Millie
"W-What do you mean?" I heard Harry, not seeing him anymore, due to my closed eyes. I was still shaking, my bottom lip harshly between my teeth, trying to breathe regularly.
"Fuck, Harry. She is having a fucking panic attack, calm her down." Hannah quietly demanded, her voice still calmed though.
"How do I do that?" he asked, the nervousness clearly there. He patted me everywhere he could reach, like a fucking dog. I slowly opened my eyes to see him staring at me, not knowing what to do.
"Fuck off." she pushed him away and took his place. I did not fight her, I couldn't even get a thought straight.
Hannah locked eyes with me, not even Harry was trying to fight her. Her eyes flickered between mine, silently telling me, that she was here. She now laid her hands on my shoulders, gently squeezing them.
"Hey," she calmly smiled, "Look, I know you don't like me and that's okay. I'm going to help you now, got it?" her eyes never leaving mine. I was not answering her question. "Millie, nod if you hear me properly" she gently demanded and I slightly nodded, only she was noticing it, because it was barely visible. "Okay, you are good. No need to panic, whatever happened, can be solved, alright?" she reassured me.
"Now you need to do me a favour, okay?" she asked and I nodded again in response, my eyes not leaving hers. I found something so calm in her eyes, that I did not want to break the contact.
"You now need to breathe with me, understand? Watch my mouth and try to do the same." She slowly spoke and started breathing. She loudly breathed in, showing her teeth, the air that entered her lungs making whistling sounds through her gritted teeth. "In." she breathed in. "And out." she loudly exhaled, forming an 'O' with her mouth.
"In...out..In..out." she repeated a few times, until I finally tagged along, trying to match our breathings. "You're doing so well." she cheered and I even smiled a bit, feeling myself calming down. I started taking in the surroundings more, now seeing Harry standing right next to Hannah, watching me gaining the control over myself back.
Hannah still repeated her breathing exercises with me, which I still joined. I breathed in and out, until I felt myself being there again. I slowly blinked, finally calming down completely.
"You're good again?" Hannah let her hands drop from my shoulders again, gently smiling at me. "I'm good." I whispered, only now realising who I had in front of me.
"Brilliant." Hannah nodded in approval, as Harry gently shoved her a bit, to hug me tightly. "You good babe?" his husky voice asked and I slightly nodded. "Good again." I was still at a loss for words.
I got out of Harry's hold, turning my attention to Hannah. "Thank you." I smiled and she just winked, "it's okay. Glad you're feeling well again." she rubbed my shoulder.
I was a bit taken aback by her comfort and her help. She was being so gentle and nice to me, I was definitely not expecting that. Me and Harry smiled at her and thanked her a last time, before we slowly got out of the toilet, approaching our booth again.
Luke's head snapped up and he shot us a knowing smile. "Aaah, after we saw Hannah walking in, we thought you'd either have a hot threesome or some boxing fight. But according to Millie's red face, it was a threesome." He grinned widely and I nervously smiled. Harry slung his arm around me, pulling me into him and kissing my forehead. "Not sharing this one with anybody." His chest pressed against my shoulder and I leaned my head against him for comfort.
"Sooo, you wanna pay and leave? We can still go to a bar, what do you say?" Harry offered and everyone nodded in agreement.
We all payed out food, well, Harry payed for mine even though I insisted on paying myself. We agreed that I could buy him some drinks.
We were about to leave, when we closed the door behind us and saw Hannah in front of the diner, impatiently tapping her foot on the cement and her phone glued to her ear. "Where are you? I'm not waiting any longer!" she sighed, looking rather sad.
No one noticed her but me. She looked lonely and before I could even think about it, I walked over to her. "Millie?" Harry called my name. "I'll be right back." I informed him, while taking small steps towards Hannah.
"Hey." I greeted her again and she snapped her head towards me, letting out a huff. "Hey." she slightly smiled. "You're waiting for someone?" I asked and she nodded. "Actually, I do. But he's not going to arrive, so I'm leaving." She explained and I just nodded. When I was about to leave and turned around, I closed my eyes for a second and turned around again. "We're going to a pub, I don't know what one or where it is, but if you want to join..?" I unsurely asked her. Her face lit up in seconds as she thought about my offer. "Don't you think the boys would mind?" she nervously bit her lip, but I quickly shook my head. "Those two idiots are happy for any female that wants to join. And Harry wouldn't mind too.. I guess." I said and she thought about it for a moment and then smiled. "I'll gladly join."
***
After we all piled up in the car again, Harry not really agreeing with my decision, we were now approaching the pub.
