Not even they can stop me now
Boy, I’ll be flying overhead
Their heavy words can’t bring me down
Boy I've been raised from the dead
No one even knows how hard life was
I don't even think about it now because
I've finally found you
Oh, sing it to me
Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio
How do you like me now?
Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah
Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio
Radio – Lana Del Rey
Cecilia and I trailed in Next through the baby section. Although I say Cecilia and I, Steven was there also. But he was on his phone trailing behind us. I was helping Cecilia buy some baby clothes without buying myself some winter clothes. I heard that Bristol was even colder than London in winter.
“This is cute.” She pulled a cute pink baby grow out of the rack. It said Mummy’s Princess in glittery bright pink writing. She turned and showed Steven but he made a face. He was adamant that his son/daughter would in fact be a boy. Cecilia decided she didn’t want to know the sex, but Steven claimed that he had a third eye, and that the baby was definitely a boy. Anything we pulled out and showed him that looked “feminie” he wouldn’t like.
Cecilia kissed her teeth and put it in the basket anyway. She was sure their baby was a girl. I was just happy she had decided to have this baby in the first place.
“You excited?” Cecilia asked as we went up the escalator, leaving Steven in the men’s section. I nodded. I had butterflies every time I thought about. It was month to go, I blinked and it was 3 weeks, now I only had just under 2 weeks and I was out of London. I had butterflies, but I told myself they were the good butterflies. “I’m going to miss you loads.” She sighed.
“I know! But I’ll come back just when you’re about to pop. And I’ll be back for you and Stevens wedding.” She laughed but tutted.
“We will never get married!” She defended but I say the sly smile that spread across her mouth. “We’ll kill each other first.”
“You tried to kill each other.” I replied thinking back to all the fights they had. They had shouted at each other every time they would see each other, to when they actually physically fought. I remembered when she spat at him and he punched her. After that, I never thought that they would talk again, let alone now be civil and joking with each other. “Are you still speaking to Marcus?” I asked picking up a fur coat. Cecilia nodded at the coat and I looked for my size.
“It was one of Stevens’ conditions.” Steven and Cecilia had written up a contract for each other that they had to abide by. One of Stevens’ conditions was that Cecilia didn’t speak to Marcus. “But he called me the other day.”
“Did you pick up?” She nodded avoiding my gaze. She knew what look I would have given her. Although Steven and C weren’t back together properly, he was trying for both of them. I’m sure there was things on his contract he didn’t like, but listened to.
“I know Aaliyah. I told Steven though. I couldn’t lie.”
“And what did he do?”
“We got into an argument, then he wanted to go fxck up Marcus.”
“Did he?”
“No, I convinced him to stay at home.” She smiled at me. I rolled my eyes but smiled knowing just how she connived him to stay home.
“Why did he want to fight Marcus anyway?” I asked as we walked to the shoe section. I was never a fan of Next shoes, but I had to admit that their boot section was amazing.
“After Marcus got off the phone with me and found out that I and Steven were talking again, he somehow got Stevens number and told him that this isn’t his baby.” My mouth dropped. Cecilia nodded. “So Steven came to me, he tried to be calm, but he snapped after like a second. We argued, and I asked him, who doe she really believe more, Marcus, or me. And he said me, but I think he doubts it’s his now.”
“If he doubted it he wouldn’t be here now would he?”
“I know. But still Marcus has put that seed in his head. Marcus is only doing it because he was pissed I told him that Steven doesn’t want me talking to him anymore.” I rolled my eyes. What an idiot. This is why I hated Marcus. “So yeah, I deleted and blocked his number from my phone. I don’t want him ruining my vibe Lee.” I hugged her, very proud of the maturity she was showing. We paid for all our things with Steven, went to a couple more kids stores before getting something to eat.
Steven had been acting, let’s say awkward around me. I was acting awkward around him too. We sat on the table across from each other. We had not been left alone together, until Cecilia’s 6 month pregnant bladder kicked in and she was running to the toilet every second. I played with my fingers as we waited for my food. I looked at my phone, no one had texted me and I had no lives on candy crush. I looked over to the counter, our food wasn’t coming, I looked at the toilet door, C wasn’t coming out anytime soon.
“I heard you’re moving to Bristol?” I nodded. “When you leaving?” He continued to question.
“A week and a bit.”
“Rah, that soon?” I nodded smiling.
“You’re gonna be missed.”
“By you?” I asked almost laughing.
“Nah, like Cecilia, Mya, Kwali and them.” I shook my head. I spoke to Mya every so often and me.
