SIX ; SAUDADE.
A wicked grin appears on his face.
He sees the trepidation in Jonah Grey's eyes and a sick sense of pride washes over him. Grey's hands are bound together with a spiked zip tie, an invention Lawrence had created himself. He nods to Nelson, signaling for him to put the blindfold over his eyes. Nelson obliges, tying the black cloth behind Grey's head.
The last thing the hostage sees is Joseph Lawrence's malicious smile and daunting eyes.
The leader throws Grey to the floor of the van. He's laid next to his potential wife. Leslie Sawyer screams into the gag that had been forced into her mouth as she feels Jonah next to her.
They're barely touching arms. She can feel the wetness of his blood.
A door slams. The muffled screaming is replaced with suppressed cries. The car is ignited and Nelson takes off with a start. The two hostages inch closer to each other. The search for familiarity lies in how truly unsafe they know they are.
Masters watches the couple from his computer station in the car. There's a sudden ache in his chest, an emotion he's unable to identify. Perhaps he's feeling pity. Perhaps he's feeling regret.
Perhaps it's saudade. He's only able to use that word correctly because of her.
The word has a Portuguese origin, she said him one day. They had been discussing things they missed. He'd told her his father. She'd told him her parents. I came across it in a book one day. Her eyes had flicked toward the door their boss had recently exited. It's the single word that describes the feeling of missing something or someone. It evokes a sense of loneliness or incompleteness.
Perhaps Kyle Masters missed Quinn Carson.
She was his calm through the storm. She kept him at bay from doing something irrational. Something that would get him killed.
Masters had joined the Horsemen as a vigilante, coincidentally meeting Lawrence at a bar one night. Lawrence had talked him into joining Peterson, Nelson and himself in a group. Masters accepted the offer.
He thought the Horsemen was what he wanted years ago. But now, he wasn't so sure.
Quinn was independent. Lawrence knew she could never be truly loyal to the group. Kyle admired that.
But he would never be able to act on his doubts. Not if he wanted to survive. Not if he wanted Quinn to survive.
As he looked away from the bounded couple, his heart began to ache. He was the one to throw Quinn to the FBI. He knew she'd be able to walk free if they did so. He knew she'd help the FBI. He knew she was smart enough to figure out the endgame Lawrence refused to tell her. He knew she'd be safe. He knew she had to be safe. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she wasn't.
Perhaps he did feel saudade.
Perhaps he loved Quinn Carson.
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Her mind was spinning.
Would they really be bold enough to go after someone as powerful as Jonah Grey? He was the most feared man in the business they were in. They would never make it out alive. The Horsemen may have multiple connections, but Grey doubled their numbers. Lawrence had to know that. He had to.
Unless this was their swan song.
It made sense. They got the attention of the FBI with the recent murders, they kidnapped Leslie Sawyer, they killed Peterson. They threw her to the government to help stall. With the FBI occupied, they could continue their plan. Their final plan.
Quinn stood up from her chair and began to pace the small room she'd become familiar with.
But why now? What did they have planned? What grudge did the Horsemen hold with Grey?
What was their finale going to be?
To answer this question, Quinn knew she'd have to start at the beginning of it all. When Lawrence formed The Four Horsemen with Nelson, Peterson, and Masters. The Horsemen had to have a driving force. The end of it all had to justify the means.
Revenge, Quinn thought. That could be the reason behind the formation of the group.
But revenge for what? Lawrence held millions of grudges, some small, others so large and twisted it would scar someone just to think about it. If revenge was the cause, the grudge he had formed the Horsemen around had to be the biggest. Lawrence rarely showed weakness, and when he did it was hard to catch.
As Quinn thought back to the day she was at her weakest point, a memory sparked in her mind.
Blood. That was the only thing she could see. That was the only color she remembered. It was splattered on the walls, the rug, the chairs in the living room.
"You promised!" Quinn had screeched out, falling to her knees. She was hysterical, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't take her eyes off the lifeless bodies of her parents. "You promised you'd spare them if I agreed!"
Nelson and Masters grabbed her arms and pulled her off the floor. Lawrence was now in front of her, guiding her chin up to meet his gaze with his finger. "That was a lie," he countered. His voice was a malevolent sing-song. "A lie you should have detected."
Quinn ripped her face out of his hand. This was her first mistake.
He let out a sound of false pity. His lips were formed into a pout, eyes void of any emotion. "Quinn, Quinn, Quinny," he sang, mouth now pursed. "It's not that bad." Quinn watched his eyes. They now held some sort of sadness or anger. "Now, you're just like us."
"I will never be like you," she spat, letting a stray year fall down her face. This was her second mistake.
She was now certain the emotion in his eyes was anger. He raised the arm he held his pistol in and brought it up to her face. Quinn clenched her eyes shut. She felt the cool of the metal against her cheek, cracking her eyes open to see Lawrence tracing her cheek bone with the barrel of the gun. "Oh, Quinn," Joseph Lawrence said, tone laced with a sense of regret. Black eyes met brown. "You truly, truly have so much to learn."
Quinn gripped the table next to her and she her eyes widened to saucers. The only emotion Lawrence had been anger. It began when he started speaking about her parents.
Now, you're just like us.
She'd had multiple conversations with Kyle Masters about what they had missed back home. Or whatever 'home' was. They couldn't exactly remember. But Kyle had always mentioned his father. He always missed his father.
If Lawrence and Masters parents had been killed, that most likely meant Nelson's parents had been too. Was that their endgame? To avenge their parents?
Jonah Grey was an assassin. Had he murdered the three Horsemen's parents?
Quinn Carson couldn't take all these thoughts swimming through her head anymore. She had to tell someone.
So she yelled the first name that came to mind.
"Spencer!" Her voice echoed off the walls of the interrogation room. She continued to pace back and forth, quicker this time. Her fingers met her wrists, nails scratching up and down. "Spencer!"
The door swung open to reveal Spencer Reid and Alex Blake in the doorway. The entire BAU team was behind them, watching Quinn with wild eyes. "I think I have something."
Spencer neared closer to her, asking one simple question, "What?"
"Is your tech person good?" she questioned. Her fingers continued to itch the skin of her arms.
"The best," replied Spencer.
"I want you to check anything and everything about the possibility of the Horsemen's parents going missing," Quinn ordered. She stopped pacing. "I think they're trying to get revenge for their fathers and mothers. I think Jonah Grey killed them."
"Why would you think this?" Aaron Hotchner asked, pushing to the front of the group.
Quinn sighed exasperatedly, shrugging her shoulders. "It's just, it's the only thing that makes sense to me. It's the thing we all had in common. We all had parents that had been killed. I just realized it now, but-"
"Were your parents killed by Grey?" Blake inquired.
"No," Quinn answered. "The Horsemen did."
A quiet came over the group. Quinn had so much to say, so much to explain. Spencer could see that.
Suddenly he had an idea.
"Excuse us for a minute," he told her, making Quinn furrow her brow at the sudden action. Spencer shut the door, pushing the team back into the room.
"Reid, what the-"
Spencer cut Morgan off. "Have her work with Garcia."
Protests sounded immediately. "Have you lost your mind?" Rossi questioned, eyes wide.
"Think about it," Reid said. "She has the best idea out of all of us right now. We have the best lead on the Horsemen we've had in days. Her mind is spinning right now, when she's thinking she's brilliant." His eyes scanned the group. "I'm not saying we release her into the world just yet. We'll have someone watch her. She'll tell Garcia what to look for. We've never had someone from the inside of a group work with us before. I think if we do this, we have the best chance of catching the Horsemen that we've had all week." Spencer paused to catch his breath and shrugged. "I believe in Quinn Carson."
Nobody spoke a word. None of them could. Spencer did make a good point. They knew Quinn wouldn't hurt anyone or try to do anything. She knew her best bet was to stay on the good side of the FBI. Maybe she'd be right. Maybe they'd catch the Horsemen.
Hotch sighed. "She gets one hour."
Spencer had to suppress the smile that tempted to break out across his lips. He opened the door once more and met eyes with Quinn.
"What's going on?" she asked him. She could see the excitement in his eyes. It was pure. It was happy. She envied him.
Morgan moved past the doctor, raising his eyebrows at the girl. He put his hand on the small of her back and nudged her in the direction of the door. "You, Quinn Carson," he began, a disbelieving smile on his face. "Are going on a bit of a field trip."
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aja naomi king as leslie sawyer
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EEEEEEEP I LOVE WRITING THIS
I JUST FINISHED PLOTTING IT COMPLETELY AND I AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THE REST OF IT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND LIKE I DONT CARE RHAT THIS STORY DOESNT HAVE A TON OF READS I FUCKING LOVE IT AND I'M GOING TO KEEP WRITING IT BC IM KIND OF PROUD OF IT
anyways enough with the yelling, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it !!
love you tons.
-mags