We all fall down,
We all get through somehow.
beep, beep, beep.
My vision was hazy as I opened my eyes and my ears were almost numb from the repetitive sounds of the machine beside me and the monotone droning of a news reporter. Worse yet was the aching in my chest and I winced as I dragged in a breath, a sharp pain being set off in my lungs. My throat was too dry and sore for me to bother trying to swear and I focused on trying adjust my eyes to the dim, white room around me that was barely lit by the light from a television.
'-in Monroeville, New Jersey last week with only two survivors. Medical school student Juliet Ridley and who turned to be her first patient Gerard Way. I have to tell you I was following this story all day from home and I think I speak for all of us Danny, when I say that this was an absolute tragedy.' It was the nine o'clock news, playing loud enough that I couldn't ignore it and I clenched my hands into fists as I watched the horrible images playing across the screen.
Body bags were being wheeled out on stretchers and the people that had gathered around the bank were either crying or just staring in shock.
'Yes Carol it certainly was and our hearts go out to all the families and friends affected by this. Now just a couple of hours ago we had a spotlight on this story and experts had a discussion on the motives behind this shocking crime. Was is a bank robbery gone wrong, a premeditated mass homicide or both?'
I saw someone I vaguely recognized as myself on a stretcher but at the same time it didn't look like me. I'd been strapped to a board so I couldn't move but I was unconscious and there was blood staining all my clothes and the blond in my hair. My ears stopped hearing the words and I was almost blind to anything else as I tried to find Jet in the video, I remembered seeing her before things went black but I wanted to know she got out of there.
Almost as if on cue I saw her walking across the screen, quickly following after me of all things. Her jeans covered in blood and without any concerns for protocol she climbed into the back of the ambulance, crossing her arms and turning her face away from the cameras. It hurt to sigh but I needed to do it that badly knowing she was okay that it was worth it. I'd nearly gotten her killed, I should have made her leave when we went to the jewelry store, if I did none of this would have happened.
'-the memorial will be held this Saturday.' God I can't listen to this. I struggled to sit up and looked around for a remote to turn it off. I know I fucked up, I didn't want to hear any more of it. There's probably a line a mile long outside waiting for their chance to kick my ass, I know I'd do the same thing if my brother got killed by a fucking idiot.
Looking to my side I almost felt my heart stop for a moment, there in the chair beside my bed was Jet, curled up into what was likely the worlds most uncomfortable position with her head barely resting on the bed and the bedsheets clutched in her hand like a lifeline.
What on earth did I do to deserve waking up to her?
Almost like I was in a daze I reached out to touch her, to see if she was actually real of if these entire world around me was an illusion and I'd gotten what I deserved back in the bank. My fingers touched her black hair, soft and messy but as beautiful as ever. Moving my arm too much I felt my elbow bump something and before I could stop it the television remote was knocked off the bed and hit the ground with a loud clatter. "Fuck!" I said unthinkingly, my sore throat immediately making me regret it and the sound making Jet stir. Shit, she's probably gotten barely any sleep as it is with all the press that'd be trying to get her story and I just woke her up.
"Gerard?" She muttered sleepily, lifting her head and as I watched her gorgeous eyes focus on me they went wide and she squealed way louder than any other sound I'd made. "Gee, you're awake! I was so worried about you, you've been unconscious for a week." The worlds all poured out at once, some stumbling over each other and before I could even properly register what she was doing she'd climbed out of the chair and flung her arms around me. The pain from the sudden weight on my chest almost made me stop breathing but I choked back any sounds and managed to put my arm around her waist. She felt like she'd lost a lot of weight.
"Don't worry, I'm alright now," I tried to say but the words came out strangled and she immediately tried to pull away. "Oh my god, your chest. I'm so sorry I didn't even think about it." I could have done myself a favor and let go but I held on tighter, I really could do with holding her right now even if it hurt like a bitch. "It's fine, I'm fine. It doesn't hurt." We both knew I was talking pure bullshit but she played along even if I could feel her intentionally shift her weight so she was barely touching me.
It felt like her warmth sunk into my bones as she hugged me and as painful as it might have been hugging her it hurt more letting her go even if she only pulled back enough to look at me. The smile on her face was more radiant than I'd ever seen it before and my heart nearly stopped looking at it but what did worse things to me was seeing the dark bruises on the side of her face. Then there was the marks in the form of a handprint on her throat.
I reached out to touch them and she pulled further back, untucking her hair from behind her ear and further zipping up her jacket to cover the marks.
