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Chapter 35
My face went slack, my heart stopped beating in my chest, and I'm sure I looked like a gaping ghost. Rex's eyes were firm, they didn't dance around, or waver. They stayed connected to mine like that was the only thing keeping him from drowning.
It sure as heck was the only thinking keeping me afloat.
And he didn't take it back.
"Y-you just said..."
"I love you, and you're a fucking idiot for not realizing it."
Oh my god...
My heart didn't even hurt because he called me an idiot, it was too busy exploding from happiness. Can you overload your being with so many emotions that it could kill you? Because I think that was what was happening.
Say it back idiot. Say it back right now!
Just as I started opening my mouth, the front door burst open and Trey and Brett came storming inside. Our moment was gone, but his words sat heavily in the air. I clutched onto him like my life depended on it as his eyes flickered up to the boys.
Oh my god... He said he loved me.
It's okay if I die now God.
You can take me.
First he comes barging in here telling the cops he's my boyfriend, and now he says he loves me.
Never mind God, I forgot I'm already dead and in heaven.
The phone call was barely even a memory now.
"Princess!"
"Kid!"
The two boys shouted at the same time as they saw us curled together on the couch. I smiled at them, even though I wasn't particularly sure they were real. "Hey guys." I tried to lift my hand in a little wave, but Rex grumbled something and curled me further into his chest.
I love you.
Heart, stop with your dying on me nonsense.
"Are you okay? We waited for the heat to leave before coming in. Didn't know how serious it was." Trey asked sincerely and my heart would have warmed from the notion if it wasn't on overdrive already.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just had a little scare." I gave them a reassuring smile which they immediately relaxed at.
"Which you still hadn't gotten around to telling me about." Rex murmured into my ear as he twirled a piece of my hair around his finger.
I love you, and you're a fucking idiot for not realizing that.
Yes, yes I am an idiot, but I love you to Rex. I've always loved you.
"Right, sorry." I blushed as his words replayed over and over again in my head and I literally had to force myself from crawling into his lap and holding onto him like a monkey. If I ever thought I could let him go before, I was insane. There was no way in h-e-double hockey sticks was I ever letting him leave me now.
I reached up and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as his went tighter around my waist.
Nope, never letting go.
"They, uh... She called me today... While you were gone. I was cleaning the house and I answered the phone and it was them, and I freaked out. Panic attack an all."
That got his attention away from the boys.
He made me pull away from him. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Did you pass out again?" The worry in his eyes and the way his hands started rubbing along my arms again anxiously made the feeling inside of me bloom.
I love you.
"I'm okay. Dad got there in time to calm me down." He visibly relaxed and then pulled me swiftly back into his arms.
"Oh god Roza. I don't know what I would do if you ever had a repeat of Halloween."
Me either.
"I'm okay T', I promise." I knew right now wasn't a good time to tell him how much I loved him, to ask him if he really meant it. He never liked showing his deepest feelings in front of the boys.
"But yeah, dad calmed me down and called the cops. He's a powerful man, and has friends in the department. He swears they can't get me here."
"They can't, and they won't. Even if I have to fucking kill someone I will never let them touch you."
Oh Rex.
I was pressing my face into his neck and holding onto him like an infant before I realized it.
"Right so... everything's good here?" Trey asked kind of awkwardly as he and Brett began walking out of the living room.
Rex mumbled something to them, but I wasn't really paying attention. All I was capable of at that moment was holding on to him for dear life. A few moments of silence passed between us where I assumed the other boys had left and Rex and I just held onto each other. And in those few moments I started to doubt what I had actually heard. Whether or not I had passed out during the panic attack and this was all in my head.
It seemed too good to be true.
I pulled away first.
"Rex, did you just say-"
"Yes."
Silence.
Some more silence.
"Am I dreaming?" I finally lifted my gaze from his shirt to look at those eyes I loved so much, and my heart stopped all over again when I saw him giving me a small smile.
"No, baby."
"Oh... okay."
My brain was on the fritz, my heart was in my stomach, and my mouth didn't know how to process. His warm hands gently grabbed onto my shoulders and brought my attention back to his face. "Come on Roza, let's go to bed. It's been a stressful day, for both of us."
I frowned at that, but let him grab onto my hands and haul me to my feet. His day was stressful to? Did saying he loved me stress him out? It wasn't until he had dragged me half way up the stairs that it clicked.
He went to go see that... that... person today.
"You saw Anthony today!" I announced loudly as he pulled me onto the second floor. He shot me a questioning look over his shoulder.
"Yes Roza, that's why I wasn't with you. The only reason why." He added the second part quietly.
"How was it?"
