted that I should be the one to keep our condo unit so here I am trying to keep myself busy with work but every night when I come home, no matter how tired I am and how long my day was, I still can't keep myself from thinking about her. This whole place reminds me of her. every corner of every room.
Work seems to be a good distraction though. We got to keep our biggest account and the work is gruesome. My days are filled with brain storming, production shoots, client meetings and a lot more. but inspite the weight of all these, this is still the most difficult part of my day. when I cry myself to sleep.
Althea opted to stay at her office in Runners. She practically live there now. She said she turned her office to a make shift bedroom. I stop myself from thinking what she does there every night.
The first few days were the hardest. She drunk text or call me every night. She follows me wherever I go which got her banned from our office building. She tried to make a scene every time and even threatened me that she's going to kill herself.
I know she can't and will not commit suicide. 'yon pa e gwapong gwapo nga sya sa sarili nya. but still, I called batchi to make sure that she has someone with her and will not try to do anything stupid.
It's been a week though since I last saw her. It was at our commercial shoot location in Laguna when David called the cops on her.
Althea was a mess. She was drunk and was trying to drag me out of our tent to her car. It was raining really hard that afternoon. Halos matumba ako sa putikan sa pag kaladkad nya sa'kin. To save us from embarrassment, I went with her and we spoke.
Flashback
we were sitting inside her car.
"love please, balik na ko sa condo."
"althea, look at yourself."
"I don't know what to do anymore. please Jade, I never thought I need you this much in my life"
"until when are you gonna do this?"
"love, gusto mo ligawan kita ulit?"
"I'm not the stupid 15 year old geek that I was, thea. I've grown. salamat sa lahat ng panlolokong ginawa mo. 8 years."
She was leaning her head on the steering wheel with tears flowing on her beautiful face. Her eyes are swollen with big dark circles around them.
She attempts to hold my hand but I didn't let her.
"love..."
"Umuwi ka na. I have to go. kailangan na ko."
"NO!"
She attempted to start the engine but was too drunk to put the keys to the keyhole so I grabbed it from her.
"ALTHEA! TAMA NA!" I shouted.
We were figting for the keys when David opened the passenger door and grabbed me.
end of flashback
****************
The last time I saw her was at the back of the police mobile.
I asked Sally to make sure Althea gets home safe and dry. And everything is off the record, ofcourse.
David was insisting that I should get a restraining order. I just looked at him with cold eyes.
She's still my Althea, afterall.
Inspite everything that happened, I still do not allow them to talk badly of her.
-----------------
I was lying in the bed and trying to think of something else aside from her when I heard my phone ringing.
Althea calling...
I breathed deeply before I swiped my phone screen to answer her call.
I readied myself for another crying session when I was greeted with her cold voice.
"Hello Jade?"
I felt an all too familiar sting in my heart. But something in her voice is odd. It gives me a creepy feeling.
"Althea."
"I need to get some stuff sa vault."
"ok. I can leave your keys sa reception."
"ok, i'll drop by tomorrow after you leave. thanks."
what's up with this cold lifeless tone?
"uhmm thea... what do you need?"
"passport."
where is she going?
"i see."
"i'll also leave some docs for you."
"althea, we should split everything in half."
"i signed everything na."
"It's OUR savings, OUR investments. It wouldn't feel right to keep all of it."
silence. but i know we are both crying now.
"are you still there?" i asked.
"yes. jade, uhm, can I see you before I leave?"
I don't know what to say. I want to know where she's going and how long she will be away but I know I don't have the right to ask.
"ya I guess."
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Althea's POV.
totoo pala yung sinasabi nila na nasa huli palagi ang pagsisisi.
ang dami kong pinanghihinayangan. sana nung mahal pa ko ni love, pinakita ko rin sa kanya kung gaano sya kahalaga sa 'kin.
sana hindi ko sya niloko.
sana inalagaan ko sya.
sana hindi ako masyadong naging confident sa pagmamahal nya.
i was too complacent.
e di sana magkasama pa kami ngayon.
I tried everything that I could to win her back pero siguro talagang malalim ang sugat na binigay ko sa kanya.
