Is this power really worth your life?
Is it worth it to betray the ones you love in order to gain more?
Can you not see what you are becoming?
Or are you too blind to see what is right in front of you?
////
It has been three weeks since Anna and I left Rhun. We've been heading west, away from men, and everything we've ever known.
We have no home.
No family.
No friends.
We're all we have left.
I'm on knees beside a small stream splashing water on my face. I wipe some of the water out of my eyes and gaze down at my reflection.
My eyes are still glowing, although they aren't really. At night it seems like they are when really they have only become brighter and sharper, giving off the illusion that they are glowing.
I stare at them for a little while longer before turning away. Only then do I notice something else that is out of the ordinary.
I tenderly pinch a strand of my hair between my thumb and index finger. As I inspect it I notice that the tips of my hair are black.
Not just any normal kind of black, but one so dark it's almost as if you can not see it.
I should be alarmed.
But I'm not.
I stand up and leave the stream. Anna is sitting alone in the grass. Her entire body is tense and ready for flight, even though there is nothing to run from.
She flinches as I approach. She's even afraid of me. Anger wells up in my heart. Where is the innocent, carefree girl that I loved so much?
There is a terror in Anna's eyes that shows that she has seen too much to be considered innocent any longer. She watched Elwin and Rilien die, witnessed countless deaths during the attack, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what horrors she witnessed in Rhun.
Our captivity has cost us both more than we could ever imagine.
I barely recognize my own sister, and she barely recognizes me.
I reach my hand out to her and she shrinks back.
"It's alright Anna. I'm not going to hurt you. No one is ever going to hurt you ever again."
My words are more cold than they are comforting. Anna reaches her hand out cautiously as she clasps mine.
I gently pull her to her feet and we begin walking again. We always walk side by side. We rarely speak. Everywhere we go we are met with eerie silence.
After awhile Anna's quiet voice barely penatrates through the cloud of silence.
"Where have you been Caran?"
I pause when I hear the name. It sounds so foreign to me. I do not feel like Caran, Caran was kind and didn't kill unless he absolutely had to.
Me? I kill when I can and because I have the power too.
The black dagger always sends a rush of energy coursing through my body every time I touch it.
The power it gives me....
I could not live without it.
I want more.
I need more.
There is something holding me back, keeping me from having the power I so desperately crave.
Once I find out what it is I will destroy it. Then there will be nothing to keep me from possesing more power than I could ever imagine.
"Caran?"
Anna's voice brings me out of the dark haze I surrounded myself with.
What had she been saying?
"What happened to you Caran, why have you changed so much?"
There's almost an accusing tone in her voice. As if I'm to blame for what I have become.
Veliron started it when he killed Elwin and Rilien. Alatar continued to nurture it until it began to grow into something that is beyond my power to control.
The question is, do I want to control it? Or would I rather it storm inside of me without restraint?
Anna has given up trying to get an answer from me and I'm glad that she's decided to drop the subject for now.
There will be pleanty of time to explain what happened once we have found a place to live.
I am changed. I can see it with my own eyes and feel it in my heart.
My eyes, my black tipped hair, the dark blue cloak I wear, the black dagger that serves as my only weapon, I am not Caran anymore.
I am becoming someone else....
I am becoming Amarth.