"I'll fucking kill him. I swear even if he's in jail I'll fucking kill him." I spoke through gritted teeth to stop myself from shouting and Jet put a warm hand on my cheek with a look in her eyes that I knew was meant to calm me. "Gee, I killed him. H-he, he tried to rape me. Again, and I killed him. He'll never be able to hurt anyone again." Oh God, that's what had happened. I'd passed out and he tried to take her with him, or at least have some fun before he murdered her.
"He didn't, he didn't actually..."
"No, no I promise. I nearly let him, but I knew you'd been shot and he was going probably to kill me anyway once he got bored. I suppose I just wanted to go down fighting but I picked up the gun and next thing I know he's dead." Biting her lip she lowered her eyes and I watched her take a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling before she looked back up at me. "I nearly lost you. All the doctors were saying that if I didn't have enough medical knowledge you would have died. After he shot you in the leg, when he was dragging me away he shot you in the chest. I guess it was how much I was fighting that didn't let him get a good aim." Her soft voice began to grow hoarse with each worse she spoke and her hand dropped. "The bullet punctured your right lung, it went clean through and then your lung started to collapse...I manage to keep it covered so you could still breathe but you were so pale from blood loss and th-th-then your heart stopped."
Without warning she began to sob, her body shaking and tears pouring down her cheeks.
"I was so scared. I've never been that scared before. All I could think about was that I couldn't lose another person I love." She moved towards me once more, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face against my chest, her wet cheeks feeling warm on my skin. I felt almost as if if I couldn't breathe but not because there was a hole in my chest or my lung or whatever. "Gerard, I love you."
I'd never heard anyone say that to me before and I'd imagined of hearing it from her. The girl I'd been head over heels in love with since I was eleven, who I'd never dared dream of hoping to see her again, loved me back.
"I love you too, Jet." I kissed the top of her head and tried to resist smiling at the scent that wafted up from her hair. She smelled like coffee and vanilla, like a coffee shop."God, I love you."
I let go of her so she could wipe her eyes and cheeks with the sleeves of her shirt, smudging the little makeup she had on and I couldn't help but smile that little bit more at the sight of her. She couldn't have looked more beautiful if she tried.
When Jet noticed me openly staring at her, her cheeks changed color, going from a pale pink to bright red in a second and she quickly lowered her eyes. Looking away from me and letting her hair fall around her face. It was easy to forget how shy she could be.
Knowing she was just going to get more shy of I got too affectionate I changed she subject, "so how are you? The bruises are-"
Before I could have even dreamed of stopping her I could feel Jet kissing me, so faintly our lips were barely touching at all but it was enough to let me know exactly what she meant and as suddenly as she'd jumped up she was back in her chair again, shyly smiling at me. There was a glint in her eyes I'd never seen at the bank, she'd been too scared back then but in the comfort of the hospital room and far away from danger it was unmistakable. Was she looking at me the same way I felt I was looking at her?
I'm fucked, this really is love.
"Um, the doctors say all I've got it some bruises and scrapes, they're not too worried," she finally said, playing with her hands, "But they want me to see a psych in case I end up with PTSD. I wanted to argue with them but they probably aren't wrong," I could tell from the change in her voice that she still wouldn't go and honestly I couldn't blame her. I doubted that I'd be going when they tried to book me in although it still didn't make sense to me that I wasn't in a prison hospital or at least handcuffed to the bed. "Oh and your brother's here, downstairs." That was enough to snap me out of my thoughts and for a moment I swear to God I feared him.
"How angry is he at me?" I asked but rather than any hint of seriousness she simply wore a smile.
Jet laughed slightly before pulling her legs onto her chair and crossing them. "Furious, but he's glad you're alive and he'll be a million times happier when he finds our you're awake. The doctors were seriously considering kicking him out for a while with how much he was pestering them but I managed to sneak a look at your chart so he's mainly been asking me everything. He's really nice by the way, I haven't been wanting to leave the hospital so he's been getting me coffee and food. He's been here almost as much as me." And I'm pretty sure he would have been here the entire time of she wasn't.
"He's a good kid." Except for when he let people drag them into their bullshit and despair, then he was an idiot, but a good idiot and hey, I was kinda calling the kettle black here. "And he's gonna be killed because I fucked up and couldn't get him any cash." The words pulled the reminder of just how much trouble we were still in to mind and I couldn't avoid wincing. I shouldn't even be in hospital, we should be trying to figure out how to make that money or packing to run at the very least.