We got out and entered it, the smell of alcohol already consuming me totally. We searched for a table and quickly found one, since it was Saturday and it was about 4.30pm. We chatted a bit, Hannah being obviously nervous about this gathering.
"Hey lads, lady's. What can I get for you?" A waitress asked and I noticed her looking a little longer at Harry, a slight smirk playing around her lips.
Don't be a crazy jealous girlfriend, don't be a jealous crazy girlfriend.
"Uhm, I'll get a cider." Harry told her, not making eye contact. I was seated next to him, but since it was a round table, I could clearly see the discomfort in his eyes. We all tagged along, deciding to begin with Ciders, too. I never really had one, always stuck to the hard stuff back in the days.
"Was that awkward or what." David quietly said and we all agreed. Harry was not saying a word, his long fingers were playing with my thigh. But I couldn't miss his eyes silently warning David. I was not stupid, Harry probably hooked up with the waitress, but I couldn't care less. I trusted him and I was in no position to judge his earlier affairs.
"So, still need to say thank you for inviting me." Hannah, who was seated in front of me smiled and I just shrugged. "Take it as a thanks from me, you helped me." I thanked her again. "How did you even know what to do?" I asked, the boys not listening anymore, already in their own conversations about the football game on the television. "I once had to hold a presentation about them. We had like those topics about mental health issues and how to solve or overcome them. So I knew that you need to calm that person and try to get them to breathe regularly. Never had to use it though." She explained and I carefully listened.
"I never had them before. It was actually my first time, that's why I probably completely shut off. I felt like a roboter, not really being in my body, it was so weird." I told her. "Most of the times they come, when someone is shocked or feels uncomfortable about something." Hannah said and I was impressed by her knowledge.
After a few minutes, the same waitress approached us with our beverages. She smiled at Harry, while handing him his beer, brushing her disgusting fingers against his long and beautiful ones, making him flinch slightly.
I was seconds away from testing my ninja skills on her.
"Harry." she sweetly sang, "y'know, if you want to join me behind the bar, still have to show you something." she smirked and Luke started snorting, spitting out his beer. "Probably has already seen enough of it, doesn't he?" he whispered and Harry's head snapped towards him, anger clearly in his eyes. "Luke." he warned, his eyes glancing to me. I just rolled my eyes.
"No, thanks Romy." Harry dismissed her, but she just wouldn't get the hint. "C'mon, I bet your friends won't mind." she brushed her fingers on his shoulder.
I harshly gripped my glass, trying to stay calm, but she was a fucking pain in the ass. I saw everyone's gaze on me, only Harry avoiding me. They all waited for me to snap.
And that's exactly what I did.
"Sorry, Romy." I sweetly smiled, her eyes instantly looking towards me. "Harry clearly said no. And to answer your question, I would mind if he left to fuck you in some back room, because I'm his girlfriend. So if you would do your job and bring us our drinks and then leave again, that would be really kind." The smile never left my lips, while putting her in her place.
She just looked at me in shock, looking at Harry again. Her face reddened in embarrassment and the other ones tried to suppress their laughs. I just shot her an toothy grin and with that, she nodded and left us.
"You know, there are a lot of things to admire about Millie, but I just love how she puts people in their places." David finally laughed and everyone joined, even Harry. He slowly leaned over to me, kissing my cheek and whispering "sorry for that." I just dismissed him with a quick peck to his lips and an "it's okay."
After a few more rounds of beer and water for Harry, since he was the driver, I was fairly tipsy. When the waitress approached us again, this time another one, since Romy probably didn't wanted to join us anymore, I decided for shots for everyone.
"Hey, do you have those apple cinnamon shots, with that whipped cream on them?" I asked in a slur and she nodded. "Harry are you sure you don't want to drink? We can walk home, y'know?" I asked for the fourth time. "I'm good babe." he smiled, but I was annoyed. "Nope," I dragged out the p, "it's not only me who's going to be hungover tomorrow. We're having one, two, three." I slowly counted everyone with my finger pointing at them, "give us ten of those tasty fuckers." I cheered and she nodded and left again.
"Babe.." Harry started but I placed a finger on his mouth and shook my head, "shut your perfect mouth, you will drink. I just decided to have a little competition. Girls versus boys." I winked at Hannah. She was a real fun person to be around with great stories to every topic we talked about. I started to like her.
Everyone agreed to my offer, Harry still a bit hesitant, but he had no choice. After the waitress came with out shots, I placed two in front of everybody.
