"And since when do you like me?" He was slowly breaking out of his shell. It was Nandini who had begun the game, but as time went by, the tables slowly turned around.
"Since forever, I don't think I should even answer that because people will call me pervert."
"There are no people here Nandini, it's just you and me."
"Ok, in that case it started with hate. You the monster used to pull my braids and call me chubby cheeks. Not one day would go by when you wouldn't tease me but then once, I slipped on stage and while everyone was laughing, only you came forward to give me a hand. That was when I started liking you, silently. "
"That was in 3rd standard Nandini, tum tabhi se?"
"Mujhe pata tha, the moment I confess you will tease me." Annoyed, she puffed her nose.
"Acha bab nahi bolunga, continue."
"It doesn't start with love, I mean in my case it didn't. At that age you don't even know what love is. I just liked you, because even though you were always angry, whenever I was in real trouble, you were the only one to help. And with time that liking only kept on increasing and then one fine day I realized, it was more than liking because I used to have these conversations with an imaginary you, I used to write page after page in my diary as if I was writing to you." She looked at him with sad eyes. "But by then you had drifted away. You hardly attended classes. You were all the time busy with music and your friends, practicing, jamming, performing. But the more our paths diverged, the deeper my feelings for you grew. Pata hi nahi chala kab hum bare ho gaye and you became this six feet ka coconut tree.... O..nono.. Rockstar. You became this heartthrob and stepped into your own league and poor me had no entry there."
Manik broke into peels of laughter. "But for some reason, you stayed 'Chubby Cheeks' for me, and your nose... that's even cuter than before." So many memories were coming alive today....his entire childhood, his restless adolescence, the happier parts of it.. he could see them play out right in front of his eyes. Should he tell her just how much he loved those chubby cheeks of her. That's why he used to pull her braids, just to be around her. And even when they grew up, he never stopped noticing her.
"Do you remember our annual days from previous years, Manik, when you used to perform with Fab 5 and I used to be part of the coordinating team?"
"Hmm" he nodded.
"My sole reason of participating was you."
He looked at her surprised.
"Because that was the only time I could stay around you. You and your friends hardly attended class, you were always bunking, jamming and practicing for performances. So I used to eagerly wait for that one month before the annual function, it used to be the best month of the year for me. I used to watch you practice with your friends, I used to see you smile and share jokes and I used to feel jealous of them because I too wanted to be a part of it. But then, there were times when I saw you sad and alone and I used to pray to God to make it alright. I don't know how many diaries I have finished writing about you, your songs, your smiles, your smirks and our little fights. "
"Thtas not fair Nandu, you were always nose deep in your books, even in the green room. I always felt like talking to you but didn't want to disturb you."
"That was just acting Manik. I couldn't have sat there ogling at you. Neither did I have friends to socialize with. I had to pretend to do something right. If only you had just called me once. And you know, every year, the day after the annual function, I used to cry buckets at home. It was like someone had snatched away a part of me. Mom and dad used to wonder why, but how could I tell them that I was missing you."
Had it not been for this calamity, he would have never known how her heart had always bled for him, just as much as his for her.
"But why did you like me in the first place? I would always bully you...I mean not exactly bully, but I never spoke to you the way a girl wants a guy to speak to her."
"yeah may be I would have been annoyed, had you spoken to everyone in that same tone. You were always so amiable with your friends and even with others, you were cordial. So I felt may be, you do it just for me, may that's your way of expressing affection." She smiled. "May be when we love someone, we can't see anything bad in them."
They say, 'You don't need a reason to love someone' because when you have to search for a reason, it isn't love. But if he still had to give a reason, it was this, that she had a telepathic connection with him. She somehow knew that the face he carried was just a mask. The real Manik was a soft, vulnerable, hurt guy who was just as sensitive inside as cool and unperturbed he appeared to the world. He laughed in the company of friends, but when he was alone and sad, it was only her who would care to drop in those anonymous pink notes to cheer him up.
"But that's not all, amongst so many other things I love the musician in you. You know I love music because of you. And it's a secret ok, don't tell it to any one, but I too had my fan girl moments around you. Every time you walked up on stage, my heart would skip a whole series of beats." She paused for a while to resume "And that day when you song firefly, I can't even express what I felt. I was too overwhelmed to react. I knew you had written it for me."
