What if?
What if we should be thankful for everything? What if we should still be thankful for the past? Yes it was a horrific time in our lives but at the same time so much change took place. Without that change we all wouldn't be where we are today. What if we should all be thankful that that change took place? For without it there would be a lot of things different at this day...
What if? What if? What if...
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I told Peeta about the letter on the way over. He seems very open to spending Christmas in 4. When we arrive at the door we are welcomed cheerfully, Joe in Effie's arms as we half hug hello. She nods to Sophie in my arms whose blotchy face gives away she was crying. I tell her that she fell and Effie nods in realisation. She then says happy thanksgiving before going to say hello to Peeta. I turn to Haymitch who has Maysilee and Hailey in his arms as he says
"Hello sweetheart"
I shake my head, a smile crossing my lips as I say jokingly
"You know if there weren't kids in my life as well as yours I would have definitely punched you for calling me sweetheart by now"
He laughs and patting me on the shoulder he says
"I know"
We all make our way into the kitchen and Peeta places the food he prepared on the table with all the other food. Peeta and Haymitch bring more food from the kitchen once I have taken Maysilee and Hailey from Haymitch. I follow Effie up the stairs and we put all children in their separate cots, place a pacifier in their mouth and watch as they fall asleep. I say in a hushed voice
"Are they always like this? No problem at all?"
Effie looks at me like I'm crazy and says
"Oh no. They usually don't become a hassle until 3am"
I laugh quietly and we return downstairs. When we return we all sit down to eat immediately, I'm glad because I didn't like the idea of having to cough over the rumbling of my stomach. The food is divine and I have to control the amount I'm eating at the one time. Its only now I remember I hadn't eaten lunch. Throughout the dinner we begin to talk about Christmas. I explain about Annie asking us to district 4, a bit worried that they would have nobody else to have dinner with but luckily Effie explains that they have visitors coming to stay
"My sister Angeline and her husband William are coming down for Christmas. They have yet to meet the triplets so its really great to see them for the holidays! We met them on our honeymoon, William is from district 1 you see"
Once dinner is over we go into the living room, put on a movie for Sophie and continue to talk more. When we eventually leave its dark out. I carry Sophie over my shoulder until we reach the house. I then change her into her pyjamas and put her straight to bed before returning downstairs. I meet Peeta in the kitchen and immediately he pulls me toward him, arms around my waist as he looks deep into my eyes. I feel the words running through my mind spill out of my mouth but I don't try to stop them
"You know as every year comes and goes I know that one thing I will always be thankful for is having you in my life. I will always be thankful to walk in the door and meet you. I will always be thankful for all the wonderful memories I have with you"
He smiles. He says back in reply
"I'll always be thankful I threw the bread to you Katniss. I will always be thankful I had the privilege to have you in my life. I'll always be thankful to wake up and know that at I will see you. I'll be thankful for the rest of my life if I can see your beautiful face everyday"
I smile, so hard my cheeks hurt but I don't care. I feel my body leaning towards him until our lips touch. My body shudders with the rush of energy, I feel myself steadying by his arms supporting me. We continue to kiss for a while, pulling away for gulps of air before resuming. Moments like this remind me to be thankful for everything. To be thankful for even the past. Yes it was horrific and no a lot of it was not a good time in my life but the past was the stepping stones that got us all where we are today. I'm thankful for this life and all the twists and turns that came with it. Yes we've had it rough, yes I'm bent and scarred and damaged. But I'm also happy and content in this life, now that I have overridden the bad period of my life. Of course there is more bad times to come but also good times. This life isn't perfect, it isn't extraordinary or generally that exciting but I wouldn't trade it for the world.