That was a stupid question. Obviously it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Rex looked tired, more so than he did when he left this morning. Or maybe that was just because of me...
"It was... not something I plan on doing again any time soon."
I didn't bother pushing him for more answers. Now wasn't the time, and we were both exhausted.
"I-I need to take a shower." I mumbled the minute he closed the door behind us. "I need to wash today off." I felt gross, like the remnants from that women's voice were lingering on my skin.
"I know what you mean. I'll take one after you." He was shucking his jacket off and chucking it in the corner as I dragged my heavy feet into the adjoining bathroom.
He said he loved me...
I only took ten minutes in the shower, and Rex only took five after me. It always amazed me that he never took long in the bathroom. But then again, I guess guys don't do all that extra pampering and stuff.
I watched from the bed as he turned the lights out and crawled in beside me. We laid side by side, staring up at the ceiling Neither one of us touching the other, but close enough to feel the others body heat.
"You..." I could sense his head turning to face mine, but I couldn't look away from the ceiling. "You said you were my boyfriend..." The words sounded odd leaving my mouth, especially when he started chuckling.
He closed his eyes and turned his face back up to the ceiling. "Mhm."
This time I turned my head to look at his dark figure lying next to me. "Why?"
"Because I am."
My breath caught in my throat. My heart stopped beating for the thousandth time that day. I was definitely dreaming. Or dead... Probably the latter.
"W-what?" That was all my lame mind could come up with. I turned on my side and stared at him as he chuckled some more and rested his arms behind his head.
"You heard me." He mumbled like he was already drifting off into dreamland.
Oh no mister. I don't think so.
"You never asked me..." My voice trailed off as he mumbled something and turned on his other side, clearly done with the conversation.
Oh no.
"Rex Turner, you turn around and talk to me right now." I tried to make my voice as firm as I could, but the pettiness in me leaked out instead.
There was a brief moment of silence where I thought I would have to start poking him harshly in his back to get his attention, but then he let out a heavy sigh and turned to face me. His bright chestnut eyes looked over me in narrowed precision.
I gulped.
"Did I really have to ask?" His tone let me know good and well that he knew the answer to that question, and I dropped my gaze as a blush crawled up my cheeks.
"Well no... but I would have liked to have known when I suddenly got a boyfriend-"
"Suddenly? Seriously Rosalyn? You've been mine for a while now."
Oh...
I gulped and stared down at his bare chest as his words hung in the air between us.
"I-I didn't know that's how you saw us..." I felt pathetic, I really did. Like here I am laying my heart out on my sleeve, even though he's apparently been my boyfriend for a while now.
"I know. That's how I wanted it."
I blinked up at him as he reached for my hands and pressed his lips onto the back of both. My heart fluttered. "How long have you considered us..." What was the right word? "Together?" His dark eyes looked thoughtful for a minute, like he was actually trying to remember when he suddenly decided he was going to be my boyfriend... without telling me.
"Hm," He started softly, his lips brushing against the backs of my hands. "Right around the time I realized I would die for you."
Heart just died again.
What was that now? Like six times in one night?
I gulped.
"Which was?" I prompted softly. I was literally hanging on his every word, like it was the only rope in a sea of madness that kept me from drowning.
"The first night you ran after me. When you came to that street fight. When I saw you there everything in me... died. That's the only way I can explain, and I knew right then that if something were to happen to you I wouldn't..." He let out a heavy sigh before those to die for eyes blinked slowly down at me. "Well let's not worry about that, yeah?"
He drew me closer to him and pressed a kiss into my forehead before he tried to tuck me into his chest. Tried.
"Were not done talking, mister." I mumbled against the hard planes of his chest, but he only sighed.
"What else is there to talk about baby?"
Don't fall for the baby, Rose. Don't.
I poked my finger between his pecks.
"The fact that you decided to become my boyfriend without telling me! And then making me stress for months about whether or not you-" I snapped my mouth shut before the inner turmoil that had been plaguing me since I met him came pouring out of my mouth.
For some reason I felt like I had a right to be angry. Here I was tearing myself apart on the inside trying to figure out what we were, why he kept kissing me, if he liked-liked me, and we've been "together" this whole time! I've never been really mad at him before, but boy was I getting there.
"Seriously Rose, we've been more than "just friends" for a while now. That's obvious." I huffed as he pulled slightly back from my body and chuckled.
"I know that, but I didn't think you did."
"You don't honestly think I was being an over dramatic, inconsiderate, ass hole to everyone just because that's who I am, did you? I mean, that is who I am, but when it involved you... Baby, I was jealous." I frowned as he leaned forward and pressed another kiss to my forehead. He rubbed his thumb soothingly into my shoulder.
Like the weak-willed girl I was, my anger ebbed away.
"Then why wouldn't you kiss me before? I could have sworn you were going to a couple of times." He tore his dark eyes away from mine and let out a quite sigh before he pulled me gently closer to him.
"Because I wanted to, so fucking badly." He grumbled the last part, and flickered his eyes across my face before he wrapped his arm back around me. "But I couldn't. I couldn't get you wrapped up in my shithole life, and I knew, I just fucking knew, that if I kissed you that would be it. I would never be able to let you go, and I would drag you down with me..." His hand came up and he cupped my cheek gently.
"But you got wrapped up in my life anyway. You became too important to me, just by being you, and I soon realized that I would do better staying close to you then pushing you away." He murmured softly as he lowered his forehead to mine.
"At least, I thought that was best until the whole warehouse thing-"
"Rex no, don't think like that." I reached up and gripped his cheeks as his dark eyes stared down at mine. "That was bound to happen with or without me, it was just a good thing I was there. I saved you." I reminded him with a goofy smile that he chuckled at.
"Still mad about that." He grumbled, but dropped the subject anyway. He curled our hands tightly against his chest and tucked me under his chin like a child.
I loved it.
"So... were together...?" It was so weird saying it out loud, but a good weird. A good weird that I didn't know would ever be possible, couldn't have imagined ever being possible.
"Have been for a while." He mumbled against the top of my hair, and like a giddy little girl I squished my face into his neck and giggled.
Oh my god...
Rex Turner was my boyfriend...
Holy fudge.
It was quiet between us for a while after, and I knew he was trying to fall asleep, so I did to. It wasn't until dreamland almost took me that I jumped awake like I had been shocked. I totally forgot...
How in the world could I forget that?!
"Hey Rex?" I murmured into his ear since he had rested his face into the crook of my neck.
"Yeah baby flower?" His voice was sleepy, and his breathing had started to even. But I needed to say this.
"I love you too."
-&-
"Right jab... Left upper cut... dodge... Good girl."
I landed on my butt with a 'plop!'
"I don't think I want to do this anymore..." I groaned as I rubbed the thick red glove over my sore ankle.
"Nuh uh baby, you already started. Now you got to finish."
I let out an even louder groan and flopped on my back against the dirty, sweaty mat. It wasn't like I was covered in the stuff already or anything. "But I don't want to!" I whined like a toddler and began trying to tear the gloves off.
Rex's intimating, but extremely hot, figure stood over me with a look of amusement and concern both swirling on his gorgeous face. "The whole phone call, panic attack thingy isn't helping your case, my Roza. If there's one possible chance that I wouldn't be there when something bad happens I need to know you can at least defend yourself."
His reasoning was logical, but I was tired, gross, and hungry. I didn't want to do anymore stupid boxing for the day.
"But I can!" I grumbled as he placed his gloved hands on his hips and leered down at me with his beautiful body. "You said I was doing good..." I pouted like the child I was acting, but Rex only rolled his eyes.
"Not going to work, beautiful. Get up, you can do one more set."
The beautiful part had me both singing in happiness and wanting to curse at him all at the same time. Stupid boy knows how to play me.
"Come on Rex, give the girl a break. She's doing good." Trey laughed from the corner of the rink and I sent him a big smile.
"See T'! Trey's says I'm doing good and deserve a break!" I pointed my glove at his best friend, but Rex only narrowed his eyes.
"You can stop after this set."
"But Rex-" I didn't even get a chance to finish before he lunched at me.
"Ek!" I squealed and didn't even bother blocking. I just ran from the rink.
"Rosalyn!" Rex called after me as I fled the fighting arena, Trey's booming laughter echoing all around us.
I didn't get far before an excited looking Jax came bursting into the room. I screeched to a stop in front of him, one eyebrow raised as a dopy smile lit his face. "Dude, Rose, you never told me chicks workout in their underwear here! What the hell! If I had known that I would have just started coming to private gyms a long time ago!"
I rolled my eyes and placed my still gloved hands on my hips. "It's not underwear, you Neanderthal. There spandex, and sports bras. It's what most girls wear when they work out." Not including goodie-two-shoes me.
"Whatever, same diff'. It's still hot as fuck-"
"What the fuck are you talking about? Aren't you gay?"
Holy, shi-taki-mushrooms...
The look Jax sent me was one of the upmost regret, and the one I sent him was of complete horror. I didn't dare turn around to look at the vision of fury I knew was standing only a few yards behind us in the rink.
I was in trouble.
"I-I uh..." Jax shot a nervous look at me, and then at my... boyfriend, the thought alone gave me tingles, before his eyes widened in what I could only assume was terror.
I shot a nervous look over my shoulder.
Oh my god... I thought Rex was going to explode.
"I mean the, uh guys! Whew! Check out their asses in those basketball shorts! Cause' like I totally think that's hot to-" Jax was trying to save the situation, brave boy, but it was already too late.
My eyes widened when I saw the grip Rex had on the rinks ropes, his gloves long forgotten. His jaw seemed glued shut and that icy, bitterness, I hadn't seen in his eyes for a while was out for all to see.
"You better run, blondie." Trey muttered from the rink as Rex began to climb out of the rink, his eyes just looking for a fight.
"But I'm totally not into chicks-"
"Jax run!" I shouted and then shoved him out of the door he had just barged through when Rex landed on the cement floor, his hands already curling into fists.
I took off after Jax.
"Rosalyn, I swear to God-"
The door closed on Rex's beyond angry voice. I watched Jax flee the gym as I headed for the girl's locker room like... like... Honestly I don't know how fast I ran. I just ran.
The private ring's door slammed open and Rex stood fuming in the doorway, his icy eyes shifting between the workout equipment like I was hiding behind one. His eyes locked on mine as soon as I reached for the locker room's handles.
His eyes narrowed into hard slits, and for a moment, just a moment, I thought mean Rex was back to yell at me.
I ran into the locker room.
The girl's restroom at school was one thing, but surely he wouldn't come into the girl's locker room at a gym... right? I mean, what if someone was changing...?
He didn't follow me into the locker room, and I couldn't decide if the feeling in the pit of my stomach was of relief, or... sadness.
He wouldn't break up with me over this, right? I-I just found out we were together yesterday! I could feel my chest begin to clench together, could feel my breathing begin to seize out on me. If just the thought of him leaving me provoked a panic attack, I didn't want to know what would happen if he actually did.
"Breathe Rose, just breathe." I chanted softly over and over again as the water from the shower fell over my hair. Once I got out of the locker room I would go find him, and... and explain. I had to.
I couldn't lose him, especially over this.
I took longer in the locker room than I would have liked, but when I stepped out Rex was nowhere in sight. My stomach dropped. He wouldn't... leave me here right? I clutched my back pack tighter on my shoulder as I headed back toward the arena. Maybe he just went to blow off some steam-
Trey was the only one in the private, dimly lit room, and he was putting all of our training equipment away. Rex usually does that...
"He's outside." Trey called over his shoulder as I stared down at my shoe. I jumped and snapped my eyes up to him, but he wasn't even looking in my direction. "He's waiting for you on the bench, princess."
My heart jumped in my chest and I nodded at his back before turning on my heel and heading for the entrance. A relieved sigh left my lips. He hadn't left me after all.
Rex was where Trey said he was, sitting on the only bench in front of the gym. His hair was newly washed, his day clothes back on, and his work out bag resting beside him. I gulped and walked over to him.
He had his hands clasped together and resting on his knees, his head bent low like he was in deep thought. I almost didn't want to bother him, but he tensed when I stopped right next to the bench.
"I-I need to talk..." I started softly, even though he didn't look up. I wasn't sure what to say.
"Why? So you can lie to me some more?"
I froze at the harsh bite in his words, and my chest dropped as he rolled his head on his shoulders. "I-I didn't lie, Rex-"
"He's not gay."
"He's not straight either! He's mostly gay!" I was waving my hands in the air like a mad woman, even though he wouldn't look up at me.
"He's into girls, Rosalyn. And you lied to me about it."
I gripped my bag tighter. "When I told you he was gay, he was. He was in a guy only period. He's still on a guy only period. Just ask him! I'm pretty sure he's even into Trey!" I took a heavy seat next to his gym bag, those stupid unwanted tears filling my eyes.
Rex let out a heavy sigh and one of his warm hands ran through his still damp hair. "You still lied to me, and it makes me wonder what else you've lied to me about." His voice sounded sad, torn even, and it made my vision go blurry.
"Nothing! I haven't lied to you about anything! That was the only thing and it wasn't even really a lie!" I dropped my head into my hands as he turned his to look completely away from me. I felt like dying.
"I don't understand," He started slowly as he dropped his gaze back to his lap, "Why you felt like you had to... fib about him." He growled and I watched between my fingers as his hands curled into fists.
I tried to wipe a stray tear off my face and get my stupid girl emotions under control before I could speak again. "Y-you were so upset when you met him and you got all mad at me, and he was only into guys at the time so I didn't see what would be so bad about it. And I swear Rex, that he does not like me-like me at all. He's never liked me like that!"