"Okay, we'll down them and then another round and then another round and then another.." I went on until Harry chuckled and placed a hand over my mouth. "I think we got it." he smiled and removed his hand. "round." I breathed out the last time. I was most probably the drunkest on this table.
"Okay," everyone held their glasses in their hands, like it would be the most important competition in their lives, "wait wait." I stopped them, ran to the bar and told the waitress to bring us more shots, from every alcoholic they had.
It's going to be an expensive evening.
After I came back, I took my shot and everyone joined me. "One, two, three." I yelled and everyone downed their shots, making grimaces but quickly taking the other one and drinking them as well. Right after, we received an whole tablet full of shots. Everyone made big eyes, but I was quick to hand everyone their first shots of the table, making sure everyone got the same one.
After about another hour and who knows how many shots, we were all leaning down in our chairs, my head resting on Harry's lap, since I couldn't really hold myself any longer up.
"I love you so much." I slurred, facing him. My butt was on my chair, my legs tangling on the other side and my head on his lap. Quite uncomfortable, but too lazy to change. Harry brought his hand up to my hair and started stroking my head. "I love you so much, as well." he smiled.
"I need to use the bathroom." Hannah quickly informed us and shot up, leaving us alone. "Is she going to throw up?" David asked amused and Harry just shrug. "Don't know how well she takes alcohol."
"Well, we already know Millie is secretly half a man, so she can take probably way more than her, so I guess she's throwing up." Luke whispered, already half asleep on the table.
I slowly lifted my head up from Harry's lap, everything spinning around me. "Okay. 'm gonna look after her, like the good friend I am." I pointed at the restroom door with my finger and slowly got up. I needed a moment to adjust myself, thanks to Harry's secure grip around my waist I haven't fell, and then slowly walked to the restroom.
But instead of throwing up noises, I was met with sobbing.
"Hannah?" I knocked on the only closed door and waited. "Mhm." she mumbled and another sob. "Can I come in?" I asked and after a full minute, the door creaked open.
I was met with a devastated Hannah, her make up smudged and her eyes were red and puffy, still spilling tears. "Jesus, are you okay?" I asked, even though it was clear she was not. "I'm good, everything's alright." she tried to smile but failed miserably, when she uncontrollably started sobbing again. I lost no time, opening my arms for her and hugging her tightly. I rubbed her back for comfort, kicking the door behind us for it to close and sat her on the ground, sitting on the other side of the toilet.
It was kinda disgusting to have a toilet right next to your head, but well.
"I don't get it. What do you have that I don't?" She randomly said and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Not that you are beautiful. You are. You are so funny, witty and kind. I like your natural hair a lot. And your cute button nose. Now that I think about it, you have everything I have not." She drunkenly chuckled. "Hannah, what do you mean?" My head was too confused to put one and one together. I was not getting her words at all.
"I mean, you had him at the first moment. You were captivating him, I know it. He never looked at me, the way he now looks at you. I was nothing more than a sex toy for him. I mean, you two are complete in love, aren't you?" she now rambled, not really awaiting an answer. "You two already said the 'I love you's', I'm just.. I wanted him for so long, I did everything I thought was right. That's why I was kinda rude to you, because when he called me to come over and then you appeared, I thought that I'd won, but he just threw me out of his flat." she chuckled again, between her sobs.
Was it now funny or sad, I was confused.
"I thought he'd chose me over you, but after he threw me out, I knew I lost. I don't blame you, though. I don't blame him either. He could have been a bit more nicer, but life's not easy." she wiped her tears away, smudging her make up even more.
"I thought I'd be okay to go out with y'all, having a good evening. I don't have that many friends, so it was kind of nice, to go out with you. I like you. But I'm not okay. I'm not okay to see him with you. I'm not okay to see him looking at you, like you're his world. I'm not okay to see him get protective, every time someone looks at you or how he kisses you out of nowhere. The type of intimacy you two have, is something I'm not okay with. The way he says 'I love you', is something that breaks my heart. I really thought I could get over him, but I can't." she still cried, her eyes being almost as red as her lipstick. The whole time she talked, she was looking down at her intertwined hands, avoiding my gaze and her voice barely above a whisper. She was truly broken.
"Hannah.." I started, "I'm sorry. I didn't knew.." I was at a loss for words.
"I didn't knew you're in love with him."
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picture above is kinda how I imagine Hannah :)
PS: i just got informed that my next chapter is being out on private due to smut, so i've marked chapter 32 with a * just so you won't skip it without noticing, so you'll have to follow me that you can read it! just a lil info for ya pals