Author’s Note: If you’re really reading this note, hurry up and get to the chapter, if I were you! ;)
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Hazy. Chapter Five.
When I went inside the house, it’s like everything that happened today crashed over me. It kinda feels like I’m being run over a huge truck and I’m just there, a split second to spare and I can’t do anything.
I can’t move.
My feet remained idle and my shoulders suddenly felt heavy, like I’m carrying stones in my backpack. I was standing too still, and I realized I was quietly sobbing the tears that didn’t push through earlier today at the parking lot.
I thought that today – everything’s going to be… fine. I thought Austin and I will resolve everything that happened or didn’t happen over the weekend and we’ll be okay once again. But no, it resulted to this. It ended up to, probably, our biggest fight yet.
I mean, what’s wrong with him? After days of him going MIA – instead of asking me how I’m feeling, he confronted me and Marcel? But of course, what do I need to expect? He’s a bully. He will always bully Marcel.
It’s not like I can cheat on Austin with Marcel when I’m in a relationship with him. Marcel’s innocent and Austin needs to lay his hands off him.
“Marcel.”
I don’t know. Having Marcel in this stupid fight makes my heart ache. It’s unfair to him that he’s a part of this. It makes me mad because he doesn’t deserve all of this when he’s done nothing to me but to be sweet.
“Jamie? Is that you? Wh-what the hell! What happened? Why are you crying?” My dad rushed over where I’m standing, his hands suddenly cupping my face soaked with tears.
I slowly shook my head in response.
Why is dad here early? He’s not supposed to be at home yet.
“Did Austin do this to you?”
And when dad said his name, the tears burst from my eyes even more.
I never cried about Austin. Never.
I don’t know what made it so different this time that I’m actually shaken up – crying in front of my dad who rarely saw me in tears.
“I’m going to kill that fucker.” My dad muttered as he figured I won’t be talking, and his unnecessary curse made me laughed a little. He hugged me for comfort and I cried some more, seizing the sparse moment between the two of us.
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I realized Austin was always inconsistent. He would sometimes, out of the blue, ask me out on a date in a fancy restaurant and we’d end up watching a movie instead. Austin said he hates Pepsi, but I always catch him sipping a can from Jake every day at lunch. He would ask me what’s wrong and I would shook my head and tell him it’s nothing and I would sit down, shut up and listen to his friends – our friends chatting with him. I never really bothered to pursue or dig myself in with the group. I was okay with being okay.
I was okay with just looking and I was obsessed in being okay.
It was already Monday, a few days after the confrontation and on my third period which was Biology, Austin’s inconsistency showed up on my cellphone screen.
17 missed calls.
I rolled my eyes and rejected the upcoming call. Where were these calls a few days ago?
I have avoided him along with our – oh, his friends, since I don’t even know if I have a real one in the group.
I don’t want to talk to him. Probably because there’s really nothing to talk about and it was foolish of me to think that we need to resolve something because clearly, there was nothing to fix in the first place.
There were no us. There was just Austin and Jamie.
He wasn’t too subtle about wanting to talk to me, threatening my classmates that if they had seen me, they should immediately report him my whereabouts.
Inconsistent. Again.
He should, at least, know some of my classes in my schedule if he was paying attention to me. To me, not Austin and Jamie.
My head was throbbing and my patience was growing thin. Rumors of our fight and Marcel and us breaking up and third parties were spreading like viruses and I can hear it everywhere around me. I can hear it everywhere I go.
Was this because I was dating Austin? If this was one of the perks of dating him – the popularity, the relevance, the glares from other girls and these horrible rumors, then I want to quit. I don’t want to be popular. I don’t want to be relevant to them.
I want to end the rumors.
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“Hey!” I heard a high-pitched voice on my right side, and I knew it was Marcel.
I smiled, my first real one today.
“Hey.” I acknowledged him.
“How are you?” Marcel intently gazed at me and I can see into his frames that he was worried.
“I’m good. Do I look that awful?” I looked back at him, still smiling and he shyly glanced away.
When I saw my reflection at the girls’ bathroom mirror awhile back, I know I looked like shit.
My dark circles were prominently visible, my left eye was puffy and my cheeks were too pale. They were really pale that my coral blush, stood out red.
“No—uh, you look beautiful.” He blushed slightly, but his words danced into his tongue like it was the most obvious and simplest thing he ever said.
My heart fluttered even though I thought he was lying. It was easier to lie than to tell the bitter truth, after all.