"Manik blushed. "I have your pink note Nandini. I returned in the evening to pick it."
"You did?" Her eyes gleamed like a pair of twinkling stars. "Yes, but that's not the only note I picked up. I have a whole collection of pink notes, the ones you used to leave on my desk or near my bag. I have exactly 27 of them."
"You knew it was me?" she turned pink in embarrassment. All these years she had been dropping random notes for him to pick up. She wrote one each time she felt he was sad. Each note contained a message to brighten him up but she had no idea that he knew it was her. That had never been her intention.
"And I would always wonder how you always knew what to say and when? I kept falling in love with you a little more, each time I found one. There were a few times when I faked it, just so that you write me another one of those."
Nandini looked at him in shock. This was the first time she had heard him mention the word 'love'. The customary butterflies were back, doing somersaults in her tummy. He had some sort of a tie up with butterflies, for whenever he appeared, he brought a whole bunch along.
Manik too realized what he had just blurted out in excitement. "Yes, I do love you Nandini Murthy, and I always have. Just that I have never had the courage to accept. You weren't the only one stealing glances at me, you weren't the only one writing diaries about me and 'Firefly' is not the only song I have written for you stupid."
Her eyes had turned all misty and she couldn't even say it was dust.
"But you asked me yesterday and I couldn't answer you, I am sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed someone the most. I should have..."
"I know you were there, across the street. Weren't you? Cabir told me today. I wish I had known or seen. I would have come running to you Manik because I really needed you."
"I am sorry...Nandini.." He replied, a little embarrassed.
"Mamma used to say, all things happen for a reason, even the worst of days have something good hidden in them. Had it not been for this, you wouldn't have told me any of this. Hai na..."
"May be not. it's the fear of losing you that...... "
"Then you would have taken your secrets to your grave and someone else would have taken my place." She finished his line & looked at him questioningly "If we make out of this place alive today, will you be there for me?"
"Will you still need me? We are a royal misfit Nandini, you know I am far from perfect. I have anger issues, this burden that I have been carrying along, it has eroded my innocence. It's not so easy to put up with me Nandini. I have walked straight out of darkness... "
"Who in this word is perfect Manik, neither you, nor me, infact none of us. I have grown up loving you the way you are and I am sure I will do that for the rest of my life."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I don't know about you Manik, but I have pretty much pictured my whole life with you, like what would happen if I top and what would happen if I fail, I would be your steady gf if we end up in the same college, otherwise I am ok with long distance too. And then we both have to earn something so that we could rent a small place for us, where you will sing and I will hum along. I will bake and you will help me out and we would try not to fight all the time. And then we will have two kids ... boy-boy, girl-boy or girl-girl...depends on you.. And then one day we will grow old and die together. And in between we would laugh and cry and make lots of memories......And before you counter question, things might not go the way I have planned, you might drop out of college or we may have to struggle to make ends meet or we might have one kid less or more or none at all, but I can redesign my entire life as long as you are the axis."
Manik was literally stunned. "When did you chalk out such an elaborate plan ms. Topper? " This girl had a way with words, as much as she had an ear for silence.
"Uff Manik, I am a multitasker and when it comes to you, anytime is a good time.. Even while memorizing organic equations."
"And what if we don't make it alive?"
"Are uske liye bhi hai na plan B.... we would die together and implement the same plan in heaven where my parents live."
"Has someone told you that at times you are kinda adorable."
She rolled her eyes at him. "I can read that in your eyes and on your lips..and I have already heard that in your silence Manik."
They both laughed and then Manik asked the most important question... "Do you think we really stand a chance?"
"What do you think we are doing here, risking our lives for each other."
"Our stars are flawed Nandini.."
"And thank God for that, don't you see how they planned and plotted to throw us here, like this." She made that cute pout of hers, "Uff you ask way too many questions Manik, I am hungry, do you have anything to eat?"
What you think the chances of their finding food under such a calamity would be? But then, luckily Manik had a molten 5Star in his pocket which the love birds shared under the open sky, tightly huddled together.
"Will we survive Manik?"
"Does it matter as long as we are together?"
"Hmmm... I am feeling cold." She said and he pulled her closer. It continued to rain, even as the stars came out.