“Do you still speak to Mya?” Steven shook his head.
“I’m not allowed.” I stifled my laughter. That must have been one of the conditions that Cecilia put in their contract. “It’s mad uno. Do you know many people she’s banned me from speaking.”
“And how many boys have you banned her from speaking to?”
“Only 53.” He said that, as if it was really ‘only’ 53. He really believed that was a small number.
“Have you stuck to your contract?”
“Most of it. It’s the smoking that being troublesome.” I nodded. Yeah, Steven and him always had a problem with giving up.
“Who you gonna miss the most?” Steven asked moving his phone off the table as the waitress placed our food down.
“Probably Kayne.” I sad honestly. Cecilia finally left the toilet. She sat down, only to stand back up again and return to the toilet. Steven pointed at her and laughed like an idiot.
“Who sorry?” He asked calming down and returning to earth.
“Kayne.” He put his hand on his heart and tried to look upset.
“Not even me?” He asked. I nodded. I think I would miss Steven. Not him as a person, he was a horrible person, but I would miss his humour and his outbursts. I would probably never find someone as bold and carefree as Steven.
“I’ll miss you a little bit.” He just nodded.
“I’ll miss you small small.” I tutted but smiled. Cecilia finally re-joined us. She tucked into her food, every so often taking bites out of Stevens food. He would look at her with a blank expression every time she did it. Cecilia was telling me about the scan she went to last week, when in the middle of her talking Steven leaned over to her and burped in her mouth. She spurted and tried to an air into her mouth but the damage was done. I looked at him unsure of what to do.
I wanted to laugh, I mean, it was flipping hilarious, but then it was disgusting. I looked down biting the sides of my mouth to stop my laughing. I had to see C’s reaction before I could react.
“You’re such a cunt.” Steven looked at me and started laughing. It started of small, and grew and grew. He actually couldn’t stop laughing, so now I couldn’t stop giggling.
“Eat my food again.”
She kissed her teeth and opened her mouth again, obviously to shout at him but he did it again. I actually couldn’t control myself. I put my head on the table and nearly cried. There really would never be anyone like Steven. Cecilia tried to be angry but with Steven and me laughing she just giggled and told him to “wait till they got home”
*
Sam opened my door revealing his big head. “Are you packed?” I nodded. My mum had packed everything for me. I left a few clothes out as I still had a few days left.
“What you doing?”
“Just texting some peeps.” I said placing my phone down. Sam came inside and sat on my bed.
“I’m gonna miss you, you know.”
“You’re never here though.”
“I know, but when I do come back all I wanna see if your big head. I’m going to have to come here to see Katy and mum, then go Bristol to come see you.” I nodded not sure what to say. Sam just looked at me and I wanted to cry. I was going to miss this guy so much. I never thought I would ever miss him when I was younger but Sam was such an important part of my life. He was my Prince Charming. If Sam and I weren’t related he would be the guy I would marry.
“Katy’s coming over later. Do you wanna grab something to eat with me and her?” I nodded.
Like Sam said, roughly an hour later Katy came into the house. My mum had given her a set of keys as she, like everyone, was convinced that Sam and Katy would get married. Sam said that Katy and him had talked about it, but they weren’t rushing into anything. He said that even if they did get engaged, they would probably have a long engagement. They were the cutest things ever.
We were in Nandos when they were talking about their upcoming holiday. It was their first holiday together. They were going to Jamaica for a week. Sam had been saving a little since the beginning of the year. My mum, Jim and I had a three way bet. My mum thought that Katy would come back pregnant, Jim thought they would be engaged, and I thought they would be married by the time they came back.
“What can I get you guys?” The waiter asked, but he was clearly checking out Katy. Heck, I was checking her out too. She had dyed her hair to a dark honey blonde with her hair now reaching just the crook of her back, but she tied half of it up in a high bun. She looked beautiful, and to top it all, she wasn’t even wearing makeup. A pigeon wouldn’t even look at me if I didn’t have mascara or anything, but here Katy was and she was getting ogled at.
“What you getting babe?” She turned to Sam smiling. She was so oblivious to the guy staring at her, or maybe she just didn’t care.
“I’ll get the rubs platter with um, lemme get a large fizzy Fanta as well.” The waiter nodded jotting it all down.
“Can I have a quarter pounder burger and medium fries and I’ll have a fizzy Fanta too please.” I smiled at the waiter.
“I’ll have the same as him.” Katy said handing back the menu. The waiter nodded and left.