“Biology’s your last subject?” Marcel asked, walking a little too slow for my pace that he was eventually, catching up with me.
“Nope, still got PE but, I think I’ll pass.” I blurted, my voice almost inaudible.
His mouth pursed into a small frown, like skipping classes sounded like a crime to him. I was again, embarrassed at myself.
“It’s just today, I swear. Prom’s coming up so it shouldn’t be a problem to them. You know, a junior is just so excited to experience her first prom kind of thing. It happens all the time.” I explained to Marcel and he just nodded.
The sudden talk about Prom made me not so excited of it at all. Well, after what I’m going to do.
“I have to go.” I announced and left him after seeing him wave.
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Since I couldn’t find Austin anywhere in school, I headed home early and contemplated on the whole thing – the whole scenario.
Me. Austin. Us.
I really liked Austin. I really do. He was a shooting star that no one dared to miss, and we were just asteroids. We were just rocks. I wasn’t a meteor like him. His flames engulfed me and I was burning, then I was attracted to the fire crashing down on me.
But with these happenings around me, I was just an asteroid wanting to be a comet. I was just an asteroid burning. I will eventually be burned out and he will still be a shooting star no one dared to miss.
I realized I like Austin because he was Austin Potter, not because he was Austin. Although I knew from there that I will eventually love him for being just Austin – he never really cared to show that side of him to me; to anyone. He was fire and rocks into one. And I couldn’t afford to be acquainted with both at the same time.
My phone rang again, and I knew this was the moment. I picked up on the fifth ring.
“Ja-Jamie! What the hell’s wrong with you?” Austin sounded unsure and shocked that I answered his call, but he yelled at me nonetheless.
I gulped, staring at the muted television on the living room, watching a chef chopping onion leaves too rapidly.
“Austin, I’m done. I’m done with you.” I let out, hoping my voice wouldn’t crack. He was, after all – my first in almost everything.
“You’re kidding.” It sounded like he snorted on the other line. I should be insulted by this, but I held my ground.
“You love me, this is just… You’re just mad at me, isn’t it? Come on, babe. You’re just mad at me right now, Jamie. Right?” He piped continuously; I could hear things shattering on his end.
I didn’t respond.
Within his realization, he fumed harder.
“No! You’re not breaking up with me! You fucking can’t! Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare break up with me!”
My patience was running out second after second, and I knew this was really the right thing for me to do.
“Actually, I am really breaking up with you.”
I ended the call and turned my cellphone off.
I was stuck staring at the cooking programs on the TV. It was muted, but I didn’t mind the silence.
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If I looked like shit yesterday, well, I looked shittier today.
Though, I dumbly showered for an hour and a half a while ago – practically using almost one-third of the shampoo bottle for my hair, I didn’t exert any effort on what I wore today. Not that I possibly care anymore. The whole house smelled like strawberries because of my squeaky clean hair and for that, I was happy. The type of happy when you feel that you did something right or silly or new and you can’t point out your exact emotion. So, you just settled for happy.
The break up erupted like wildfire all over the school. I was, after all, Austin’s longest girlfriend. Every student – even teachers, were talking about it like it was broadcasted on CNN or something.
This was a choice I made. And this is the outcome. It’s better than before anyways, but I guess the glaring of other girls will never stop. But there’s nothing you could do about that, right? Like I said, Austin is – Austin Potter.
“Did you break up with Mr. Potter?” My teacher in PE, Ms. Hudson asked. She excused me from her class and we were alone in the girls’ locker room as my classmates waddled on the field for some extensive runs. Perks of being heartbroken and a heartbreaker rolled into one, I guess. Perks of being Austin’s – uh, ex-girlfriend.
I was exhausted with the bombarded questions from today and this one-on-one conversation with my PE teacher wasn’t really necessary.
So I just nodded, sighing.
“Did it hurt?” Her tone was very robotic. It didn’t feel sincere at all, it felt… curious.
I nodded again. I was refraining from talking about it and my responses were just nods and yes or nos.
Of course, it hurt. Everyone who loves or likes, in my case, will eventually get hurt all in the end. That’s my number one rule.
She continued to pry, and I was really getting tired.
“Ms. Hudson, can I, go home please?” I mumbled.
She sighed, in a robotic way, yes. And she unwillingly let me go.
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As I was scanning the books I need to bring home for today in my locker down the hallway, I heard loud murmurs in a distance. Out of curiosity that I probably got from Ms. Hudson earlier, I walked over where the sounds were heading.
