Siobhan grabbed her boots from beside the sheepskins the lionesses had given her to sleep in. Wren still slept in his own pile across the tent. It had taken hours to calm him down long enough to understand they needed to wait for first light. She knew she should wake him, the sun was beginning to peak from its slumber, but she decided to give him a few more minutes. She grabbed her and Elias' bags from the floor and stepped out of the tent.
Piles of snow coated the ground in a thick sheet of white. Tracks, both human and lioness, traveled throughout the camp. Siobhan pulled her cowl out of her bag and threw it over her head, pulling the hood up. Cold didn't bother her, not when frost sped through her blood at the use of her magic, but it still would cause her to fall ill like anyone else. She made note to ask if the lionesses could spare furs for the final stretch to Firnlan. At the very least, Wren would need them to stay warm.
Flurries drifted around her as she walked to the small corral holding the few horses the lionesses had. Children giggled and ran around her as if she were a game they were playing. They were funny creatures, shifter children. Compared to her childhood, they seemed free to be children. Not forced to endure endless classes on history and etiquette like Siobhan's childhood. She smiled, watching one copper haired boy intentionally fall in pile of snow, his sisters jumped on top. Until they reached sixteen, the children would still have their hair. After sixteen, they'd shave their heads and be marked with their prides tattoos. In a way, boys were lucky because they didn't have to deal with the deformities the pride insisted on having. Not that tattoos were a deformity, Siobhan simply felt they shouldn't be forced on anyone.
She leaned down and grabbed a handful of snow, smashing it into the ball. When she turned around, walking backwards, she launched it at the pile of shifters. Their high-pitched laughs echoed through the foothills as they started their own snowball fight. She smiled and turned back to her path toward the horses.
It didn't take her long to notice something was wrong. Lionesses didn't keep many horses, only a handful to pull their wagons. What need did they have of animals when they were animals themselves? If one died, it was easy to notice. Siobhan closed her eyes at the sight of a horse lying on its side in the middle of the snow. Though the legs of the standing horses and snow resting on the body of the prone horse blocked most of her view, she knew who it was.
Nyka.
Siobhan touched a hand to her chest and hopped over the wooden fencing. Zelick and Wren's horse nibbled on the grass hanging in buckets from the posts. Their saddles and bags Siobhan didn't care to keep any eye on still hung over the side of a fence, covered in snow. Life moved in slow motion from the wind brushing the braided manes of the shifter's horses, to the flurries sticking to loose strands of Siobhan's hair. Nyka could simply be sleeping. It wasn't uncommon for the old mare to sleep like a person. She was the most human horse Siobhan had ever met.
There was a time she wondered if the horse was a shifter who'd become stuck in their shift. There were legends of wild animals with the soul of a person who simply couldn't turn anymore. Nyka ate the same foods as Siobhan, tried to sleep in bed with her when she smuggled her into her room, and she swore the horse understood her. When Siobhan was sad, Nyka was there for comfort. When the dark would scare her, Nyka was there. She was a mother that Siobhan never knew.
But Nyka wasn't sleeping. The snow on her side continued to grow under the flurries and didn't move. Black eyes were wide, staring into the abyss of the world. Flies circled her face, her legs, and everywhere they could get a taste of the old horse's hide. Siobhan touched the horse's neck, stroking it.
"Oh Nyka," Siobhan whispered, dropping her and Elias' bags beside her.
Briana's voice came from behind her. "Her life force must've slipped in the night."
Siobhan didn't tear her eyes away from her horse to bother looking at Briana. She leaned down and rested her head on Nyka's side, hoping there was a heartbeat, hoping the horse might stir, just hoping. Nothing happened. There was only cold both from the snow and from Nyka.
"I pushed her too far. When Wren and I separated, I didn't want to leave him alone for too long so I forced her and the other horses to ride with no break." Siobhan choked on her tears. "She was old. I shouldn't have pushed her with me on her back. I'm sorry, Nyka."
"Don't blame yourself, Ice Fang." Briana touched her shoulder. "You know as well as I do that when it is time for our life force to end, it will end."
Siobhan nodded. It was little comfort though. For Nyka, death was near for many months. The old horse was on borrowed time and she knew it. None of those thoughts took away the pain. There was that nagging voice blaming Siobhan for everything, every bad that had ever happened to her was always her fault.
"Do you have a death totem?" Siobhan asked, standing, and wiping her eyes.
"We have no totems I'm afraid. But we can give her a fire burial if that would please you."
Siobhan shook her head. "Your pride could use the meat for the winter. If you have a container, I have an ice totem that still has a charge. I can carry her heart to Firnlan and find a death totem there to send her soul to the Goddess and the Beyond."
"It's no trouble, Ice Fang. My pride will be fine on food. The High Mages will aid us if needed. Let us free her soul now instead of you carrying the sorrow with you."
Siobhan wiped her eyes and nodded. "Thank you, honorable mother."
