"Ever since that night I always had trouble talking to guys, or being comfortable, or not trying to think of those nights. If a boy would ever get too close to me, I would flinch or even close my eyes. In Bismarck, I tried to go out with a lot of guys to see if I could handle it better. Some went well and others went bad. With the some that went well, I would get them to make out with me. Everything would go okay, until they would slip their hand under my shirt, and then I would have a flashback.. Sometimes even bare skin contact sent me back to that night.. But lately there has been a few times I wouldn't think, I would feel something different. Those times have been with Cooper. His fingers have brushed against mine, he has grabbed my arm once, and one time he accidentally put his hand on my thigh. Cooper always gave me these huge butterflies in my stomach when I was talking to him, or even if I just saw him. I never had these feelings before and they were hella confusing to me. I haven't seen Cooper in about four days, and the weird thing is that I think I actually miss him walking into the diner. I guess he didn't feel the same as I did for him, figures.." I wrote in my diary and then closed the book and shoved it back under the cushion of my chair.
It's been a normal week for me: work at diner, online school, chores, and try to busy myself. On Tuesday I started working with my mom again at the Vet Clinic again. My mom owned the Vet Clinic and I used to go on calls with her all the time. I was a very quick learner and I would keep notes in my notebook I would bring with.
Seeing how my mom would treat and care for the animals inspired me to be just like my mom, a veterinarian. I loved working with animals and treating the unusual animals, like llamas.
Today and tomorrow were going to awesome! It was the first day of the Hudson Rodeo! My dad had managed to get me entered for barrels and team roping. I would be teaming roping with Taylor, who was the header and I was the heeler. Taylor also did barrels, she had a great quarter horse. Caleb would be bare backing, and Ashley would be worrying from the stands. Broncs weren't near as nerve wrecking as bulls. I didn't know if my dad would be competing today or tomorrow.
When my dad was younger he did every event, except bulls and barrels. His best event was broncs and then it was bull dogging. My dad was one of the best.
***************
As I got out of my truck I looked at myself in my extension mirror of the Dodge 3500 dually. I straightened out my black felt cowboy hat and looked at my big curls, I was satisfied. I had some dark blue jeans on and a white barrel racing shirt on, I had one of my gold belt buckles on, and some buckskin Ariat square-toed boots on.
I went back to our trailer and opened it and there stood my beautiful Pharaoh, "Hey boy." I smiled at him and scratched his head. I walked over to the other side and grabbed his saddle blanket and his saddle.
I looked at Pharaoh's customized breast collar and ran my fingers over it. It was hand carved leather with turquoise and white and gold studded diamonds. I was only getting ready now because I had to sing the national anthem.
I was extremely nervous to sing, even though I had done it a number of times. I loved doing it though because I loved holding the Flag and then having Pharaoh ride along the gates of the arena was the best feeling in the world. Along with the crowd's cheers and yells.
I had Pharaoh's reins in my right hand and started walking him to the back gates of the arena. I watched the bleachers start to fill up and my heart started racing a bit, but I had done this plenty of times, why was I so nervous today? "Hey DaKota!" I heard a voice from behind me, I turned my head and saw Mason jogging towards me.
"Oh boy." I mumbled to myself and waited for him to get to my side. "Hey Mason, what are you doing here?" I say to him, and he lets out a breath from just jogging.
"Well I thought I'd make an appearance, but then I heard you were competing again, so I decided to come early so I could hear you sing." He says, trying to be cute, but I didn't by into it.
"Well thanks." I chuckle, not really knowing what to say to him.
"Yeah Avery was pissed when she heard you were singing and competing." He says and then I finally look at him. "She took your spot when you were gone." He informed me and I just nodded. Avery never barrel raced, she must of started when I was gone.
"Well I'm back so.." I say in kind of of bitchy voice but I didn't care, Avery always tried to compete with me. I hated it!
"When she found out, she almost screamed.. But I think she's jealous and knows that your better than her. I think she's threatened that your back, and that you will steal all of the attention from her." He rambles on and I really didn't care about her anymore.
"She can have the attention, I don't want it." I directly say and he smiles a bit and nods. "Well I should be going, see you later." I say to him and give him my best polite smile and pull Pharaoh away from him.
