Eyes red from crying, Bobbi steps inside her home and her eyes instantly land on the picture of her mom on the bookshelf, reminding her of what she did to Roberto in Gracious Gardens; she frowns and turns her head away from the photo. Winces at the guilt sitting in the pit of her stomach.
Forces herself to look back at the picture. In the photo, Olivia sits in a field of flowers, her brown hair blown back by the wind, smiling cheerfully. She wears a heart printed summer dress and brown sandals. She looks so young and free and happy; it's Bobbi's favourite picture of her.
She places her hand on the picture frame, very gently, like it's the most dainty and fragile object in the world. She smiles softly and takes a step back from the picture when she hears her father's footsteps.
Startled at the sight of her, Lucas says, 'You're home early.' Wipes down some spilled coffee off the rim of his cup with the hem of his sleeve sweater. He wears his glasses atop his nose, which means he's working – as always.
Bobbi blinks at him, snapping out of her daze. 'Yeah.' Her voice quiet. Remembering why she came home early, she huffs and she crosses her arms. Averts her eyes from her father's and she says shyly, 'Can you break off this deal you have with Roberto and call the cops?'
'Is that something you really want?' he inquires, narrowing his eyes on her, wondering what's going on.
All the feelings she shook off in the shop falls heavily on her. She's so sick and tired and stressed of the drama with Nicholas and how Roberto switches from being infuriating to polite and back to annoying again. Can't think straight with everything getting to her. She doesn't do well under stress and slapping Roberto is one action to prove that. Usually reasonable and wise with decision-making and getting things done but not when she's worked up about something.
'Yes. Very much.'
Guess this isn't one of those times. Albeit her eyes move from left to right before staying down on the floor.
'Doll, it was an accident. I heard him say it, and he's a genuine kid. I see something good in him but maybe that's down to me being a softie. I know you're... it's... if it was anything deliberate you know I'd take serious action. Besides, and you're not gonna like this, I have a big job from a huge firm who needs me to audit their papers, so I'm too busy; I'm busy with work for a while. And even if I were to send Roberto off, think of his family-'
'He doesn't care about ours!' she retorts, her hands ball into fists by her side, livid.
Lucas, trying to reason with her, puts his mug on the coffee table, sits down, and looks up at his daughter. 'Doll, you know you don't have to work with him. It's his punishment. Our deal. If you're not happy with it, then stay out of it. If you can't work with him then stop. Let him do his job and you go back to worrying about school.' Takes his glasses off and inhales a deep breath, massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. His way to relieve stress. He was awake since six am.
With clenched teeth, Bobbi says, 'You know why I'm doing it. I'm showing you and mom I can be responsible and own Gracious Gardens.' Her voice laces in irritation but she contains her anger. I'm not an angry person.
'Then what are you doing here?' he snaps.
His question hits Bobbi right in the heart. She wonders how much pain her heart can take after everything that happened. Her heart shatters into a million pieces. After Gracious Gardens burning down, more bad things follow and are stomping all over her heart. Crushing it, tearing at it, and spitting on it. Her heart is lost in a dark place; lonely and never to be put together again.
Lucas squeezes his eyes shut at his outburst. The hurt in her eyes is unmistakable and he wants it to go away. 'What did he do to make you come home?' he asks in a gentler tone than his last. His eyes full of remorse at his behaviour, he hopes Bobbi can forgive him.
Bobbi is shamefaced at the answer she's about to give, her eyes trailing to the wooden floor. 'He- I was in a bad mood and he kinda joked with me and I- I just lost it.' She scrutinizes at the magazine under the glass surface of the coffee table. The front page shows the usual latest gossip: "Pop Star Zac George has a secret girl on the side? Where's Andrea?" Then in smaller print: "She's an ordinary girl, so is this something real?" With the headline shows a dark and slightly blurred picture of famous singer Zac George in his car with an unidentified girl, hugging. Bobbi has yet to read that article; she has been keeping up with the drama. Forcing herself to go back to the situation at hand, she brings her eyes up to her father. Lucas looks at her in disbelief, which makes her go into further detail.