"Um, yeah about that," Jet muttered and I lifted my head to look at her. Her eyes refused to settle, shifting when I tried to make contact with her. God, she was worse than when Mikey was trying to lie to me. I can only imagine what she would be like attempting to lie to her parents.
"Why are you acting like that?" She looked like a scolded dog when I called her on it and she nervously chewed her thumbnail.
She started tapping her foot on the ground, bouncing her leg rather and realizing just as quickly what she was doing she pulled her leg back onto the chair and rested her head on her chin, turning sideways to look at me. "I'm not sure if what I've got to tell you will just make you angry or if you'll be happy about it..." Her voice trailed as she reached out to start tracing the veins in my hand.
I stopped her, lacing my fingers through hers, "Jet, don't best around the bush. What's up?"
She took a deep breath in and out, the air coming from her lungs sounding like a sigh. "Mikey's not gonna like that I told you this, he told me in confidence but it was Pax, um William. Apparently it was him that Mikey owed money to and Mikey was too scared to tell you." It felt like a one two punch. The first to the stomach to take the air out of me, the fact that the 'people' I had thought were after him was William, just William. The second was that he was officially free, no gangs, no debts, nothing.
And that that he hadn't trusted me enough to tell me everything from the beginning. "That idiot!" At my shout pain shot through my ribs and I clenched my jaw, hissing in pain. It hurt like a bitch and for some reason I seriously doubted I would be restarting my career as a marathon runner anytime soon. People were gonna kick my ass in jail.
"I know, I know but think about it this way. He's dead. There's no debt anymore so Mikey gets a long happy life!" While it had been me comforting her only a few moments ago it had quickly become the other way around and I could feel myself relax as she traced her thumb over the back of my hand. "Pax is, was, good at what he did and he managed to pull the both of you into a con."
It was worse than that, far worse. He'd convinced me he understood what I was doing, why I was doing it and considering the magnitude a fifty-fifty split had been completely fair. In the end he was getting all the money anyway.
"All those people...fuck it was all my fault. I should have seen it, I should have known." I was the moron, Mikey didn't tell me but I spent weeks with William before we did this heist, I should have known something was up. Even when I closed my eyes I could picture the red everywhere, all over the wall, the floor. It had been a fucking bloodbath. "So how's it gonna work? Pax did it but I'll take the wrap for everything?" I asked, bracing myself for the bad news. This was going to equal a lifetime in prison or at least half of one.
Jet chewed on her lip for a moment and I could see the look in her eyes as she calculated the next words to come out. Oh God, this was going to be real bad then. I was going to get the death penalty. Could you get treaty in Jersey for robbing a bank and having your partner murder everyone?
"You're off," she finally said, the two words coming out in one breath and I was sure I must have heard her wrong. There was no way that could have been possible.
"No, they can't, how, why? Just what?"
Jet shrugged and as much as I loved her I would have grabbed her and demanded an explanation if she didn't quickly continue. "As it turns out Pax had done most of the cleanup for you. Destroyed the tapes, wiped the benches, he hadn't wanted to get caught any more than you had and well you heard him bragging about how much he'd done and gotten away with." It was exactly then when I realized how far over my head I was. If a run of the mill hold up was the shallow end of the kiddy pool then I'd just experienced the Mariana Trench of robberies.
"But you were there, they must have asked you?" I said, looking at her and I received one of Jet's very few sarcastic grins.
"Oh sure and I'm going to point the finger at the guy I'm in love with. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gee," she rolled her odd eyes before blowing out a puff off breath in an attempt to get rid of her bangs that fell too far in the way of her eyes. "But if you were curious I simply mentioned we had been on a date when I wanted to swing in and see my friend at work. He had been harassing me, saying horrible things the entire time and after he had shot nearly everyone he left just us. You tried to stop him and got shot then he dragged me off, tried to rape me, I managed to get hold of his gun and killed him. Simple." Jet seemed to think saying everything in one giant lungful meant it was simple but then again it was clear from the fact I was only alive because of her that she was the smart one.
My head just hurt from taking in too much.
"How is it that you're somehow the one always saving me?" I breathed, looking at her and the smile she gave me would have made my knees week if I'd been standing. Fuck she's beautiful, I'd never be able to get enough.
"Maybe it's my type A attitude and my aggressive demeanor?" Despite the teasing in her voice I could hear the faint thread of panic beginning to weave it way back in. "Um, there's also one other thing you might want to hear about." Releasing my hand she adjusted herself in the chair and shoved her fingers into her jeans pocket, fiddling around for a moment before so quickly dropping something in my lap I couldn't even get a proper look at first.
