We left La Sirène and got back into the convertible. The king drove us silently through the hilly countryside. The sky was beautiful and clear tonight, a dark blanket dotted with glittering stars. I closed my eyes and inhaled the sharp breeze that cut through the air.
The peaceful moment was shattered when I opened my eyes and saw the train of black vehicles of the king's security detail tailing behind is in the side mirror. I was starting to understand by what he meant when he said he couldn't go on a "normal" date.
Our stop was a small lake park. Willow trees grew from the bank, their branches grazing the water's surface. A cobbled path wound through the area, punctuated by the occasional bench and iron street lamp. The water's surface reflected the night sky like a dark mirror.
"It's beautiful here," I said as we exited the car.
"I figured you'd like it," the king replied as he shut the door behind me. "Let's take a walk."
I nodded and stepped into pace behind him. As we made our way onto the cobbled path, I glanced back to the car. The guard's vehicles were nowhere to be seen, but I knew they had to be somewhere.
Knowing we were being watched made it hard to relax. It was unsettling, being aware of the fact that there were guards with eyes trained on my every move. Even more unsettling was how necessary this level of security was. The king was shot in the middle of nowhere on a yacht. Compared to that, this secluded park was child's play for anyone with a mind to take the king's life.
"Are you any closer to finding whoever shot you?" I asked.
"A bit of a grim topic for a romantic evening, don't you think?" the king replied, chuckling.
"Yeah, but don't I have a right to know? I did save your life."
He glanced at me inscrutably, causing me to shrink back. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry."
I couldn't help the satisfied smile that appeared on my face at his admission.
"To answer your question, no, we haven't. My men combed the beach shortly after everything happened, but they couldn't find a trace. Whoever did it covered their tracks well," he said, voice weary. "But don't fret over that. It's being handled."
Though he tried to sound reassuring, his tone did not convey it as well as he hoped. Clearly something was wrong. But would he tell me about it? And why did I want to know? I should just take his hint and put it out of my thoughts, but how could I when I was there that night? When I had saved his life by giving him my blood? I couldn't distance myself from this.
A forlorn expression appeared on the king's face. His eyes met mine and my heart started racing.
"I'm so glad you were there that night," he said quietly. Desperation and longing rippled beneath the surface of his blue-green eyes.
Unsure of what to say in response, I turned my gaze toward the lake and watched the moon's reflection glide over the water's surface. I hated when he looked at me like that. It stirred feelings inside me that should stay buried.
"I'm curious," I heard him muse. Still looking away, I braced myself for yet another probing question.
"What was going through your mind during that moment?"
Relaxing, I turned back to him. That look of longing was gone, replaced by curiosity. Why was he asking me this? I tried to recount what I was thinking, unsure of how to answer. The memories were a blur. Everything happened so fast, I barely had time to process what was happening.
"I did wonder if it was a test. I mean, you kept the teams separate. It would explain why," I admitted.
"Please, I'm not a sadist," the king scoffed. I bit my lip. Earlier in the competition, I would have disagreed.
I shrugged, continuing. "I guess I could tell something was actually wrong. Then, after confirming it, I realized I needed to do something. And you being a vampire, the solution was kind of obvious."
The king smiled. "The way you downplay your heroism is astounding."
I flushed. "That wasn't really heroism. I just couldn't stand by and just watch you die."
He stopped, looking at me sternly. Our eyes held for one brief, intense moment.
"But why?" he asked.
My eyes widened and I stumbled back slightly, as if his question had physically pushed me.
"What do you mean 'Why?'" I asked.
He nodded, looking as if the concept made perfect sense to him. I, however, couldn't wrap my head around it.
The king smiled dimly. "If you stood by and did nothing, nobody would blame you."
I shook my head. How could he even suggest something like that? "You were dying!"
The king shrugged, smiling to himself. "The thing is, Miss Crawford, you've made your distaste for me and the competition plain and clear. So I fail to see how saving my life would be advantageous to you."
I stared at him, horrified. His reasoning was starting to make sense. If I had simply stood by and let him die, the competition would be over. But the thought hadn't even crossed my mind that night. And even now, after the king had laid it out plain and clear, I still didn't regret my actions.
"I saved you because it was the right thing to do," I whispered. "For the same reason why you saved me from jumping off of that cliff."
The king frowned, regarding me with an expression of skepticism. "That's different. You were a stranger who never caused me harm. Whereas, I..." he turned his eyes toward the ground, defeated. "I put you on that cliff."
A lump formed in my throat at the sight of his dejected face. It was then that I realized I had stopped blaming him for that incident long ago. He should stop blaming himself.
"You have a really weird way of looking at things," I said, forcing an airy laugh to try to lighten the mood.
It seemed to work, only slightly. The king ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"Not quite so strange when it comes to politics and war," he replied.
"So you just assume everyone has ulterior motives?" I asked.
He smirked. "They usually do."
We fell silent as we resumed our walk. At the mention of politics and war my mind drifted back to the last time we spoke of this subject — the night on the balcony. It had only been a few weeks since then, but it seemed more like a lifetime had passed.
The king spoke of the Duke of Virginia's fragile loyalty and how that had been the reason why Sabine had to remain in the competition. How I hated Sabine then. Granted, I hadn't exactly warmed up to her in the time since. I hadn't understood what the king meant by her having "proved" herself previously, but she had been the only other girl who tried to help the king. Pity I stole her thunder.
I must have been silent for a while because the king slowed, turning to me. "What are you thinking about?"
"Sabine," I confessed. He looked confused so I went on to explain about her attempted heroism on the yacht. "I'm just wondering why she was the only other one who tried to help you. In fact, she was the first one who did anything, period."
He gave me a knowing nod. "I suppose you wouldn't expect to see altruism from Sabine given her prior behavior towards you. But she has endured a similar... incident. One that ended far more tragically. You remember Daniel Morgan, Virginia's previous duke?"
I nodded. Few could forget. Around five years ago, it was all over every news outlet — Daniel Morgan, Duke of Virginia, assassinated in at his own party. Widespread chaos erupted all over the nation. I hadn't occurred to me that Sabine had been there.
"It was an ordeal for everyone," the king said wearily.
I could imagine. Being only thirteen at the time, I was most concerned with catching up on my favorite shows or agonizing over whether Braeden from math class liked me back. But I remember my parents' nervous dinnertime discussions as they tried to foresee what the Virginian Duke's sudden demise meant for our nation.
"I was there that night," the king continued. "It was Daniel's two hundredth birthday. We vampires usually stop celebrating once we get to a certain age, but two hundred is still a pretty momentous occasion.
"It was a relatively small get-together. Just the other dukes, a few of the local elites like the Ambroses, and of course, myself. Later during the night, Daniel approached me, saying he needed to speak with me in private, the two of us went up to the terrace of his manor. But the bullet hit him before he could tell me anything."
"That's awful," I whispered. It was one thing to hear the story on the news and another thing entirely to get a firsthand account. More disturbing was how starkly similar the king's story was to what happened on the yacht.
The king looked forlornly over the lake, eyes distant and somber. "I wasn't worried. Vampires normally shrug off bullets and all of us had been on the receiving end of them too many times to count. But with Daniel, it was different. He was..." he met my eyes, frowning. "I'll spare you the gory details. But what happened next is that I ran. I stumbled around his mansion, looking for the nearest source of blood. But when I got back, I found that I was too late."
I noted the way he didn't elaborate on the "source of blood." Like sparing me the "gory details" of the duke's death, I couldn't help but think he didn't trust me — a human — to handle it. Yet he expected me to handle become a vampire, to accept this brutality as my life's norm.
But this wasn't the time to be petty. The king had shared a memory of deep, personal grief. It was unseemly of me to nitpick at his choice of words.
"So what happened next?" I asked instead.
The king sighed deeply. "Nothing good. Just know that I am eternally grateful to you for sparing me from sharing Daniel's fate."
A totally satisfying and not at all evasive answer, I thought, narrowing my eyes at him.
The king noticed my expression and let out a long breath. "I don't want you to worry."
My eyes widened in response. "Really? Well now I am."
He chuckled. "Please, Avery. You've asked me revisit too many unpleasant memories tonight."
I crossed my arms. "You're right and I'm sorry. But..."
I locked eyes with him. He regarded me suspiciously, eyebrows raised. I frowned, wondering how I was going to phrase my next question.
"But if there's a chance I am to be a part of this world, don't I deserve to know what I'm getting into?"
The king's eyes widened for a fraction, then he let out a tired laugh. "I don't want to frighten you away."
I rolled my eyes. The king raised his hands up in defeat.
"All right, all right. I suppose after what you risked for me you of all people deserve to know," he said. Then he looked deathly serious. "But you have to promise me that you won't repeat anything I've told you tonight."
My eyes widened. "Okay," I said, trying to sound firm and failing.
The king nodded his head to a nearby bench. "Let's sit, shall we?"
I followed him and sat down on the edge of the bench, angling my body toward his. The king sat leaning forward, eyes cast toward the ground.
"Go on, tell me," I said.
He turned his eyes toward me, questioning. "What do you think would have happened to the assassin had he or she been found?"
An easy answer. "Execution."
He nodded. "As both a punishment and a warning to anyone who would dare try the same."
I searched my memories of any such "examples" pertaining to Daniel Morgan, but came up short. The news only reported how the tragedy affected the Northeastern Territories as a country. Details about the investigation were few, but the assassin being apprehended would have been a huge story. However, after Duke Aldridge was named successor, the story kind of fizzled out.
"You never caught whoever killed him, did you?" I said.
The king nodded gravely. "We tried desperately for years. The South was our prime suspect. King Sheridan had his eyes on Virginia for years, but Daniel was loyal to me. James on the other hand, was merely the most suitable replacement I could find at the time. However, I could never prove that theory. Especially as King Sheridan continued to remain civil toward me, regardless of his obvious desire for my territory."
I blanched at the thought of how close we could have come to war if the king had acted on his suspicions.
"You mentioned 'gory details' in the duke's death. What did you mean?" I asked.
The king leaned back against the bench and folded his hands in his lap. "Bullets can't hurt vampires the way they hurt humans. We can't exactly shrug them off, but we won't die from it either. But the bullet used on Daniel was specifically designed to kill vampires. It was made of silver and exploded into dozens of shards upon contact with flesh. Silver prevents us from healing properly, though the effects can be staunched if one drinks blood quickly enough. Daniel hadn't."
"I'm sorry," I said. The king hadn't said much about the late duke, but I could tell from the despondence in his eyes that the two must have been close. I couldn't imagine what that must be like, to witness someone I cared about dying, and being wracked by guilt knowing that if I had only acted faster, I could have saved them.
The corner of the king's lips curled into a faint smile, but his eyes remained hollow. "The most frustrating part was the fact that all this time, I never truly knew who the bullet was meant for. I'm a much more valuable target. The killer may have been aiming for me. That thought, and whatever Daniel meant to tell me that fateful night, had plagued me endlessly over the years. Though perhaps not anymore."
"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting up straighter. But I had already guessed.
His eyes bore into mine intensely. "A similar bullet was used on me the night on the yacht. Your blood, your quick response, saved me in more ways than you can imagine."
I blinked, unsure of how to react. The king had mentioned this frequently, but until now I never understood just how.
"After five years, we finally have another lead," he said quietly. "Do you know how valuable that is? How important you are?"
I shrank back, stunned. The king's gaze was still fixed on me, his face earnest, full of gratitude and... reverence.
"I am in your debt, Avery," he whispered, so low it was almost a breath.
I looked away, my heart hammering in my chest. The king's words echoed through my thoughts. I am in your debt. What could this mean?
"Whatever you wish for, I will grant it," the king continued.
I sank back in my seat, hugging myself. I had the king's favor. He could give me anything his power allowed. I could ask for a royal title, a mansion in the hills, a vintage car just like the one he drove. But all of those options left me hollow.