We were having general chatter and jokes when our food arrived. Katy was only able to manage half, so Sam ate him and her half. I finished my food. We were sitting down and contemplating whether to get dessert. Katy and Sam, the gym fanatics thought that they had treated themselves enough today, and I was full anyway, but we still didn’t move from out seats. We were just chatting and laughing.
“Look at this swimsuit I got today babe.” Katy said unlocking her pone and handing it to Sam. I don’t know what swimsuit it was, but in seconds Sam had paid the bill and suddenly wanted to go home. I could only laugh and follow him to the car.
**
**
“I’m going to get a trim tomorrow. I will transform into Mr Steal Your Girl.” I had to stop and look to see if Kayne was actually being serious. He was. I laughed and couldn’t stop.
“I wanna see your girl hear you say that.” He shrugged and just looked smugly at me.
“You finally popped her cherry?”
“Why do I have to have sex with her Omari? Why can’t I make love to her heart?” I looked at him again. Once again he was being serious and once again I laughed and couldn’t stop. This was the first time in a couple of months that Kayne had gotten high. He had stopped smoking but for some reason he turned up at my door this morning with weed. I couldn’t smoke as my club had regular urine and hair test. So I chilled with him on the balcony as he smoked instead. He had now finished his blunt but he was still acting and saying stupid shxt.
My door knocked. I looked down at my wrist, which looked very icy today might I add, to see what time it was. I wasn’t expecting visitors. I stood up and went to answer it anyway. I opened the door to see Kara and Chloe. I looked at them confused, and then remembered that Chloe wanted to drop Kara a day early as she was going to Scotland for the week.
“Kara” I shouted. She loved it when I shouted. At first she would jump in shock, them she would look at me and just giggle. She spread her arms meaning that she wanted me to pick her up. She shook her head in my chest making the happiest noises. I picked up her suitcase from Chloe and just nodded at her.
“Stay safe in Scotland yeah?” She nodded and hugged Kara. I gave her a quick hug. Chloe was my nxgga, as much as we had our troubles, she gave me Kara. Plus, this month was one of the rare months were me and her actually getting along.
I dragged Kara’s suitcase to her room still holding onto her. She was telling me about her day and how she wanted to go and see the birds that swim. I think she wanted to go to the aquarium. It was too late for us to go today, and her nap was in a couple or hours.
“Daddy?”
“Princess?” I could see Kara smiling at me from the corner of my eyes as I placed her clothes in the washing machine.
“Can I sleep over Misha’s?” I shook my head. She looked at me confused. I don’t think I had ever said no to Kara. The only reason that was last time, when she had her first sleep over, I had to drive and pick her up at 2 am in the night because she thought she saw a monster and wanted me.
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“But I want to.” I shrugged.
“Go wash your hands for lunch Kara.”
“No.” She replied to me crossing her arms.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want.” She copied me. She stared at me without even flinching. This girl was too brave. Kayne walked in and laughed at me.
“See. Kara’s a lighty. That’s why she acts like this.”
“You’ll text her when she’s older and she’ll be like, the thirst of nixggas.” I grabbed the nearest thing to me and threw it at Kayne laughing. It was funny but he was jinxing me and my daughter. I bent down to her level.
“Kamara promise daddy you’ll never act like these lightys?” She nodded but I don’t thinks he understood.
“Can I sleep over Misha’s now?” I shook my head.
“You can’t go yet. You’re not ready.”
“Daddy, I’m young but I’m ready.”
“Lighty talk. This kind of talk will have her pregnant when she’s 14.” I actually burst out laughing in Kara’s face. I looked up and Kayne who was doubled over laughing. I couldn’t find anything to throw at him so I left him for now. I looked at Kara’s innocent face and tried to calm down. I was trying to be serious.
“Don’t ever say that again okay?” She nodded. “I will let you go, on one condition.”
“What’s a condition?”
“If you don’t do this, you can’t go.” She nodded understanding. “You don’t cry, and for the rest of the week you be a really good girl and listen to Daddy.” She nodded smiling.
“I can sleep Misha’s?” She asked to be sure. I nodded. She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck telling me I was the best Daddy ever.
I cooked out dinner, vegetable lasagne. Kara and I finished out food and enjoyed it, but Kayne sat there looking at me with disgust. Kayne decided to stay over as he was in no fit state to drive. He usually stayed over so it was okay. The next morning I rounded the gang up and forced them to come to the aquarium with me and Kara.
Steven couldn’t stop laughing when Kara tried to eat the clown fish…again. I had caught her a few time trying to eat the fish that Aaliyah got her for her birthday. She would claim she was going to pet them, but I kept an eye on her.
