Chapter Nine
Lexus
"I'm cutting you off Lex" Henry the bartender says swiping the whiskey off the counter before Lexus could reach it.
"Come on man, just one more shot" Lexus all but slurred. This was how he spent his evenings. Drowning in Jack.
"No. You said that for the last five" Henry says giving him a look.
"What's with the look man?"
Henry sighed, dropping his j-cloth and leaned on the bar, "Lex, I know we're not friends or anything but whatever you're going through you need to find a healthier way to deal with it" Henry says making Lexus sigh dejectedly.
"There isn't. I just need to forget. I can't... I don't want to see him in my dreams too. He's already on my mind all day" Lexus clutched at his head, the bar seeming to spin.
"Maybe that's what you need. To face it head on" Henry says softly making Lexus grit his teeth.
"Well I don't. It hurts too much man. It just hurts so much" Lexus whispered. His stomach dropping. He stood on shaky limbs and groped around in his pockets until he found his keys.
"Listen man, I'm calling you a cab" Henry says snatching the keys from Lexus' hand.
"Ok" Lexus mumbled taking back the stool and sipping on the water Henry pushed in front of him.
Ah hell. Just need to forget. Maybe if he forgets the pain would go away. The empty feeling would dissipate.
He tried all kinds of things. Work didn't help. Neither did gym. He tried getting a hobby, origami, martial arts, heck he even thought of therapy.
Drinking. Yep, that was the new solution. He couldn't even think about finding someone.
He couldn't get it up and not for lack of trying on a couple of twinks' parts. He just had no sex drive unless he thought of Gage. His body would ache so bad that he's been jerking off on the regular these days feeling even filthier each time he gasped Gage's name on release.
When he arrived home in the taxi Henry called for him he just grunted at his mother, climbed the stair case and dropped face first onto his bed not even bothering to wonder why she was at his apartment in the first place.
Sleep. Just sleep. He didn't need the dreams. He didn't want them. He couldn't cope when he woke up aching to hold Gage. To see Gage's smile. Hear his laugh.
The warmth and feeling of finally finding that one thing you never thought you would. Oh how he missed it. Just feeling happy. Loved. In love with somebody beautiful and perfect.
Hell that feeling of being in love with Gage was the best feeling in the world. The best and Lexus knew he'd never ever feel that way again.
Audrina
Audrina stared after Lexus. She could see the saddened boy that returned from New York. Lexus has always been a tough boy but the one that came home was broken.
Steeling her spine Audrina made arrangements to visit the March's. She had to get answers. Did they hurt him? What could have possibly happened in that few days Lexus met with them?
It's not from lack of trying to find out from Lexus himself. Whenever she asked Lexus would space out. His eyes dulled. And then he'd clench his jaws and tell her to leave it alone.
I swear to god if they harmed my son I'm going to end them.
One week later Audrina didn't even change her clothes after checking into her hotel room before finding her way to the doorstep of Tina March.
"Um.. Hello?" Tina looked sick.. Tired.
"Hello. I'm Audrina Jenner, Lexus' mother and I want to know what you people did to my son" Audrina gritted out. To hell with manners.
Tina sighed "Come in. This.. You might want to sit for this"
Audrina stepped inside the house and sat in the chair Tina indicated for her.
"Do you want something to drink?" the woman didn't wait for Audrina's response before pouring herself a drink.
"I'm fine. Just tell me why my son came home broken" Audrina asked, venom lacing her words.
"When James was going in for surgery he asked me to get in touch with Lexus. I knew you guys had him but James refused to contact you about letting me and Antonio meet you both. But just before he went into the operating room he told me where to find Lexus' contact information and asked me to get in touch with him" Tina took a gulp of her whiskey.
Audrina sat stiffly. James.. She really did love the man but she couldn't continue a relationship with him after what she'd done so she left him taking her son with her.
"After the funeral I called Lexus and we talked for a week before I invited him here. The night he arrived he met my son Antonio" Tina took a deep breath, her entire face falling.
"They.. They... Spent the night and morning..." Tina gulped and Audrina's heart skipped beats.
"That same day Lexus was supposed to come to dinner with us but I had a meeting with a big client and I rescheduled. Little did I know Antonio and Lexus were having dinner at the same restaurant, I was shocked but happy so I told them that they were brothers not knowing that they.." Tina didn't have to finish. Audrina knew.
"They fell in love Audrina" Tina whispered "and it hurts so much to think of the pain they are feeling. Antonio has been a zombie since. All he does is cry. He's.. It's like he shut down. He doesn't speak. He doesn't smile. He never leaves his room. Today is the only day he left the house and it's only because of his business" Audrina watched while Tina cried.
Oh crap. James you asshole.
"Lexus has been the same way. I've never seen Lexus cry since he was ten and broke his arm. Since he came home he's been drinking every night till he passes out" Audrina admitted.
Poor boys. They think what they did was wrong. That their love is wrong. Now Audrina understood why Lexus was so heartbroken.
Oh James you really are an asshole.
"Tina, Lexus and Antonio aren't brothers"
"What? But James told me so. The first date we went on he told me about you guys" Tina exclaimed, eyes wide almost bewildered.
"When James and I dated he was always working and working. Barely had time for me. One night I just said to hell with it. I went out and met someone. I was so ashamed that I never slept with James after. Two months later I found out I was pregnant and I knew it wasn't James'. But James wouldn't hear any of that. I stayed until Lexus was six months old. I couldn't hold James back like that so one day I just left. Packed me and Lexus up and moved. James still tracked us down and paid for everything Lexus needed. He wouldn't hear a word about Lexus not being his" Audrina explained. Tina was unable to speak, only listen.
"I didn't have the heart to tell Lexus that he was the result of a drunken one night stand so I just went with it for his sake. So that he didn't think of himself any less" it was Audrina's turn to cry.
"Oh James you asshole" Tina laughed through her tears.
"Just what I was thinking" Audrina joined her.
The two mothers went on to talking about everything else. Audrina knew that she and Tina would become fast friends. They both loved their sons more than anything and Audrina could see that Tina cared about Lexus. Audrina was also feeling that motherly affection for Antonio the more Tina spoke of him.
"So Tina, what's our move. I think I should speak with Lexus. I'll head back home and explain this to him" Audrina says not missing the gleam of mischief in Tina's eyes. Oh they would be great friends.
The two women spent several hours planning everything down to a T. Anything to bring their boys back.
Author's Note.
First and foremost I want to offer my condolences to the innocent lives lost in Orlando.
Maybe we can find comfort in the saying that God takes the good ones early.
Okay, now yes, as you can see I'm not prolonging this book unnecessarily so about three more chapters and this will be finished.
Shout out to: