Her room would have looked dark and empty on the first glance. But a closer look would have revealed the dim light from under her blanket. Malini always pretended she was asleep, while in reality, she would be reading a book under her blanket. It had become a habit for her after Karthik left. She would just read herself to sleep.
The light from her mobile torch illuminated the last line of the book. "Forever isn't meant for everyone." Tears formed in her eyes as soon as she read it. The line described her life perfectly. She had thought her relationship with Sahil was forever, that no matter what, it wouldn't break. But then, Karthik happened. Now, when she was getting over it, finding a balance between the two, destiny struck again. Malini still remembered that night a month ago...
"What are doing darling?" Karthik had asked her.
She looked at him with a look that would have told him that she was caught. But he wasn't looking at her. He sat there at the window sill, holding his favorite book. .
"Umm...nothing," she said relieved, "just checking on my Facebook."
Karthik didn't speak for some time. But then he got up, placed his mug on the sill and spoke in a voice so low that she almost missed it.
"I'm going Malu," he said.
Malini looked up from her laptop. She didn't understand what was going on.
"It's twelve in the night, where are you going so late?" she had asked.
"What I mean Malini is..." he stumbled with words, "what I mean is I'm going. Breaking up."
Malini couldn't believe her ears. What had happened to him suddenly? She kept her laptop aside and rushed to stand by his side.
"What happened darling? Out of nowhere..."
"It's not a sudden decision Malini," he cut her in between, "I have been thinking over this for quite some time now. I know you haven't forgotten Sahil yet. And I'm not mad at you for that. If I had loved someone the way you loved him, probably I also wouldn't have forgotten." He stopped for a moment, allowing the words to seep in her.
"You still look at his facebook picture daily, don't you?" he asked again.
Malini couldn't deny it. He was right. She was looking at it at that moment as well, before he dropped the bomb on her.
Taking her silence as a yes, Karthik spoke again, "What I'm mad at darling, is why haven't you gone after him yet? I know you never wanted this marriage, but you've still put up with it. And I respect you for that. But now, now you're free Malini.
"I have loved you from the first day we met, and for the sake of this love I have for you, I'm breaking up with you. Go Malini; go get your love back."
Malini had cried her heart out that day. She didn't know whether they were tears of joy or sorrow, but she had cried at his shoulders.
"But we have tied the knot for forever Karthik," she had managed to say between the sobs.
Karthik had held her face in his hands, and looked into her eyes with the immense love she knew he had for her.
"Maybe, forever isn't meant for everyone," he had said before kissing her on her forehead and leaving.
Malini had sought Sahil after that day, but she didn't get the same love from him. The worse came when he confessed that it was never love, it was always for the money.
Malini's heart broke that day. It wasn't ready to believe that there was something called love in this world. But then she had thought of Karthik and how he loved her with all her heart. but destiny had different plans for her. Before she could return back to him, it had snatched the one man who loved her away from her. World gave it the name of accident, but she knew it was because of her. She was his culprit.
Malini couldn't control her tears now. That last line of the book, "Forever isn't meant for everyone," it had brought all the memories back.
Today, for the first time after Karthik's death, she cried herself to sleep instead of reading.
***
cchinu (05/05)