Chapter Twenty Six
“That’s the sixth girl who’s asked me to Hogsmeade for this bloody weekend,” James panted as he rejoined the Marauders; he’d been cornered by Emma Browning as they were walking from Potions to Transfiguration and, after he had rejected her as kindly as he could, he had been forced to sprint through six corridors in order to catch up with his friends; with smirks at him they had walked away and left him alone with her, knowing that McGonagall would never forgive them for being late. James knew this too which was why he was currently struggling to keep walking while yanking his jumper over his head. “Man I’m glad I’m so fit from Quidditch training but I swear I’m dripping with sweat.”
“I bet Emma Browning doesn’t mind,” Remus said as James glared at him, his glasses hanging from one ear now that he had finally wriggled out of his jumper.
“She’s being dim anyway because I’m sure someone told me that Jack likes her and he’s perfectly nice.” James hooked his glasses off his ear and put them back on again, adjusting them so that they were as close to straight as they were ever going to get.
“Which Jack? Webber?” Sirius asked and James nodded.
“Is that the one who hit that Bludger straight at you and broke your nose?” Peter asked.
“Yep. Good thing Madam Pomfrey fixed it so quickly.”
Sirius’ barks of laughter resounded through the corridor and he screwed his eyes up, wobbling as he walked. “God she was so flustered when you came in with blood pouring all down you! It was her first day and she had to deal with you and McGonagall cast that charm on you because she thought you’d scare her away! What a wonderful day!”
“Well not really Padfoot ‘cause after that Hufflepuff flattened us and we were pretty much out of the running for the Cup.”
“Well don’t worry James, no one would ever know. She returned it to exactly how it was before,” Peter giggled. They stopped outside McGonagall’s classroom and Sirius peered at James’ perfectly straight nose.
“I don’t know if that’s right Wormtail…” he muttered, “I mean I can definitely see at least two rather large bumps and a scar.”
“Can you two please stop staring at my nose?”
“Making you feel uncomfortable Prongs? Worried it’s not perfect?” Sirius teased.
“Padfoot you’re staring at my nose and you’re about four centimetres away, of course I feel uncomfortable.”
“You never did before,” he said with a pout.
“That was before though!” James said.
“Before what?” Peter asked.
“Don’t ask them Peter, they’ll only make up some ridiculous story,” Remus said quickly, “it wasn’t before anything; they’re just messing around.”
“Oh I see,” he muttered as they began to drift into the classroom and take their places.
‘I hate this Valentine’s rubbish,’ James scribbled on the side of his notes.
‘Me too Prongs, me too,’Sirius wrote. ‘It’s so unnecessary. Why should we have to have a set day for being romantic anyway? Surely that makes it less romantic?’
‘I think you just found the inherent flaw in this hell of a holiday Padfoot.’
‘Well I bloody well wish the girls would find it too! Why do they love it so much? Do they love it? Or do we just wander around going along with it because we think they love it and they just go along with it because we instigate it?’
‘I don’t know Padfoot; I don’t suppose anyone’s ever thought of that before. You could always ask someone though. More importantly, how are we going to get out of asking someone to be our date for the damn trip to Hogsmeade?’
‘Guess we could ask someone ourselves… Bet Jones and her friends would agree to pair up with us if we begged them…’
‘I’d rather not go with them.’
‘Why not? You’ve been very quiet on the Lily front these past few weeks (thank Merlin). I guess we can reward you with some time with her… as long as you promise to keep the mooning around to a minimum.’
‘Exactly Padfoot! We’ve been quiet. I’ve decided not to talk to her. I need to try and… guess you could say that I need to try and get over her. Nothing’s ever going to happen, it’s fine. I’ve got that now. But I’d rather not have to spend Valentine’s Day with her. I bet someone’s already asked her anyway.’ As he read this Sirius gazed at James in astonishment, his mouth hung open in comical amazement and he mouthed silent words, doing a wonderful impression of a goldfish.
“I very much hope that it is my speech on living to living Transfiguration that has you looking like Mr Black and not something that James Potter has told you and yet failed to share with the class,” McGonagall commented acidly.
“Don’t worry Professor, it was your speech. I can’t believe you think so badly of us that you believe we’d talk while you’re giving such an interesting lesson.”
“Why don’t I believe you Black?”
“Because you jump to conclusions?” he tried hopefully.
“Do you want a detention?”
“Well if you’re offering me a choice I’m obviously going to go for no. Nobody in their right mind wants detention, especially when there are far more useful things I could be doing with my time.”
“Oh? Like what?”
“Like planning something detention-worthy,” he grinned. “Or doing my Transfiguration homework and investigating how Gamp’s Third Theory of Transfiguration limits the number of times one creature can be transfigured into another. Is there a limit?”
McGonagall’s smile was hidden by the frown which she forced her face to assume and she turned back to the board at the front of the room. “Well Mr Black, one would think that, if magic acts in accordance with Gamp’s Third Theory, there would be a limit but as many Animagi over the years have proved, this is not the case. Now it could be because…” Sirius zoned out as McGonagall carried on and started writing, pretending he was writing notes.