"Go wake your companion. We will prepare the fire table while you prepare your other horses."
Siobhan looked over her shoulder at the elder shifter. "You don't want help?"
Briana shook her head. "Your family and mine go way back, Ice Fang. I knew you when you were but a seedling in your mother's belly."
"I don't remember my biological mother."
"I know you don't, but I do. You have her eyes, that's something a changeling potion can't hide, and her kindness. She was a light who shined upon all magic."
Siobhan snorted. "Kindness was lost a long time ago. Being kind gets you nowhere in life."
Briana grabbed Siobhan's shoulder and forced her to turn. She cupped Siobhan's cheek and smiled. From a distance, Siobhan didn't notice a difference in color from the shifters iris to her pupil. Her eyes appeared a solid circle of black. Up close, there was a narrow line of light brown separating the colors. It was remarkable how different her eyes were from the golden of her lioness form to her human form. How could two entities living within a single being have such differences in their eyes? Siobhan had never seen anything like it before, not in any of the other magical creatures she'd met. Even Aquantian's with their odd teal coloring stayed the same in the water and out of it.
"Do not let what happened to you completely destroy who you are," Briana said.
"I'm nobody." Siobhan walked away from the elder shifter and back toward her tent. The kids were stilling playing, but this time Siobhan was in no mood to humor them. She envied their freedom. There was never a time when she was as carefree as the shifter children.
Briana had a lot of nerve to speak to her of staying true to herself in spite of her past. She hadn't been there; she hadn't seen the looks on the people's faces as they blamed Siobhan for the death of her father. Briana hadn't had food thrown at her, cruel names spat in her direction, and nearly been hung for a crime she didn't commit. At times, Siobhan herself didn't believe it had truly happened nor how she escaped with her head on her shoulders. Briana could claim she knew of Siobhan's family, her history, but she'd never met the shifter or any of her pride until well into the lowlands. How could she know anything?
When she entered the tent, Wren still lay curled in the sheepskins, snoring. It would be easy to blame him for Nyka's death. He was the reason she pushed the horses too far. If he had listened to her, went around the chasm, Nyka might still be alive. But it wasn't his fault. He'd made his choice as Siobhan made hers. She didn't have to ride through the night to reach him. Instead, she could've trusted he'd be safe and rode as she normally would. Of course if she had, he might be food in the shifters belly by then.
She grunted and kicked Wren hard in the side. While she didn't blame him, that didn't mean she had to be nice to him. He shot awake, hands balled, eyes still drooping. Wren grumbled when his eyes landed on Siobhan.
"What in the hell?" He wiped the back of his hands against his eyes. Knotted hair stuck up in wild directions and curled untamed around his ears. It amused Siobhan because it made him look like a mangy animal. Fitting after a night among shifters.
"If your hair gets any filthier, it's going to grow it's own ecosystem." Siobhan forced a smile. "Get up. I'm laying Nyka to rest while you prepare Zelick and your horse."
"What do you. . ."
She didn't wait for him to finish. She turned from the tent and went to where the lionesses piled wood under a table holding Nyka's body. It was strange watching lionesses willing to build the fire table to send a horse's body to the Goddess and the Beyond. In their eyes, death simply meant the body became food for their young. It didn't matter if they were kin or some stranger, death was sustenance for their people. They didn't believe the soul needed to move anywhere; it was gone the moment a life force ended.
Shifters, young and old, gathered as much brush as they could find within the snow covered foothills and added it to the pile. Ayla and Briana stood to the side, close to Siobhan, Ayla scowling and muttering something to her mother.
"What are they doing?" Wren asked when he stepped beside Siobhan.
"I don't have a death totem to send Nyka's spirit to the Beyond and allow her to rest with the Goddess. Briana has been kind enough to do a fire burial for Nyka."
"Over a horse?"
Siobhan growled and grabbed Wren by the collar of his tattered shirt. His eyes widened when she lifted him off the ground like he was nothing. Magic burned through her veins, desiring to turn him into a frozen statue. His hands grabbed her wrists, trying to free himself. If she allowed herself to unleash her full fury on him, then she could simply head the last few miles to the High Mages, get more changeling potions, and hide what her magic had done. Nobody would ever know; Wren certainly wouldn't be alive to tell anyone what he saw.
"Ice Fang!" Briana touched a hand to Siobhan's arm.
Siobhan continued to growl, her grip tightening on Wren's collar. So simple. Ending it now, getting more potions, and collecting Elias—Siobhan could go back to a life before she met Wren. To a time before she allowed herself to make foolish decision after foolish decision, all for the sake of a useless human who would sooner hate her for what she was then be her friend. Siobhan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Wren and Briana both continued to touch her, Wren trying to free himself from her iron grip.
So simple. She needed only to push the magic to her hands, spilling it through her touch into Wren, and he'd become nothing more than ice. A statue to dawn the foothills until he melted at the coming of spring. Hell, the lionesses pride could force him to melt and use him as the food they wanted to begin with.