I looked up and saw Taylor and a few other girls already mounted and ready to go. The other girls were Jessica, Molly, and Reyna. They were very sweet and nice girls, all of us grew up together. I pulled Pharaoh over to them and then mounted myself. "Hey DaKota." They sweetly smiled to me and a slight wave.
"Hey girls." I say as I grab the reins and stop Pharaoh. We all place our horses beside each other in a neat straight line.
"Wasn't Avery suppose to come?" Jessica says as she leans back in her saddle.
"She was and then she found out big-mean-ol'-DaKota was coming." Taylor says and we all laugh together. I lean up up on my saddle and rest my arms on the horn of the saddle.
"Ow ow! Look who's coming over here girls!" Molly says in a loud but quiet voice, just for us to hear. Then she adds a quick cat whistle, I laugh at her. She had lots of fire inside her, and she was a crazy cowgirl.
"He fits in those jeans so well, if he bent over I'd fall off my horse." Jessica sweet talks, they are so crazy. I finally turn my head to the left where they were looking, and I saw they were talking about the one and only, Cooper Blackwood. It was weird, I started blushing.
He looked up and smiled at me, and then he walked over to my horse. "Hey DaKota, girls." His charming voice says and looks at me and tips his hat at the other girls. I side look the girls and I could tell they were trying not to giggle like little school girls.
"Hey Coop, what's up?" I speak clearly to him, kinda happy I finally get to see him after a while. He then walked over to my left side and placed his left hand on Pharaoh's mane and he looked up at me.
"Well I was just gonna ask if you were gonna watch bull riding and wrestlin'." His charming southern voice says and it makes me a grin a bit.
"I might, depends what I got going on." I say and he frowns a bit, but then smirks.
"Well you should, I could use a good luck charm." He smoothly says and slightly cocks his head to the side, revealing a crooked grin to me. I felt my cheeks heat up and I smiled down at him.
"Okay I'll come." I sheepishly said to him and couldn't stop smiling at him.
"C'mon girls!!" A voice yelled from behind us, and we all turned and Mrs. Ellington was waving at us.
"Well we gotta go, good luck later!" I say and return in my posture and grab the reins.
"Thanks you too, see ya girls." Cooper says and we all pull our reins and walk away.
"Bye!" The girls say and when we started to walk our horses, it started, "Oh my gosh DaKota! You are sooo lucky!" Reyna, Jess, and Molly gasp at me. I shake my head at them and laugh, I didn't know what to say! Because I didn't know where him and I stood, ugh.
"Well girls, looks like he'll be bent over for DaKota." Taylor says and I gasp at her, but we all laugh. Taylor was always like that, I loved her for it.
**************
The girls and I just finished riding the sponsors flag around the arena, and now it was time for the National Anthem. One of the judges handed me the American Flag and I took it in my right hand, and the microphone. "Cowgirls and Cowboys, please rise and remove your hats." The announcers deep southern voice says and then I ride out into the middle.
I hold the flag in my left hand and drop the reins and hold the mic with my left. I took a big gulp and cleared my throat, and waited for the music to start. "Oh, say can you see, By the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed, At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, Through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, Were so gallantly streaming. And the rocket's red glare, The bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night, That our flag was still there. Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave, For the land of the free, and the home of the brave!" I sung into the micro phone and then picked up the reins with my fingers and rode to the gate and threw the mic to the judge and then kicked Pharaoh in the sides and he exploded around the arena.
Everyone was clapping and yelling, as the Flag waved in the air from Pharaoh and I. I held it proudly and smiled wide for the crowd. Even with all the noise, I could hear Phar breathing hard and his shoes pounding into the soft dirt. I loved riding him, and loved the way the air from his speed felt in my face. As I passed the bucking chutes I heard, "That's my little sister!!" Obviously it was Caleb and it made me smile even bigger.
I rode around one more time and then stopped my horse at the entrance gate and then walked Pharaoh out. "Oh sweetie, you sang so good!!" My mother says to me as I slid down my horse and she gives me a light hug.
"Thanks mama." I say and she lets go of me. I give the flag back to the judge, "Great job." He says and I give him a smile and thank him.
