I wake up in the morning, feeling like my eyes were going to fall out of my skull. I sit there for a while, thinking.
**
"Wow.." He says. I nod. "I know. I hope he's alright. He's probably got a huge hang over." I tell him. He touches my hand. "I'm sure he's fine." He says as he glides his fingers on my hand. I stare at him a bit. "You know.. My dad really likes you." I confess. His eyebrows go up. "Really? But I did nothing but listen to him talk." He says. I chuckle. "Well he does. And he was asking me to give you a chance.." His expression softens.
"Oh really?.. He asked you that?.." He asks in a whisper. I grin and nod. "Yes. He did." I respond. His dark orbs stare into mine. "And you told him?.." He asks. I smile. "I'm willing.." I say happily.
Maybe this is what I need. To get Hoseok out of my mind, to get all my pieces back together.
He smiles. "Really? Are you sure?" He asks. I chuckle. "What? You don't want me to?" His eyebrows go up and he shakes his head rapidly. "No its not that. I just thought.. You didn't like me." He says. I grin. "Okay. At first. You were real pushy and awkward." He chuckles. "But.. I really am starting liking you. And my dad made me realize that I need to give you a chance." I say. "Even if he was intoxicated and he doesnt remember saying that."
I look at his hand on mine. "You're cute. You know that?" He asks. I look up at him, our eyes locking and my face is hotter than ever. "No.. I didn't know that.. And its not true." I say. He tilts his head and frowns. "You can't be in denial. Its always good to have confidence you know. Many people find it attractive.. Including me." He says. And before I can say anything his phone beeps.
"Ah. Our break is over... Maybe.. After work today I can treat you to some dinner if that's okay with you?" He asks getting up, I get up too. "Oh yeah!.. Sure! I'd love to!" I say with a smile. He nods. "I'll come on over to your office when you clock out." He says. I nod. "Okay." I smile. He throws me his signature smile and leaves the break room.
**
The rest of the day was full of the stuff I hate most. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. No. Basically everything got on my nerves. God how I hate offices.
My dad decides to send his intern to get me so that we can talk. "Faith. Your father would like to see you in his office." She says. "Oh goodie." I say in the most sarcastic tone ever. I make my way to his office. Today I had hoped that I wouldn't have to see his face after last night. But like that was ever going to happen. I open the glass door. He looks up from his work looking completely fine, like he hadn't downed two whole bottles of wine last night.
"Ah. Faith! Please come in." He says. I make my way over to the seat in front of his huge desk. I sit down. "What?" I ask. His tiny smile goes away. "Can't I just thank my daughter for the best birthday she's given me?" He asks. I roll my eyes.
"We do the same thing every single year dad. Oh! Are you saying it was the best cause you yelled at me and threw a wine glass as the wall? Maybe that was the best part.. Or! The part where you got stupid drunk and you refused to accept my act of kindness." I nod and my eyebrows go up. "So which one was it dad?" I ask crossing my arms. He looks pissed.
"Look Faith. Maybe you don't care enough to understand that I'm a very lonely man. And that the only day I receive love from my daughter is only in my birthday. Not even on Christmas. Or thanksgiving. Heck, not even on fathers day." I'm dumb struck. He's actually saying these words. He's sober saying these words. "So when I say that it was the best birthday. I mean it." He says. I sit there, wondering what happened to my father.
If maybe an alien invaded his body and that this isn't him at all. Then I realize that this must be a one time kind of thing, yeah! That's probably it, PFF. Aliens, what was I thinking?
I sit there quietly, not saying a word. "So.. I.. I left some left over in the break room.. And everyone loved it.." He finally says, his pen tapping against his desk. I nod. "That's good." I say. He nods his head along. I find myself looking out the large windows. "Oh!" He says making me look at him. "Have you talked to Shawn?" He asks. I find myself cringing. "Dad.. Why are you doing this?" I ask. He looks mad again.
"Why am I doing what? Talking to my only daughter?" I stand up. "Yes! Why!?" His eyebrows knit together. "Because you're my daughter!" He yells. I run my fingers through my hair furiously. "What's this really about dad? How come all of a sudden you want to act like a dad and socialize with me? Trying to figure out what's going in my life? When you haven't even cared for most of my existence." He then looks hurt. "I called you up here because.." He stops.
And I'm surprised to see him this way. "I found your mother." He says. I fall back in the chair. "What?" I ask in complete shock. I can hear my pulse pumping in my ears. "I found out where your mother is." He says. My eyes tear up and I bite my lip to stop myself from crying. "You did?" I ask. He nods. "After all these years of searching. We've found her. Turns out she's been trying to contact us. You and I." He says. I blink back my tears.
Was this real? Was I really hearing this with my own ears?
A whimper leaves my lips. "She has?" I ask covering my mouth with my hand. His eyes water. "Yes. And she wants to see you." I break down, but he doesn't comfort me. Of course be wouldn't. I wipe my tears. "Wait." I catch onto his words. "You've been trying to find her for his long?" I ask. His eyebrows go up. "Since she left." He says. I shake my head. "It took years for you to find her?" I ask. His eyebrows knit.