'But that's not it!' she exclaims. 'He once showed up late, he- he teases me, annoys me, and procrastinates! He... he,' she rushes out and looks around her as she tries to justify herself. There needs to be more to convince her dad, but nothing much comes to mind. 'He's unreliable!' She knows they're not true for some days of the work, but she's not thinking straight.
Lucas cocks his head to the side, confused as he tries to take in all her words. 'So, what? He made a joke with you and...' he trails off purposely for her to finish for him.
She slumps her shoulders, embarrassed about what she did. 'Well, like I said I was already in a bad mood and his silly joke just tested my patience so... I...' she purses her lips, 'I slapped him and threw him out.' Her voice is quiet, and she keeps her head down to avoid the look her father may be giving her. Worries her dad might stop her from working there again. Awaits his response, anticipating his words.
Lucas stares at her in shock; his bushy eyebrows raised and his lips slightly parted. With furrowed brows, he asks, 'Where is he now?'
A shrug of her shoulders, she mumbles, 'I don't know.' Her eyebrows knit together as she lowers her head.
'Bobbi,' Lucas starts and looks at her seriously, 'if you want to show me and your mom that you can be responsible with Gracious Gardens, you're gonna have to find him and apologise. Hitting him is way out of line.'
'I know... I'm sorry.'
'That's good practice. Go find him.'
I deserved that. She takes her dad's hand for him to stand and when he does she hugs him, praying he isn't disappointed in her and can forgive her for hitting someone. Hopefully Roberto can do the same. She doesn't know. There are more times she hit him that her dad doesn't know of.
**
Bobbi brings her feet to Roberto's house and scolds herself for being irrational, afraid of how Roberto feels after she hit him. She lets out a small wail as she stands outside his yard, remembering this is the house for sale a couple of months ago that Roberto's family moved into. Knocks three times and rocks on the balls of her feet, waiting.
Doesn't know what to expect when someone comes to the door, leaving it ajar. A young boy who looks to be ten peaks his head out. He looks like a younger version of Roberto, but with brown eyes instead of grey, and his hair is the same shade of brown.
'Hello?' His voice is angelic and he looks innocent as he studies Bobbi.
Aw... he's so cute, she thinks as her heart melts a bit at the sound of his voice. 'Hi there, is Roberto in?'
The little boy turns his head back inside the house. 'Roberto! Someone by the door for you!'
Roberto groans discouragingly from inside. Shouts something back in Italian.
The little boy raises his index finger at Bobbi to wait a moment. He's so cute, and look how considerate he is to speak English in front of me for me to feel involved and understand... how sweet. Aw, he's adorable, she thinks again and smiles, gushing over him. The boy turns his back on her and says in a monotone voice, 'It's one of your hot girls.'
Okay, I didn't need to know that.
Bobbi's eyebrows skyrocket at his words, her eyes wide, and her chin moving inward to her neck. He doesn't seem so innocent after all; she wonders if Roberto's arrogance passed down to him. Also, "one of your hot girls"? Bobbi doesn't even want to get started on that.
'Coming!' he shouts enthusiastically.
Bobbi rolls her eyes at his change of mood. Hears the sound of voices being switched off - he must have been watching television. At the door with his charming smile he uses on every girl, Roberto brushes his right hand through his hair to give him that 'sexy-natural-laidback' look he knows all girls in school love. Bites on his lower lip seductively, but when it's Bobbi Grace at the door, the flirtatious look he has going on drops and is replaced with a scowl.
'Matteo, you said it was a hot girl,' he says, complaining to his little brother.
'She is,' Matteo snorts, and goes inside to give them privacy.
Roberto watches his brother walk inside, then his grey eyes drop to his feet whilst he rubs his right shoulder, deep in thought. Bobbi isn't quite sure if she could read his expression, but he looks at her and blinks out of his thoughts, remembering she's there. Clears his throat and steps outside of his house, closing the door behind him.
'What do you want, Bobbi Grace?' His voice is cold and hard. Folds his arms across his chest. His face shows no emotions, probably strong in a situation like this, whereas Bobbi isn't. Whenever she apologises to someone, she would almost cry; that's how sensitive and apologetic she would be.
