Zayn
As soon as I get back to my dorm, I delete the recording. But I know the damage has already been done.
Because she heard it.
And I know I didn't walk in on her during the part she said I did. I could feel her lying. And when I walked in, she looked so pale and so dazed, and I just know she heard it all. The ending. The worst part.
But I have no idea what I was thinking when I recorded it, because none of it's true. I hope she knows that. I got to know her, and I hated it. She's just like I thought she would be. And her smile? Nothing special about it.
I chuck my MP3 on my bed and lean against the closed door, letting out a deep, heavy breath. I knew this recording would come back to haunt me. Even though I swore I deleted it. And, god, how am I going to look Violet in the eye now? She probably thinks I have this huge, undying crush on her. But really, I won't have to see her much. I'll just try and avoid her more than I usually do.
"You're such an idiot, Zayn," I sigh to myself.
"Hmm, I agree," a voice startles me. I jump about a mile and see Avery standing by the bathroom door, a wide grin inked on her face.
"Jesus Christ!" I yell. "How long have you been in there?!"
She ducks her head and laughs. "The door was open when I came in and I needed to use the toilet."
"And you couldn't use any other toilet in the whole school?"
"You kiddin'? These school toilets are foul. And anyway, I was coming to see if Niall was in and then I needed to pee. Then I heard you insult yourself." She cocks her head to the side. "Why?"
I sigh and sit down on my bed. I'm so used to Avery and her strangeness now. She's so much like Niall, and I've learnt to live with the both of them. "Nothing. Don't worry."
"Obviously something is the problem. Come on, tell me," she pushes.
"It's nothing. Really."
"Zaynnnn."
I hesitate, wondering how I can word this. I look up at her, my hand on my jaw. "I made a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake. And someone found out. And I don't really know what to do about it."
She looks back at me, her face confused. Then, she smiles and nods. "Is this about Brittany?"
"What?" I splutter. Brittany? Why does she always have to be the centre of attention?
Avery sits down on Niall's bed. "You made a mistake by dumping her and you told her, but now she won't take you back. Am I right?"
I blink, mouth open. "What?" I repeat. I shake my head. "No, look, Avery-," I pause. Avery's Violet's best friend; I can't tell her. Lying seems so much simpler than the truth right now. "Yeah," I tell her. "No, yeah. That's exactly what it is. What a dilemma, huh? Golly."
Avery leans her chin on her fists, thinking. "Hmm, this is tricky. Brittany's a tough one. I can't believe she won't take you back though. Niall told me she really liked you."
I shrug. "Gutting, right?"
"Maybe you should just move on, Zayn," she says, a little pityingly. "I mean, she obviously has. What more is there you can do?"
I try and restrain myself from telling her that I was over Brittany and I ages ago, but I play along with my act and sigh, looking down at my feet. "I-It's just so hard," I choke.
Avery rushes to me, wrapping an arm around me. "Oh, Zayn! I know! But it'll get better, I promise you."
I sniff, pretending to hold back tears, and look up at her. "So, what do you suggest I do? To get over her, I mean."
Avery nibbles on her lip. "Well, I know you don't want to be in a relationship-"
"Does Niall just tell you everything?" I cut in, a little pissed. That's the last time I tell him anything in confidence.
"But," Avery continues, ignoring me. "I think it'll be good for you. How about I set you up with someone?"
My eyes widen. "Uh, wait, what?"
She leaps of the bed, clapping her hands in excitement. "Yes! That's a great idea! It's the perfect thing to take your mind off an ex, going out and finding a new person."
I stand up, seriously freaking out about how serious Avery is about this. My miserable acting is long gone. "Avery, hang on a sec-"
She turns to me, eyes wild. "I know the perfect girl. Her name's Katie and you two will have so much in common!"
"I am not going on a blind date," I tell her sternly.
"Oh, it won't be! You'll double with Niall and I. God, this is so exciting!"
"Avery."
"Where are we gonna go? We need to go somewhere nice. We should try get out of school, but-"
"Avery."
"I need to tell Katie!"
"Avery, please."
She turns to me, quietening down. "Yeah?"
I hold out my hands. "I'm okay! Look, totally fine. Brittany who? I don't need a date."
She smacks me lightly on the arm. "Oh, I see right through you, Zayn," she winks. "It's okay, I'm not judging. Katie's lovely, you'll like her."
I groan. There has to be some way to get out of this. Just as I'm about to speak again, Niall walks through the door and Avery pounces on him, spewing up the news.
"A blind date?" Niall's eyebrows raise and he looks over at me. "Really?"
I swipe my hand across my neck, shaking my head, showing him that I'm clearly not into this. Avery spins to face me and I drop my hand.
"He's really excited, aren't you, Zayn?" She grins.
I give a shaky thumbs up and force a smile.
Niall bursts into laughter and puts his hands on his girlfriend's shoulders. "Babe, I don't think this is a good idea."
I sigh in relief. Thank you, Niall.
Niall looks at me and grins. "Katie's not a good choice. I reckon Mia."
I give him a fuck you we are so no longer friends look and Avery practically falls over.
"Mia! Yes! Oh, my god. I'll go tell her right now. You're gonna look forward to this, Zayn." She reaches up and kisses Niall before running out the door.
As soon as Niall shuts the door, and turns around to look at me, I lower my eyes and give him the coldest stare I physically can.
He laughs again. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad."
"I can't believe you!" I cry. I swipe my hand across my neck again. "This clearly means 'I don't want to do this, help me out, friend'."
"What have you got to lose? I mean, really. It's just a date, and you'll be with us if things go really bad."
"It'll give me chance to murder you."
"Hey," Niall holds out his hands in defence. "I totally saved you. Katie is the worst possible choice. At least Mia's has something going for her."
I think about it for a second. "Oh, yeah? What's she like?"
"Funny, smart, a little shy but she opens up after a while. Really into crafts and things," he replies.
"Yeah, yeah, what about her body?"
Niall shakes his head and laughs. "That's not important." He walks into the bathroom.
"It's the most important thing!" I argue.
He sticks his head back through the door. "How about you try and get to know a girl before you fuck her, yeah?"
I roll my eyes. He makes me sound like some animal. "I don't even do that. I'm a virgin."
His roaring laughter hits me from the bathroom and lasts for a good two minutes. "Yeah," he says, walking back out. "And I'm American."
I don't laugh. "Seriously, Niall. Tell me what I can expect from this girl. I need some background info before I do this thing."
He just looks at me, a sly look on his face. "Trust me, you'll love her."
------
"I made this out of egg cartons. I'm really into recycling."
I eye the cardboard necklace hanging around Mia's neck that's painted in bright colours and covered in glitter and give a shaky, forced smile. "Ha, cool."
This is horrible. We've been out on the field for at least half an hour already and this date is not getting any better. Mia is the weirdest fucking person I have ever met; and I'm friends with Niall and Avery. From head to toe she's dressed in creations she's made, all out of recycled rubbish and painted in shiny bright colours. And glitter. Everything's covered in glitter. As if it could get any worse, she doesn't even have a good body. She's awkward and frumpy and she has a round face with sunken in brown eyes and blonde hair cropped to her shoulders. And in her hair there's a 'recycled' bow made out of plastic. Covered in glitter.
I'm starting to think that Katie was a way better choice and Niall chose the worst girl in the school.
"Sorry, I'm talking too much," Mia giggles. "Tell me a bit about you."
I look to my left and glare at Niall and Avery that sit making out on the end of our bleacher. I bet they're having a great old time.
"Zayn?"
I jump and look back at an expectant Mia. "Oh, shit. Sorry. Uh, what was the question?" Get me out of here.
"I said that you should tell me a bit about you."
"Like what?"
She shrugs. "Anything. Are you into art?"
"Er, not exactly."
"Oh. Well, what are you into?"
"Nothing," I reply. I'm trying so hard to not be mean to this girl. After all, this isn't her fault. It's Niall and Avery's and they're so going to pay.
"There has to be something," Mia continues, and god, her voice is driving me absolutely insane. It's so high and gritty and happy. "I see you like Nirvana." She looks down at my shirt.
I follow her gaze. "Oh, yeah. Do you?"
She shakes her head instantly. "Not really my style. I'm more into Justin Bieber."
I hold in a sigh and turn to Niall and Avery. Niall looks in my direction and laughs.
"I am going to fucking kill you," I mouth, my jaw clenched.
He gives me a wink and turns back to Avery.