Steven laughing caused all of us to laugh. Kara had her mouth of the class licking it, with her hand trying to usher the fish over. I blamed my youngest sister, she did shxt like this. Kara must have seen her do it one day and thought it was normal. Now that Kayne wasn’t high he was back to his miserable self.
Kara was walking around the aquarium acting like a little bully to all the other kids. She would walk up to a fish she wanted to see, if there were lots of little kids she would turn around and call me loudly. The little kids would look to see who she called, and see a group of tall boys talking towards her. They would fan out and she would have the whole widow section to herself. I could only laugh.
We walked past a shark, and Kayne didn’t realise. He turned seeing it and screamed. He tried to say he was coughing but we were all in tears. Kara watched us not sure what was funny, but after a while she just laughed as well. Steven looked at her and stopped laughing. So she stopped laughing too. They had gotten into an argument on the way here on what song to play in the car. The Wheels on the Bus, or the radio. Sometimes it felt like I had two kids.
We went to see the Crocodiles. Steven tried to go and spud one of them. Kara called him stupid because they’re dangerous. I was proud of her for knowing that, and knowing what the word dangerous meant. He called her an idiot for trying to eat fish at the aquarium. Kara looked at me and started crying. I kissed my teeth at Steven picking her up. As soon as I did she stuck her tongue out at Steven and he threw his middle finger up at her. I wasn’t near him but Kayne kicked him calling him an “fxcktard” for swearing around Kara. I thanked him, although he did basically what he did. Steven just laughed and tried to punch Kayne back.
“I’m hungry Daddy.”
“Shut up.” Steven said. I was confused I could only laugh. He was so childish.
“Should I treat your child the way you treat Kara yeah?”
“My son would stab you if you screwed him.” I actually stopped walking, Steven was being really serious.
“I hope its girls. She’s gonna be a hoe as well.” Kwali nodded.
“Them girls whose name is “Shadaye ‘Mixie’ Richards on Facebook.” Kwali added.
“I hope she gets exposed on Facebook as well.” I said laughing.
“Insha’Allah.” Kayne added causing everyone to laugh. Steven kissed his teeth and carried on bragging about how great his son was going to be.
Everyone had gone home, except for Steven. He was chilling in my house ‘babysitting’ Kara. He said he wanted to get ‘experience’ around babies. 1, Kara wasn’t a baby, and 2, having a kid wasn’t a job, you couldn’t just get experience and everything would be okay. I learnt new things every day with Kara. That being said, I was happy that he was taking this so seriously.
“She made me sign some contract. You know I can’t talk to Mya anymore.”
“You’re crazy. I would never sign something like that. Watch when there’s a small sprint somewhere saying you’re donating your soul to her.”
“Nah, I made her sign one as well. She’s trying to stop me talking to girls that she thinks I want to, or have fxcked. So I said that if I’m horny she had to fulfil my needs.”
“And she signed it?”
“Cecilia acts all tough but we all know she loves this” He whispered the last part as Kara was on the floor playing her toys “dxck.”
“And you love hers.” Steven nodded.
“I will never deny that her” once again he whispered “pxssy” he spoke up again “game is sick. Don’t tell me that Cecilia is not attractive?” He was right, Cecilia was an attractive girl, and she always had been. But she wasn’t my type, she was Stevens’ type.
“So you too are at it like bunnies again?”
“Not really. She acts like she doesn’t want it. She’s tryna say how we should go out again properly before we do that.”
“And?”
“And that goes out the window when my fingers are in her pants.” I kissed my teeth. They were both idiots.
“You going to Aaliyah’s ting?”
“No.” I didn’t know what it was, but I want going.
“You weren’t invited?” He asked. I shook my head. I didn’t speak to her and he knew that.
“Were you?” He nodded. That shocked me.
“Penthouse setting bro. She’s having a leaving party.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she’s leaving on in a couple of days.”
“Isit?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. I knew Steven was trying to see me react.
“You gonna see her off?” I shook my head.
“I’ll tell her you said safe journey yeah?”
“Don’t bother.” He opened his mouth to chat more crap. “Come on Kara. Uncle Stevens going to cook you some diner now.” He looked at me standing up. I knew he thought I cared more than I was letting on, but he didn’t say thing.
Second to last chapter ^-^
This is your last chance to alter how this ends.
I have decided to not write a book 4. But what I might do, like later later, not in foreseeable further, I might add “The Forgotten Chapters”. Which is basically the Aaliyah’s (and everybody else’s) years in University leading up to what happens in the last chapter when she’s older. But yeah.
How will this end??