*************
Taylor and I were waiting our turn for team roping, we were up next. The top time already was 4.9 seconds, that was going to be tricky. Taylor and I were the third to last, so we had to beat it to make top three. Taylor was the header and I was the heeler. "C'mon girls." The judge said and we entered onto the dirt.
I took my place in the right box and backed Pharaoh into the padded corner. I raised my throwing arm up above my head and looked at Taylor and gave her a nod. She got situated and then she nodded her head.
The steer broke out and then we were hot on it's trail. We were real close to breaking the barrier but we didn't. Taylor made a sweet throw over the horns and then she turned her horse and the rope got tight and ripped the steer to turn and then I swung a couple of times and released the rope out of my fingers and it went right around the two hind legs! Yes! When the legs were pulled, I looked at the clock, 5 on the dot! Sweet!
Taylor and I high-fived and exited the arena, and stood by the gates. I straightened out my hat and put my rope loops over my saddle horn. "That was a great throw." I told Taylor and she shrugged cockily, but I knew she was joking.
"Well you looked like Jade Corkill!" She said, comparing me to the best heeler in the world. I was no way near as good as him, but I'll take the compliment.
The other two teams, their times were 5.1 and 8.4, so Taylor and I were in second! The next event was steer wrestling, so that meant I had to go watch Cooper.
Molly, Reyna, Jess, Tay, and I were all sitting in the front bleacher watching the steer wrestling, and there was some pretty impressive times. Cooper still hasn't gone yet, and I was really interested to see if he was good enough. There was no doubt that he had the strength to bring the steer down fast.
I couldn't help but stare at Avery and her groupies standing near the gates, they were so annoying. I almost rolled my eyes every time they laughed. After this event was barrels, then tie down, then broncs, and the last event was bulls. "Our next bull dogger is the young and furious Cooper Blackwood!" The announcer boomed and we all cheered. Avery cheered a little more than others, whore..
I didn't know who was his 'hazer', but I hope he did his job well. Cooper had a beautiful buckskin quarter horse, and it had a really unique hair color, kinda like a graphite color. The horse went in a couple of circles and then Cooper smoothly backed the horse into the box.
When Cooper nodded, the steer bolted out of the chute. It was just like lightning! I thought the steer was fast, but damn, Cooper's horse was faster. Also the hazer's horse also had amazing speed, making them a great pair. It felt like Cooper was on the steer in a blink of an eye.
Cooper wrapped his arm behind the horns and planted his feet and got a hold of the steer. With one quick movement of his muscular body, the steer fell into the dirt, and the crowd roared with life. "Woooooo-hooooo!" All of us girls yelled and threw up our hands, and we all laughed after it.
Cooper stood up and watched the steer run away and then he walked over to get his hat and gave the crowd a small thank you wave. Before he got mounted on his horse, he found my gaze and gave me a quick wink and I winked back, but I was the only one who blushed. Obviously Avery must of saw because she turned to look at me and she gave me a death glare. I couldn't help but laugh and stick my tongue at her.
***************
It's now my turn for barrels and I took a long deep breath. I can do this, just like old times. I've been practicing for a couple days and it looked promising, I just hoped Pharaoh was thinking the same. "And now, our last barrel racer of the night, DaKota Joooonnnnessss!" The announcer yelled into the mic, but before he even announced me being the last rider, I had already took off. "She's so fast I didn't even finish!" He laughed into the mic.
Pharaoh quickly and tightly turn the first barrel, letting me relax some. I kicked him more and lead him to the next barrel, it was a little sloppy, but we didn't tip the barrel. Making up for the sloppiness, I pushed him harder to the last barrel.
She turned the barrel perfectly, and very quickly. I gave him butt a quick slap before we headed for the home stretch. "C'mon babe!" I said to him, I was flying in the saddle. I could hear his hard breathing and I watched his muscles contract and push with all his might.
Once we reached the line I sat up on the saddle and pulled the reins up. I knew it was a good run because the crowd was going nuts, "DaKota and her horse Pharaoh with a time of 13.6, earning her the top spot. Way to end the night, DaKota!" He said, and it made me smile ear-to-ear.