"Do you wanna hear about how I got into crafts?" Mia asks.
"Oh, totally."
"Well, it all started when I was three. My mum gave me this Barbie art pack and-"
I tune out, not being able to take anymore. There's a reason I hadn't heard of Mia before this date, a very good one. In fact, I could've gone my whole life never meeting her. I just hope nobody finds out about this, because it'll be more embarrassing than Violet hearing that recording. I hold my head up. I swear I just heard Violet's name be spoken outside of my thoughts. I look back at Mia. "Did you say Violet?"
She stops, a little surprised I interrupted her, and probably realising I wasn't listening. "Um, yeah. I was saying how we were friends when we were little."
"Violet," I repeat. "As in the Violet that goes here?"
"Violet Smith, yeah. We don't talk anymore, though. I'm not really sure she remembers me."
I can't believe it. Violet was friends with Mia? Now that I think about it, they're perfect for each other. I wonder if they made egg carton necklaces together. I almost double over in laughter.
"You guys having fun?" Niall suddenly comes up to us.
I say no at the same time Mia squeals yes. Everyone looks at me and I laugh awkwardly. "Kidding."
"Well, Ave and I are gonna head back inside. But you two should totally stay," Niall grins at us both.
I leap to my feet. "No!" I yell, a bit too loud and eager. "I-I mean, we should probably head inside too, yeah?" I turn to Mia.
She looks a little disappointed. "Okay."
"Oh, you sure?" Niall asks.
I grab him by the shirt collar. "Yes I'm fucking sure."
Mia stands up and we all walk down from the bleachers. I try and walk a fair distance ahead from Mia but she eventually catches up. We all walk across the field in silence and the come to a stop outside the building. I assume Mia's going back to her dorm, so I go to say bye when she cuts me off.
"Can I kiss you?"
I almost fall over. Did I just hear her correctly? Kiss. Me? Oh god, oh, no way. No freaking way am I letting those lips even a metre near mine. Did she really get that vibe off me from the date? It was horrible! The whole thing was horrible!
"I, sorry, what?"
She blushes. "I don't mean to be too forward, but I really had a nice time."
"Aw, Zayn," Niall coos.
I turn to him, fist ready to punch. "Why don't you leave us alone, yeah?"
He laughs and steers Avery into the building. I turn back to Mia, my hands becoming kind of sweaty. And before I even realise it, she's leaning in close to me.
"Woah!" I cry, holding out my hands to push her away. "Hey, Mia, I didn't say yes. Back up the bus there, honey."
She goes red from embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought ... I, oh, I'm so sorry."
I sigh as her eyes start to water and her lip trembles. Oh, come on. She can't be about to cry. "Mia," I say. "It's alright."
"I'm so embarrassed!" She cries. "I knew you didn't feel the same way. No one ever does." She shakes her head, wiping away a stray tear from her eye. "I just thought that maybe someone would like me, that maybe I had a chance."
I just look at her, fighting an internal battle inside my head. I can't think of anything to say, and I mainly just feel sorry for her. Because she's right; she definitely wouldn't be a hit with the guys. But, is that really her fault? I eye her homemade creations that cover her and decide that it might partially be her fault. But she's alright. Weird, but alright. And going on this date was probably just as awkward and nerve-wracking for her, too. And hey, she still said she had a good time.
I lose the battle and quickly, without thought, step forward, grab her arms, and kiss her gently on the lips. The kiss lasts for about three seconds and when I let go of her, she almost falls over as she can't stand up. She steadies herself and gives a small smile, her eyes wide in delight.
I can't help it, I give a half smile back. "See you around, Mia." I then step backwards and escape into the building.
-------
I'm walking down the hall the next Saturday morning, on my way to get something to eat from the cafeteria, when I pass my Chemistry class and see Mr. O'Neil standing by a desk with a lot of equipment, looking totally confused. I stop and knock on the door and he smiles in relief when he sees me, moving to open the door.
I enter and look at the strange experiment that's been set up on the desk. "What you doing, Sir?"
"Not me," he shakes his head. "I let Violet use my class Thursday afternoon, and she didn't pack up. I don't really know what she was doing, but it doesn't look good."
"Violet?" I then sigh in realisation. "Nitroglycerin. She was trying to make nitroglycerin."