For the past few weeks, wala kong ginawa kundi lunurin ang sarili ko sa alak. napapabayaan ko na ang sarili ko pati na ang negosyo ko.
nung huli kaming nagkita ni jade sa laguna, napatunayan kong hindi na nga nya ko mahal.
you see, jade is very concerned about our image. she makes sure na laging maganda ang tingin ng mga tao sa akin. sa amin. ganon talga yata ang mga advertisers. hehe.
but she allowed the cops to drag my fat ass sa police station. sa harap ng maraming tao. i knew right there and then na talagang wala na.
habang buhay ko na siguro pagsisisihan na nawala sakin si love.
after kong hindi maligo at lumaklak ng alak for several days, i decided to pull myself together at patulan tong mastering photography scholarship sa canada. matagal na rin tong nangungulit sakin e.
ayoko lang non kasi nga 6 months ang itatagal nito and syempre di naman pwedeng iwanan ko si love dito.
pero ayon na nga, ayaw nya na sa pogi :)
hindi ko masasabing tanggap ko na na wala na sya. pero talagang ganon e.
dun ko na lang siguro sisimulan ang "healing" na sinasabi ni batchi.
bukas na ang flight ko at ngayon nga magkikita kami ni love.
ewan ko ba sa sarili ko at binibigyan pa ko ng gantong torture.
di ko mapigilang malungkot habang papaakyat ako sa dati kong unit. ang dami kong ma mimiss dito.
di ko mapigilan ang maluha.
hay nako, thea! wala pa nga, naiiyak ka na.
huminga pa ko ng malalim bago mag door bell.
binuksan na ni love ang pinto.
ang ganda nya talaga.
at ang sexy.
at ang bobo ko talaga para pakawalan pa sya.
she gave me a weak smile na nagpa lundag naman sa mga daga dito sa dibdib ko.
"hi lo.. jade" sabi ko sa kanya sabay abot ng timtams at tulips na binili ko for her.
"hi. thank you. you shouldn't have.."
"ok lang, ano ka ba. diba favorite mo yan" pag putol ko sa kanya.
umupo na kami dito sa living room ng unit.
magkatabi kami ni love sa couch at di ko mapigilang mapangiti sa bango ng amoy nya.
binuksan ko ang bag ko at inabot ko sakanya ang tatlong manila envelope.
"ayan, ok na lahat yan."
"thea, we spoke about this. i told you, it wouldn't feel right to keep everything"
"and it wouldn't feel right na kunin ko pa ang mga bagay na may pinaglaanan na" sagot ko sa kanya.
this time di ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko
"diba yung sa bpi is para sana sa pagbubuntis mo at para sa magiging anak natin. yung sa bdo para dun sa retirement house sa baguio at yung kotse ikaw naman mostly nagbayad nyan tapos itong condo..."
hindi ko na natapos yung sasabihin ko dahil pumipiyok na yung boses ko na parang baklang nagbibinata.
"tama na althea, please" sagot naman ni love na umiiyak na rin.
tahimik lang kami at alam kong hindi alam ni love na bukas na agad ang alis ko at kung saan ako pupunta. mapuputol muna ang mga kamay nyan bago nya tanungin.
gusto kong isipin na ma pride lang sya kaya di sya nagtatanong pero may bumubulong sa isip ko na talgang wala lang syang pake.
"alis na ko." basag ko sa katahimikan at tumayo na ko.
"ok." buntong hininga ni love.
"mag-iingat ka palagi ha." dugtong pa nya.
"pwedeng payakap?" tanong ko dito.
"althea..." protesta pa nito pero bigla ko na lang syang hinagip at niyakap. naramdaman ko namang bumaba ang mga kamay nya sa likod ko at yumakap din sya sakin.
hindi ko mapigilang mapahagulgol sa sakit ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. umiiyak din si love.
sa yakap na yun namin sinabi ang mga bagay na hindi na namin mabigkas pa. lahat ng sakit at pagmamahal. sa mga pangit at sa mga magagandang bagay na pinagsaluhan namin. sa mga pangarap naming hindi na matutupad pa.
"i'm sorry" bulong ko sa kanya.
"sshhhhh" pagpapatahan nya sakin habang hinahagod ang likod ko.
"mahal na mahal kita. mahal na mahal." huli kong sinabi kay love bago ko pilitin ang sarili kong kumawala sa yakap nya at diretsong magtungo sa pinto palabas ng unit namin.
tbc