I was still mounted on my house, walking Pharaoh back to my trailer. On my way the girls caught up to me, all with their horses. "Good job Kota!" Molly said to me and I gave her a kind smile.
"Thanks, Molls, you did great too." I said back to her and she rolled her eyes at me.
"Always have to beat me, don't you?" Taylor pipped in and I shook my head at her.
"Someone's gotta keep you in line." I said and she rolled her eyes at me.
"Did anyone hear what Avery got?" Jessica says and no one says anything, I don't really think I even heard her name being called. Or maybe I trained my brain to block out her name.
"She hit two barrels, I think she got like 30 seconds." Reyna said, making me snicker a bit. I knew it was mean, but it's Avery we're talking about.
"Speak of the she-devil." Taylor says making us all confused, until we look to our right and Avery is walking over towards us. Surprisingly she doesn't have her little 'city posse' with her.
"Lord help us." Molly mumbles, making me smirk to myself.
"Well isn't this a classic DaKota move? Comes back and steals all of the attention, doing whatever she can to beat me." Avery says and crosses her arms and cocks her head to the side.
"Let's be real Avery." I say with a stern look, and then I break out into a smirk, "I wasn't the only one who beat you tonight, about every other girl was in front of your time." I say and Taylor and the other girls snicker.
"You've been gone for two years, and you're trying to steal singing the National Anthem, my popularity, and my Cooper." My Cooper? She had a bitch tone going on, and I really wanted her to shut up. What was she even talking about, my Cooper? Psht, they couldn't be dating.. What if they were?
"You're overreacting." I said to Avery, she was pushing it too far and she needed to stop.
"Cooper obviously likes her more," Jessica says and I just look at the ground, because I couldn't get the image of Cooper flirting with Avery. "She's his good luck charm." Jess says in a mater-of-fact-tone.
"Oh really?" Avery laughs, causing me to scrunch my eyebrows. "He's told me that at least a thousand times." She says like I should of expected it. I wasn't going to lie, I was hurt. But how could I know if she was telling the truth. "Don't believe me?" She raises her eyebrow at me. "Did he ask you if you were staying for the events? Then he probably made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. And if you said no, did he use that cute crooked-smile on you? Or if y-" She walked closer to me, giving me a your-so-dumb look.
I had to cut her off, "Okay Avery, that's enough." I raised my voice lightly, because I knew she was right. I couldn't what I was saying, I actually believed Avery Johnson. "Let's go." I said to the girls and I pulled Pharaoh's reins and started walking to my trailer.
Why was I so butt-hurt about this? Cooper and I weren't anything. I didn't even know if I liked her. But I think it was the part where I fell for his ways. What Avery described to me was exactly how it happened. Cooper used his charm on me, like he had practiced it a million of times. "You don't actually believe her do you?" Taylor says to me while we dismount.
"I don't want to, but it's what happened." I say in a dull tone and start to untack Pharaoh.
"C'mon Kota, it's Avery!" Taylor says and sits down on the edge of the trailer floor.
"I know Tay," I say and turn to look at her with my saddle in my hands. "Do you remember when you talked about what happened when I was away? I asked you about Cooper and you said all he did was flirt? Why should I be shocked then, it's Cooper Blackwood, we're talking about." But even I didn't believe myself.
It was almost Cooper's time to ride, and I don't really know what I was feeling. Mostly betrayed because I actually thought what he said was real, and he was trying to impress me. Taylor and I looked at each other, "Am I stupid?" I ask her and she frowns and shakes her head at me.
"DaKota, you are like the most smart person I know." She said to me, and then I looked at the ground.
"Smartest." I corrected her, and she rolled her eyes at me.
"Exactly! But honey, no girl is smart or stupid when it comes to guys. Trust me." She says and I sigh and nod. "How bout we go to the parking lot and go find some dogs." She said and I smiled. Taylor and I used to go into the parking lot and go pet some random people's dogs that were tied to a tree or trailer, it was actually fun.
"Let's go, I hope we see some Blue Heelers!" I smile at her as we stand up. Ironically as we start to walk down on the bleachers the announcer says, "The young and furious Cooper Blackwood, riding the lovely Texas Sweetheart!" I looked at Cooper in the chutes, and kind of felt bad I wasn't staying to watch him, but sucks to suck.