Siobhan sighed and set Wren back on the ground when she opened her eyes. He stepped back, grabbing his throat as if she'd strangled him instead of grabbing his tattered shirt.
"Nyka is more than a horse to me, she's my sister," Siobhan said, panting. "She showed up one day when I was three, a horse with no origin of any kind. At first, the stable master wanted to kill her. Who wants a horse with no known heritage? I begged father to make the stable master spare the her life, to give her to me. There was something in her eyes that said she was meant to be with me. We were meant for each other."
Siobhan wiped her eyes. She could no longer contain her sorrow as she thought of the horse lying behind her, awaiting the flames that would carry her soul away.
"When I fled my home, I was young and had nothing. Not even Elias at first. Somehow, some way, Nyka knew I needed her. She broke free of her stable and found me hours later, as if she tracked me. Elias himself still took three days to find where I ran. If I was hungry, she found a way to food. When I was sick, she found shelter."
"Is Nyka a shifter?" Wren asked.
"I don't know. To say I understood anything about Nyka would be a lie. But she holds an honor to me as high as your fiancé does to you." She crossed her arms and turned back to Nyka's body. The lionesses were done and gathered off to the side, kneeling. "Ready Zelick and your horse, Wren. We'll leave as soon as Nyka's soul is carried in the winds."
She didn't know if Wren left. Ayla stepped up with a torch in hand.
"While I think this is a stupid tradition, as stupid as the humans burying perfectly good meat to rot in a grave, I am sorry for your loss," Ayla said, handing her the torch. "The respect your kind has for all of the Goddess' creatures is well known."
Siobhan nodded, but said nothing. She couldn't. Something had wedged itself in her throat, even if she knew the feeling wasn't real. She grabbed the torch and stepped toward the wood. Part of her continued to hope Nyka would wake and it would all be a misunderstanding. The horse was a gift sent by the Goddess herself, it was only fair she was returned to where she came.
"Thank you, Nyka. For everything."
Siobhan looked at the flame flickering against the torch, eating the wood like a hungry beast. Fire and she never got along. When she was nine, she was playing a game with her younger brother. They were running through the streets, chasing each other, when Siobhan hid in an abandoned shack. He was supposed to find her, but she didn't factor in the fact he was only four and didn't know the game as well as she did. Hours passed and he never showed, but Siobhan continued to wait.
It wasn't until the smoke filled the tight space she started to panic. It happened too fast and her only exit was blocked by the orange demon snapping and flickering, eating the wood walls. Heat made the air impossible to breath, swallowing her screams with it. That day was the first time her magic truly awoke. She'd always had access to it, but it was little more than a flicker of frost across her fingers, control was easy and she didn't understand the constant need for control lessons. In one fleeting moment, when the flames licked her skin, her power exploded and sent the entire city into a summertime snow.
Her father never let her near fire again after that day, not if he could help it anyway.
Siobhan sighed and turned her eyes away from the flame. Her fear of fire had long since vanished, when relying on it for warmth and meals it's hard to be afraid. Still, in that moment the fire tugged on her heart as heavy as the death of Nyka.
"May the Goddess accept your soul into her grand bosom and may it be free to return when time calls upon you again," she said. The roars of the lionesses rose when Siobhan touched the flame to the wood under Nyka's body. "Let the ash carry you from this life into the next, be free my dearest Nyka."
Siobhan stepped back when the flame caught hold of the table. She tossed the torch into the building inferno and pressed her hand to her lips, blowing a kiss to her faithful companion. Her eyes wouldn't move away from the warm glow even as it consumed Nyka's body and sent the brown smoke and ash waffling into the sky. The lionesses rose from their knees and disbanded, leaving only Briana.
"There is something I must discuss with you before you leave," Briana said, "It's about Wren."
"He's not completely human, is he?"
"No, he isn't. The way his eyes changed when he became angry, his sudden strength . . . those are not things that should happen with a human."
Siobhan glanced over her shoulder to Wren. He stood between Zelick and his nameless beast, holding their reins. Snow speckled his dark hair, the wind shifting the greasy strands. Like most magical creatures, looking at him as he was there was no evidence of power burrowing within him. Even with his outburst, she had no sense of magic. But Briana was right, his eyes shouldn't have changed colors with the rise of his anger. Though she wanted to pretend it was her exhaustion, the fact Briana had seen it too meant she couldn't deny it. Not every magic creature had the power flowing through them evident, but they all had something that set them apart from a normal human.
Wren had nothing. It was as if he had a permanent changeling potion boiling through him, masking any potential difference he might've had.
"What is he? I know he isn't a mage, I can't sense any magic within him. Is he a shifter?"
Briana shook her head. "I don't know what he is. Be careful with him, Ice Fang, I'm not sure he even knows what he truly is."