‘Oh. I didn’t know that. Why don’t you ever tell me these things? In fairness, and this is how you know something’s up because honestly, if I can get it then there must be something wrong in the world, it was probably about time. Also the poor girl will get some rest now,’ he accompanied this with a quiet snigger before continuing, ‘not that Evans really needed any help getting you off her backI suppose… She was feisty enough to be one of us. Used to drive me mental that Snivellus had got there first, the slimy git.’
‘Yeah well Evans is off the table now. We’re going to act like mature adults from now on.’
‘Aaah I see,’ Remus added as McGonagall took a break from her talk to let them read a couple of pages from the textbook, ‘we’re going to be extremely mature and ignore her because she wounded our pride.’
‘Don’t be stupid Remus, we’re ignoring her because she’s rejected us so many times in the past and she clearly doesn’t want to talk to us,’ Sirius added, his very handwriting dripping with sarcasm.
‘Oh come on guys; you spent about five years begging me to shut up about her and now you’ve finally got what you wanted. We’re not ignoring her, Iam just keeping my distance because I’ve annoyed her for long enough and she deserves to spend at least a couple of years without me panting after her. Plus you always wanted me to get over her… Well it’s already started. (Can you please just stop talking about it though because you’re making life rather difficult and that’s half the bloody battle).’
‘Ah, we’ve grown up and realised the error of our ways, I see. Okay well rest assured Prongs, you’ll hear no talk of that girl leave my mouth.’
‘Thanks Moony. Why can’t you two be more like Moony?’
‘Well I don’t know what you’re expecting me to do, I’ve barely contributed. I’ve just sat here and read over Padfoot’s shoulder,’ Peter scrawled as he pulled the parchment away from James and past Sirius towards himself.
‘Sorry Prongs, just had to process this unbelievable news. Sure, no flower talk from now on. I am mum. My lips will be sealed. My mouth will be shut.’
‘Well good. Um Moony can I borrow your notes?’
‘Perhaps you should have thought about that before you spent half the lesson talking to Sirius.’
‘Please Moony? I’ll lend you my Charms essay.’
‘Charms isn’t even your best subject. But fine. Just because I’m a wonderful friend and I know you’ll take them anyway while I’m out doing Prefect duty tonight.’
‘Moony you are my saviour and I love you. I’m going to buy you so much chocolate you’ll get so fat no girl here will want to go to Hogsmeade with you. In fact I’ll buy you so much you could transfigure it into a girl and take it to Hogsmeade.’
‘Yeah yeah Prongs just go back to making notes now or you’re screwed.’
“But seriously what is up with this bloody holiday?” James cried as he placed his hands on Peter and Sirius’ shoulders and used them to support him as he hopped over the bench and landed on it with a crash before grabbing a plate.
“Had another unwanted proposal then?” Remus asked without looking up.
“Two,” he grumbled.
“What did you say?” Peter asked as he fished around for another roast potato.
“Same thing I’ve said to everyone: that I’ve already got plans. Beginning to think I might actually need some plans though.”
“Shouldn’t really have to be a reason for not wanting to take part in some poxy holiday though should there?” Sirius mumbled.
“Merlin I forgot how anti-Valentine’s Day you are Sirius,” Remus muttered. “It’s almost like you’re the Scrooge of February.”
“Who’s that?” Sirius asked.
“Never mind Padfoot, you won’t get it. It’s a Muggle reference.”
“Oh is it the bloke who travels everywhere in a blue box?” Remus’ eyes narrowed in confusion and he shook his head slowly. “No… Who’s that?”
He shrugged and said, “Beats me. I just saw something that some Muggle boy was watching on the… telephone a few years ago when I was wandering around Grimmauld Place. Some guy who travels around the world in a box that’s bigger on the inside. Obviously an Undetectable Extension Charm if you ask anyone who knows but Muggles don’t so… this kid was amazed by it. I stopped and watch through the windows for a few minutes; looked rubbish though.”
“Do you mean the television?” Remus asked and Sirius clicked his fingers together. “Yeah that’s it! Knew it was something like that! You’re so good with all of your Muggle words Moony. Right little genius you are.”
“Yeah well I actually paid attention when I read The Inexhaustible and Incomparable Guide to Muggle Life.”
“Yeah yeah. Prongs can you pass the salt?”
“If you can come up with a plan to avoid more girls asking me to Hogsmeade,” he replied.
“Just tell them you’re going with me.”
“Yeah tried that already. It didn’t work.”
“No like… with me.”
“Much as I love you I don’t want to take you out for Valentine’s Day… No matter how many girls it would get off my back.”
“Okay fine, don’t take me out for a nice date to Madam Puddifoot’s but could you pass the salt?”
“I need another plan,” James moaned.
“Yeah well I gave you one so pass the salt. Pass the damn salt!” James finally handed it over to Sirius and he glared at him before taking it and pouring it liberally over his plate. “Thanks Prongs.”
“No problem. But really, Madam Puddifoot’s? Surely you could have suggested a place with a bit more class?”
“Well I don’t know about you but I quite like being surrounded by so much pink I want to throw up,” Remus added.
“Don’t forget the doilies,” Peter said.
“The only reason I would ever set foot in Madam Puddifoot’s is to burn it to the ground,” Sirius pronounced vehemently.
“Padfoot speaks the truth.”
“I always do.”
“Okay that’s fundamentally a lie so clearly you’re wrong…”