"Jet what's that?" My eyes focused on the small silver circle sitting atop my sheet and I reached for it to pick it up. It was a ring and delicately mounted on every inch of it were diamonds. Big, small, some in between and for a moment I wondered if they were real before my years of thieving kicked in and told me it definitely was.
"I uh, might have stolen it from the jewelry store, by accident." The look I got was apologetic, enough to not make me doubt for even a second that her taking it had been entirely unintentional. Everything I knew about her told me that she wasn't the sort even capable of it. "I thought that if you didn't make it out then at least I could help Mikey a little. I'm not a jeweler or anything but it looks expensive and since you two don't need it to pay off anyone maybe you could use it to help buy a fresh start." But she was perfectly capable of realizing she had it and handing it over to someone she thought needed it more rather than back to Tiffany's. They would be losing their shit the second they realized this was missing.
It also happened to be one of the items they'd been intending on showcasing at the jewelry exhibition.
"Jet, do you have any idea how much that is worth?" I asked her, the look on her face said exactly what I thought. No. Her favorite things when we knew each other as kids was the old family piano and a multicolored bucket of chalk so that somehow doesn't surprise me. "This is a two million dollar ring!" I'd never seen anyone actually do it in real life but her jaw dropped open, her eyes glazing slightly at the significance of what she'd stuffed into her pocket by accident.
"It's what?" She tried, as if she hadn't heard me correctly, I knew exactly where she was at. I couldn't believe my eyes, William would have killed me or anyone for just this ring alone and with the buzz surrounding it in the blackmarket pawn trade that bumped the value up nearly another hundred grand.
A two million dollar engagement ring.
"This ring isn't a fresh start, it's a completely different life," I told her. A two million dollars meant a house, a car, a university degree. To Mikey and I it meant the entire world and it could have easily fit on Jet's ring finger. "You are perfectly insane," and I meant it with every ounce of love in my entire body.
She shrugged, "who else would have a boyfriend who grew up to be a master criminal?" I laughed slightly and the action hurt but it felt good, better than it had any time before now.
"I didn't take any of the money though, out of you me and Pax...you stole the most." Jet's cheeks flashed a pale pink at the news and I couldn't resist grinning at her. God I'd dragged her into it by accident but I couldn't lie, I was impressed. "Two million. Holy shit my girlfriend is a criminal mastermind." I pulled her a little closer and gave her a kiss, feeling a small smile on her lips at the compliment but before long she sighed my name and pulled away.
Wagging her finger at me like the doctor she was she moved further back into her chair, at a safe arms length. "Not too much, I don't want to accidentally hurt you. Your lung and the bullet wound won't be properly healed for a while." I already knew that I would be willing to take a little punishment in that regard if it meant a chance to kiss her.
"But I get a wicked scar right?" I asked, making her serious stare break away into a smile before she rolled her eyes again.
"Of course. I told them to make sure it looks as gnarly as possible." I wasn't sure how but it was actually going to look but I want an idiot and I honestly doubted I'd have anything bigger that a dime piece but it would have been pretty cool.
"That's why I love you," I told her because even though she mightn't have had any hand in the surgery I would have undergone at the very least she knew the value of a rad scar.
"Saving your life multiple times might be part of it," she conceded.
"Probably." While we looked at each other like a pair of dopey idiots I heard the sound of squeaking as the door to the private room was pushed open and I turned to see Mikey walking in with two takeaway bags.
"Jet, I went out and grabbed some burgers from that place you recommended you should eat something in case you-" he stopped mid-step when he saw me sitting up, looking at him and I waved. "Gerard, you're awake!"
"Hey Mikey," I said grinning at my brother as he came over to the bed, standing beside Jet and for a moment I swear I could feel my life click into place. Like all the bullshit between the day I was born and now was just filler leading up to this, even if my lung is killing me.
I had my girlfriend and my brother, and a million dollars in my hand.
What a God did I sell my soul to and forget about? I didn't know but I was starting to think it might have been worth it.
"Why are you holding a ring? Oh God, did I interrupt a proposal?" Jet and I both had a slight chuckle at his expense over how extremely he had taken the scenario out of context.
"No, not yet anyway," I told him and my eyes flickered to Jet, seeing her cover her mouth with her fist to hide her smile and avert her gaze when I caught it and there was no doubt in my mind I meant what I said. If I had a fresh start, I could be anyone, anything. Mikey could study sound engineering and if I could get a good enough job and work my ass off, I could actually buy Jet a ring like this. It sounded pretty perfect.
"Jet and I were just talking...how do you feel about California?"