Mr. O'Neil looks startled. "But why on earth?"
"For our experiment. We have to make dynamite." I can't believe she even attempted to do this by herself. Obviously it went wrong. Why didn't she come to me? It suddenly hits me. She did come see me, but I wasn't there, and somehow that ended in her listening to the recording on my MP3.
"Well, maybe you should go talk to her," Mr. O'Neil says. "Help her out, you know? And you can both clean up this mess."
"Eh, do I have to?"
"She's your partner, Zayn. You're going to need to communicate with her sometime."
I groan. "Fine. Can you at least direct me to her dorm?"
Mr. O'Neil walks over to his laptop and clicks around. "She's number 203. Third floor."
I salute him. "Thanks. Later, O-N." Mr. O'Neil gives me a strange look as I jog out of the class. I skip breakfast and head for the girls' dorms, knowing I have so many better things to do with my Saturday. I jog up the stairs to the fifth floor and head down the hall, looking for room 203. Eventually, somewhere in the middle, I find it. I knock and try and catch my breath.
The door opens, but it's not Violet. It's a much tanner girl with long black hair down to her waist. She eyes me up and down and her eyes widen, a smile forming on her lips.
"Violet's not here," she smirks.
How did she know I was looking for Violet? "Oh, uh, she isn't? Where is she then?"
The girl folds her arms across her chest and even though she's trying to look tough, I keep catching her eyelashes flutter and her lip twitch. I'd know that look anywhere. The girl fancies me. "Why do you wanna know?"
I decide to turn on the charm so that I get exactly what I want the fast way. I step closer to her and I see her chest rise dramatically. "It's a secret," I whisper.
The girl holds in a breath, trying to stay calm. "A secret for Violet?"
I nod and give a small smile. "Yeah."
She looks me up and down, obviously checking me out, and smiles. "I knew it!" She cries. "And she denied it."
What is she talking about. "Are you gonna tell me where she is or not, babe?"
The girl blushes, but then holds herself together. "Hang on." She disappears into the room and is gone for so long that I start to wonder if she'll ever come back. Finally she does, and she holds a slip of paper in her hands. "She told me this morning she was going to this address. I have no idea where it is, but after, you know, the Harrods thing, she always gives me the address of where she's going."
I hesitate. "Wait, you know-"
"So here." She shoves the paper at me and I grab it. "Bye, Zayn." She gives me a wink before closing the door in my face.
I look at the door, then down at the paper, then back at the door. Man, there are some weird people at this school. I open the piece of paper and read the neat handwriting inside.
62A Dalome St
I'm a little confused. Mostly because I have no idea where the hell this street is, and what even is there. I toss up whether I should go, or just wait for her to come back. But chances are, I'll probably forget. I could just drive to this address, try find her, and tell her she needs to get back to the school.
I rush back down to the boys' dorm building and reach my own one, opening my drawer to try and locate my keys. Niall looks at me from his spot on the bed.
"Going somewhere?" He asks from behind his book.
I grab my keys and head back towards the door. "Yeah. Hey, where's Dalome Street?"
"Er, off Oxford. Why?"
"Thanks! Bye!"
I unlock my car and jump in, realising just how long it's been since I sat in here. Doing so now makes me realise just how much I missed it. I start the engine, place the slip of paper on the dashboard, and pull out of the school's parking lot. I know where Oxford St is, and so locating that isn't hard. I drive down the long, busy street and enjoy how good it feels to just drive. I used to do it all the time; I practically lived in my car. I loved just driving, driving anywhere. It was relaxing.
I turn off onto Dalome St and start reading the numbers on the houses and buildings. "Thirty, thirty two ..." I drive faster and stop again. "Fifty eight, sixty." I pull up outside a large white building with the sign Children's Cancer Foundation in large letters out front. I stare at it for centuries. This can't be it. I drive up a bit more and see that the next building is in fact number 64.
I reverse, stopping outside the hospital. What the hell is Violet doing here? There has to be some kind of mistake. Either Violet got the address wrong or her roommate gave me the wrong slip of paper.
I decide to park anyway and go inside just to check. Maybe Violet works here or something. I hop out of my car and walk towards the front doors.
Inside it's like an actual hospital, and I hate the places. The walls are white and everything smells of disinfectant, and it makes me light headed. There's a large reception area just ahead of me and double doors behind it, giving me a view of children playing. I stare at them for a while until a voice interrupts me.