It was Hannah, Sara, Bridget, Jessica and Nicole. Their lockers were perfectly placed next to each other, and they were probably gossiping or drooling over boys. Either way, they’re a part of Austin’s huge clique.
“Yeah, that nerd with the glasses seems to be hawt.” Sara licked her lips as she played with her blonde curls that stopped midway her back. The other four launched their flirtatious giggles.
“What’s his name?” Jessica questioned the girls while applying a matte red lipstick.
“M. I think it starts with M.” One of the girls said.
“It’s Marcel.” Hannah shot them a look of annoyance.
My eyes widened and I shuffled closer to hear the conversation better. I was hiding over another barricade of lockers next to theirs.
“Yeah, Marcel. If he wasn’t such a nerd, I’d take him to prom and fuck him afterwards..” Nicole, with the long straight hair sighed dreamily.
I winced at the thought, and I was suddenly feeling mad. Shut it.
“Well, I guess that’s the point!” Bridget exclaimed. She was the girl who always has nail files for her polished moss green nails. She was wearing the same color of nail polish since last year.
“What’s the point?” Jessica and Nicole pondered in unison.
Bridget glanced over Hannah, as if to ask permission to tell, and Hannah nodded with a smirk.
“A bet.” Bridget cheered, looking at Hannah for the second time.
“A bet?” The girls chorused, like flocking birds prying for food.
“Let’s make a bet on who’s the lucky girl who will get the taste of Marcel on Prom, next week.” Hannah maliciously cued.
“But what about Bryan?” Sara, who’s dating Bryan – one of Austin’s minions, asked, sighing.
“Well, don’t worry about Bryan. The bet’s no fun if you only get to taste.” Hannah continued the plan while Nicole and Bridget roared in delight.
“The plan is –“ Bridget marveled, keeping everyone close and listening.
“Whoever gets Marcel, whoever takes Marcel to Prom – will dump him after. Then and there, no extensions.” Bridget concluded.
What they were plotting was disgusting. Marcel doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. They have no right – hell, they don’t even have the right feelings to play with him like that.
They continued to cheer and giggle with each other.
“So, girls!” Hannah clapped and everyone’s attention turned towards her. Her straightened hair swayed with her smile, and the four girls were in awe.
“Who’s going to do it?” Hannah boomed, and the girls steal glances at each other.
I was so mad that I wanted to cry for no reason but I stayed still, my lips shaking at their secret plan on Marcel.
Bet. Bet. Bet. Bet. Bet. Bet. Bet.
The word keeps flashing like blinding lights all over my head. I feel corrupted.
The bet was keeping my mind hazy.
“I-I’ll do it.”
They all turned their backs to see my figure as soon as they heard me.
I closed both of my palms and breathed out a long sigh to steady myself.
The guy with the glasses getting hurt and played at? No. I couldn’t afford that to happen.
He was the one I always save; he was the person I always want to save.
So should I do this stupid game of theirs?
Yes. My heart bled out.
I couldn’t let Marcel get hurt.
He’s too sweet to get hurt.
His face flashed hazily in my mind. It was so vivid – the way Marcel looked at me like I could save him from everything and everyone.
I was always saving him and little did he know – he was always saving me too.
“I’ll do it. I’ll do the bet.”
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Author’s Note: Sorry to keep you guys waiting but I hope you liked this chapter! :) Do you have a certain favorite part/quote?
Should Jamie do the bet? If you were her, would you take the bet for Marcel?
So if you actually cheated and watched the video already, then, shame on you. (totally kidding) But if you read the chapter first, then watch the video that’s in the MULTIMEDIA section right now!
Yes, a trailer of Hazy! I’m fangirling to death. The amazing trailer was made by @angelsaystweet on twitter, so please follow her! :)
What do you think of the trailer?
Just a note, Barbara Palvin isn’t the official character as Jamie Bennett yet. I’m opting for a girl with a darker hair color like Nina Dobrev. But Barbara is perf. Have any ideas or suggestions?
So, I know this was becoming a drill but: please vote/comment and tell me what you think of chapter five!
Also, send twitter some Hazy love if you’re reading it. Any tweet about Hazy! I will hunt you down, and follow/RT you, guys. I’ve been doing that recently and it’s so fun. So see you there? x
Twitter: @JamieCoson | @HazyFanfiction
Thank you guys for always patiently waiting! Sorry the A/N is tooooo long. :(