'I'm sorry for slapping you. I'm having a very bad day and I couldn't really keep everything in- I'm not making any excuses for it. I'm sorry. I promise I'll be better from tomorrow and onwards. You know, you- you suggested we be on better terms and I want to try that with you.'
Keeps her head down, her converses interesting her as she shuffles her right foot.
'I'm not working with you, Bobbi. I don't want you there anymore.'
What? He wants to work alone? How is Bobbi going to show her parents they can trust her with Gracious Gardens? How can Roberto work alone? He doesn't know every detail of what the flower shop looked like before he burned it down. Bobbi wants everything to be back like the fire never started, right down to the very last detail. How can she when she couldn't be there?
She opens her mouth to justify herself, but he speaks over her. 'I'm serious. I can't take your abuse, verbally and physically.' She tries to apologise again, but Roberto doesn't let her talk. 'No, Bobbi Grace!'
'Nothing you can say can make me change my mind. I never wanted to work with you. I don't know what's gotten you so driven to work with me. Yeah, I get it, you don't trust me, but I can do it without you. I don't wanna mess up. I know you want me to, maybe that's why you push me so much. You might think I'll give up, but I won't. I feel so grateful your dad made this deal with me. I don't want to screw it up. And I know I would if you're there.' He scratches his right shoulder, refusing to look at her.
Bobbi's eyes well up when Roberto finally looks at her. His jaw juts out and he rolls his eyes at her, and she blinks her tears away. 'Now don't cry over it, Bobbi. It may work on your mama and papa but not for me. Just let me have some space.'
'You don't get it- that's the thing...' Her voice is hoarse. Just tell him, she thinks. He'll understand if she tells him the truth of why she wants to work with him. There's no point in hiding it. His move to Kylemore is permanent. He will always be here. Eventually word will get around to him.
She looks to the sky, chomping down on her bottom lip, finding the words to tell him. Looks around their surroundings and doesn't want to tell him in his yard, maybe somewhere with more privacy.
'Can we go somewhere more private? I wanna tell you something.'
She pats on the side of her thighs, clicks her fingers and holds her hands together to stop from fidgeting. Although she bounces on her right leg but stops and bites her tongue. Can she really tell him?
'No. Whatever you have to say, tell me here. There's no one around.'
Not wanting to cause an argument, Bobbi takes a deep breath. 'Okay then.' Takes another deep breath as she avoids eye contact with him, her eyes tearing up and she clears her throat. Hates opening up. Can't take the sorrow and emptiness inside.
'The reason why I want to work in the shop with you and why I kind of...' trails off as she thinks of the right words, 'I don't know, lose it and don't deal with things very well is because Gracious Gardens is my mom's, who is not with us anymore. She died when I was very young.'
She hadn't said those words in what could be ten years. It makes her realise it'll be something she'll have to say when she goes to college and meet new friends. Maybe co-workers when she gets a job. She takes a shaky breath, her chest tightening and her throat closing up, tears comforting her eyes. Her mind is blank of thoughts except for one: I wish I could've had more time with her. That's what hurts the most.
Finally, she lifts her gaze to check on Roberto, who pales, his jaw on the ground. It makes her realise she did tell him, and her heart beats rapidly against her chest that she rubs it to ease the pain, but it doesn't work.
'Wha-what?' His voice a whisper. He scratches behind his neck and rubs his right shoulder. 'Bobbi, if this is some sort of joke-'
'Why would I joke about- about my mom?' Her voice is in a higher octave, in a state of incredulity. Her heart feels like it has been gouged out by those words she despised saying. Claustrophobic by those words that echoes in her ears.
'I'm so sorry,' he whispers, takes her hand in his.
She squeezes her eyes shut and pulls her hand back. 'No, please don't.' Doesn't want to hear it again. Heard it all before. She didn't want old feelings and thoughts coming back to haunt her. She doesn't want the sympathy she got years before when it happened. It was all too much for a young child and she still couldn't cope now. 'I can't...' she whispers this time as a tear falls down her cheek.
