Albert's POV.
I knew it. I knew that I should've apologised to her right in the moment she walked away from me. I should have grabbed her arm to make her look at me. I should have told her how afraid I was of losing her and that's the main reason why I'm always talking to her about Andrew. I should have made her stay with me. I fucking should.
Instead, I pushed her away. I told her to leave me alone and, worst, I said that I didn't love her back. After everything she told me about how afraid she was to blindly show her feelings, she said she loved me.
She was completely honest with me and I just lied to her. I said I didn't love her back. I confirmed the first fear she had when we started our relationship.
During this whole time, I've been trying to take her fears and insecurities away and now I just grabbed them and put them right on the surface.
I know how bad she's feeling right now, how hurt she is. That's why I had to enter in my room. I couldn't say these things while looking into her eyes.
I couldn't. Every word that came out of my mouth simply destroyed every single piece of me. A hole of pain formed in my throat and I never saw tears falling from my eyes like that way before. Even when my father died.
I want to go to her house, jump through the window and tell her how much I love her and that I only said those hurtful things to prevent her from suffering. I want to fall on my kness and beg her for forgiveness and the worst feeling is that I know she would forgive me. She always does no matter how badly I fuck things up.
She can live without me and she's not dependent on me like I am on her.
And even feeling like admiting this is kicking the shit out of me, Andrew can make her happy. He can make her smile and he's a better influence for her. I want to beat him so hard right now for even thinking this of him.
I just don't know what to do now. I changed classes because of her.. Yes, I didn't like chemistry but the main reason I changed was because of her. I wanted to look at her by the corner of my eye, I wanted to follow every moment of her. The way she holds her pen on her right hand and the way she hides beneath her hair.
On the first day in her class, I seated on the desk next to hers and I was so fucking nervous. I was afraid of her reaction by my precocious approaching.
I remember the day I walked her to her class with the excuse of finding Sophia. I just wanted to spent some time with her and she was looking at me in such a strange way.
She was staring at me but not like other people do. She was detailing me, reading me. And having a person who wanted to know me, the real me, was so new back then.
I lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes. I feel a twist of anxiety on my stomach because I never tried to sleep again since I slept beside her on her room but I have to try. I have to learn how to survive without her. I have done it before, I can do it now.
Emily's POV.
I wanted to run back to Sophia's house, burst to his bedroom door and slap him. I wanted to say hateful things to him so he would have felt as much as bad as I did but I didn't want to. I love him more than anything in the world, even if he doesn't love me back.
Contrary to what he tries to show to other people he's sensitive too. I know he is. The way he hugs me, the way he kisses me and holds me, the way he just simply touches me is enough to prove that he truly cares about me. He might not love me, but I know he cares.
I can feel it in the way he talks to me, on his sweet smile and even when he just glances at me.
He closed me the door. He said he didn't love me without even having the nerve to say it to my face. I want to challenge him. I don't want to give him up, not just yet. Not after everything we've been through. After he told me his story about his father and his somnambulism. Not after that.
He's trying to protect me from him just like he did after his somnambulism attack.
I just have to hold him and tell him it's okay.
I decide to take a how shower and change to my pyjamas. I feel bad for leaving Sophia's birthday party. I will call her tomorrow on her birthday. I believe she will understand though, especially when I just discovered from Albert that she lied about James being a friend of Andrew.
**
It's ten A.M. I lift my head from my pillow and I feel my mind racing. I take a long shower and grab a white warm pullover with black skinny jeans.
I need to take a cab to Oxford Street so I can buy Sophia's birthday present.
As I step out of the cab and walk along the avenue, I start imagining how my future will be. I always dreamed about studying law in the University of Oxford. They have a such a well known and great law department. I can't wait to go to UNI.
I enter on TopShop. It's one of my favourite clothing shops along with Zara so I think Sophia will like it. Besides when we shopped together she took me to Piccadilly Circus so I think I'm on the way to go. I'm terrible at buying gifts.
Albert's POV.
It's eleven A.M.
I feel a weird ache on my chest, like a beating.
I'm not spending the whole day locked up in this damn house so I take a shower and grab a white sweater and jeans.
"Good Morning dear," My mum says approaching to me with her arms open.
"Hi, mum..?" Why is she all sentimental all of a sudden?
"Dear, are you okay? You seem sick.." My mum lays the back of her hand on my forehead making me feel like a fucking five year old kid.
"Mum, I'm fine. " I huff pushing her hand away.
"Dear, have you been taking your sedatives?" My mum asks and I'm literally dumb. I haven't been taking my sedatives because I've been sleeping next to Emily and I don't need those fucking pills when I'm with her. She's my happy little pill.
"Mum, I'm okay."
"How was Sophia's birthday party yesterday? Did you have fun?"
Actually, I broke up with my girlfriend.
"It was lame." I shrug and grab a toast from the table.
"How's Emily?" My mum asks and I know she's trying to change the subject into something that I like to talk about. Too bad for her that we broke up.
"I don't know." I ask focusing on the TV.
"Ohh, I see.. Is she upset with something that you did?" My mum sits on the edge of the couch.
Hey! Why do I always have to be the one to blame?
"Yes." I simply answer. It's true though. Emily is upset with me saying that I didn't love her back.
"Oh, are you going back together?" My mum slightly smiles.
"Nope." I try to ignore the fact that she's staring at me waiting for a better and detailed answer which is also not fucking happening.
"Why is that?"
"Well, shit happens." I shrug. I'm trying to pretend that I don't care about her, when in reality I love her more than I like breathing.
"Albert, I'm your mother, do not talk to me like that." My mum says with a serious expression.
"Sorry." I shrug and focus on the TV. My mum is the one making me questions about Emily! Why can't people just mind in their own business?!
"Well, I'm sure you'll work the things out," My mum stands up from the couch.
"Why are you so sure?"
"Because I know how much that lovely girl likes you and I know you like her too." My mum smiles.
"She doesn't like me. Not anymore." I look again to the TV.
"Of course she does."
"She said she loved me and I said I didn't love her back. I broke up with her." I look at my mum.
"Well, hopefully, you're a terrible liar, son." My mum smiles and goes to the kitchen.
I am a terrible liar? That's all? No long speech about how fucked up I am? How insensitive I became?
Emily's POV.
I bought a black sweatshirt with the NASA logo on the side and a matching bracelet. I think Sophia will like it! Besides, it's from TopShop so you can always change for anything good here.
I thought in writing her some sort of birthday card but with this whole mess happening between Albert and I, I'm not really in the mood for deep words and beautiful adjectives and metaphors.
I miss Albert. During the whole time I was on that shop I imagine how bored Albert would be and I just kept remembering when Albert sweetly kissed my leg on that changing room to prove me how much he loved every bit of me.
He always makes me feel so special and every cute gesture he makes still makes my stomach flutter.
I called Sophia to wish her a Happy Birthday and she was thrilled because she spent the night in James' house. She's at home now and really took everything in me not to ask her about Albert.
Sophia invited me to go have dinner in a restaurant tonight to celebrate her birthday properly, but I obviously said no. Albert will be there so I'm not going. Not after our fight yesterday when I humilliated myself in front of him.
I'm on the cab on my way home to Primrose. It's raining today, the perfect weather for Romeo & Juliet and hot tea.
Images of how beautiful Albert's hair look when it's wet are interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing.
"Hello?" The number was unknown.
"Hi dear! It's Ellen!" I hear a familiar voice through the phone.
(Hello everyone! I want to say thank you for over than six-hundred reads! Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to keep voting! I hope you're having all a nice weekend! I'm going to stop now before this gets any longer! :) )