"May I help you?" The receptionist asks me kindly.
I turn to her and I shake my head. "Sorry, wrong place." I'm about to turn back to where I came in when something through the double doors steals my attention. It's a red wrap around cardigan, and I know that stupid item of clothing, and who would wear it, any day. I look a bit closer and see Violet hovering over a small boy, holding up a teddy bear. She's saying something to him, and it must be funny because the boy's laughing.
I turn back to the receptionist. "Actually, it's not. How do I get in?"
She looks a little confused. "Get in? To where, love? Are you visiting someone?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Name?" She looks at her computer.
"Violet."
The lady looks back at me. "Violet? You mean, our volunteer?"
Volunteer? She volunteers at this place? Why on earth would you? "Uh, I think so."
"Oh, okay. Well, she should be just in the children's centre." She points towards the double doors and I thank her before rushing through them. I reach the 'children's centre', but I don't go in. I stand by the door and just watch Violet as she interacts with all these kids. Her choice.
It's not what I thought she would ever do, and I'm kind of surprised. I wonder how long she's been volunteering here? It must be a while, because all the kids are absolutely in love with her. I smile a bit, because it's kind of cute. I watch as she sits next to an older kid wearing a bandana, talking with him about something engaging. She gives a wide, genuine smile and a little girl rushes up to her, giving her a hug. Violet seems totally in her element, and it's an element I would have never imagined her being in.
I catch another one of her smiles and it's so sweet and refreshing, it makes my heart skip a tiny beat. She pulls a face at the same boy wearing the bandana and they both erupt into laughter, and my mouth twitches upwards. Then, she turns. And she looks right at the door, her mouth turning into an o shape. At first I wonder what's wrong, and why she's storming to the door all of a sudden, then I realise that I'm behind the door, and she's seen me. And she doesn't look too happy about it.
I stumble backwards as the door is pushed open. "What the HELL are you doing here?!" She cries, shutting the door behind her to keep the kids in their own happy world.
"Oh! Princess! Fancy seeing you here."
She lowers her eyes at me, waiting for me to answer.
"Your roommate gave me the address," I tell her. "What is this place? Why are you here?"
"You need to leave," she spits. "Did Helen let you in?" She strains her head.
"Why? I don't think you can make me leave."
She looks back at me, an obvious cross look on her face. "There's no reason for you to be here."
"I came to see you, actually," I say.
She softens. "You did? Why?"
I look behind her at the kids. "It's, uh, it was just about our project. But it can wait."
Violet follows my gaze and her whole body sighs. "Do you, like, wanna meet them?"
I look at her. "What?"
"They're great kids," she smiles faintly. "They'd like to meet someone else, other than me," she laughs.
"I don't know. They seem pretty chuffed with you."
She looks back through the small window and smiles again. Then, she grabs my arm. "Come on." She turns the handle.
"You sure? You're not angry at me anymore?"
She goes a little red. "Maybe. But these kids are more important than I am." She opens the door and everyone looks up as we enter. Violet lets go of my arm, leaving me feeling a little colder, and waves for everyone's attention.
"Hey, guys! This is Zayn." She points to me and all the kids look at me, a little uneasily.
I lean in to her, speaking from the corner of my mouth. "Er, maybe this isn't a good idea," I tell her. "I mean, I don't exactly look like a guy that'll get on well with kids." I look down at my leather jacket, dark jeans, and combat boots.
Violet either ignores me, or, no, she probably just ignored me. "Everyone say hi!"
There's silence and then a collective 'HIIIIII.'
I smile and lift my hand up in wave and several kids come rushing to me, grabbing my legs and thighs. I look down and laugh a little and then look back at Violet, who gives me a small smile before walking off.
I look back down at my leeches. "Hey!"
"Hi, Zayn," one grins. He must be about five, his skin a little pale.
"I like your jacket," another older one says.
I laugh and ruffle his hair, making him squeal with laughter. "I like yours, dude."
"You wanna play dinosaurs with us?"
I snort, but decide that sounds totally wicked. "Uh, hell yeah." I let them drag me over to the play mat where about a hundred toys lay. I sit down beside them, crossing my legs, and they hand me a brown T-Rex.
