--REY--
I don't want to sleep tonight.
In fact, I haven't wanted to sleep for many nights, but this lack of rest is taking its toll on my body and I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. Luke noticed the change almost immediately and stopped my training, much to my dismay, but I can understand him not wanting history to repeat itself. Even though I think I'm fine.
It's been a week since Kylo Ren first made his presence in my mind known, and I haven't slept much since. I'm too afraid of what will happen if I really fall asleep. For all I know, the First Order is just waiting for me to slip and let down the defenses I've built up in my mind. I won't risk Luke's or my safety. Luke tells me it's not healthy, that it's not worth my sanity or well-being, but I'll be damned if I bring the wrath of the Order down on him.
I sense Luke behind me before I hear him. "I'm not having this discussion again," I tell him, glancing over my shoulder. He smiles at me and crosses his arms over his robe-clad chest.
"I know, I wasn't going to argue with you again. We both know I can't win," he chuckles. "I was going to ask for a favor."
"Favor?" I ask, standing up and stretching my meditation-stiff muscles.
Luke nods. "I think it might bring us both a little peace of mind, but you're not going to like it."
"I'm not going to sleep."
"I know," he sighs. "This might be worse though."
"Worse? Worse how?" I narrow my eyes at my master.
"I want you to investigate the connection."
I raise my eyebrows, questioning his judgment. Surely he can't mean... Oh, who am I kidding? This is Luke Skywalker we're talking about. He's insane.
He gives me his best 'I'm serious' expression. "I'm going to give you something Master Yoda once gave me to help me focus on feeling the Force within me. It's a special tea that tastes like a garbage compactor, but it'll get you close to sleep, but conscious enough to still be in control."
I mull this over for a moment, and I can tell my Master thinks he's won. "Will I be able to keep him from infiltrating my mind?" I ask him.
"If you're able to do it awake, you'll be able to do it with the tea. It all depends on your abilities and will-power."
The next few moments are filled with tense silence as I try to decide if this is worth the risk. Master Luke knows I will always do whatever he asks of me (as long as it would not put him in danger), and I can sense the grim victory smile even before I sigh in defeat.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ten minutes later, Luke brings me a steaming cup of what smells like the luggabeasts' water troughs back on Jakku. I try not to inhale as the disgusting concoction is placed in front of me. He tells me to drink up, then disappears to wait for the effects to set in. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. You can do this, Rey. It's hardly the worst thing you've ever had to consume. Luke chuckles from his position near the edge of the cliff, presumably sensing the mental encouragement I'm giving myself.
The first sip burns my tongue and sends chills down my spine. It's an odd sensation, feeling nerve endings come to life while my entire body seems to grow heavy with sleep at the same time. The second sip numbs me from head to toe, and lulls me deeper into that strange sense of heavy weightlessness. Everything blurs together after that until every last drop is drained from the cup. I shift into a comfortable meditative position and the world spins in sickening circles around me. Just as my eyes drift shut, I see the blurry figure of my Master settling in front of me.
"May the Force be with you, Rey," I think I hear him say. I want to reply, but I'm no longer in control of my body. This would otherwise terrify me, but I can't seem to muster the energy to panic.
For several minutes all I see are kaleidoscopes of strange colors and patterns in my mind. I feel dizzy, as if my body were falling through empty space. When everything suddenly stops and darkness engulfs my mind, I see it: a small hole in the endless black, a tear in the seam of reality that beckons to me. I don't move toward it, yet it draws near.
Without warning it careens toward me, and I reflexively lift arms that don't exist to protect my face, which also doesn't exist. The pinprick of light expands into a crater-sized hole, a portal of some sort by the looks of the scenery now visible past the near-blinding rays of light shining through. I teeter on the edge of the hole before tumbling through, pushed by an invisible force.