Roberto steps forward, offering a hug, and she kindly accepts as he encloses her in a warm and comforting embrace. He doesn't say a word. Knows words can't do anything. He just holds her in his arms and feels nothing but guilt. Even worse. Bobbi even feels his heart beat rapidly in his chest as she cries.
'Let's take a walk,' he suggests, putting a hand on her back as they exit his garden.
**
After a while, Bobbi pulls away from Roberto from their side hug whilst they sit. She blushes when she catches sight of her tears on his green sweater, but he doesn't seem to mind.
They're on a bench in the local park for a while. It's quiet and empty, the smell of freshly cut grass evident, a cold breezes brushing by; it's cold and late for children to be in the park. Only one person is walking through the park with their dog, which is a small black poodle with a blue checkered coat on – how adorable.
Bobbi's bloodshot eyes are tired from crying and she wipes her nose with the end of her sleeve. Roberto shows the guilt in his eyes, still in shock by what she told him.
He pouts as he stares at the ground with his eyebrows knit together. Fidgets with his thumbs, suddenly nervous and shy. 'Can I ask how old you were when she...' He can't finish his question. The words get caught in his throat and he brushes a hand through his hair multiple times.
It was the first time one of them started conversation as they just fell into a comfortable, understanding silence when they entered the park. Bobbi figures Roberto was trying to adjust to the news, take it in, and he was.
'I was four.'
She stares blankly at a rock, like she's watching the memory, her eyes watering again. She didn't know she could cry so many tears in one evening. Blinks her tears away, her heart aching at the memory of the night Lucas told her the bad news.
'She died in a car accident; it wasn't weather to drive in. My dad sat me on my bed and told me she wasn't coming back. Apparently she had gone to the store after work. I don't know what for, but it was something important.' The skin on her forehead creases as she tries to remember, but realises her father never told her what. 'My dad told me she went to Heaven, to see God. I asked him if we could go, too, because I wanted to be with her, always.' She smiles, as does Roberto, but her smile slowly fades away. 'My dad said we couldn't go... and she couldn't come back... If I could even have one day...' Her breathing gets heavy as more tears fall.
Roberto wraps his arm around her shoulder. 'Sh...' he coos. 'Don't do this to yourself,' he whispers softly in her ear. Holds her close, and she rests her head on his shoulder. 'I'm so sorry for all the horrible things I said to you,' he says sincerely. He closes his eyes and whispers, 'I'm so stupid. The way I went on like I knew you that day, saying how you spend your time with your mama, going shopping and all when she... I got you all wrong, Bobbi Grace.'
'That's why I work hard in school. Why I work in the café and flower shop when I have time. I wanna be like my mom so I can feel like we have these things in common, and it'll make me happy thinking I'm making her happy. I want her to see that even though she isn't here she inspires me every day.'
She knows her dad, uncle, Jamelia, and Nick tell her Olivia is proud, but she just wants to feel it.
'I understand. You want that connection again. I miss my family back home. Although, I gotta start calling this place home but I just don't feel it yet. Italy will always be home and I wanna go back. I'm sorry this isn't about me.'
'No, don't be. It's always nice to hear someone else talking instead of listening to my own voice.' It's a warm silence for a while until Bobbi says, 'I'm sorry.'
'For what? Slapping me? It's alright,' he reassures her. After this talk, it's nothing to him now. 'I'm used to it.' Can't help but smile lopsidedly.
A little titter escapes her lips. Becomes serious and she elaborates. 'I'm apologising for the time I said you'll end up a low life and living in a trailer. When I said there's no potential in you... that was really mean. I can't make any excuses for that; it was really horrible. No one should get told that. I hate that I said it.' She looks around her, guilt-ridden, at the grass in front of her and some bushes behind the benches across from them. 'And for slapping you, of course,' she adds.
Roberto gives her a lopsided smile. He gets up and holds his hand out to her. 'I really appreciate that, thanks. Now come on, I'll take you home.' Bobbi smiles and accepts his hand to get up. 'Because we have a long day in Gracious Gardens tomorrow.'