It's so easy to fall into a state of mind where you believe that everything will always be the same.
Where you wake up everyday to greet the ones you love and then go about the rest of your day with the mindset that it will be the same way tomorow.
But when something happens to change all that, and everything becomes twisted and dark, the walls that surround you break.
And everything falls apart.
////
I pace back and forth with my hands clasped together behind my back. The day has finally come, any moment now I'll be a father.
I had been out chopping down trees in the forest in order to gather wood for our house. I realized that having only two bedrooms and a very small dining area wasn't going to be able to house four elves.
I knew it would take a lot of work to add on to the house but I didn't exactly have anything else to do anyway. Since I had been expelled from the Guard I've had a lot of spare time on my hands.
I used it to mainly spend time with Anna and Elwin before I decided to do some work on our home. The news of the men was kept hidden from everyone in the village, as well as me killing them.
Everyone assumed that I left the Guard because of Elwin and the baby that was soon to come so that's what Idhrenion, Landion, and I decided to let them believe.
Landion and I are not as close as we used to be but we haven't stopped being friends. He'll come over every once in awhile and talk to me about how things are at the borders but it never goes far beyond that.
As I said earlier I had been out hewing away at wood with my axe when Anna had appeared shouting that Elwin was giving birth.
I had thrown my axe onto the ground, scooped Anna into my arms, and ran all the way to the house. Once I arrived healers were already in there, and had told me that I had to wait outside.
Anna sat in the grass with her hands folded on her lap. She watched me pace back and forth with her wide green eyes. She was just as excited as I was.
A few elves had gathered near the front of our house waiting for the baby to arrive. It had been almost a thousand years since there'd been an elfling in the village and for the longest time many assumed that Anna would be the last.
Landion walks over to me and I stop pacing. He clasps me on the shoulder and smiles.
"Congratulations Caran."
I nod and smile back, but it's a forced smile.
Part of me still loathes him for wanting the men to live, while another part wishes that we could still be as close as we once were. Another reason my smile is forced is because I'm worried about Elwin.
What if something goes wrong? What if something happens to her or the baby? I try not to let that fear settle in my heart but it's a battle that I'm losing.
Anna scrambles to her feet as one of the healers comes out of the house. I spin around to face her and immediately start asking questions.
"Is Elwin alright? How is she? What about the baby? Are they both alright?"
The healer chuckles and grins.
"Everything went just fine Caran. Elwin is fine, and you now have a son."
Cheers and calls of congratulations fill the air at the news. Anna hugs me and I can only stare ahead with a huge smile on my face.
A son...
I have a son!
"Can I go see them?"
The healer nods and stands aside allowing me and Anna to enter.
We head towards the room just as the second healer is leaving.
She smiles and dips her head as we enter. I see Elwin propped up on her bed, she seems tired but also has a look of pure joy on her face. In her arms she cradles a small bundle wrapped in a white blanket.
I go and stand beside her on one side of the bed while Anna stands on the other. Elwin looks up at me and smiles.
"He has your eyes."
I look down at the small elf in her arms. His eyes are blue but almost look grey, they dart around the room eagerly taking in everything around them. They do look like mine.
His pointed ears are small and delicate, short dark hair covers the top of his little head. Everything about him is perfect.
"Do you want to hold him?"
Elwin asks offering me the delicate bundle.
I hesitate before crouching down and tentatively reaching out to cradle him in my own arms.
Once I'm certain he is secure I stand back up and look down in wonder and amazement at my son. His eyes continue to dart around for a moment before finally resting on mine.
I smile and whisper a soft "hello" as I gently tuck a small strand of his hair behind his ear. He returns my smile as one of his tiny hands reaches out and grasps my finger.
I laugh as his smile grows, his entire face seems to beam with a soft glowing. I continue to hold him and look into those bright blue-grey eyes. This is my son, my own flesh and blood, he has been in my life for less than an hour and already I can't imagine life without him.