The fall is strange. I do not feel anything, yet the ground rushes toward me and I can feel the wind against my slowly-materializing body. I slow to a stop inches before my face collides with dirt, and the same invisible something lowers me gently to the ground. Sitting up, I'm suddenly unsure if I'm still dreaming. I must be, since I'm suddenly on a planet I've never seen before. A small gasp escapes my parted lips as I take in the overwhelming beauty of the vast landscape, the likes of which I thought only existed in my dreams.
Lush green grass blows in the gentle breeze, rising and falling with the hills and whispering hushed, lilting melodies. In the distance I see a stream weaving lazily through the twists and turns of the landscape. Mountains cross the horizon like a snow-capped spine surrounding the peaceful little meadow.
It is then that I realize I'm not dreaming. I must be dead. Surely this place isn't real. I lift my face toward the sky and watch the fluffy white clouds drift languidly across the endless blue. The sun, unlike that of Jakku, is soft and gentle as it warms my skin.
I'm considering a nap on my plush green bed when a child's laughter pulls me out of my daze. I'm on my feet and reaching for my staff before I remember I'm not really here, and nothing can hurt me in my dream state. Right?
"Hello?" I call out, hoping to find the child. My voice sounds strange and detached, but not unpleasant.
"Hello," says a small voice behind me. I turn and meet the gaze of a young boy no older than four, with sparkling eyes, a crooked grin, and dark, curly hair. "Who are you?" His voice is strange as well, echoing as if spoken inside a vast, empty hall. It's slightly unnerving, and I have to remind myself that this is all in my mind.
I decide to start with the basics before assaulting the boy with my endless questions. "My name is Rey. What's yours?"
He opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off by a booming voice that carries across the field.
"Ben!"
I freeze, unable to comprehend what I'm seeing.
No. It can't be. He's dead.
I fall to my knees, suddenly too weak to stand. Hot tears prick my eyes and my hands fly to my mouth to cover the gut-wrenching sob that tears from my chest.
"Daddy!" Ben runs, as fast as his little legs will carry him, across the grass and into the arms of Han Solo. They smile at each other and Ben giggles, arms outstretched, as his father spins him around in circles. Han is much younger, with dark brown hair and crinkles only around his eyes, but it's him. I watch from the ground, tears streaming down my face, as father and son laugh and play together without concern for - or knowledge of - the future.
A third figure appears over the hill, floating gracefully in a beautiful white dress, long hair billowing behind her in the warm breeze. Leia.
"Han, please be careful! He needs to be healthy for his first lesson with Luke tomorrow," She scolds. A small smile plays at the corner of her lips despite the frown she tries to force.
"He's fine, Leia, trust me. His skull is thicker than mine." Han shoots a grin and a wink at his wife, who finally lets the smile take over. They look like the perfect new family, so happy it's hard to imagine it's the same one that would get torn apart in little more than a decade. I stand up on trembling legs, wanting to talk to them and warn them about their son, but they don't see me. Whatever allowed Ben to see me before is gone, and now I'm simply a spectator catching a glimpse of their afternoon from beyond some invisible wall.
Several minutes pass before they head down the hill, Han and Leia on either side of Ben, his little hands reaching up to hold those of his parents. I take one step to follow them before a dark, familiar sensation crawls up my spine and that voice fills my veins with ice.
"Hello, Rey." His voice is calm and almost friendly, as if he expected to find me here in some of his oldest memories. I finally turn to face him, and he is just as I remembered: tall, broad-shouldered and long-limbed, with the poised, predatory grace of a nexu. His face is hooded in shadow, invisible but for the sinister glint in his dark eyes. He is clothed in the same black tunic and pants as before, and his hair is so dark it seems to absorb every drop of sunlight that touches it. The only thing missing are his mask and lightsaber, which makes sense given the absence of my own staff and saber.
I muster as much courage as I can and rise to my full height - still significantly smaller than the towering figure of Kylo Ren. I think I catch a glimpse of a brief amused smile, but it is gone so quickly I must have imagined it. My next words are spoken with more bravado than I thought possible, and even Ren appears taken aback by my sudden surge of bravery:
"We need to talk."