I could ask for him to give my father a job on his staff. Everyone could use an accountant, right? He'd probably start making enough money that Mom wouldn't have to work. But as soon as the thought crossed my mind I knew it couldn't be what I asked. There was only one thing I wanted. One thing I needed.
I fought back the guilt whirling inside me. My parents had called me selfish. Rowan had called me selfish. But I never wanted this. Now was my chance to end things.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to steady my racing heart. When I opened them I saw the king regarding me oddly, eyebrows knit on confusion.
"I already know what I want" I said, voice shaking.
"Anything," he replied calmly, though his expression remained suspicious.
I steeled myself for the words I was about to say. "I want you to eliminate me next."
The king blinked, what little remaining color he had draining from his face. Then he sprung to his feet abruptly, shaking his head.
"Why?" he pleaded. "I thought after everything that you would... Avery, please."
"It's what I want," I choked out. There was no going back. I had to be firm in my convictions.
"You can't deny the connection forming between us. You've felt it, you had to!" the king demanded.
"There is," I admitted. It was impossibly to deny, but that meant nothing. I couldn't love a man whose world was full of danger and pain. I had to spare myself that fate. The pained look the king gave me made my chest ache. "That's why I want out."
He frowned. "I don't understand."
I stood up and met his eyes, taking in the sight of him. This might be the last time I'd ever see him. He looked at me pleadingly.
"I don't understand," he whispered.
"I do have feelings for you, Nathaniel," I said, not caring that I wasn't using his royal title. "But that doesn't mean we're right for each other . And that's why I can't keep playing this game."
"But we've only just begun to connect!" he said. "I enjoy your company, but I can't disband the competition just for you. That wouldn't be fair."
"Nothing about the competition was fair, but that's beside the point. It's not what I'm asking," I replied, my tone more firm than before.
He regarded me silently, eyes roving over my face in search of some hidden truth. I remained impassive.
"I can't compete for your affection. That's not how people are supposed to meet or fall in love," I said.
He crossed his arms and looked back at me sternly. "I've already told you my reasons for all of that."
I nodded, but I wasn't done. "The thing is, I never wanted any of this. I don't want to be a vampire or a queen, but you kept me around in hopes that I'd change my mind, and it's worked. I changed my mind about you."
The king looked stunned, but his eyes begged me to continue so I did. I sighed, smoothing a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
"I came in here thinking you were some egomaniac tyrant but as I've gotten to know you I've seen that that impression was wrong. But what hasn't changed is how I feel about your world. Behind the wealth and the glamour there is death. There is blood. There's fear. I don't want that to be my future. But you can't give me anything else, so we have to end this now."
I watched as the king remained rooted in place, lost in a trance. Then his eyes met mine, fervent, desperate. Before I could breathe or say anything else, he was striding over towards me and a heartbeat later his hand was caressing my face.
Do it, I willed, and before I could finish my thought his mouth was on mine. I sank into his arms, savoring the lingering taste of wine on his lips. They were soft, but colder than what I was used to. Though the burning ferocity of his desire was unparalleled to anything that I have ever experienced.
This is wrong. I should stop, I thought, but a primal part of me melted into his touch. I wanted, needed, to feel his kiss. Just once. To know what it was like. To know what I was turning my back on.
I ran my fingers through his soft hair, drinking in the scent of him. His tongue danced around the edges of my mouth and I drank his desire in hungrily. We stood tangled in each other's arms, and for one brief, blissful moment I allowed myself to forget he was the king of vampires. But as soon as that thought crossed my mind, the magic was shattered.I drew away from him, panting.
The king — Nathaniel — rested his forehead against mine.
"Please stay," he murmured.
I shook my head, not wanting to look up at him and let him see the longing in my eyes. His drew his hand up, brushing my cheek with his fingertips.
"I will do anything you want, but please reconsider," he whispered.
My hand slid down to rest over his chest. His heart beat faintly beneath my palm. I drew my hand away and stepped back from him.
"You do the same," I said, and walked off into the darkness, praying I hadn't made the biggest mistake of my life.
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