"You can be the Tyranowalrus Rex," the younger one says, and I laugh at his name for it. It's only when I closely look at him that I realise he has the prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen on a boy.
"Cool. What do I do?"
"You're the baddy," the older one says. "So we're trying to run away from you."
"But what if I do this!" I lunge forward and my dinosaur tackles the younger boy's dinosaur, making him gasp loudly.
"Oh, noooo!"
"Yeah, that's right."
"That's not fair. You have to give us a head start," the older one pouts.
"Okay, okay. You get five seconds," I say.
"Only five?!"
"Four now."
They both gasp and scramble away. I use the chance to look for Violet and see what she's doing. She's talking to the bandana kid again, he looks about 12 or something. He's saying something that's making her blush and she keeps laughing. She catches my eye again and smiles bashfully before looking away.
"Zayn!" I'm interrupted by my two dudes. They've managed to successfully reach the edge of the mat and I stand up and move towards them, my dinosaur out in my hands. After about five or so minutes playing with them, I tell them I'm having a break and walk over to Violet. Her and the bandana kid both look at me as I sit down on an empty chair beside Violet.
"Hey, I'm Zayn," I introduce.
Bandana kid smiles. "Levi."
Violet turns to me. "You looked like you were having a lot of fun with Rueben and Carlos."
"They're cool," I nod.
She smiles. "Thank you. Really."
I look at her and I feel my body start to heat up, because I genuinely feel good. "No problem."
"Violet's been telling me lots about you," Levi cuts in.
Violet shoots him a look and my eyebrows raise. "Oh, has she now?" I turn to her and she sheepishly smiles.
"Not much," she says.
"Oh, no. Heaps," Levi says again.
Violet sinks further and further into her chair, her face red, and I grin as I look at Levi. "Yeah? Like what?"
"About how you two are Chemistry partners, and how you're roommates with one of her friends, and about Harrods-"
"Levi, stop."
"She told you about that?"
"And about how she finds you kind of cute."
My mouth opens wide and I can't stop myself from smiling.
"LEVI!" Violet cries.
"What was that?" I say, turning to her. "You find me kind of what?"
"I didn't say that," she quivers.
"Yeah, you did."
"Levi, shut up."
I erupt into deep laughter, holding my head back. "No worries, Princess. I knew you had to admit it eventually."
"What did he just call you?" Levi's eyebrows twist.
"It's her nickname," I explain.
"Cute!" He cries.
"No. It's not cute," I tell him. He doesn't get it.
"Definitely not cute," she snaps.
"Then, why do you call her it?" He stares at us both.
I hesitate. "Uh, because. Look, can we just get back to the fact that Violet finds me kind of cute?"
"Can we not?" She groans.
"I should go." Levi grins and stands up from his chair. "Later, Zayn. Later, Princess."
I laugh again as Violet's ears go red. She turns to me. "I didn't say that. He's making that up."
"Oh yeap," I say, totally unconvinced. "I believe you."
She closes her eyes and gives a small smile. "I'm a bad liar, huh?"
"The worst."
She opens her eyes again and laughs, shaking her head. "This is so embarrassing." She covers her face.
I watch her, smiling like a kid. "No. It isn't."
She peeks at me through the slits of her fingers. "That's easy for you to say. You just found out I think you're cute."
"Kind of. You said kind of. Which, by the way, does hurt a little."
She laughs, removing her hands fully. "Kind of is all you're getting." Our gaze holds for a second too long before she breaks it by turning around. "It's noon. Willow should be up."
"Willow?"
She stands up. "I want you to meet someone."
I follow her out into the hall and we come to a small hospital room decorated with giraffe pictures. Lying in the bed is a tiny girl, her hair thin and, much to my shock, a lot of deep bruises covering her skin.
"Violet!" The girl screams, holding out her arms as Violet rushes to her and holds her up.
"Hey, Willow!" She says into her shoulder, hugging her tight. "Hey, listen. I have someone I want you to meet," she whispers.
They both look over at me hovering awkwardly by the door. "This is Zayn," Violet says, walking closer towards me. She smiles the brightest smile I've ever seen. "Zayn, this is Willow."
I can already see how much love Violet has for this girl. It's unreal. You'd think it was her own child. I lean in closer and Willow rests her head on Violet's chest, a little shy.
