The nail technician pushes my cuticles back, turns my hand over. Stretches the skin on my palm and says, "I see your daughters, and their daughters." That night in a dream the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. We leave like searchers curling on the side of the bath.
I wake as the second girl crawls up headfirst up my throat, a flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.
•
•
•
Beyoncé
"Mm baby" I moaned letting Nicki kiss my neck probably leaving a mark.
"You want it?" She asked.
"Yes" I whispered.
"What was that? I can't hear you"
"Yes" I said a little bit louder. She moved down some when I heard the doorbell ring followed by banging on the door.
"I know you fucking lying" She groaned.
"I'll get it" I sighed rolling out of bed to answer the door. Whoever was there must not know how this house works, you gotta knock twice to let us know your still living out there. When I finally got to the door I opened it without looking through the peep hole. I gave a confused look to the blank stare I was getting from the person on the other side of the door.
"Umm, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I came to see you" he smiled pushing the door open so that he could let himself in. He tripped over his own feet walking in. I knew what this means.
"Jay, you're drunk please leave" I tried to get him to move.
"You not happy to see me?" He asked pushing me farther into the house, closing the door behind him.
"No"
"The fuck!?" He yelled slowly walking over to me. This escalated quickly.
"Nicki!" I called for her so she could help me out.
"Oh so you're fucking hoes in my house?!"
"She not a hoe!" I defended. I kept backing up until I hit the wall.
"You know better than to run from me right?" He only says this when he's about to hit me. I haven't heard this sentence in about ten months. I can't lie and say it doesn't scare me.
"Jay please, you promised you wouldn't hit me again" I whispered as hot tears streamed down my face. He stepped closer to me and I could smell the liquor on his breath. My heart rate sped up as I anticipated his next move. Was he going to hit me?
"Onika!" I cried out.
"Seems like your little girlfriend can't save you now"
"Beyoncé?!" She yelled back. She sounded far away from me. Jay narrowed his eyes at me and punched me in my chest. I immediately hunched over struggling to breathe.
"You think it's ok to cheat on me?"
"We aren't...married" I coughed out. He grabbed me up by my hair and I yelped in pain. He wrapped his hands around my throats knocking my head against the wall and choking me.
"We are what I say we are"
"Pl-please s-s-stop" I managed to get out.
"Beyoncé?!" I heard Onika yell again and Jays hands squeeze tighter. More tears ran down my face as I struggled to breathe.
"I...ca-can't...br-breathe" I coughed out. My eyes began to get heavier and heavier as I struggled to keep them open. My feet dangling trying to at least try to kick him off of me. When that didn't work my hands went straight to my neck trying to pry his hands off of me. Nothing was working. He's just stronger than me therefore there was nothing I could do. I hated to say it but I couldn't do anything but let him choke me. As I dipped in and out of consciousness I saw Onika come in and do something to Jay causing him to drop me. I immediately started coughing. I still couldn't breathe.
"Nicki, I'm sorry" I whispered before letting my eyes close.
Onika
What the hell just happened here? Well I mean I heard Bey screaming my name and I was trying to find her but her house so damn big. I ran to find and phone and called 911.
"911 what's your emergency?" The operator answered on the third ring.
After the operator asked me what happened and for the address I started thinking about things I can do now beside CPR. I knew not to give her anything to eat or drink obviously. I couldn't put a pillow under her head because it could block an airway and if she is breathing I don't need her to stop. There weren't any open wounds on her chest however there was a bruise that I could tell was from a punch. It seemed to be in the middle so it probably didn't do much damage. It may have cracked her sternum but probably not since there wasn't any deformities in the chest. I monitored her pulse. She had a range of 54-59 beats per minute slowly increasing. I really hope she's ok.
(Studying for my BSN guys 🙃)
•-•
"Do you have anything new on Beyoncé Knowles?" I asked the receptionist for the tenth time.
"No, ma'am. I'm sorry" he answered. We've been at this fucking hospital for three hours and they won't even let me see her.
"You need to relax Nicki" Kelly said grabbing my shaking hands. I called both her and Michelle because I figured they needed to be here.
"I just want her to be ok" I cried.
"I know. We all do but you have to stay strong" Michelle stated pulling me into her arms.
"The family of Beyoncé Knowles" the doctor called out. I quickly wiped my tears and all three of us was liked over to him.
"Is she ok?"
"She's fine ma'am. She was temporarily unconscious from a minor concussion. She'll probably have headaches for a while so I'll prescribe some pain killers. After those run out regular Advil or anything over the counter should do. She may have small respiratory problems as well so monitor her physical activity please" The doctor explained.
"What room is she in?" Kelly asked.
"Umm 345C"
"Thank you" I started to walk off.
"Nicki wait" Michelle called.
"What?"
"You should go by yourself"
"What? Why?"
"Kelly has to get home to her child and I need to go check on my mom so it's just you"
"I can't do this alone guys"
"Yes you can. You handle your wife, girl"
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Positive"
"Ok, be safe" I told them before heading down the long hallway. It took me at least three minutes to get halfway there. 342, 343, 344, 345. Finally. I knocked before entering the room.
"Hey" I said softly. She looked around before speaking.
"Oh hey baby. I thought you were another doctor" she tried to smile but it wasn't as bright as ones I've seen before.
"Are you ok?"
"Is that even a question Nika?"
"Sorry, I meant are you feeling better?"
"Well I can breathe now so that's something"
It was nice to see that she was trying to make some light out of the situation. But she sounded forced. She sounded like she wanted to say no but someone was telling her to say yes. She sounded unsure.
"Was that the first time he hit you?" I asked. She gave me a sad look but didn't answer my question.
"Beyoncé, answer my question"
"Are you going to hit me?" She asked in a shaky voice.
"What? No, never" I walked over to her touching her hair I hear her gasp and start crying.
"Fuck, baby don't cry. I'm not going to hurt you"
"How do I know that?"
"Have I ever hurt you before?"
"No"
"Ok then. I care about you too much to do that shit" I expressed. She nodded looking into my eyes. There was still some fear in her eyes but I could tell she genuinely believed me. I could also tell that this wasn't the first time that she'd been abused. I'm not sure if it's by Jay or her father because she never talks about it him either.
"Can you lay with me?" She whispered.
"Of course" I said and carefully got in the hospital bed with her, laying on my back. She turned over and laid her head on my chest. I put my hand on the small of her back and she wrapped her leg around her waist. Soon we both fell asleep.
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Y'all see what I did there? But anyways two more chapters left.