He scoffed and I could feel my argument failing as he finally cast those hard eyes in my direction. "You didn't think Tate liked you like that either, and look what happened."
My mouth snapped shut at this words, more protests dying on my tongue. Bringing up Tate was low, even if he was right. But I'm also right about Jax. I knew I was.
Rex sighed. "Rose I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up-"
"No, it's okay. You're right." I interrupted him, but I couldn't help the tear that slipped down my cheek anyway.
Rex saw before I could swipe it away.
"Roza-"
"Jax had a family before he was in the system, just like me." I cut him off before I could hear whatever he was going to say. If he needed proof Jax and mines relationship was strictly platonic then I'll give it to him.
"And he had a little sister who worshiped the ground he walked on. He was her everything. Her big brother, her best friend, her hero... He did everything for her, protected her with his life if he had to."
Rex stayed silent as I gave the story that wasn't mine to tell, but as much as I loved Jax, I couldn't live without Rex. And that moron demanded stories for everything. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them, keeping my hand as far from his as I could.
This wasn't my story. I didn't need to be comforted.
"Someone broke into their house one night, killed his parents, killed his sister, and then stole everything valuable. It was the middle of the week, but Jax was staying at a friend's house for a field trip the next day." I heard him take a sharp inhale beside me, but I couldn't look at him. It wasn't my story, but it made me cry nonetheless.
I could barely even get the short and simple version out.
"Jax was tossed in the system where he met me, and for some psychological reason he saw me as the sister he couldn't save. He even called me her one time. I had woken him up one night at one of the home's because I had a nightmare and he just blinked and asked 'What's wrong Emma'." I clutched my knees tighter to my chest.
"So yes Rex, I'm very sure he does not like me that way."
I was upset, my body was shaking, there were tears in my eyes and if I didn't get up soon I was going to implode. I jumped to my feet and started pacing in front of the bench anxiously. Rex reached for my hand, his once hard eyes now sad.
"Roza-"
"Why should it even matter if he's gay or not!" I turned and shouted at him, my breaking point finally reached. "I love you, you jerk." And then the waterfalls started. I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes in a pathetic way to stop them from leaking as I sobbed. I hardly even noticed the pair of strong hands wrapping around my waist and pulling me onto his lap.
"Baby, I'm sorry okay? Sh." He rubbed a hand down my hair and then cradled me against his chest as I gripped at his jacket. "It doesn't matter, you're right. I'm sorry. I was just upset that you lied about it... and that you two are so close. But I'll get over it okay? I'm sorry." He rocked me gently, like he always did when I was upset and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.
"I didn't lie." I mumbled miserably against his skin. His chuckle made the nerves in my stomach ease. "But I'm sorry." I admitted and pressed a watery kiss to his jaw. "I swear I won't give you a baby lie, or fib again."
His chuckle was louder this time.
"You know what this means though now, right?"
I shook my head and pulled away from him to wipe at the water on my cheeks. The crying left as quickly as it had come. He smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss to the tip of my nose. "You can't be alone with him now-"
"Rex!"
"And," He growled, successfully shutting me up. I groaned. "I have every right to not like him, and make sure you two aren't alone together for long."
I narrowed my eyes at the amusement in his. "How exactly do you figure that?" My whole attitude and argument melted the moment he brushed those sinfully deliciously lips against mine.
I'm pretty sure I cooed out loud.
"Firstly, because you're my girlfriend."
Dead. I'm dead. Heart's not working. Bye.
"And just because he cares about you like a sister now, doesn't mean that his feelings won't change."
I rolled my eyes. "I told you the truth when I said he's mainly into guys." I grumbled, but his eyes just narrowed.
"Please baby flower? It will just make me feel better if you don't hang out with him a lot alone..."
Of course I'll do anything for him when he asks like that.
I nodded which he gave a relieved smile at. "And honestly, Rose. I don't even like those other idiot friends of mine hanging around you when I'm not there, and none of them would ever do anything to you."
True.
"What are you smiling about?" He asked with a smile of his own as I curled my cold fingers into his jacket. It was freezing outside.
"You know T', you talk a lot of stuff about your friends, but you get upset when I say you're mean to them, and I think deep down you really love those guys." I teased, even though it was the truth.
Rex rolled his beautiful eyes at me. "Keep dreaming sweetheart." I laughed and he leaned forward to kiss my chin. "I love you, Rosalyn. And that's all I need."
I hope Rex knows how to give CPR. He's gonna need to use it soon if he insists on giving me multiple heart attacks.
-&-
Hope you all enjoyed!