"Hey, Willow," I whisper softly, holding my hand out to her.
She eyes it and then places her small one on my palm, and it doesn't even take up half the size. For a minute or two I just stare at it, wondering how something could be so small and fragile. I close my hand and clutch onto her tightly, never wanting to let her go. "Hey," I repeat, my heart beating a little faster.
I look up at Violet and find that she's staring at Willow and I with such enamour, a look I've never seen on her before. I let go of Willow's hand and she places it back on Violet's chest.
"How about we go do some painting huh, Willow?" Violet asks her. "You love that."
Willow gives a nod and once again I follow Violet and we head back to the children's centre. She sits Willow at the table, fetching all the paint pots, brushes and paper. She then motions for me to sit down beside her and as Willow silently paints, Violet and I talk.
"How's Mia?" I ask her, remembering my date yesterday.
Violet looks confused. "Mia?" Her eyes then widen. "Oh, my god. Mia Walker? As in my friend from when I was six?"
"She's quite the individual."
"How did you see her? Oh, that's right! She goes to our school."
"That, and I kind of went on a date with her," I saw awkwardly.
Violet goes silent, looking like she's seen a dead body. She then bursts into laughter.
I can't help it, I do too. "Hey, I'm serious!"
"A date? With her? Why?!"
"It was a blind date." This just makes Violet laugh harder. "And it was the worst hour of my life, I am not kidding."
Violet's near killing herself due to laughter. "Ohmygodohmygod. I can't believe this. Is she still into crafts?"
"Oh, is she ever." I dramatically open out my arms. "Recycled this, recycled that. And everything's covered in glitter. She was wearing a necklace made out of egg cartons."
Violet covers her mouth. "I feel so mean for laughing!"
"Oh, that's not the worst part. She asked if she could kiss me at the end of it," I say.
Violet goes silent. "She what?"
I nod. "Yah-huh."
She gasps. "She didn't! Oh, my. What did you do?"
"At first I was like hell to no, but then she unleashed the whole 'Everybody Hates Me' speech, and I kind of felt sorry for her," I say honestly, something that I can find myself doing simultaneously around Violet.
"Wait, did you-"
"I kissed her."
Violet almost falls off her seat and all the colour drains from her face, and it's funny, because she actually seems genuinely shocked. Her eyelashes keep fluttering, slapping her cheeks, and she's tossing up whether to smile, or laugh, or neither. And, it kind of seems like she's jealous?
"For three seconds," I finish, making sure Violet knows exactly what it was. "Because I'm just such a good guy."
She decides to smile. "Okay."
We're both interrupted by Willow waving a sheet of paper in front of us. Violet grabs it and stares at Willow's drawing blankly, her entire face going red.
"What? What is it?" I reach for the drawing and she turns it to show me. And there, neatly painted by Willow, is a girl with a pony tail, a boy with spiky hair, and a small girl in between them, holding their hands. There's love hearts everywhere and in scrappy writing up the top is 'happy famlee.'
I laugh nervously, thinking I have a pretty good idea of what this picture's about. "Ha, um ..."
"That's you," Willow says, pointing to the girl on the page. "Violet." She then points to the boy. "And that's Zayn. And I'm in the middle. You're holding my hands and you guys both blushing and looking at each other because you love each other. See, love hearts? And we are happy family." She grins at us both, pushing her away from her face.
Violet and I exchange glances, very, very awkward glances. Then she looks back down at Willow and kisses her forehead. "It's beautiful, honey," she says. "I'll keep it forever."
"You will?" I raise my eyebrows.
Violet looks a little uncertain. "Well, I, uh-"
"I can keep it," Willow says, taking back the painting. "I keep it in my room. Special."
Willow keeping it seems like the best option. That way, it never has to leave the hospital. It'll just stay as Willow's thoughts, and not reality. I stand up. "I should go."
"Zayn, wait." Violet stands, too.
"No, I really should. Thanks for letting me meet these guys; they're great." I look at her. "I think it's cool what you do here."
She looks down, not letting me see her smile. But I do. I can't get the drawing out of my head, damnit.
"Well, bye," she says awkwardly. And we're back to that again. Awkwardness.
"Bye, Willow," I say. "Bye, guys!" All the kids wave at me and I race out of the building before Violet's smile can do anything more to me.