"What should we name him?"
Elwin asks.
I look at her and then back at my son. I want his name to be special, perfect.
I study those happy little eyes and grin as he tightens his grip around my finger.
"Rilien."
I say.
Elwin repeats the name.
"Rilien, bright."
She smiles.
"It's perfect."
I look down into Rilien's eyes, just like his name they are bright with new life.
"Rilien."
I say his name again while looking down at him and he smiles.
"Can I hold him?"
Anna asks from her side of the bed. I carefully walk to the other side and gently place Rilien into her arms. She smiles and tickles his chin.
"Hello Rilien."
I sit down beside Elwin and put my arm around her while she leans her head on my shoulder.
"He's perfect."
I whisper.
I turn and kiss her on the forehead.
"You all are."
As Elwin rests her eyes and Anna holds and speaks softly to her nephew I once again reflect on how much my family means to me.
I've always look after Anna, I've loved Elwin for years, and now I have a son to protect and love as well. I felt so blessed in that moment that I believed that nothing could happen to ruin it.
But what I forgot to take into consideration was that no matter what it is you possess, whether it's a treasure of yours or the people in your life-
It can be taken away in the blink of an eye.
////
I was out in the forest again cutting down another tree and gathering more wood to finish the house. I wiped the sweat off my brow and inspected the tree I had just felled.
Being an Avari I did not have the same connections to trees the way my Silvan kin did. I felt no sorrow or remorse I swung my axe into the tree's bark and had watched in satisfaction as it crashed onto the forest floor.
A few feet away were Anna and Rilien, who had reached his first year just a month ago. Elves mature faster than mortals do, by the time we are one year of age we can already begin talking and walking on our own.
Rilien is learning a few words and is usually supported by Anna whenever we take walks somewhere. At the moment the only words he had truly mastered were "nana" and "Anna" which he repeated to himself daily.
I've been trying to teach him how to say "ada" but he usually ends up either calling me nana or Anna. Sometimes I think he's doing it on purpose.
The reason Anna and Rilien were with me that day was so Elwin could have some time to herself. She had been so busy with Rilien and Anna while I was out working that she hadn't had a day to herself in what seemed like forever.
So I had agreed to watch Rilien and Anna while she relaxed and enjoyed herself. It was cool for a bright summer day and I was tempted to leave my axe behind for awhile and take Rilien and Anna to the river for a swim.
Just before I could ask them what they wanted to do I felt a shiver run up my spine. Though I hadn't been among the Guard for two years (which was almost no time at all for an elf) I still had all of my training, and the feeling of dread I would receive whenever danger was nearby.
"Anna! Bring Rilien over here now!"
I call out to her. A moment later she appears from behind a large oak with her hand gripping Rilien's.
"Caran what's wrong?"
She asks with a slight tremble to her voice.
"Take Rilien home."
I grip my axe tighter in my hand.
"Find Elwin and tell her to alert Landion, there's something coming."
Anna's eyes widen and she grips Rilien's hand even tighter.
The elflings' eyes are lit with confusion. He couldn't understand what was happening or why Anna had stopped their game. I knelt down in front of him and kissed him quickly on the forehead.
I did the same with Anna.
"Now go."
I ordered.
"Quickly!"
Anna led Rilien out of the forest and towards the direction of our house.
I clutch my axe tighter as I head deeper into the trees. I hear something in the distance that turns my blood into ice, the pounding of many hooves on the ground.
The thundering of the hooves are soon mixed with the angry shouts and cries of men.
Immediately I turn around and run towards the village.
It's like reliving a nightmare, and for a moment I want to collapse right there on the ground and and pray that the earth opens up and swallows me, taking me into the depths of the darkness.
But something drives me on, three things keep me running towards the village with burning lungs and a pounding heart, those three things are what bring tears of panic to my eyes as I fear of what is about to occur.
Elwin, Rilien, and Anna.
All three of them are in that village, one that will not be left standing before the night is through.