"Yes. Its very hard to find a person who doesn't want to be found." He says. I'm confused with his words. "But you said that she's been trying to contact us." I say. He nods. "Who knows. Maybe she barely started trying to contact us." My eyebrows knit. "Wait. So you're saying that. Maybe she waisted 11 years or so and randomly decided that she wants to contact us." He nods. "Yes. That's what I'm thinking." He says. I clap my hands together.
"Oh!" I let out laugh. "So. Now you're so sure that my mom barely started trying to contact us. Oh yeah. Cause you're such a pro." I say. He looks mad. "Its a hunch. Maybe she didn't want to be found. But thought that since she was finally on the grid that she might as well contact us." He says. His words anger me. "So.. You're saying.. That just because she's near here. She wanted to contact us." He nods. "Wow dad. I thought that you'd think highly of her." I say getting up.
"Highly? Really!? She left you Faith! She's the one that walked away!" He yells. I walk towards the door. "I wish she would have taken me with her so that I wouldn't have had to live with a father who doesn't know how to love his daughter. And then maybe. Just maybe. I would be doing what I love. Not stuck behind a stupid desk, soon to take over a company I hate, with people I don't know. And you know what dad?"
I stare at him with tears in my eyes as he just stares at me blankly, as if not caring what I was saying. "I don't love you." I say barging out if the room, not looking back.
**
I sit in my office, crying my eyes out. Once again. This crying and heart broken sensation is all too familiar. My breath hitches as I look up to the ceiling. "Why? Why now?.." I whisper to myself. I hear a knock at my door. I sit up straight and wipe my tears. "Come in." I say. And for a split second, I thought it would be my father. That he'd come and comfort me, telling me that everything will be okay. "Faith?" I hear Shawn call out.
"Oh yeah. Hi Shawn." He walks in and his face drops. "Faith.. Are you okay?" He asks rushing up to me. "No.. I'm fine.." I say in complete denial. He shakes his head and walks over to me, pulling me into a hug. "You're such a bad liar .." He whispers. I bury my face in his dress shirt. "I'm sorry you have to see me this way. I must look so weak." I say in a whimper. He releases the hug. "No. I'd never think that." He says. He uses his thumb to wipe my tears.
"Let's get out of here." He says. I nod in response.
**
"What are you going to do then?" He asks. I look down at my untouched plate. "I don't know... What should I do Shawn?" I ask, my voice cracking. My eyes begin to water, and my bottom lip begins to quiver. "I think.. If you really miss your mom.. You should see her..." He says. I nod in response. He was right. "Then you can find out why she left." He says. "You're right.." I tell him. He grins.
"So... I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies with me this Friday?" He asks. My heart skips a beat. "I'd love to." He smiles. "But we're actually going to watch the movie right? Not going to be making out the whole time?" He laughs. "No. We're going to watch the movie." He smiles. I chuckle. "Okay." He then smirks. "Unless you want to.." ,"No!" I laugh. He breaks out into a loud laugh. My laughs dim down and I stare at him with a smile on my face.
"Thanks Shawn.." I say my smile getting bigger, if that was even possible. He looks at me confused. "For what?" He asks looking nervous with his face turning red. "For making me feel better." I chuckle. He then smiles that smile that makes my heart stop. "You're welcome.. I like to see you smile.. You look cute when you smile." He says. I feel my face heat up.
**
"No no!" I scream and laugh at the same time. "Awe come on! Just a bite!" He says forcing it in my face. "No way in hell I'll going to eat a cricket." I tell him. He laughs. "But its chocolate covered." He says. "So!!?" I yell. "Awe come on Faith. Don't be a party pooper. If you eat this we'll do what ever you want." He say. I stop struggling and smirk at him. "I have a bad feeling about this." He says. I chuckle and take the stupid thing from his fingers.
"How do I eat this?" I ask, it felt so gross in between my fingers. He takes the rest in his hand. "Ewe!!! You're going to eat all of those!?" I ask. He chuckles "yeah. Why not?" He asks. "And you just throw it in your mouth." He says. "Like a pill." He says. I look down a this insect covered in chocolate in my hand. "Ready?" He asks. I lick my lips. "Okay." I say. "1. 2. 3." He says and we put the insects in our mouth.
The crunch of the bug makes me want to gag, the only thing that makes it bareable is the chocolate. I swallow it. "Ewe. That was gross." I tell him, the dirt taste lingers on my tongue. He smiles and begins to laugh. "Now what?" He asks. I turn back to look at the savory treats displayed in a glass window. "How about..." I point to at cute little animal cakes in cups. "That!" I poke the glass. "Ah The Menagerie." I nod and look at him.
"Two Menageries." He tells the girl behind the desk. "Okay. Which animal?" I look back at the pastries. "I want the cat." I say looking at the girl. "Make that two." Shawn says.
**
"Thank you for today Shawn.." I tell him as I stand on the door step to my house. He smiles. "You're so welcome Faith.. I don't like to see you so down.." He says taking a step closer to me. "And you're not weak you know.. You're very strong. Stronger than you know." He says. The steps made me a bit taller than him. I let him come closer to me, I want him to. I place my hands on his face, and be wraps his arms around my waist. I smile at him.
"Thanks.." I whisper before I press my lips against his. He deepens the kiss. Everything is going great, my heart can finally be healed. I'm finally letting myself feel things I wouldn't have let myself feel a couple weeks ago.