***************
"Hey DaKota!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around and saw a jogging Cooper coming towards me. Oh jeez. It was only five minuets ago since Taylor left me to go home, and I was now walking around by myself.
"Oh hey Cooper." I say quietly as he comes to my left shoulder. I wrap my arms around myself, because the wind turned into a crisp-cool wind.
"How come I saw you leave before my ride?" He asks me, his voice is soft and very confused. Okay, maybe I could just play this out. Yeah, that's what I will do.
"Well I'm sure your other good luck charms where there to help you." I snapped at him.. I wanted to face palm myself, nicely played DaKota... "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I said and then I shivered.
"Are you cold? Here." He said and took off his jacket and tried to hand it to me.
"No, keep it." I said and pushed his hand back towards him.
"No, it's cold out here.. Seriously, take it." He says and I again shake my head at him. Then he sighs and keeps his jacket. "And what did you mean, 'other good luck charms'?" He asked me.
"I know I wasn't your only good luck charm tonight." I say looking forward and clenching my jaw.
"DaKota what are you talking about?" He says and grabs my arm, stopping me from walking.
"Avery told me that you said that to her and other girls tonight." I almost growled at him.
"You can't honestly believe her. Does she think we're still dating?" Cooper says and puts both his hands on his hips.
"She said that you were hers, and you guys dated?" I was genuinely shocked about this. I honestly couldn't think of them like together. Doing all the cute romance stuff, nope, can't see it.
"For like a month, and I broke it off like four months ago.. I swear DaKota, I didn't tell any other girl that she was my good luck charm.. Just you, I swear DaKota.. I'm not that kind of guy.." He said, and I knew he was telling the truth. I could hear it in his voice.
"Okay, I believe you and I'm sorry." I say and I feel so insecure about myself right now. Cooper and I didn't have a thing going on, so why was I being like this?
"It's okay, but why were you so mad about it?" Cooper said with too big of a smirk on his face. Like he was onto something. He was thinking about what I was thinking, did I like him?
"I don't know," I said a little too quickly, "I don't like being lied to.." I say and he nods, but still has the smirk on his face, like he didn't believe me.
"Oh really, or was someone a little jealous?" Cooper says with a cocky smirk on his face. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead a little dry laugh came out, and I felt like there was no moisture in my mouth to speak.
Cooper walked towards me and I started walking backwards. After two steps my back hit a horse trailer and I was stuck with a dangerous-looking Cooper. I felt my heart pace to quicken, and my hands began to sweat. Cooper's body was inches from mine, and his 6'2'' height made me look up to him. His left forearm went above my head and he looked down at me. "W-what are y-you doing?" I ask him, but it came out as a whisper. Damn his good looks.
"Making you nervous." He confidently says, getting a little closer to me. "Is it working, lovely?" He whispered, he did not just call me lovely.. My hands began shaking, I couldn't get that word out of my head. In my head it wasn't Cooper saying it, it was Wade. That was Wade's pet-name for me, it was horrible.
******** FLASHBACK *********
I was shaking in fear because Wade just stood above me, looking down at me, or should I say my body. My hands were chained, and his feet were pinning my legs down. My eyes started watering, "Please, don't do this.." I whimpered to him.
He came down and straddled my lap, making me flinch and almost throwing up in my mouth. He brought his hand up to my cheek and began caressing it, "Shhhh.. It's okay, lovely.. I'm gonna be gentle, unless you start crying.. Then I'm going to have to be rough, I know you like it that why, my lovely.." And then he took both his hands and removed my bra.
"Please, stop!" I say louder and then he covered my mouth and began to touch me..
********* PRESENT **********
"DaKota?" Cooper's voice says and I feel something drip on my lip. I taste the salt and realize I had a couple tears on my cheeks. I looked up at him and he looked concerned. "Are you okay, what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, I have to go." I slip under him and then run to the direction of my trailer. I couldn't believe that just happened in front of Cooper. I was still shaking and I could barely catch my breath, I had to go home and take my pills and write in my journal.. I just hoped that Cooper wouldn't bring this up again, I don't think I could face him again.